You are here
Guest Columns

Jim Ross, Jr.



August 2, 2002

Good Ol' J.R., Jr. returns with another installment of the infamous restaurant quality notes from under the stolen Oklahoma Sooners football helmet.

Folks, quite frankly, the addition of the two General Managers for Raw and Smackdown! have only been positives from where I sit. Eric Bischoff has performed very well as the head of Raw so far. I can't believe I just said that. He could stand to lose about 15 lbs. though. Stephanie McMahon playing a serious business-woman role has not been grating to listen to so far. If Stephanie wants to be taken even more seriously, it might be time to get a breast reduction. Numerous surveys in the past have shown that flat-chested women are taken more seriously than chicks with Rocky Mountain-like mammories. I'm just stating the facts here, folks. Anyway, the amount of television time these two are receiving right now is good to establish the rivalry between the two shows, but if it keeps up after say, 3 months, it might be time to look to another direction again.

That Rey Mysterio, Jr. is quicker than a hiccup. There's plenty of untapped marketing potential here with this kid. Hopefully, this talented luchadore's knees hold up over the long run. The Federation ring will dish out plenty of abuse in the form of knee injuries. More than any other ring in fact.

Is Ric Flair still being misused?

Rikishi and his fat ass is becoming the X-Pac of Smackdown! television. This character so one-dimensional and stale that it screams, "HEY DIPSHIT, CHANGE THE FUCKING CHANNEL!"

Through Hell, Fire, and Brimstone, the return of that big red machine Kane is only a few weeks away. I know this is a highly anticipated return for many fans.

The attempts to get Big Slow Paul Wide to drop excess weight have failed miserably. The current mindset concerning Slow is to present him as a threat, but use him like highly-paid enhancement talent. Somehow the Federation must justify this big man's nearly million dollar a year contract and that seems as good of a way as any. There's no use in sending him back to OVW if he isn't going to improve anyway. It's sad to see a man with as much potential as Slow let it slip away. Many of us who have something called "gumption" would make something of such a gift.

I left a message on Stone Cold's answering machine. Sumbitch still hasn't bothered to call back.

I think the character development of Jamie Noble has been very well so far. It is, however, necessary to keep this up-and-comer on television so fans of Smackdown! will know they can count on seeing him on Thursday nights. Nidia making out with Michael Cole was the funniest damn thing I've seen in weeks. Probably the most action that guy ever had.

From what I hear, Chris Nowinski is tougher than a $2 steak. Bradshaw's hazing methods haven't phased this kid yet.

Am I crazy or does that new Eddie Murphy film look like a 4-finger stinker. Does this make about 5 shitty films in a row now for him?

Even after being out a year, Chris Benoit has come back and once again proved he is one of the greatest talents in the world. He did an excellent job working Rob Van Dam on Raw. It's a shame we won't see that match-up again for a while.

If you want further proof that Al Snow is crazier than a pet coon, look no further than this past Saturday's edition of Confidential. Al is a collector of old antiques. And my god, does it make the inside of his home look gaudy. For that alone, he should be cut from the active roster. Or at least until the filming for Tough Enough III is finished.

Good Ol' J.R. is out in beautiful Cali judging the contests for Tough Enough III. Odds are the old man has spent the whole week in search of the next big hoss... I mean superstar. And God knows there was probably at least 2 or 3 he drooled over.

Don't be surprised if I do yet another interview with Sir William Goldberg... Esquire in the coming months. A lot of talk going around that this might be the next big acquistion for the Federation.

Lance Storm desperately needs a personality transplant. Great in-ring talent, but he's just too damn vanilla.

How about Kurt Angle yet again drawing a very dramatic match out of the Hulkster? It wasn't Flair-Steamboat, but was anybody expecting that? Quite frankly, the common fan knows Hulk Hogan isn't a great technical wrestler (Well, there was that one time 8 years ago when Jim Duggan said Hogan was, but that's a different story alltogether). He is a legend, however, and the fans want to see him treated as such. Angle, however, has become the Ric Flair for this generation of wrestling fans.

That's all for this week. How about doing a little BBQing this week for the Okie? I swear there will be a day when my special steak sauce will be a fixture at many barbeques.

J.R., Jr.
The Best Damn Columnist AND Interviewer on the Damn Internet

Mail the Author

Comment about this article in Wienerville



Design copyright © 1999-2002 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
Guest column text copyright © 2002 by the individual author and used with permission