You are here
Guest Columns

The Outsider




Gotta say that it's extremely gratifying reading how many fans think WWF TV of late has been, to quote a very wise man, one big Hulka-crap. (Can't wait to tell my psychiatrist; this proves I'm not crazy!) Unfortunately, there's only one sure way I know to convey this dissatisfaction to The Powers That Be in Stamford, but that's exactly what I'll be doing this Sunday. Meaning that unless I inherit a sizeable sum of money between now and then, I will definitely, absolutely NOT be ordering the WM PPV. No way I'd presume to get into telling others to do the same, but maybe if enough people pass on WM, they'll get the message, which is: Better re-think your approach, Vince, 'cause right now the product sucks.

Some random thoughts before the main course:

I've seen enough of Hardys/Dudleys to last a lifetime. But if Vince is going to involve them in the tag title match, why not sell it using the tried-and-true Old School method, i.e., have Team Flame-On cut promos on how everyone's against them, and the booking committee doesn't want them to have the titles, and how they have to beat not one, not two, but three teams. How it's not fair, but yet they don't care, because they'll beat whoever they have to.

And again, if Billy & Chuck can't cut a decent promo, give them a goddamn manager.

The Undertaker, the APA, and Kane: three participants in major Wrestlemania matches. Yet all three were given the night off on Monday. So instead of adding a little sorely-needed fuel to the fire of their feuds, my TV screen was filled with scene after scene of the Vince & Steph version of "Inside the (bad) Actor's Studio."

Speaking of that riveting board of director's meeting -- Let me get this straight. Vince said, publicly and on more than one occasion, that he wanted to bring in the nWo to destroy the company, which would have thrown every person in that room out of work. Yet Flair has to go because he embarrassed them? Trust me, guys: Punching a fan .... that's an accident. Unemployment .... now THAT'S embarrassing.

Don't know what brand of coffee Billy Gunn's been drinking lately, but he executed the crispest, fastest tilt-a-whirl slam I've ever seen. If you blinked, you missed it.

That scene at WWF NY was another stroke of genius. "Wow, just what I've always fantasized about: a strip club where the girls not only can't dance, they don't even take their clothes off!" And raise your hand if you think Jackie is even remotely sexy.

I actually felt sorry for Scott Hall, being forced to carry those two goofs for the whole match.

Hope somebody in authority was paying attention when Booker first came out. This guy is totally ready for a face turn.

And speaking of makeovers:

Kane's success on Weakest Link is a golden opportunity for the WWF to finally give this guy a character that works. Kane could be the misunderstood Frankenstein; underneath the mask is a philosophical, educated man. The other wrestlers could come to him for advice and answers to all sorts of problems. It could be like when wrestlers were coming to APA for all sorts of security assignments. They could show him taking night courses, talking to mystic yogis, hanging out a "Licensed Psychologist" shingle in the back. The possibilities are endless! Plus the fans love him. Kane could be instrumental in moving different plots along, and talking would give his gimmick some substance. Kane doesn't have to stay the two-dimensional boring archetype forever, and I can't believe his performance on Weakest Link didn't cause a light bulb to go off in some WWF writer's head.

The Outsider

Mail the Author

Comment about this article in Wienerville



Design copyright © 1999-2002 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
Guest column text copyright © 2002 by the individual author and used with permission