Hello. My name is Shane Spear, Private Dick.
Professional wrestling has always been plagued by
mysteries. Who drove the hummer? Who raised the
briefcase? Who ran over Austin? What? Oh, never
Tonight, we WILL start to solve one of the greatest mysteries in the World Wrestling Federation. Who killed the Undertaker and Kane's parents? We will see this story in five parts, from five different points of view: The Undertaker, Kane, Paul Bearer, Myself, and a mystery person to be revealed for the first time.
CHAPTER ONE: THE UNDERTAKER
Here's what we know so far. Some time, many years ago, a fire started. This fire would kill two parents, permanantly burn a young child, send another brother out into the world on his own, and leave the house and funeral parlor in the hands of a would be suitor.
Later in life, the rotund friend of the family turned up in The Undertaker's life. It had been months since he had seen Paul, and he definitely had some questions. Acting as an uncle to his friend's son, Paul offered to assist Taker along in his journey. Tracing back the last few years, Bearer soon found that he had been working in his family's business for a while. Digging graves, building caskets, construction urn. Undertaker's life was truly consumed by the business of death. His life of hard work had provided him an opportunity to do something he hadn't done. Wrestle.
Wrestling came as a natural to Taker, but his cold personality towards the living didn't help the fans to cheer him. Working for World Championship Wrestling, he took the name of Mean Mark Callaway. As Callaway, he soon racked up more losses than wins, and found his own way out of WCW.
One day, a rich man named Ted Dibiase came into the Undertaker's office, if you could call it that. He offered him the opportunity of a lifetime. The chance to wrestle in the leader of sports-entertainment, the World Wrestling Federation. Instead of being a nobody character, Dibiase instead came up with the idea of just letting the Undertaker become himself in the ring. He was given purple gloves, a cool hat, and some of the best music The Million Dollar Man could buy. The Undertaker, after years of sweat and no money, was on his way to becoming a WWF Superstar.
Taker would make his first appearance in 1990. Joining a team with Brother Love and his new friends in the Million Dollar Team, Undertaker was on the winning team that night. Backstage, he stood among the veterans of the ring. He saw the Ultimate Warrior. In the corner, he viewed the man whom he had put a sense of fear into earlier that night, one Bret Hart. But turning around, he saw standing against the wall someone he hadn't seen in a long time.
Paul would tell of the life he had left behind in Death Valley. He had put the funeral home up for sale, said his final goodbyes to Taker's late parents, his dead brother, and headed out east to Hartford. He had set up an unsuccessful parlor there, but soon realized that although people loved Connecticut, they didn't want to die there. They went to Florida for that. Paul was in the process of making preparation to move to the sunshine state when he heard the buzzing of a young wrestler hitting the rumor mill. He had seen Taker's run in WCW, and took the short drive to the arena to see the yearly Survivor Series. Sure enough, Paul had located his old friend's son. Rushing to the backstage door, he posed as Taker's nephew, and was a little bit amazed when he got in without much arguing.
Now that they had met and hit it off once again, Paul came up with the idea that HE should be his manager. After much persuading, Taker told Paul that if he wanted to manage him, then HE would have to go tell Dibiase. Paul happily obliged, but was not the best sharer of news in the world. After gloating about the switch in the Phenom's loyalty, the Million Dollar Man got in the pale white face of Bearer, saying that he and the Undertaker WOULD pay in the future for this mistake. Paul went back to Taker with the news of the switch, only Bearer sugared it up so Undertaker had no idea of Ted's threat.
The Undertaker and Paul Bearer became a force in the federation with. The fans respected him, and the wrestlers feared him. Taker was making money by the boatload, and raking in wins faster than he could count. At Wrestlemania he pinned the legend Jimmy Snuka. They even captured the WWF title from Hulk Hogan at the next year's Survivor Series, one year after he and Paul had met once again.
The years began to pile up, and as they did, the fans went beyond respecting him and started to cheer for him. As one of the biggest good guys the WWF had to offer, he stood the challenges of Jake the Snake, Kamala, and one Giant Gonzalez.
Paul Bearer grew tired of the Undertaker as the years went on. Although he was one of the most known stars out there, he simply could not capture the WWF title. As Paul Bearer had seen it, he who held the money held the power. Therefore, he felt he had to hatch a master plan to get the Undertaker, one that would require taking a dim bulb under his wing and showing him what life would be life without his friend. Then he met Mick Foley.
Mick Foley was a hell of a messed up man. Many of his confrontations in WCW and Extreme Championship Wrestling had taken their toll on the brain of the man. He had once thought himself to be one of the best brawlers in the world, but recent struggles drove him deeper into insanity, causing him to tear at his hair, and hide from the world in boiler rooms. Foley had even taken a different name. The name of Mankind. As Mankind, he would share his pain as he applied the Mandible Claw to his enemies.
Paul Bearer soon met up with the psycho, and stuck a deal with him. He would bring Fol--er-MANKIND into the center of glory, so he would no longer have to hide out. In exchange for this, Mankind would have to challenge the Undertaker as no one ever had before.
Soon, on WWF TV, sure enough Mankind had started attacking the Undertaker. Paul knew what was going on, but had to play the part of scared manager. But at Summerslam, the full plot was revealed when Paul Bearer seemed to turn on his friend. Smashing him over the head with his urn, Undertaker could do nothing as Mankind would win the match, and the help of Bearer.
Over the next couple of months, Bearer organized a number of other people into his fold to toughen up the Taker. Mankind buried him alive. A wrestler named Terry Gordy jumped in to help the team, and Vader pinned the Undertaker a number of time with his Vader Bomb. But after all that, Paul's plan was to invite Undertaker back into his camp, only with a motivation to help his career with a world title reign.
Well, Undertaker was motivated, but he realized that he could do it on his own. At Wrestlemania thirteen, he captured the WWF title from sin and proclaimed it to be the year of the Taker. All Paul Bearer could do is sit in his dressing room, tears rolling down his fat chubby cheeks. Getting up, he realized he still had one card left to play. It was his trump card, his only card left. But under the situation, there would never be a better time to play it.
Now that Taker was the WWF champion, Paul would follow him around everywhere he went. His point was short and simple, come back under his management or he would reveal a secret. This secret would chance the way all the wrestler, and all the fans would think of him, said the pale man. The Undertaker knew what Bearer was talking about, but would not give in.
Left with no other choice, Bearer revealed the entire events that had transpired years ago. The fire, he claimed, was started by the Undertaker himself. Taker was responsible for the fire that killed his family. At least, most of his family, as he soon would learn that somebody had survived...
Next Time: Kane's travel from the depths of hell to the WWF. (Plus, we will find out if this is just a cheap way for me to make a profile...)