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Our 3rd Anniversary

Jim Saccaro



Z FOR 3!!!

Before I get on with the tribute to the irresistible force that is Slash Wrestling and the immovable object that is our very own CRZ, let me put out this transcript of O'l Stone Cold Steve Austin having a conversation with a 90 year old man. I may never get another chance to do this since he is gone and all...

SCSA: Hey how are ya?
Old Man: What?
SCSA: What?
Old Man: What?
SCSA: What?
Old Man: What?
SCSA: What?
Old Man: What?
SCSA: What?
Old Man: What?
SCSA: What?
Old Man: What?
SCSA: What?
Old Man: Eh?
SCSA: What?
Old Man: What?
SCSA: What?
Old Man: What?
(five minutes later...)
SCSA: What?
Old Man: What?
SCSA: What?
Old Man: What?
SCSA: What?
Old Man: What?
SCSA: Oh I gotta run, gotta beat, er I mean meet Debra, see ya!!! Nice talking to ya!!
OM: What?

That last line may have been a little off color. Sorry. I feel there's no better way to handle a difficult situation than to make light of it, however. In my opinion, SCSA was the best of the 90's and probably one of the 5 greatest Sports Entertainers ever. That's all I have to say about that!

So, Slash is 3. 3 is a significant number in wrestling. Here's just a small sample of wrestling personalities with 3 letter names:

  • To pin an opponent, you must hold their shoulder down for a 3 count!

  • 95% of all promotions have 3 letter monograms!!!

  • The WWF pulls in 3 or so ratings points each week!

  • 3 is the number of Mc Mahons who shouldn't be on TV!!

  • 3 is the number of wrestlers who HAVEN'T had sex with Missy Hyatt!!

  • Speaking of Missy, 3 is the number of X's in!

  • 3 is also the number of subscribers to that site!

  • 3 is the number of coherent words in the Ultimate Warriors average web column.

  • 3 is the lowest number of stars in Chris Jericho's match rating system. (just kidding)

  • 3 is the number of times you will hear Vince McMahon say "Ruthless Aggression" per minute.

  • 3 is the number of examples I should have went with.

    Here are some suggestions to make Slash wrestling even better next year:
  • Endorsement by Slash from Guns and Roses!! I even wrote a song for him to play (below)
  • A wav file of the Knight Rider theme when you log on!!
  • More pics of WWE Divas bending over, nipple slips, etc!!!
  • A column feat. Ja Rule and produced by R. Kelly
  • More police reports.
  • A pic of CRZ's GOOD side!! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (Sorry, had to rib ya!)
  • Change wienerville to WINNERville just to make everyone feel better.
  • Change your name to CRZ2K.
  • Finally, A scathing, bitter, weekly tell all rant by none other than Koko B. Ware!!

    Anyways, I want to seriously thank CRZ for giving me the opportunity to write for such a great site. Even if I can't write every week, I hope to contribute at least semi-regularly. Here's hoping that I can be here for the 4th anniversary and the 30th!!! I leave you with a little song I wrote:

    Sweet Zed o' Mine
    (Sung to the tune of Sweet Child o' Mine)
    He's got a style that it seems to me
    Recapping my wrestling memories
    Where everything
    Was as fresh as the bright blue sky
    Now and then when I see his face
    I know that I'm in that
    special place
    And if I missed a show
    Its probably on the site.

    Sweet Zed o' mine
    Sweet Slash of mine

    He's got a site of the bluest skies
    As if he thought of rain
    I hate to look into that site
    And see Kings colors again
    His hair reminds me
    of a warm safe place
    Where many a bird could hide
    And pray for the Thunder
    And the Nitro
    To quietly pass me by

    Sweet Zed o' mine
    Sweet Slash of mine

    Where do we go
    Where do we go now
    Where do we go
    Sweet Zed o' mine

    Congrats buddy!!!! See ya.

    [slash] wrestling

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