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Shane Spear




Happy Tuesday to you all. I decided to do another two part review from the WWF Home Video vault. These will focus on the only person who can convince guys to make signs asking him to show his dick, er, I mean 'Strudel.' That's right, it's the two movies about The Rock. I'll start off with the more recent one, The People's Champ, simply because I can find that one without digging through a mess of tapes. Also, because it's a DVD, there's lots of bonus segments you can't see on the VHS. SO sit back, relax, and prepare for CATCHPHRASES, because it's two straight days of Rocky.

Alright so we get a few choice on this DVD, and we'll start with the feature presentation. To open we get the titantron he used most of late 1999 and 2000, before the movie one, and his current. Rock narrates this movie next to his limo. He previews the different parts of the video coming up. HHH, Big Show, Mankind, and HHH again are all promised. Just so you know, he gets all his catchphrases in. Now we'll really start.

Michael Cole, D'Lo Brown, Jerry Lawler and Steve Lombardi all suck up to the Rock, talking about his electricity. Next is a list of the many times he's finally come back. He's come back to Greensboro, Hartford, Houston, DC, Boston, Tampa, Wooster, Ohio State, and ROCKchester. Hardcore Holly says Rock is the best guy on the mic ever, and if it wasn't for him the crowds wouldn't be as big as they are. Crash...nods. Earl Hebner says that Rock could just talk the entire match, and would still work. True Enough.

Rock is still talking while all this is happening. He takes a page from Hogan's book and talks about his twenty-four inch pythons. Then he pulls another page and proclaims that it's the bottom line because. He stops. "No, that's not it..." As Rock Flair says, to be the man WHOOO! you gotta beat the man. Another page is gone when Rocky says he's the best there is, the best there was, and the best there'll ever be. Finally, Rock just eats the damn book and bust out the OOOOOOH YEAH DIG IT! line. Gold.

When Rock isn't ripping off other legends, he likes to stick tee shirts on Michael Cole and make fun of him. Shoving his hand in his face is a good start, if you smell what he's cookin. Edge talks about how Rocky has so many catchphrases, it's hard to keep up with them. But the fans somehow do it. Here's another example of catchphrase as Rock talks trash in his sleep. "zzz..rootypoocandyass...layeththesmackdown..zzz." Rock can also get the fans to chant Rocky whenever he wants. We see this many times in another set of catchphrases. The best of this group is Rock 'crying' as he imitates HHH at Fully Loaded.

More imitations, because that's what tiggers do best. Rock rips on Kane's voicebox by saying "My. Name. Is. Kane. I'm. A Rooty. Poo. Candy. Ass." Next up his the Undertaker, ye of the 33 pound head and the Mickey Mouse tattoos. Rock rolls his eyes back and chants "DiDiDiDi" in BARNONE my favorite Rocky moment. Rocky also does a number of Aaaaaahchokeslam motions, which are also great. Earl Hebner talks about how he beats him (the wrestler) on the microphone endlessly. The Rock talks about how you point out the meaningless things like tattoos when you're facing a 300 pound monster like Taker.

Speaking of the Deadman, it's promo time. Rocky challenges the Undertaker to a title match at King of the Ring (99.) Taker is all ready to accept, but Vince stops him, asking why the Rock is the #1 contender. Vince says that Rock has to fight the Undertaker in a non-title match to get a title shot. Later that night, Rock finds out there's a stipulation in the match. The stip is HHH, as it's made into a triple-threat match. So Rock is fighting two men. HHH and Taker kick his ass for much of the match, and least until Chyna trips Taker, thinking he's the Rock. Undertaker gets pissed and goes after Chyna. HHH instinctively goes after Taker, which is enough of a distraction for Rock to pin Hunter.

