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Rob Wilson




When events go down in such a downward spiral of insanity, people break out words like disarray. And clusterfuck. This whole WWF vs. WCW/ECW - InVasion in total disarray (or a total clusterfuck). If you're an internet smarty pants like myself. You'd have the inside scoop. You'd also have no life. But I digress (big brain people use that word). The scoop is this: The WWF is fumbling the ball on this one! No long-term booking, no direction, falling ratings, and stupid assholes like that old piece of trash the Undertaker not selling and/or jobbing! Well, when Chris Jericho debuted in the WWF he gave a little speech. A speech that captures perfectly what the WWF scene is right now. Here it is:

"...In this case, the dawning of a New Era in the WWF! A new era is what this once proud and profitable company sorely needs! What was once a captivating, trend setting program, has now deteriorated into a clichéd (let's be honest) BORING SNOOZEFEST that is in dire need of a knight in shining armor! And that's why I'm here! Chris Jericho has come to SAVE THE WWF! Now let's go over the facts. Television ratings: downward spiral. PPV buyrates: plummeting. Mainstream acceptance: nonexistent. And reactions of the live crowd: complete and utter silence! And I know why you're silent! You're silent because you're embarrassed to be here! And quite honestly, I'm embarrassed for you! And the reason why you're embarrassed is because of the steady stream of uninteresting, untalented, mediocre "sports entertainers" where you're forced to cheer for and care for. No wonder you're not cheering! You could care less about every single idiot in that dressing room...and especially this idiot in the center of the ring. You people have been led to believe that mediocrity is excellence. Uhuh...BLACKMAN IS EXCELLENCE!"

Ok, he didn't say that last part. And granted, Steve Blackman lost on that hot (probably windy) Chicago evening. You know what they say though, hindsight is 20/20. That's what they say right? Should I be digressing? I'll move on. The InVasion can only be saved by one man. No one from the internet (especially the internet!), not Vince McMahon, Stephanie McMahon, Paul Heyman, or Vince Russo can pull the WWF/WCW/ECW from the wretched muck that is really sucky storylines. One man can, however, save it. "The Lethal Weapon" Steve Blackman (and me). The InVasion needs a savior as Jericho called himself. And that should be Steve Blackman: Lethal Weapon and Savior FOR HIRE. He could go either way, save either promotion.

The casual fan right about now says something like: Yeah but he sucks. Har har har, that shows what you know! Go get a computer nutball! If you knew anything you'd know that Steve Blackman's *lethal* combinations of rapid fire offense makes all other repertoires pale in comparison. No defense can stand up to it as well. Yeah but does he have a catchphrase? You insignificant little marks in the dark want your t-shirts! Does "It's PARTY TIME!" ring a bell? How about "THIS IS MY HOUSE!"? Steve Blackman possesses one of the most intense personalities in professional wrestling history. The man oozes the ever quested for natural machismo that only a few wrestlers ever possess. Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho, The Rock, and oh yeah Scott Hall just to name a few.

You can call this fantasy booking if you want. But you'd be wrong, because I haven't booked anything yet...The WWF still has yet to respond to my application. But since you're interested - Steve Blackman comes back as savior to the WWF to feud with RVD who is obviously on all counts a stoner version of Steve Blackman. He eventually reclaims what is rightfully his, the WWF Hardcore title. This program then ensues into a World Title program with Stone Cold. I don't have the transition figured out on how he does this. It'd work though.

There seems to be doubters among the wrestling fan population though. And I ask them this: Have you all forgotten the man who made pro-wrestling worth watching, and will one day make it again worth watching? Have you forgotten the man that can make the world right? With just a smile...

In the midst of the current turmoil going on in the world. I sometimes think, maybe, The WWF doesn't need Steve Blackman. The world does. Memo to GWBush: Steve Blackman SAVIOR For Hire! When he smiles all is right with the world.

The above column was written by me as a gift to CRZ. He ROCKS!

Hey, my nose is brown!

Rob Wilson
Angry Canadian

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