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WWF Sunday Night Heat by The Cubs Fan




Two Years Ago On Heat: CRZ watches a whole bunch of hype for SummerSlam - Jeff Jarrett and Debra seem to break up and Shane McMahon attacked Test to weaken him up for their Greenwich Street Fight later on that night. Mankind, Chris Jericho, Billy Gunn, the Rock and Stone Cold all have various things to say. Triple H and Chyna might have wanted to say something, but they get cut off by the end of the show.

Booker T. The Rock. Stone Cold. Kurt Angle. 


WWF SummerSlam is Tonight! The Compact Center! San Jose, CA! LIVE! Michael Cole and Al Snow are high! (above the ring.) It's yet another pivotal battle! Eight big matches! Seven are Alliance vs WWF! That's a cage! DDP and Kanyon vs Undertaker and Kane! Here's a graphic! SummerSlam is so intense, every sentence should end in an exclamation mark! Here is a video package. (2:10) Both tag team titles are on the line, if that floats your boat. We're reminded that the Undertaker could care less about the titles and so should we. 

By the way, before Raw is War, Mick Foley hosts Robot Wars: Extreme Warriors. Please check it out.

Coming up, exciting video packages about the Rock and Booker T and Stone Cold and Kurt Angle. If we have time, we'll squeeze in a match- Stacy, Torrie and Ivory vs Lita and Jackie.

Nothing Wrong With Me (6)

SummerSlam is moments away, and on it, you will see Stephanie McMahon (w/Rhyno) vs Chris Jericho. Al says Jericho's been making a boob out of Stephanie for years. (1:25) SummerSlam is minutes away. Stephanie will be there, so why don't you be there?

Lita talks on her cell phone. Stacy asks Lita if she really thinks the WWF girls have a chance vs the Alliance girls, which only a distraction so Torrie can (miserably) sneak attack - right blocked, Lita hits hers, Stacy's right blocked, Lita hits hers. Lucky for the Alliance, Ivory actually knows what she's doing - there's a clip to take out Lita's left leg. Torrie holds out Lita's left leg so Ivory can kick her in hamstring, and the WCW girls trash talk before leaving Lita laying. It's kinda sad when the Alliance feels the need to take out someone when it's already a 3-2 handicap match, but it is Stacy and Torrie, so Ivory needs all the help she can get. If you feel I'm overthinking this, just pretend I drooled over all four girls and we'll all be happy.

Moments ago, it was a setup. Sure was. Cole wonders if the match will even happen now. 

RC Hardcore Title Change of Last Monday.

This sets up this graphic. You can hear the fans react to the graphic.

Segue to Tough Enough (2:20) Al says this week was more like the real world than any other week so far - the relationships and the injuries. We're down to six, and Mick Foley is this week's guest.

Slim Jim Shocking Tazz Turn

Cole cannot believe that they're just 30 minutes away from SummerSlam. Or that Tazz turned. Cole's a pretty gullible person - Al calls him on believing about the Tazz turn! Let's see his match with Angle. (2:55) If Angle hooks in that anklelock, he's bringing that title home. Stone Cold vs Kurt Angle, tonight! WWF Title on the line! Only on Pay Per View!

Lita and Matt Hardy are in the trainers room. Lita says she's fine - she figured they'd try something like this. Matt asks her if she's gonna be able to go and she thinks she can. The Trainer say she shouldn't - her knee is swollen. Matt: "Wrestling is not the most important thing in life" - huh? Matt points out that Jeff has a ladder match and he's gonna be banged up - they don't need two people hurt. Here's some ice for Lita's knee. Lita's frustrated.

I hope I'm wrong about how's going next - I'll be bummed out to the max.

Nothing Wrong With Me (7)

Kane, Sara and Undertaker have arrived and Coach gets a word. "No place to run to, no place to hide!" Cole talks about that, then goes back to the Lita injury - will Jackie be forced to go 3 on 1? We are 25 minutes away from SummerSlam - and the return of the People's Champion to PPV. Here's how we got here. (2:53)

Shane McMahon and Booker T have arrived - Lillian Garcia looks for a word. Booker T's hugging the belt, and apparently, Lillian should've made an appointment if she wanted to talk to Booker. Shane will be happy to flap his gums. Oh, wait, Booker T will address his people. There go the glasses - "Finnaly the Book has come back to SummerSlam!" "Excuse me, Booker T, but this is your first SummerSlam, so how could you be coming back?" Booker T and Shane discuss if Lillian just said that.