Rocky egged on the feud by sticking Paul Bearer on a brahma bull's head, mocking the symbol that Taker put wrestlers on most of the first half of '99. Later, on the stick, Rock proclaims on Heat that he'll give Undertaker a NEW tattoo on his ass saying 'Tonight at King of the Ring the Rock sacrificed me fast, for he layed the smackdown on my candyass.' This promoted Undertaker to set the Brahma Bull symbol on fire. What? Oh, that was just pyro? Ok.

At King of the Ring, they finally faced off. Taker started by cheatshooting the ref. Rock hits the Rock Bottom in like five second, but of course there's no ref. Taker is down for about 34 seconds, but he gets up and sets up a chokeslam. The ref is up in time, but Rock kicks out. Rock retaliates with a clothesline, and many punches. Taker tries to mount some offense, but straddles the rope. Into the crowd, ROck yoinks a beverage and tosses in Taker's face. Later, a shoe and the ring bell are good weapons for Undertaker, but Rocky still kicks out. ANOTHER ref bump, and Rock sets up the People's Elbow. It connects, but AGAIN no ref. Bearer busts out...some ether? But Rock grabs it and KO's Taker. Uh oh, here's HHH and a pedigree put Rocky out. Undertaker rolls over, but ROCK KICKS OUT. But he can't kick out of the Tombstone from the Taker, as that gets 3.


So, now the Rock goes to a Pittsburgh 'Yes, we still have a team...' Pirates. He meets Kevin Young and others before going to an autograph signing. There he gets to meet many of his million fans. Rock fans are quick to badly imitate him. Rock readies the 'Rooty Poo Fastball' and heads out to the mound. Rock decides on the 'CandyAss Curve.' Later, the Rock stands next to a board as he points 'ROCK + FIRST PITCH = ELECTRIFYING'. I found that so funny, but I can't figure out why. The Rock had a good day in Pittsburgh, but can't leave without insulting the crew taping the video.

The Rock taks about how everybody tries to catch him in a "It Doesn't Matter" everytime they meet him. He just laughs it off, then asks them where they got their shirt. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHERE YOU...etc. Rock knows that the fans just love it even more then. Ugh...and here's more Rock imitators, including a Jamacian Rock, which is SO wrong. he only guy saving this section is this British guy who has TWO people's eyebrows.

Jerry Lawler says his matches tell a story. Matches? What matches?!? Well, maybe we will get one here because now Rocky is making fun of Triple H, and on July 5th a cage is lowered for a match between Rocky and Trips. Rock and HHH punch each other a lot, and Trips gets some handcuffs, but that doesn't work. HHH tries to climb the cage, but Rock yanks him down. Rock tried to go out the door, but gets krakow'd in the head by Chyna. HHH gets out, but wait! The referee is down, so here comes the Rock, who pulls Trips back into the cage and it's on again. Rock hits the DDT and tries climbing again, but he turns around and double axe handle's HHH. HHH gains control and almost gets out, but Rock grabs his hair and pulls him back in. They are both on top of the cage, but Chyna grabs a chair and hits Rock. Hunter is almost out of the door, but Rock just barley gets off the cage first, nabbing the win.


And here's...some Rock Bottoms. Those receiving? Kane, Mr. Ass, Chris Jericho, HHH, Mankind, Road Dogg, Jericho, Albert, Crash Holly, Bossman, Dogg, Hardcore Holly, Shane, Chodia, Undertaker, Ass, Venis, Dogg, Ass, Hardcore, HHH, Jericho, HHH, Dogg, Bulldog (Dog Poop, Dog Poop, Dog Poop!), HHH, Undertaker, HHH, Edge, Undertaker, Shane McMahon, Ass (AGAIN), Dogg (AGAIN), HHH (AGAIN), Shane, Viscera, Pete Gas, X-Pac, Hardcore, HHH, Jericho, Viscera, Kane, HHH, Undertaker, Mankind, and Mankind on the car (heyyyy...he was a HEEL there.)


