*** Apologies for the lateness here -- long story. No play-by-play since I don't have my tape of the show to fall back on. ***

Some nice matches on Jakked last night, or at least I seem to remember this... I can't exactly remember WHO wrestled... it's been a long weekend.

AND TODAY IS JUDGMENT DAY! (Which makes this Judgment Night?) As usual, I'm expecting a lot of hype, maybe a match or two, and maybe some storyline tacked on for the start of the PPV. And here... we... go!

WWF ATTiTUDE

We start off with a quick ReCAP of the Heartbreak Kid's return to the WWF on Smackdown, and the ensuing rumormongering.

INTRo

PYRo

Holy crap! It's the BRiTISH BuLLDOG! I haven't seen him in AGES!

BRiTISH BuLLDOG VS. JoEY ABS (with RoDNEY AND TWo-TiME, TWo-TiME, TWo-TiME WWF HaRDCORE CHaMPION PeTE GaS)

Oooh! Later tonight Essa Rios takes on Taka Michinoku! Oh, and we get the big D'Lo/Godfather blow-off. Whooo.

Bulldog wins after taking out the whole posse when Abs leaps off the top rope into walking powerslam position. (Bulldog, 4:25)

That was much longer than it had any right to be, but the crowd seemed psyched to see Davey again.

Our hosts are MiCHAEL HaYES and KeVIN KeLLY.

EaRLIER ToDAY, CHRiS JeRICHO arrived at Freedom Hall, and CHRiS BeNOIT looked at him evilly.

CoMMERCIAL

MoMENTS AGo, we saw what happened earlier today. Um... okay.

MiCHAEL CoLE and LiLIAN GaRCIA discuss the IC situation, what with Holly maiming Benoit and all. We get a ReCAP of SMaCKDOWN - 3 DaYS AGo. Then Cole gives us another ReCAP, this one of the continuing Benoit/Jericho feud.

Meanwhile, BaCKSTAGE at JUDGMENT DAY, SHaWN MiCHAELS arrived in a limo.

CoMMERCIAL

I tried those Italian Sausage Ravioli this weekend, and... well, they're okay, but a little too sweet for me.

LiVE from LOUISVILLE! People buy programs and we see an outside shot of Freedom Hall. Lilian trying to sound fierce when she says "Drive hard!" gets a laugh from me. But what's REALLY funny is that the scrolling marquee of Freedom Hall says "WWF JUDGEMENT DAY". I used to make that mistake myself... but now I use a spell checker! (Sometimes.)

EaRLIER ToDAY, LaTINO HeAT arrived in a muscle car. Eddie proceeds to piss me off, but he is quickly interrupted by DeAN MaLENKO, who orders Chyna to stay out of the match. She and Eddie share a chuckle at this and walk away. PeRRY SaTURN stops Dean and says, "If you're gonna kiss someone's ass, kiss my ass, 'cause I'm gonna win it tonight."

CoMMERCIAL

The RC EDGe MaXMIMUM PoWER of the week is Tori splashing Buh Buh Ray through a table at RaW, SiX DaYS AGo. NOT JUST COLA - POWER COLA!

ESSa RiOS (with LiTA) vs. TaKA MiCHINOKU (with FuNAKI)

There's a bit of chaos at the beginning when both Funaki and Lita interfere in the match -- our ref confers with all four participants... and this is now a tag team match!

Insert standard high-flying action HERE.

Rios gets the pin after he and Lita nails Taka and Funaki with simultaneous moonsaults. (Rios and Lita, 5:05)

DAMN. All I have to say is DAMN. Not bad for a pair that split a week later, eh?

BaCKSTAGE at JUDGMENT DAY, the MCMaHON-HeLMSLEY FaCTION arrives in limos.

CoMMERCIAL

Interesting note -- when the PPV came on at 7:30, my cable box told me that the following were "featured wrestlers": The Rock, Triple H, The Big Show, Chris Jericho, Kurt Angle, Tazz. TAZZ?

DuRING THe BReAK, at JUDGMENT DAY, Vince and HHH had a little meeting... but Stephanie snuck off into Shawn Michaels' dressing room?

