|WWF Sunday Night Heat by The Cubs Fan||
Backstage, Steve Blackman tells Grandmaster Sexay how deadly serious he is about...commentating on Heat tonight. Sexay says that they're on MTV, so they have to pump it up.
WWF NY! Heat! Lots of military people in on Memorial Day. Tonight, we hear from Triple H about his condition, plus the APA takes on Justin Credible and Albert. And Steve Blackman and Grandmaster Sexay out later. But now...
the one Billy Gunn (w/WWF the Music Volume 4) vs Hardcore Champion the Big Show (w/Last Monday) in a non-title match - Show is slower to the ring than usual. Show tries to charge Billy before the match, but Gunn sees him coming (shocking!) and moves out of the way, then lays in with the rights. Tazz says Big Show is 10'4" and 6000 pounds. Show pushes Gunn away and tries a clothesline but Billy ducks and goes back to punching. Whip, no reversed into an over the shoulder slam. Chop to the chest. Right to the head. Headbutt. Show yells and spits. Slow knee drop. Gunn gets to his knees, punches, but gets a headbutt to stop that. Knee. Knee. Corner whip, charge (well not really) in and eats a boot. Gunn charges out and into a (I guess it was supposed to be a) side belly to belly suplex. Show signals for the elbow drop, off the ropes, elbowdrop misses. Rights by Gunn, off the ropes, cross body but Show catches him and sets up for the Final Cut (Cole: "Show Stopper") but Billy Gunn manages to counter and fall behind, waistlock, Show to the ropes and pushes back, Gunn rolls to the mat, but gets up and dropkicks Show (kinda). Gunn with punches in the corner but he's pushed down - I want to tell you that I'm feeling even more sick right now and I really really want this match to be over - Show with a clothesline but it's ducked, kick by Gunn, whip, reversed, Show with his head down too soon, and Gunn hits his first non-strike of this 2.5 minute match, a DDT. Cover one two kickout. Gunn signals for the Fameasser and waits for Show to get up (Gunn's not too bright), off the ropes and right into the goozle. Chokeslam. One two three. (2:51)
Tazz and Cole show us the New York Times - specifically Mick Foley being #1 on the best sellers list. Tazz credits it to the part on 116 about Tazz. Coming up, an update on Triple H.
Sailors from the USS JFK from Jacksonville, Florida are in WWFNY. So are Grandmaster Sexay and Steve Blackman, so let's introduce them. Sexay says that Scotty Too Hotty, or "Cajan Koolade" is one month away - "and then Too Cool will be reunited, and it'll feel so good!" Steve Blackman figured that if Michael Cole can commentate, anyone could, so he's going to try. Sexay says Shane and him talked a while back, but not about WCW. Blackman hasn't talked to him about that either. About Trish, Blackman says she realized that "Lethal Weapon" has multiple meanings. Sexay talks about the size of Blackman's penis. Cole asks how these two ended up together - didn't it happen on a Smackdown that Cole was announcing? "He might look like a white man, but he dances like Blackman!" That doesn't really answer the question. Sexay steals from Michael Hayes and dubs his partner Boogie Woogie Blackman. Cole mentions Blackman getting a good view of Trish doing the Worm. "Sometimes, life is good." Sexay says it was less a Worm and more a Fish Out Of Water. But he's going to work on it with her.
Coming up next, an update on Triple H's injury.
Coming off the Tough Enough commercial, Tazz gets to talk it up. I wonder if they'll do like CBS and Survivor and have that week's loser end up interviewed on Heat? Maybe by Tazz, even.
Crash (w/Heat Logo and Hardcore Holly but no Molly or last name) vs TAKA (w/flags and new tights and Funaki but no last name) - That Heat Logo wasn't supposed to be there. Tazz saying "britches" gets partially muted - I guess someone thought he said that word minus and r, even though he clearly didn't and the offensive word wouldn't make the slightest bit of sense in the context it was said. His new shirt already has a hole in it, but I think he cut it in to look weird so that's okay. TAKA can't find his mic - oh there it is. Checking to see if it's working - it doesn't, so he starts. "Holly Cousins, this Memorial Day weekend, the only think your family will have to celebrate, is me, TAKA Michinoku, destroying you, ELROY, because I AM EVIIIIIIIIL! Hahahahahaha! Ahahahahaha! Hahahaha!" "inDEED!" TAKA and Funaki think to turn around to show the back of their shirts when Funaki says that, smooth. Circle, lockup, Crash with a waistlock, TAKA reverses into one of his own, hammerlock by Crash, armbar by TAKA, Crash rolls into one of his own, into a headlock, off the ropes, shoulderblock. Off the ropes, under, turn around and clothesline for TAKA. Whip, reversed, TAKA's clothesline misses and Crash hits a flying headscissors. Clothesline, Funaki on the apron, Crash swings and misses at him, Funaki ducks out of the way, and Crash turns back around into a spin kick. Referee Mike Sparks warns Funaki to stay on the floor. TAKA pus on a chinlock. TAKA lets go, double boot scrape. Chop drop to the throat. TAKA says that's it and goes to the top rope (to boos?), top rope axhandle gets dropkicked by Crash. Crowd gets behind Crash, which is weird because I thought Kaientai were the faces here but TAKA did do the boot scrap so who knows. Corner whip, charge in but TAKA gets up boot. TAKA charges out, TAKA misses a clothesline, Crash misses a clothesline, TAKA tries a back suplex but Crash lands on his feet, Crash tries a slam but TAKA lands on his feet, TAKA hits the Michinoku Driver! One Two Three! (2:03) Cole even notices how quick that was. Although unnoticed by the announcers, Crash's losing streak in lightheavyweight action continues to escalate - perhaps his bad mood will continue to rise in relation?