Rock meets up with many of REAL sports people in the audience. This included Nomar 'I think the Sox Sux' Garciaparra, the New England Patriots, Wade Boggs, Mike Modano, and Brett Hull. The Rock asks Nomar to shine up a bat for Billy Gunn. He asks Wade Boggs to go home and select a chicken, and don't forget to shine it up. Then he sings Smackdown Hotel for the Dallas Stars' Stars and Foley. They get to fill in parts of the song for him.

Enough of those people, here's Triple H again. He has one aim, one focus. The WWF title. Rock is wondering how he's the number one contender after losing the cage match to the ROck. Most likely, sayeth the Rock, it's because he has his huge nose up Vince's ass. So this sets up Fully Loaded. The winner meeting the WWF champ at Summerslam. It's a Bullrope match, yet another "Wrestler specialty" match that said wrestler never wins. Like Kane's INFERNO match, the Dudley's TABLE match, Undertaker's CASKET match, and the Hardies LADDER match. Anyway, the point is that Rock is distracted by Mr. Ass and Chyna quite a bit and ends up right into a pedigree for the quick three. This will nicely set up Ass v Rock at Summerslam.


The people's barber shop is featured, as we learn that's where he learned most of his trash talking. We get to see the Rock depressed sitting in the barber's chair. His personal barber met him in his junior year at Miami (Fla.) Now we go to Lucky, where he buys his 600 dollar shirts, and the tuxs he wears to the emmys. Apparently the Rock made this Lion (yeah, it's a sharp looking shirt) shirt famous.

In between all this action in Miami, Mr Ass attacked Rock. In old archived footage of course. SO now the Rock radar is et on Mr. Ass. At Summerslam, it'll be Mr. Ass vs the People's Ass. Rock gets back by hiring some massage chick to rub Billy's ass with poison ivy. This gives us more of a chance to see his ass. Great. Billy grabs a kendo stick and stick Rock's head in his ass. This makes the stipulation a kiss my ass match. At Summerslam, Rock and Ass go at it. Billy is gassed at one minute in (or five second because it's clips.) Billy On the outside, the Rock crowns King Ass and then just lays out on him. More actions is traded over, and this fat chick rolls into the ring. Rock shoves Billy's face in her ass, knocking him out cold. A people's elbow, and Rock Bottom follow, and it's over like that.

Rock tells the home audience that when you're in the WWF, your main goal is to be the WWF champ. If that's not your goal, you shouldn't be here. Here's an example. On the first Smackdown, Rock interrupts NEW champion Triple H, and challenges him to a WWF championship match. In the background, The Rock reminds us that HHH has worked his ass off to get where he is. Has he been a good champion? Yes. Has he been the Rock? No. Back to footage, the Rock walks down the people's ramp, and attacks Trips.

Later that night, he gets his match. Rock dumps HHH over the top rope. At the top of the ramp, Rock has some control. But back in t he ring, HHH gets some momentum. Shane McMahon comes out to argue with special ref Shawn Michaels. Lotta right hands by Rock. Rightrightrightright. EVEN IN CLIPS YOU CAN FEEL THE MOVESET!!! Ending comes when Rock tries a people's elbow but HBK superkicks Rock. HHH gets the pin, and Michael skips town.


The Rock says it's damn good to be a Miami Hurricane. Damn straight, it still is today. But there's a lot of questions... I wonder what'll happen if JR's Sooners meet Rock's Hurricanes at the Rose Bowl? Loser shuts up for a month? I wonder if Shane Helms is a Miami (Fla) fan. I wonder why Miami of Ohio thinks they are so important that you have to specify which Miami you're talking about. NOBODY talks about the Redskins. It's all about the HURRICANES. Back to the video. Rock hangs out on the field before the Miami-West Virginia game. He signed for thousands, possibly millions he claimed. Rock wears number 94 if you care. In the end, Miami wins (of course.)

Now it's time for fun, as Rock and Sock get together. Hey, if they get to use footage over and over so do I. So here's what I had to say about it in the RAW recap...

