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Matt Spaulding



One Man's 2001 In Review

50/50: 4 for 8 on Vengeance, vs. TNM's 2 for 8.

LINE OF THE YEAR: Jim Ross: If the WWF gets wiped out by the Spinarooni, then by God, we deserve to be wiped out. - SummerSlam 2001, August 19

Roll tape:

"But if Raw opens with Rock leading the entire locker room in demanding Mick Foley's reinstatement, so help me...

"Prediction: Triple H shows up on Raw." - "That Familiar Feeling", January 5

"Sid and both Steiners in the same match. I hope Jarrett has his affairs in order." - "The More Things Stay The Same", January 12

"Would it hurt to at least switch things up for the pay-per-view itself if you're gonna do that? Make the PPV version of the match a gimmick match or something. As it stands now, I've already seen more than half of this show. (And I am NOT encouraged, by the way.)

"O'Haire and Chuck Palumbo beat DDP and Nash for the belts at Sin, and their former partners are SEETHING with jealousy. Stasiak actually said he carried Palumbo during the Perfect Event days. I laughed. Heartily.

"I have to agree with Y Pac (and I believe Eric at The Shooters asked this as well): If Nash was holding David Flair hostage and making all of these demands, why DIDN'T he just order Ric to make Cat commissioner again on the spot? And I'll add this: why didn't Storm, as commissioner, CANCEL this match?" - "Give It Away" February 16

"Wait a minute - Page beat Jarrett after losing to Kanyon? Jarrett must SUCK.

"Stephanie's hatred for Trish runs deep. REAL deep. "Wrestling lessons from Triple H" deep. "Watching her hang all over Vince" deep. "Knowing when to reel in the acting when I don't" deep.

"See, this shouldn't offend you because it happened the day after Dale Earnhardt died. This should offend you because it's contrived, lame, unentertaining CRAP." - "Go For Three", February 23

"Just a note before I do this: it's somehow fitting that a company that lost $80 million in a year during a wrestling boom might close after a pay-per-view called "Greed."

"If an old angle is resurrected and ends, but the ending sucks, does it still count? And has an actual baby ever come out of any pregnancy angle? Anyway, Stasiak is Stacy's new boyfriend. He's taken to calling himself the "Mecca of Manhood", and I'm with Tanvir - Allah needs to come down and KICK HIS ASS. Instead, we get Triple B. You realize that this can only lead to a David Flair-Stasiak blowoff, and no good can come of that." - "Tick-TOCK", March 18

"Backstage, Bigelow shows us Stasiak's new tattoo: 'I Couldn't Get Over When My Gimmick Was Screwing Terri Runnels.' " - "The Last Blast", March 23

"A week after beating Austin at No Way Out, Triple H came out and bitched about how he's spent the last year-plus beating up on both Rock and Austin, yet he wasn't in the main event at WrestleMania. Well, gee, Hunter, you should have thought of that when you made the stipulations for the Austin match, you moron. Aren't you the 'Smartest Man In Pro Wrestling?' Huh? Well? Just as I thought. 'Cerebral Assassin,' my ASS." - "Woman Problems", March 30

"Eh. Bizkit should have played Taker down. But we all know that if Russo was booking this, both bands would have gotten into a fistfight on the stage, and we'd end up with a Survivor Series match at Backlash. Either that, or Lethal would win the title on Raw.

"Speaking of Triple H, why didn't he turn Monday night? I think it's a plot to stay in Vince's good graces until he figures out what's going on and why. I also think he already has an idea of what that is - he's being set up to take the fall for something. It helps that he hates the Rock, too - HHH and Rock have never been on the same side, face or heel, for an extended period of time. It'd be a violation of the laws of nature, sort of like being a fan of both the Yankees and Red Sox. You can't DO that, see." - "Boo, Hiss", April 10

"Some of the stuff I've been reading is just flat-out ridiculous. The next person to say Chris Benoit isn't over as a face goes through a table. The next person to say Stone Cold Steve Austin isn't over as a heel goes through the SPANISH announce table. The next person to say that someone Jeff Hardy's size has no business beating Triple H does the Mankind Hell In The Cell II bump, but through BOTH announce tables.

