I EAT THIS UP!!!
Hello. I am a huge pro-wrestling fan, so I thought the best way to express it would be to write an endlessly winding and confusing thought piece for my man Christopher Robin Zimmerman. So, without further ado, here we go.
I Love the Big Show.
The Big Show is really big, he is really slow, and he doesn't have a huge arsenal of moves. But he is so fun to watch!! Whether he wins or loses, there is just something so cool about watching the big man take hits and then deliver hits in return. And I always find it amazing that people are able to win over him. I mean, I know the results are pre-determined, but if you pretend that it is completely real for a moment, then it's pretty awesome to see a smaller wrestler such as Chris Benoit or William Regal actually have the power to knock this man out for the three-count. I love watching matches with other big guys, such as Albert or Brock, for the same reason. Man, I miss Vader. Apparently, pro-wrestling was scripted for guys like me, since everyone else seems to be complaining that all they see are slow, big guys.
And speaking of which, they are apparently looking to bring in another big guy who probably won't take many bumps... Goldberg!!! Goldberg rules as a performer. He is big, he is tough, he has a hairy chest. As a real person, he very well may be a big dork, but that's okay, because I don't plan on seeing him outside of my TV. Many people hate him as being proud and doing it just for the money. That's okay with me! It's not all his fault. WCW handed him his push straight off, so he was given a skewed image of how the pro-wrestling world works. It's like a child-star; of course s/he will grow up to have a screwed-up life. At this point, it's not like people are loving the WWF for things like long matches and high workrate, so I don't think the eventual addition of Goldberg could make things any worse.
Besides, it's not as easy to elevate a current wrestler up to the level of top card. Y2J is definitely one of my favorites, but it's still hard for me to believe that he's on the same level as people like The Rock and Stone Cold. Even Olympic champion Kurt Angle seems more like a super tough comedic wrestler than a true top card. There is something just too goofy about him to see him as truly kick-ass. I can't fully explain, it's just some way that people like The Rock and SCSA can be funny, but when they get serious, it's lights out. And I'm not even such a huge fan of either The Rock or Stone Cold, but I respect them and the way that they've really built up their image as true top cards.
Who else could be the next top card? I used to like Bradshaw in the early ninetees, when he was a cowboy, but nowadays, I'm just not that thrilled by him. Booker T should definitely be a top card, because he was awesome in the final days of the WCW. The WWE never really gave him the push he needed during the Invasion angle. I got so sick of seeing him look with fear at The Rock and then end up losing to him cleanly ever time. It just wasn't fair. I didn't feel happy until he completely squashed Tajiri.
One thing that makes me happy is that the WWE is bringing in new stars, finally. In the last few weeks, we have been treated to the addition of Brock Lesnar, Randy Orton, Rico Constantino, and this Bautista guy, who looks like he was also someone from OVW, but the truth is I'm unsure, but he looks damn tough. So for all those haters who complain that nothing ever changes, let it be known that WWE is putting in efforts. Don't expect the headlines to be Hurricane v Kidman for the WWE title next year, but maybe in a few years, that matchup will occur in the middle of one of the PPVs (not for the WWE title) in some undetermined time, and I think that's something to hope for and not get disgruntled about.
It's good that they are bringing in these new guys who are excited about the profession, since they seem to be releasing more old members than Destiny's Child. But hey, the WWE is a business like any other, and people get hired and fired. Of course, if this were some random office company, no one would care. Since we all know the WWE's main employees, it comes as more of a shock to see people like Hall and Hennig suddenly get kicked out of the company, but that's all it is. A little shock from which we will all recover soon enough. If the person really cared about his position in the company, he would have worked harder to keep from getting fired. And if he really wants to get re-hired, then there are ways to accomplish that also.
Alright, well I've had a good time writing this, and I hope you've enjoyed reading my thoughts. I'm an old school wrestling fan, and I'm now getting to be older than some of the younger stars, which is pretty weird for me, and despite the things that I think are wrong with the WWE, I still think overall, it's a great product.
Thanks for your time.