Now, onto the Rock and Mankind when they became the Rock n Sock connection. One night in Boston Mankind offered to be the partner of the Rock. Rock doesn't like Mankind, but he respects him, so he accepts. So they fight and win the WWF tag team titles from the Big Show and the Undertaker. This of course led to many funny encounters where Mick would rip off the Rock phrases.

One night, Mankind decided to throw a record breaking PARTEE for the Rock. It was 'This is Your Life' for the Rock. Mankind brought out some former people in Rocky's life, including his teacher, his coach, and his high school sweetheart. It turned out of course that his ex cut him off at second base. The crowd boos as Rock says poontang for the first time. WOW! FEEL THE COMEDY!! Mankind, not doing too well so far, offered up some presents. A Rocknsock jacket, and Mr. Rocko, who later took up residence in a rather gross place. Val Venis' Valboski. Luckily they left that out.

Onto newer footage, Mankind loves the Rock but Rocky really doesn't like Mankind. One night Val Venis was fighting the Rock. Mankind tries to run in, but hits the Rock instead. Rock rockbottoms Mankind and Val, and after winning the match the Connection starts yelling at each other.

Two months pass, which are covered on Foley's DVD if I'm not mistaking, and we see that Rocky is going to fight Albert and Bossman alone. He's struggling, so Mick FOley comes from the back, sans mask, and begs for the tag. He gets it, and kicks some ass. Out comes Socko, and Albert gets some sock. While the ref is distracted, Rocky hits a Rock Bottom from behind on Bossman and they win.

Lawler talks about how everybody loves the Rock because of the humor. He talks about how he tries to be the heel commentator, but he can't make fun of the Rock because it would just make [Lawler] look stupid. Speaking of Lawler looking stupid, here he his begging for Rock to say Poontang Pie. God, I don't miss him at all. Michael Cole talks about how when one person embarrasses another, it's funny. The first time he got a shirt on his head, he pointed out how he couldn't even more his head. Then they show the promo, and it's true. Rock would completely stop the promo to yell at Cole. Gold.

Michael Cole's favorite catchphrase is "It doesn't matter..." Rock talks about when that started. During his feud with Mr. Ass, Rock cut a promo on Billy, talking about how Gunn talked to God. I'll get to this later. Rock tricked some ring guy, Chris Jericho, Michael Cole, some guy named Mark, British Bulldog, Cole again, and Triple H. The best one comes against the Dudley Boyz. The Rock asks "who are you two rooty poos?" Buh-Buh, in studdering mode at this point, says he should know they are the D-D-D-D... "I-I-I-I-I-IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!" Cole's favorite Rock moment was one night in Pittsburgh, when two cops try to interview the Rock about Austin getting hit by a car. Michael tells us how he couldn't keep a straight face during all the catchphrases.

Before Al Snow had to train rookies, he did have one feud with the Rock. It all started by Snow getting pissed off because Rock mistook him for the janitor. Rock tries to understand that his name is "AAAL?" Rock says the word Al better than anybody in the world, by the way. SO eventually, Rock gets what's coming to him when Snow interferes in a Rock n Sock match getting them DQ'd. One night, ROck is STILL bad mouthing Al, but this time Rock gets blindsided. But ROck later tricks Snow by pasting a DX sign onto his door to lure Snow in. This all leads to a match on RAW, which was in a cage. Rocky would win this match, ending the mini-feud. I would complain about Job, but this is HIS video, so I'll let it go.

Rock apparently wrote a book between burying Snow. D'Oh, there I go... Anyway, here's MORE imitating fans, waiting in line to get an autograph. Yeesh. That's enough of this segment.

