Man, It's good to be writing something I ENJOY for once! I'm telling you I've been getting Donkey Punched up and down this campus for the past few weeks, just getting HAMMERED with work. I'm still bogged down, but what the hell, I haven't written anything in a week or so, so here's at least something.

Big night for NY sports fans, as The Yankees slowed the bleeding by winning 2-1 tonight, and the Knicks squeeze past the Wizards and finally beat Jordan in a meaningful game (well, semi-meaningful). Like it matters. Here's to hoping the Knicks can do something miraculous this season and surprise me by getting to the finals, or getting past the FIRST FRIGGIN ROUND this year, huh boys?

I've decided on my Halloween costume this year. I'm going as a member of Yatta, the Japanese N'Sync. If you want to check them out they're over at Consumption Junction under videos.

Big shout out to Mark X. Hello, buddy!! Also, Rick aka JockKid.. blahblahblah.

Is there a better way to spend the night before Halloween than watching classic Horror movies 'till day break? It's gonna be sweet!!

Fantasy B-Ball starts for me tomorrow. Jordan is a second rounder for me. If he's available in the second round I will take him, but otherwise, fughet about it.

Finally, while I really like all ourcolumnists work here at slashwrestling.com, I have to say that I have become a HUGE fan of Super Shane Spear's stuff!! Quite possibly the most in-depth stuff I've seen on the internet, and his writing is entertaining to boot!! Hell of a job Shane!(Who am I kidding, he probably doesn't even read this column).

Well, I decided to go with a little Trick or Treat goody bag this week. I'd like to start off with some observations of the past week in the WWF:

Apparently the biggest insult in the McMahon family is Wuss. Who the hell over 10 uses the word Wuss? Anyways, can someone tell me how Vince can abuse, no, TORTURE Linda physically and mentally for months, and be the hero when his son tries to run him out of business as revenge? And how the hell are we supposed to believe that Linda would side with Vince against Shane EVER??? Especially after what she went through? Also, why the hell is JR selling "the slap" like it's the most horrendous thing he's ever seen? How can he mention that while ignoring the fact that Vince drugged her up for 2 months and cheated on her IN FRONT OF HER CATATONIC FACE!!!!!???? Just things that make me go hmm.....

My idea for Survivor Series would be pretty sweet. I would have it be a 2 match card. The first match would be the Alliance women vs. the WWF women as an appetizer. Then for the main event a 20 on 20 survivor series matchup!!! They could book it for approx. 10 minutes of action before they get fast and furious with the eliminations. Then they could narrow it down to the top 10 (or so) guys on each side and have a classic elimination bout. What a spectacle that would provide!

How 'bout these teams:
WWF: Rock, Jericho, Kane, Undertaker, Bradshaw, Farooq, Edge, Big Show, Al Snow, Albert, X Pac, Tajiri, Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, Scotty 2 Hotty, Perry Saturn, Spike Dudley, Funkai, Taka Michunouku, and Billy Gunn

Vs.

WCW: Stone Cold, Kurt Angle, RVD, Booker T, Test, Regal, Christian, Mike Awewsome, Justin Credible, Buba Ray Dudley, Devon Dudley, The Hurricane, Tazz, Kanyon, DDP, Billy Kidman, Hugh Morris, Raven, Lance Storm, Chuck Pulumbo.

Notice we can keep Rhyno off of the roster to be consistent with storyline purposes. The WCW team actually looks stronger. And imagine the drama if a key player gets eliminated early. Or what if a Perry Saturn goes on an amazing run, lasting 1 hour and eliminating 8 people? That could give him a huge rub! The possibilities are endless!! Then they can have Brett Hart run in and beat the living crap out of Vince McMahon, and that would be the perfect ending. No, wait. Then Shane can jump on his back, and we can bring the Bulldog back to pull Shane off and blow out his knee!

Is is just me, or is this Rock-Jericho feud the greatest thing the WWF's done in years? In my opinion it is the perfect blend of Sports and Entertainment. They put on these great interactive interviews to put each other over while belittling each other at the same time, and then they tell the rest of their story in the ring. The best thing of all is that they are letting the fans decide who plays heel and who plays face. They at least aren't making the same mistake the old WCW did with feuds like this, which is have the commentators dictate how the bookers wanted the storyline to go and tell the fans, "this is who you cheer for and this is who you boo." Hats off to the WWF for the feud of the year and the most entertaining stuff in the last year!!! Who would have thought that a simple "secondary" story line would so outshine this whole invasion storyline!!!

