ASK THE GIRL...
Before I start, I must say something...
Russo is back?!?!
I should have freaking known just seeing the Nidia/Helms/Noble promos. You may claim he "modernized" the business. I will pimpslap you with Beaver Cleavage, Val Venis starring in "I Choppy Your PeePee!" and David Arquette, WCW Champion. Here's to Crash TV!
And now, the real column.
Is it so rare to have a female opinion on wrestling? At least a female writer who doesn't specialize in bad slash fanfic? "And then Jeff looked into my eyes, and it was the BEST PROM EVER!" I am ashamed I typed that. Very, very ashamed. Since I'm the online equivalent of a unicorn or a WWE female with natural breasts, I thought I'd answer the FAQs I get in email and open the door to questions. It was this or the column Hyatte suggested, "Top Ten Hottest Wrestlers", which I will save for later. After all, who doesn't want to read about what WWE males I would like to give a tongue bath? Besides, isn't this a family site?
What Do You Look Like?
Umm, six feet tall, 36DD, blond hair and blue eyes, YOU WISH. Honestly, I'm five feet tall, built like Molly Holly, red hair and green eyes. Yes, I have pictures. No, I'm not sending them out. Thanks for playing.
How Long Have You Been A Fan?
Off and on since the early Eighties. When it gets too cartoony or bores me, I stop watching. Recharge the batteries.
So What Are You Into, Wrestling Wise?
I can easily categorize my favorite wrestlers. After all, OCD is your friend. Try it, it's fun!
High Flying Lightweights : Jeff Hardy, Rob Van Dam, Tajiri, Shane Helms, Billy Kidman
Crazy Bumptakers : Mick Foley, Spike Dudley, Jeff Hardy, Jimmy Snuka
Wise Ass Heels : Paul Orndorff, Piper, Triple H
Intense Bastards : ECW Taz, Benoit, Triple H
As A Woman, Aren't You Offended By How The WWE Uses Women?
Nope. Not at all.
Were they forced to sign with the company? No.
Were they aware of how the business utilizes women? Yes.
If I apply for a job at Hooters, I can't complain when they make me wear butt floss shorts and go braless. :shrugs: Take that, Rena!
I would like if they had made a point of pushing good matches vs T & A fluff but I realize the perceived fanbase is young and male. Plus Vince needs his eye candy. I think Stacy Kiebler deserves a huge raise for letting him slobber all over her. First she gets the David Flair/Stasiak action in WCW, now Vince. ::shudders::
Fun With AIM!
The worst PPV EVER :
craigb: I would rather see Hulk Hogan vs. Kevin Nash 3 hour Iron Man Mud Match, with runins by The Wall, Tank Abbot and the decomposing corpse of mae youngs hand baby
craigb: heheehe, ok
craigb: although the hand baby could still out work the other 4
hardyzgrrl142: Iron Man, 3 Hour, Mud, Kennel in the Cell
craigb: you forgot th th th th THONG
hardyzgrrl142: Followed by Evening Gown Hardcore match between Chuck, Billy and KweeWee. Patterson reffing
craigb: Lita and Scott Steiner on commentary
hardyzgrrl142: And Jeff helping them
craigb: I wasn't going to pick on him
hardyzgrrl142: Awww. You can, you know
craigb: and lawler, just to stand behing lita yelling PUPPIES
hardyzgrrl142: With his shirt off, dry humping her chair
Enough babbling for now. Questions? Comments? Cash Donations? See the link below.
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