Shut up Shaq.

wwf open

there are moments when time stands still (like TODAY, waiting for this show) WM promo (0:55)

intro

WELCOME TO WRESTLEMANIA! Houston! Astrodome! Lookit all those people - hey, nice mask.

Someone dressed Tazz and Michael Cole up - look at ALL THOSE PEOPLE. Wow. Anyway, Rock. Austin. People from all 50 states and many countries are here - but you're not.

Let's start of with the Regal/Jericho hype. Here's your video package. (1:05)

Commissioner Regal is in his office - talking to a picture of the Queen. "It's a wonderful day to be Commissioner Regal, but more so, it's a wonderful day to become IC champion."

Here are some "Axess" (I thought there were more x's then that) highlights. I betcha they don't show the Lo Down Interview. Foley scalps tickets! Someone spent $200 on a Mr. Socko. Kane talks. Someone eats Pie with the Rock. There's Spike Dudley! I thought he was 'on the shelf'. HEY ESSA WRESTLING (and also Jerry Lynn)! Lots of fans are happy and/or from strange and unusual places. Benoit says this is what it's all about. Steph say it's about bring the WWF to the fans. Al offers free hugs. JR wishes they had something like this when he was growing up. Austin says he's back and that's the bottom line. (2:30)

Wrestlemania is tonight. No way! Way! MY WAY! CHECK OUT MY MELODY!

There's the Astrodome. Here's the sponsors. Here are your announcers, and they'd like to talk about the Women's Title match - is Chyna 100%? Does she need to be to win? Let's look back at this storied feud. It's funny how they still can't find an angle that make it look like Ivory actually added impact to that piledriver. (1:02) We talk about the release and but also mention what Chyna let some of us know last night on Axess - "None of RTC, besides Ivory, will be allowed at ringside." (:50)

Stone Cold. The Rock. Wrestlemania.

Classic WM moment: Iron Skeik and Nikailah Volkoff get a little help from Freddie Blassie's cane to win the WWF Tag Team Belts all the way back at WM1. Who's the blond guy?

Backstage, Lillian Garcia tries to get a word with the Bushwackers. No thank you. They have had sardines and they do lick Lillian, who seems  permanently scared. Here's a look at the lineup one more time.

Over at WWFNY - Freddie Blassie, Afa of the Wild Samoans and Cap. Lou Albano are hanging out. Blassie says Iron Sheik for the match. Afa picks Kamala. Albano takes Hillbilly Jim. Albano seems ready to take on someone right now.

Moving on, Tazz is fired up - he's got that six man tag match with APA against the RTC. He's ready.

Cole talks about some of the other stuff this week - a pep rally at Fort Hood, TX. Lita, totally out of context: "Each one of us get our own Hummers." Anyway, a good time appeared to have a good time. Oh, wait, not Kurt. Kurt doesn't want the plaque - he wants a medal. The Army had fun having (the rest of them) there, and they were happy there and that's all. (2:58)

WM is NEXT.

Dudleyz and Hardys and Canadianz, oh my. Anyway, the Hardys were signing autographs and Kevin Kelly was rude and interrupted them. This is a two year culmination, and it's gonna end tomorrow. This may be the last time - will the three teams be the same?

Speaking of Axess, Triple H was signing autographs too. That's a weak segue into Triple H/Taker hype, but we do that anyway. Oh, here's the footage Cole wanted to throw it to - Undertaker ended being in the area, and he wanted to go some revenge right then. And they went it at right there at the autograph booth.. I think Taker got the best of it, really laying into to Triple H, and knocking him over a fence. Triple H ran for the hills. (1:04)

Yesterday, in the Astrodome, Triple H was in a photo shoot, when that nosy Kevin Kelly bugged him. Is he ready? Of course he's ready. He's never been more ready for anything in his life. He is the game, don't play him.

The Lugz Eddie Tapping Out to Benoit's Crossface, then Benoit tapping out to Angle's anklelock.

Hey, speaking off, there's Kevin Kelly talking to Chris Benoit - He is the best technician the world has ever known. All the crap that comes out of Angle's mouth means nothing - he will make Angle tap.

It's the anklelock vs the crossface. Tazz takes Benoit. Did Cole just call him Kirk? Also, Shane vs Vince (and that gets a pop - maybe it's for Mick Foley's face? That's denial right there.) Here's a video package. (2:30)

Backstage, Vince (boos) looks at monitor. And that's it.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome your Play By Play announcer for WM X-Seven - Jim Ross." Tazz leaves Michael Cole - he's got to go get ready himself. Cole with a little hype - and, whoa, match.

Grandmaster Sexay and Steve Blackman (W/Earlier Today) vs get back to me on that - Blackman is sick of dancing - his legs are made for kicking, not dancing. Sexay says the fans want him to get funky with the Grand Master. "I can't believe I'm gonna to do this." "Give me some dawg." Well, is this a match up or not? I guess not - they're just here to dance. Heyman is already out as color. And they're dancing. Never mind about the match - oh, wait, here's the interruption

Too Cheesey vs the X-Factor (w/Albert) - that's the official name. You don't interrupt someone dancing and get away with, so X-Factor gets beat as they get in the ring - double backdrop for Justin. Sexay with rights, in the corner, corner whip, reversed by X-Pac, dropped right into the Bronco Buster, but X-Pac misses. Sexay up to the second rope, bulldog. Justin providing the distraction, Sexay providing the dancing, Albert provides the clothesline. X-Pac puts on the Goggles - spin heel kick connects. Turnbuckle shot, tag to just, kick, kick, kick, right, turnbuckle shot, kick to the back, kick to the back, Sexay grabs the ropes but Justin pulls him into the powerbomb for 2. Tag to X-Pac, right, kick, kick by X-Pac, kick by X-Pac, right, chop, right, Sexay is fighting back with the power of the X-Pac sucks - oops, ran into the spinning kick. Tag to Justin - double whip, double clothesline is ducked, Sexay's hit. Can he make the tag? Yes. Blackman in, ducking the clothesline from X-Pac, here's a kick for him, kick for Justin, running shoulderblock for X-Pa, elevated shot for Justin. Albert (off camera) tries to come in and gets caught crotched on the top rope by Sexay. Sexay knocks him out of the ring, but Albert manages to pull Sexay out, and Blackman doesn't see the double superkick coming. X-Pac covers and that's the win. (2:45) I should note X-Pac's new black and blue tights. I should. X-Factor walks out. Here are your announcers: Paul Heyman and Jim Ross. They will talk about the main event some more. Did Ross actually call him the "Bionic Redneck?"

One more time, Rock and Austin.