By the way, thank God they decided to get on with this damn Alliance crap already. That thing was so stale it made Debra's cookies jealous!

(The scene takes place at the McMahon mansion. Vince and Linda are spending a quiet evening at home dispensing treats and watching scary movies together.)

Vince: (At the door) Here you go young man, Happy Halloween!(To Linda) Linda! We're all out of steel chairs!! Do we have any tables left?

Linda: No

Vince: How 'bout barbed wire?

Linda: Nope, sorry honey..

Vince: Ladders?

(Linda shakes her head)

Vince: I guess we're stuck giving away these Monday Nitro shirts. Damn, now our house is gonna get egged for sure...

(no sooner does Vince say that than does a loud THUMP hit the front door.)

Vince: What the hell was that?

Linda (looking out the window) I don't know.. it's a car full of people...

Vince: (Joining her at the window) Dammit!! It's Shane and the Alliance!!

(Another thump hits the house as well as the window, splattering egg yolk all over the glass)

Vince: Dammit, they're egging the house!!!

Shane: WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW? WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW? WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW? WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW? WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW? WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW? WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW? WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW? WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW? WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW? WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW? WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW? WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW? WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW? WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW? WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW? WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW? WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW? WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW? WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW? WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW? WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW? WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW? WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW? WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW? WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW? WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW? WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW? WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW? WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW?

Vince: My God!! When will he stop saying that??

Linda: He's capable of repeating the same word for hours, Vince. You know that.

Shane: Ok guys!!! Everyone throw your eggs!!!

(the Alliance starts throwing eggs at the house rapid fire until RVD accidentally busts open Booker T)

Booker T: AAAHHH!!

Shane: What is it T?

Booker: That sucka just potatoed my ass!!

Shane: That's it!! Everyone in the car!! This egging is over!!

(Everyone piles in the car)

Shane See you at Survivor Series DAD!! WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW?

Stone Cold: What?

Shane WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW?

Stone Cold: What?

Shane WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW?

Stone Cold: What?

Shane WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW?

Stone Cold: What?

Shane WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW?

Stone Cold: What?

Shane WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW?

Stone Cold: What?

Shane WHO'SE THE WUSS NOW?

(Shane and Austin continue their exchange as they drive away)

Vince: Well, I guess I'd better go clean up that mess...

Linda: Well, Vince.. I'm afraid that'll have to wait until tomorrow....

Vince: And why is that?

Linda: Because I have a very special treat for you..

Vince: And what would that be?

Linda: Well....

(Just then they are cut off by Star Trek.)

end.

If I was casting wrestlers as Movie Monsters:

1. Count Dracula - I would go with the Rock. Good looks and charm make him an ideal vampire. Plus his physical prowess would add an interesting element to the role.

2. The Wolf Man - I would go with the hairy Albert. He basically looks like a werewolf both because of his hair and because of his physical likeness to a wolf-man. Tell me you wouldn't be terrified if you saw Albert tearing into some hapless victim's flesh?

3. Frankenstein - Kane Might be a good choice here, but I'd give the nod to the Big Show. Not only is he a great size for the role, but he sounds like Frankenstein when he speaks.

4. The Mummy - BRING BACK THE YETTI!!

5. Phantom of The Opera - DDP. That creepy smile would be so perfect for the unmasking scene. I for one would probably faint from sheer terror. Although if I was casting for the Broadway play instead of the movie, I would choose Jericho over DDP.

6. Freddy Kruger - RVD. The only guy I know who can draw more blood from hapless victims than Freddy ever could and with just one swipe to boot!!

7. Jason - I would go with Kane. He's got years of experience behind a mask, and he would make one intimidating Jason.

8. Candyman - Booker T. How good would Booker be in this role? "You gots to say 'Candyman' FIVE times sucka!!"

9. Chucky - Tazz. Hey, they heights areabout the same...

10. Scream guy - Hurricane. How perfect does that fit?

Hurricane: "Whats your favrt scry mve?"
Victim: "What?"
Hurricane: "Whts yr favrtescrymvy?"
Victim: "I can't understand a single thing you're saying! I'm hanging up!"
Hurricane: "Whatsupwitdat?"

I am officially begging for feedback. Don't make me grovel. You wouldn't like that.. trust me.

Out like a Jack-O-Lantern on Nov.1