Whoa, suddenly we jump back a year. Rocky is back in the Corporation and is making fun of Paul Wight. He asks him if he thinks he can just walk his ass on the Rock's show. Vince tries to separate the two, but Rock won't shut up, calling Show a 500lb bag of monkey crap. Fast forward to a year later, the Rock says he will be in Royal Rumble and he's gonna chuck 29 other jabronis over the top rope. Show, who was a megaface, well maybe just a face, at the time says the most vile words in the world. "I DON'T LIKE THE ROCK." EVIL! FOUL! SON OF A BITCH! Big Show. Instant heel. The Rock hopes and prays that Show and Rock are the last two so he can defeat him.

Well, at the Rumble, the two did go at it, and they WERE the last two left in the Rumble. This leaves them to go at it. Show eats a number of rights, and a spinebuster. Time for a people's elbow. Rock tries to whip Show out, but Show chokes Rock into a Showstopper. Show puts Rock on his shoulder, and tosses him over, but Rock pulls Show over as well and hangs on to win the Royal Rumble (2000).

Final thoughts are thrown out. Michael Cole talks about how he does great promos and action together. Rock, not Cole, I mean. D'Lo says Rocky hasn't even peaked yet. And finally, Rocky is back at the limo, talking about how over the next years, the music will still hits, and all the fans will stand on their feet, proclaiming him forever as the people's champion. The same titantron takes us out.

Now it's time for the DVD extras. There's a section called People's Slide Show, which is just still shots of the Rock while the music plays in the background. The we go to The Rock Says... , a collection of Rocky interviews.

The Rock starts out with an insult on Triple H that I pointed out earlier, about his nose and McMahon's ass. Then he takes a U-Turn and talks about Billy Gunn. According to The Rock, Billy prayed to God one night, saying that even though he won King of the Ring, everybody still thinks he sucks. The heaven opened up, and God spoke to Billy. God called him Bob, and then said it didn't matter what he name is. God then told Billy to go find the Rock. God also apparently says all of Rocky's other catchphrases too. Soon, the heavens opened again, and millions of people in heaven called him a jabroni. If you smell what he's cookin. 1 for 1.

THE BIG SLOW. (9/9/99)
In Chicago, Rock decides to insult the Big Show after Show had attacked him on the last episode. The Rock says Big Show has never impressed the Rock. Rocky riffs on Show muzac, calling it "Well, it's the BIG SLOW." Rock continues being brutally honest as he talks about how every gets up to take a piss when Show comes out. Rock then imitates the chokeslam hand motion. 2 for 2.

Rock appears on the premiere episode of Smackdown. Eh, I covered this earlier. 2 for 3.

MY NAME IS KANE (9/6/99)
The Rock is not impressed by Kane, even though there's fire from his ass, fire from the posts. Well, now the Big Red Retard can finally speak. Tonight, The ROck will give him the voice gimmick (gimmick?) so he can say "My. Name. Is. Kane. I'm. A. Rooty. Poo. Candy. Ass." So now, the Rock has one choice for the voice box. Turnitsidewaysandstickituptheassyeahrightupit. 2 for 4.

The Rock is in Las Vegas, so here's a themed promo. Big Show, Kane, Undertaker, Mankind can all go to the Tropicana Hotel and play the slot machines. Not just that, it's the people's slot. One bull. Two bulls. THREE BULLS. They hit the jackpot. Undertaker with his 33 pounds head, jumping around screaming like a girl. And Kane does cartwheels in the casino, scaring everyone. "I. WON. I. WON. LET'S. PAR. TEE." The biggest goof of them all, scares the Rock's fans going "Auauaugauagaugh" (hand motion optional.) So after all this, The Rock comes in and shines up all the gold coins, and stickupst8upalllllllllltheircandyasses. 3 for 5.

Rock is guest ref in a title match between Bulldog and Triple H. When Bulldog covers HHH, Rock counts ONE TWO IT DOESN'T MATTER IF THE ROCK COUNTS TO THREE. The segments ends by Rocky kicking both their asses, of course. 3 for 6.