Next we get a ReCAP of the Big Show/Shane feud, thanks again to Cole and Garcia.

Afterwards, the two discuss the main event. We learn nothing of interest.

BaCKSTAGE at JUDGMENT DAY, Steph is leaving Shawn's dressing room -- with a sly smile!

The WWF SLaM OF THe WeEK, from 1-800-CaLL-ATT, is Shane's chokeslam from SMaCKDOWN - LaST THuRSDAY. And they have no catchphrase for me to parrot.

CoMMERCIAL

MoMENTS AGo, we saw... aw hell, read it yourself.

DuRING THe BReAK, at JUDGMENT DAY, Shawn Michaels left his dressing room with a poker face. He walked down the steps... into the Rock's dressing room? Okay, if he leaves with a smirk, I quit.

THe GoDFATHER (with prosti... er, ho's) VS. D'Lo BRoWN

Godfather runs through his usual spiel before D'Lo's entrance.

As D'Lo comes down the ramp, we see a scene from SMaCKDOWN, ONe MoNTH AGo, when D'Lo turned on his former pimpin' partner.

Godfather asks D'Lo why they broke up -- didn't he like the ho's? Didn't he like having sex, with the ho's? D'Lo's reply - "YOU SUCK!" As my roommate put it, that sounds a lot like the old fuck-you-clown joke...

Godfather wins it after the standard Ho Train and, I think, a Pimp Drop. (Godfather, 3:38)

But wait! D'Lo attacks after the bell -- Sky High! He's talking smack... and a ho is out to defend her boss! It's former Hardcore Champion Strawberry! [1] Sky High on the ho! D'Lo going up -- FROG SPLASH ON THE HO! Now THAT is a way to get heel heat!

Now, another ReCAP -- this one of Rock/HHH and the Iron Man stipulation.

MoMENTS AGo, THe RoCK walked the halls of Freedom Hall! And he enters his own dressing room! So... if he wasn't there before... what was Shawn doing exactly? "Dude, I've been waiting for you for half an hour -- you'll never guess who I just banged!" Okay, I'll stop.

CoMMERCIAL

DuRING THe BReAK, HBK left the Rock's dressing room. And, thank God, he was NOT smirking.

"No Chance in Hell" fires up, and out comes WWF CHaIRMAN ViNCE MCMaHON! (We're at JUDGMENT DAY now, duh)

Announcing for the next five minutes -- JeRRY "THe KiNG" LaWLER and JiM RoSS!

"Asshole" chant fires up, and Vince thanks them for the warm reception. Vince says Judgment Day means the world is gonna end, and that the people in the audience aren't ready for it yet. Why? Because they're just like The Rock! (We get some microphone trouble, leading to Vince telling a stage hand to stick the broken one... well, he doesn't exactly say, but we know where.) Why are they like The Rock? Because they're all liars and cheats!

Okay, this is going NOWHERE, just like Steph's promo on Heat before Backlash. WWF Copyright notice comes up, and Vince gets cut off, and we're gone. Well... I sort of wondered where he was going, but I was afraid it was nowhere. Oh well.

Off to Judgment Day...

UNAUTHORIZED VIEWERS BEWARE AND BE FOREWARNED!

See you next week! I am, as always...

THa MaSTAH OF THa HeAT CaPZ
ALeX BeCKERS
[slash] wrestling

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[1] Okay, so here's the deal. Back in like, November or December, Viscera splashed one of the ho's, and she did a stretcher job if I remember correctly. Then, a couple months later in January (first Heat of Jan 2000 actually), there was this three-way feud between Godfather, Vis, and Gangrel going on. In the backstage area, a bald ho wouldn't go out to the Godfather's match with Vis because of "what he did to poor Strawberry". (Later the bald ho got bloodbathed)

THEN, in CRZ's Smackdown report, he quoted a reader who wrote in to say that the ho who won the Hardcore Championship was that same ho -- aka Bobcat, currently under developmental contract.

SO, THEREFORE, Bobcat's current nom de wrestling in the WWF is "Strawberry".