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Hi. Wow, watching WWETV is so much fun. Tonight was the first time I had done that in many, many moons. Of course, I was at home, so I had to turn it down while my Mom made all these phone calls; like she couldn't use any of the 7 other phones in the house... nah, wheel-k, all I missed were some boring promos. But I caught some cool quotes, like:

Kurt: I hate you!

Tazz: That is one mad dead man.

Cole: The steel cage... a maze of twisted metal.

Um, sorry MC, but it's a square... it's not really so hard to navigate your way around it. But nah, I like the commentary in general, esp Taz(z). He says funny stuff, like when they did the re-run of Undertaker beating down HHH, he said something that made me chortle a bit, but unfortunately, I forgot what it was.. maybe I should take notes next time. OR NOT! (lol, j/k)

The Rik/Ric vs B&C match was comical at best. Chuck is pretty hot, and Rico ain't so bad. It could've been better. The Torrie/Maven scene was pretty lame.. Torrie looked like she was reading off of cue cards. She clearly wants to do a scene with Billy K, but the WWE must hate him, given the fact that he had no special lights on his entrance. Even Chavo Jr had special lights, and Chavo totally sucks, but in a semi-pathetic funny way.

Maven is okay. He's kind of big, but you can tell he's very new to the game. Well, give the kid credit, he's trying, and it's WWE/MTE (lol)/Viacome's attempt to appease the fans in a whole new way. Christain was really good. I'm waiting for him to take out Goldberg. Sweet!

The cruiserweight tag was sweet. I loved it when Hurra kept bonking Taj's head against the bottom turnbuckle. That was so cool! Also, when Billy did the complete flip into his pho's. Amazing athleticism, indeed. Who is Hurra's new partner? Who cares? Well, I do, a tiny bit.

Randy is pretty handsome. It's so weird, because he's younger than I am, so he looks like a tiny, little kid, well, except who happens to be quite muscular, at least compared to me. But I thought he did an awesome job in his fight vs the UT. His years at OVW clearly paid off. He was really good, and I loved his surprise cover move. UT actually took some hits! I can't ask for much more than that.

Also that guy in the black suit and white tie is really hot. Who is he? The woman announcer, Lillian Garcia, has a name, but he apparently doesn't, or at least I don't know what it is. Marc Loyd is really hot, too, although he appears to be really short, and he said some really dumb things like, "I can't believe I'm standing by Hulk Hogan." Who does he think he is, Charlie Minn?

Question: Why is it that Test looks so much like The Game (TM), and yet he sucks so much? Oh, wait, }{}{}{ totally sucks, too. There match was so incredibly long and super boring. You'd think that two big guys beating each other would turn me on, but it just put me to sleep. And, no, I'm not calling that match a sleeper. The UT's ensuing beat-down of Triple Butt was also long and boring. Ooh! He smacked him with a chair in tha back! Oh, no! Please don't do it again! No, really, DON'T. Also, why does the WWE always have these tiny, weak security people? At UFC, they had that really big, huge ref who would tear the maniacs appart when one won the match. That was cool.

Why did Storm appear to have incredibly large man-boob pec muscles? Hmm, he should get a huge push, even if for that reason only. Plus he had joked around about being West Canadian. What happened to his red and white tights/pants? I guess Mr. Canada is no longer part of his shtick.

When Val Sexy walked up to Edge and just smiled at him, that was so incredibly hot. I was like, Yes!!! I could watch that whole scene over and over again, and in fact would like to, since my Mom made me turn it down, so I have no idea what they said to each other after Val said how hot it would be if Edge-mere removed K-Master's wig (no, I don't mean split his skull). Speaking of which: Edge with a bloody face--Gross! I totally didn't need to see that. It was eww, (ie wwe bkwds) disgusting.

I was sad(e) not to see my faves Albert and Hughmorose out there. Maybe they can just fight each other, if for no other reason then to make me happ-e. Hulk is cute, but boring, and fights like a sissy girl (ie not at all like a strong, tough woman). I am thankful that he left his shirt on. His arms do look pretty ripped, so that's impressive.

Okay, so we had a Spin of the Week, a Burn of the Week, and a Rip or the Week, or something like that. I think we need even MORE to make for a more exciting, promo-filled sports entertainment product, so hows about:

HOT OILING of the week, sponsored by Quakes Lubes
HUNGER FILLING MEAL of the week, sponsored by Hungres Hommes
NAKED PENIS moment of the week, sponsored by EEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
BIG NERDY DORK moment of the week, co-sponsored X-Box, Nin and PS2 ports (do you know that's where many people plug in their mouse(s) and keyboards?)

alright, enough of this raembleh. I love email and stuff so much, so please, please write me and check out my webpage at the links so friendli-ly provided below by Mr. CRZ.

aaiigghhtt, ssee yyaahh, ddooggee
and never forget: LYNX RULZ (whatever that means)

soce, the elemental wizard
Elemental Wizardry online
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