Mankind talks about how he feels like the Connection is like a marriage. Rock calls him bisexual, and refuses some of Mankind's poontang pie. Mankind doesn't think he HAS any poontang. Rock tells him to shut up so the crowd can chant for a while. Mankind is just saying he doesn't want the Connection to end up like Skip and Zip. Mankind wants to be like the three musketeers, the guys with the swords. Open season for Rock to take the swords and you know what. Y2J SAVES THE SEGMENT, calling it unfunny and unentertaining. Rock counter by saying a few months ago, Jericho felt special by fighting some guy named Juvintud.

"The Rock is making a statement..." - Cole.
"No shit? GET OUT!!!" - Me.

4 for 7.

PEOPLE'S PIE. (10/21/99)
We're in Louisville for more TALKING ACTION. Tonight, he's going to serve up a piece of pie...

4 FOR 8!!!!!!!!!!!


4 for 9. You can look the date up yourself...or just learn when Thanksgiving is.

With that out of the way, we go to the interviews. Nope, no extra matches on this DVD, which could be a good thing I guess. The ROck didn't really kick in into high gear until 2000, in my opinion. So here's the interviews.

THE T-SHIRT (7/5/99)
Michael Cole gets to wear the new Smackdown Hotel tee shirt. Then he starts talking about HHH, but whenever Michael Cole even twitches his head, Rock stops for a split second to yell at Michael Cole. This actually was pretty funny, but it was already in the feature presentation. 4 for 10.

The Rock imitates Triple H crying on Sunday Night Heat. The Rock says they didn't keep him down because he said goodbye to his rooty-poo friends, they kept him down because he ABSOLUTELY SUCKS. 5 for 11.

The Rock can't believe that Show and Taker have the guts to challenge the Connection to a buried alive tag team match. He talks about how shovel is going up somebody's ass. Michael Cole tries to get a word from Mankind, but the crowd chants for the Rock instead. Foley talks about how they'll be making Undertaker Rest in Peace. A lot of Cactus Jack coming out of 'Kind in this one, at least enough for a point. 6 for 12.

In case you missed the promo from Smackdown with Rock and Lilian Garcia and the People's Dick, here's the original. Rock tells her to goosebump her ass out after teasing her for a while. Whoa, Mankind's there too. The fans chant again, didn't I just see this? Mankind sings a little "AHHH! AHHH! AHHH! AHHH! BURIED ALIVE!! BURIED ALIVE!" This apparently gets the Rock's seal of approval, because he doesn't send him a dirty look. 7 for 13.

The Rock runs into some old security lady named Louise. The Rock decides to sing Smackdown Hotel, which I have to admit, he does well. He gives her a hundred dollar tip. He says she probably has gas, so she should go to the drugstore, get a bottle of Maalox, turn it sideways, and...the Rock can't get it out. Happy Birthday. Acceptable. 8 for 14.

Apparently Rock has a Shang Tsung rolex that got broke, so he complains that Cole is looking at him. Somebody hands him a tee to put on him. That's the highlight of the promo. 8 for 15.

DOUGHNUTS (11/15/99)
Two cops try to get some questions out of the Rock regarding Austin's car trouble. Rock talks about his car being stolen, then asks if the Rock is under arrest. Since he's not, he asks for their names. Uh doesn't mattah! So after the fans chant, Rock offers up a Jelly donut to stick up the ass. 8 for 16.

So, that's the great one's second video and first DVD. It real did a good job outlining the second half of 1999 for the Rock. However, ti reminded me of how much I hated him then. It's not his fault though. He was really just starting to come into his own as a face, and a lot of his stuff seemed more repetitive and mean than funny. If you really want some good comedy, wait for the next DVD, because he's really gotten better in recent years. Or check out "Know Your Role" as Rock was GOLD as a heel.

Mildly MILDLY recommended for regular fans.
Recommended for Rock fans.

Next (Tommorow): The Rock: Know Your Role (VHS)

Shane OUT. Super Shane Spear
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