Why yes -- a bulletproof vest.
Hey how's it goin, are ya flowin?(TenaciousDtm) It's 3:48 in the morning and I'm content with the fact that I live like a lot of you the most pathetic fucking life you can try(HA!) and achieve. Oh yeah and that quote above has NOTHING to do with the following subject matter. But if you put a quote above your work not only does it make you look smarter it also just gives your literary piece a slight nudge above the rest. Doesn't it? No? Ok. Oh and I'll explain my doodles later so stay tuned. But you're at your comp! Not a TV! Get it!?
Sometimes the internet opinion landscape boggles my mind. No, really it does. I ask you the viewer: What is wrong with all the McMahons being on TV? Ha! That's what I thought...You're just a sheep, a mindless ignorant sheep who agrees with whatever the word on high is. Maybe, the McMahons can't spend quality time together outside of wrestling so RAW and Smackdown! are their only ways to get together! Oh, I see not such a bad thing now. You hypocrites, double standard, totally in the dark, cronies.
I want MORE MCMAHONS! More McMahons=More Entertainment. Excuse me to all of you naysayers (Tenacious Dtm) out there but they run the business, I think they have an idea of what they're doing, Mmmmk!? First off, Vince is a physical specimen, a hoss by anyone's standards.
Second off, Shane has to be the coolest heel of all time and can wrestle ten times better than RVD. Third off, Stephanie has huge cans. Fourth off, Linda does as well for an old woman. That just isn't enough though for my McMahon fix. I won't be happy till there are at least 16 different McMahons on my screen. I want them all mugging for the camera. I want them bitch slapping each other and in my main events. I guarantee at least a 6 point jump in the ratings if this occurs. But where do I get these McMahons!? Then I remembered Tough Enough and a 20 year old lad named Sharbel!! This would be a great start to the McMahon onslaught I wanted on my TV. Sharbel claimed that he was the long lost son of Vince McMahon. I tried finding a picture of him but it seems he was so unimportant (once again the internet crowd fails to see real talent) that no one screen capped him. So putting my artistic ability to work I drew him for you! That's the image he left on my mind. Cross-eyed and flexing with such intensity that he's actually shaking. I can't draw hands so I gave Sharbel a horse hoof and a broken robot arm. There was a huge backstory as to why Sharbel use to have a robotic arm/claw and how it got broken off but it's been cut so look for it on the DVD.
After drawing that I then thought to myself, no one ever doodles CRZ! That's the reason he's there because he doesn't get enough attention. Am I the only guy who draws CRZ in his notebooks and writes "Mr. Robert James Zimmerman" in the margin? Guess so.
Surveys say that people with beards are less trusted than others, thus CRZ got a full blown X-Pac beard. And if you've ever done journalism related crap you'll know that WHITE SPACE is a no no. So why not write "white space" where there was some, therefore making it a non-factor (x-pac, factor, it all comes together in my head)!! Man is this funny right now (2:30 in the morning)!! But I DIGRESS (parentheses)!
Moving along - I naturally, (as naturally as I could with my hand - I have just 2 fingers and my thumb for my right hand) plucked up a pen and decided to start plotting out exactly how I would go about pitching this to the WWF. I know for a FACT that they get my ideas. LOD's Hawk suicide storyline, my idea!! Taken from a dream, I kid you not. But I DIGRESS...AGAIN!
So here it is my e-mail to the WWF bigwigs on how they should have their shows crawling with McMahons!
MCMAHONS RULE!! GET SHARBEL NOW!! HE CAN GO OUT WITH STEPHANIE AND HER BIG CANS!! WWF ROCK0RZ!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!
Sounds great! We're looking to fill in a writers position, are you available!?
WOW! Look for Shelby in the WWF soon and then after that MORE McMahon impersonators. It'll be great.
I look back on the adventure I just wrote and it really numbs you, doesn't it? I guess I could ease you all back down from your opium saddled brains with a little story. A story to give you a peek into my life. My friend was getting some patches in his hair and was constantly sleepy so he had to go to the doc's to see what was wrong. So I ask him the next day what'd the doc say? And he said the doctor stuck her finger up his ass and then diagnosed him with prostate cancer. I responded with "That sucks" and then he says - Hahaha just kidding, I just need new medication. It was the funniest THING EVER!! It's sewn with laughter because my grandfather had prostate cancer.
None of you may be laughing but my friend is rolling right now from those three words. I think.
Get over it.