Tazz and Michael Cole talk about how Triple H got hurt. Tazz calls the Walls of Jericho "the Liontamer" but corrects himself.
Here's a Triple H injury package, with Triple H taking about how he felt when it happened. Lots of medical stuff here as they talk about his injury and then Triple H talks about it more. (4:09) Later, results of the surgery.
Kurt Angle and Shane and the third time I've seen this video package in the last four hours. (1:55) What kind of reaction will Kurt Angle get in Canada? Or Benoit and Jericho. Hey, it's Too Cheesey again, because Steve Blackman is gonna commentate on the next match. Later on, Triple H's surgery.
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Blackman again says if these two can do it, he can do it. Tazz says he's still trying to get the hang of it. Sexay says that's right, he's been watching the show. Tazz laughs and says the same applies to Sexay's dancing. Sexay laughs.
X-Factor (w/o X-Pac) vs APA - Cole says that X-Pac is watching this match, but wanted to see how his two protégés would do without him. Cole, Tazz and Blackman argue about commentating. Bradshaw and Albert lockup to start. Blackman: "Anything can happen in the WWF!" Bradshaw wins the lockup, pushing Albert into the ropes and hitting a knee. Whip, reversed, shoulderblock by Albert. Off the ropes and again. Sexay says that APA like a good beer, but he wants to see if he can switch them to malt liquor. Blackman: "Bradshaw is tougher than a two dollar turkey!" Whip, head down too soon, Bradshaw with a forearm to the head, Albert more irked than hurt. Albert jaws at Bradshaw, Bradshaw gets tired of not listening and goes off the ropes, big boot! Shot to Justin for more. "X-Pac's tougher than a three dollar cookie." Chop, chop, look at the announcers, corner whip, reversed, Albert charges in, then hits a clothesline. Tag to Justin, kick, Sexay is not impressed with Justin at all, whip, reversed, powerslam by Bradshaw. "That Bradshaw is quicker than a hiccup." Bradshaw is crawling for a tag - I guess he made it, because we were looking at the announcers instead and when we come back, Faarooq is in the ring and beating down Justin. Slam. Whip, Justin slides under and hits a dropkick. "He flies like a butterfly and stings like a hornet." Justin yells, right, right, tag to Albert, hold for a right, I think a headbutt (looking at Blackman who was looking at his notes.) Right, shot to the back, slam. Right. "Well, that had to hurt!" Off the ropes, right into a spinebuster. Race to tag again - Bradshaw gets it, and a big boot for Justin. Whip, shoulderblock. Whip, clothesline is ducked, Justin tries a cross body but he gets caught - blockbuster suplex. "That Justin is quicker than a three legged turtle." Tazz cheats from Blackman's notes: "Now that's attitude." Back suplex, cover one two Albert breaks it up, Faarooq is in after him. Faarooq knocks him out of the ring ("The mood is changing"), whip by Justin on Bradshaw, reversed, head down too soon, Justin kicks him, Bradshaw stands up and clotheslines the crap out of him. Double team powerbomb, Faarooq covers one two three. (4:04) "An eye for an eye." Sexay wonders if APA can dance. I think we found out once that they couldn't. Coming up later, footage of surgery. Blackman: "I'll be waiting for my bonus check."
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Back on the set, Cole asks if he's Sexay's homey. Sexay says yes, but not like that. Tazz: "Do you got to scream in the mic like that?" Blackman says that Benoit and Jericho are great champs, but they haven't fought them yet. Sexay gives "the Canadian Connection" props for winning the belts, because they worked long and hard, but it's just a matter of time before they win them. Cole segues into the video package of the surgery.
You know, I was watching this with Mike, and he was bugged that they didn't attribute the injury to Jericho's Walls of Jericho or any action in the match where someone could take credit for it and they could more readily build towards a future program, instead of something like this where it's a just freak injury and no one can really use it. I made the point that they wanted to illustrate how real the injury was, for a variety of reasons, and to do that, they couldn't do treat it like it was Owen Hart's broken arm - they had to treat it like a completely real sports injury. And right when I got Mike to believe me, Steph shows up in the video package and shoots it all to heck. (Then again, they probably wanted some WWF person to say whatever lines needed to be filled in, since Triple H had better things to do.) Also, Triple H keeps Essa Rios down again by getting severely injured so Essa's match with Jerry Lynn could get bumped from the show. That boy is an evil genius. (1:50)
Tazz remarks that it wasn't a moonsault or something crazy Triple H was doing that got him hurt - it was just a freak thing, but it shows how dangerous the business is. And now, Grandmaster Sexay and Steve Blackman will dance. Grandmaster brings up some kids on stage to dance too. Many of them can dance better than Blackman. Sexay dances his way out.The Cubs Fan
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