WRESTLING ACCORDING TO THE MOVIES
Volume 1 - "Gone With the Wind"
Quote No. 1
Prissy: Mammy, here's Miss Scarlett's vittles.
This is similar to the exchange between Vince and RVD after Rob busted his opponent open hardway for the 15,679 match in a row. Simply replace the word "vittles" with the word "shit" and you'll have it. Scarlett didn't eat. RVD jobbed to Edge.
Quote No. 2
Rhett Butler: With enough courage, you can do without a reputation.
Mr. Butler's bold statement has finally been proven false. We know plenty of guys with enough courage (Lance Storm, Chris Kanyon, Raven) who simply don't have the WWF reputation. Then there are the guys without much courage (read balls) who have the reputation and therefore get the push.
Quote No. 3
Rhett Butler: How fickle is woman
Are you sure it wasn't Matt Hardy that said this? Currently, Stacy, Trish and Lita are totally messing up his flow. In fact, if Matt would just quit messing with these women, only if the Hardyz were gay....oh, wait.
Quote No. 4
Rhett Butler: I'm very drunk and I intend on getting still drunker before this evening's over.
Just pick any show and then picture the APA back stage in their office. Damn!
Quote No. 5
Scarlett: I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow.
This is what the WWF creative writing team says on Sunday when asked about Monday's RAW telecast. The quote is then re-used on Tuesday as the top WWF honchos discuss another ratings drop for their Monday night mainstay.
Quote No. 6
Rhett Butler: What a woman.
Stacy Keibler. Boot on the neck. 'Nuff said.
Quote No. 7
Scarlett: My life is over. Nothing will ever happen to me again
A good summary of what Bob Holly said in a recent interview posted on WWF.com. If you didn't see it, check out "Holly Shootz" over on the CRZ ez-board.
Quote No. 8
Rhett Butler: I can't go all my life waiting to catch you between husbands.
Chris Jericho to Stephanie McMahon after he turns heel at Survivor Series. This will set up the Jericho-HHH feud we've all been waiting for (???). Also sets up Austin/Jericho v. HHH-Rock. Now that would be cool. Of course, it could be Angle (or Test) that uses this triumphant, pre-smoochie line.
Quote No. 9
Rhett Butler: Take a good look my dear. It's an historic moment you can tell your grandchildren about how you watched the Old South fall one night.
Saving this one for the first time the Undertaker loses a PPV match. Imagine it. Undertaker goes down, then you look over at your buddy and say the above words (minus the "my dear" part unless you're with your gf/wife).
Obligatory Most Famous Quote No. 10
Scarlett O'Hara: Rhett... If you go ... where shall I go? What shall I do?
WWF fans feel basically the same way about Shane and Stephanie. If they aren't on our televisions screwing up our favorite shows, Where shall they go, what shall they do? Frankly, we don't give a damn. To tell you the truth, many of us are dangerously close to feeling that way about the entire WWF product.
That's it for this week's Wrestling According to the Movies. Maybe I'll post another movie next week. Feel free to drop me a line or give me a shout-out over at the ez-board.