"After Shane beat Vince at WM (and rendered Rob Van Dam utterly useless, by the way)..." (Author's Note: Clearly, I deserve to be taken seriously.)

"Here's something I just now thought about: Did Angle or Heyman ever say that Angle had never tapped out to anything ever? And if so, just how far off the radar screen HAS Tazz fallen, anyway?" - "A Plea For Patience", April 27

"Remember, it was at last year's JD that Taker returned and earned the eternal hatred of Scott Keith by running in at the end of the Iron Man match." - "Bring The Verdict", May 18

"Still, though... he's trying to get to the Undertaker by stalking Sara, when he's got Kimberly at home? I'm starting to think Page is just a horny mofo." - "KOTR preview: Coming Unglued", June 22

"The nadir for the angle was, obviously, the Booker T-Buff Bagwell WCW Title match the next week in Tacoma. The match was crap, and the crowd knew it, letting loose with a chorus of indifferent boos. Two good things came out of this: 1) the WWF realized that they'd done too good a job of training its fans to hate WCW over the years, and getting them to root for WCW was going to take too long (if it could be done at all); and 2) Bagwell got canned the next week for completely stinking up the joint. (Aside: How is it that it took the WWF two weeks to figure out what nobody in WCW could in 10 or so years?)

"There's another reason I'm a little more willing to forgive some of the plot points in question. Quite simply, this angle HAS to work. And it has to work RIGHT NOW. This isn't like giving a wrestler his first upper-midcard or main-event push, where, if it doesn't work, you can pull him back, tweak a few things, and try again in a few months. This is IT. The WWF is going to have to do everything in its power to make sure it succeeds, because you can only do an invasion once. If something falls flat, you'll now see them try something else immediately. Because if this fails, all of a sudden, the future doesn't look good for Our Great Sport. But if it succeeds, it's potentially the greatest thing ever." - "Here They Come, Yo, Here They Come", July 22

"Anyone who even thought about turning Undertaker or Kane is talking crazy and needs to be put through a table for his own good." - "Behind Door Number Two", July 27

"There hasn't been a "move" feud since Glacier/Saturn, and that alone tells you WHY there hasn't been one since then." - "Summerslam Preview", August 18

"The Duds won the tag titles on Monday thanks to the aforementioned Kronik interference. I could make a case here that they shouldn't have lost them, but I won't. The Hurricane has tangled with the Hardys since he took the European title from Matt, and Storm's been thrown in with them. Bubba Ray & D-Von still don't like Spike, who's been put with Big Show because it makes for a cool contrast. But was it truly worth breaking up ShowGunns? (Answer: Yes.)" - "Invasion Report Card", September 21

"WCW Tag Team Title Match: The Hardy Boyz (w/Lita) vs. The Poor Man's Kurt Angle & Hurricane Helms (w/Mighty Molly Madness & Ivory, Except Not): This was announced during the second half of SmackDown! as if to say, "Oops, we forgot that these two teams have been feuding on and off for months ever since Hurricane beat Matt for the European title." Ah, the magic of the Heyman book." - "I Hate To Say It", October 19

"Reason No. 3,696 Why I Like Wrestling: In what other environment can a man say to his boss, "Your concern is as phony as your daughter's breasts" and NOT get his block knocked off?" - "Fabulously Fractured Factions", November 11

"What They'll Do: I'll officially say that the Alliance wins. But I truly have no idea. And isn't that the most you can hope for out of a match of this supposed magnitude?" - "And This Time, They Mean It", November 18

"And that's WHY I do this thing that I do - I love the possibilities. I love the potential. I love seeing things as they are and wondering what they could be, and I love the feeling of seeing my own expectations surpassed. I'm a mark for the lucky guess, the off-the-wall revelation, the moment of clarity. I'm analytical. I think too damn much. It's my nature." - "Wait For It", July 11

Matt Spaulding
The Oracles' War Room

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