Cole thinks Booker T seems insecure, bringing up how tightly he holds the belt. Al channels the Rock and says tonight's his chance to prove what he claims. Coming up next - that handicap match! Al's money is on Jackie, regardless.

Nothing Wrong With Me (8)

The Rock is here. 

Al says he can't wait till SummerSlam - lots of great matches. Let's send it to Paul Heyman and Jim Ross to call all the action, who say it's gonna be a big night. The Rock returns to PPV.

Ivory, Stacy Keibler & Torrie Wilson vs Jackie in a handicap match - Ivory's (new? - I don't remember any more) music and updated video introduce the Alliance team.  They need to work on their synchronized posing. Stacy wears long pants which doesn't seem to make sense to me. Ivory talks strategy as Paul plugs the sponsors. Ivory helpfully points out that it's 3 of them against only Jackie, and here she is. Jackie runs (bounces) out alone, so I guess it's on. She probably shouldn't have slid in the ring like that, because it leaves her well open for Torrie and Stacy to stomp down Jackie while Ivory urges them on (from a safe distance.) With Jackie well beat, Ivory picks her up and whips her nito the corner - shoulder. Now Stacy and Torrie are back over with the double kicks as Ivory coaches them. The crowd yells - it's Molly Holly to save the day! Ivory gets spun around, big forearm. Forearm for Torrie. Stacy tries a clothesline and she gets a forearm too. Ivory charges and gets backdropped to the floor, hard. Molly quickly checks Jackie, who's hurting but using the ropes to pull herself up, and goes out after Ivory. Ivory's thrown back in - SPEAR! Jackie rains in the fists to Ivory's head, and she has to be pulled off. Ross and Heyman haven't pointed out that Ivory turned by attacking Jackie and that may be why Jackie's ticked, so I will. Ivory is trying to crawl for a tag but Jackie pulls her back. Single leg crab! Ivory took out Lita's left leg, so Jackie's taking on Ivory's right. Torrie and Stacy are standing on the floor instead of in the corner for some reason. Ivory gets the ropes and a break - Torrie's finnaly up on the apron. Ivory up but limping, right missed, Jackie's doesn't, right, right. Corner whip, sidewalk slam, cover for one two kickout. Ivory tries a right, blocked and Jackie hits a right right whip, head down too soon and Ivory kicks it - faceslam. Pause, cover one two kickout. Forearm to the back. Forearm. Forearm. Choke on the ropes, whip, reversed right into a Jackie clothesline. Jackie covers - oh, how convenient that Stacy has been standing around on the floor at that spot for a minute and a half, because she can now pull out Jackie when she tries a cover. Stacy proclaims her innocence to the ref and the fans, but Molly's in the ring and pulling Stacy up by the hair to the apron. Torrie is over to clothesline Molly, but Molly sees Torrie coming and clotheslines her. Meanwhile, Ivory has Jackie, waiting till they think the camera's back on them, whip, back kick. Ivory is proud of herself for that - here comes Lita, limping but hurrying to the ring. While the ref tries to get Molly out of the ring - Twist Of Fate! She's out and Jackie's covering one two three (Pie) Torrie and Stacy saw Lita come in, saw Jackie cover Ivory, looked at each other, looked at the ring and did nothing. All sorts of not good stuff. Jackie, Molly and Lita are announced as the winners - but Ivory promises it's not over. Molly and Jackie help Lita limp towards the back, as Paul gets into the ring - 

Paul: "Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it, time-Ivory, time out, Ivory, come back in here! Wait a minute! Time out! I think everyone here tonight has witnessed a robbery on international television. And I think the three of you will agree with me that everyone here is a witness to this crime!"
Ivory: "We've been ripped off! Who was in this match, anyway?" 
Paul: "You tell me!"
Ivory: "Why was Molly Holly here?" 
Paul: "This was supposed to be - and correct me if I'm wrong, cause I never am - a three on two contest."
Ivory: "It was three on three! Hello! We were ripped off! We want a rematch! We want a rematch! Three against Three! Tomorrow night! We'll take on the WWF bimbos." [the WCW women high five]
Paul: "So if it's supposed to be three on two, and it ends up three on three, it's my opinion - and I think you'll agree with me - that victory doesn't count. They never won, correct?"
Ivory: "Correct! We are the Alliance! We will prevail! Number One! The Alliance Rocks!" [raise hands in victory]
Paul: "Well, I think we have now established the fact that match, quite simply, that match just didn't count? JR, wouldn't even you agree with me on this?"
JR: "No I wouldn't, quite frankly. Not really, Paul."
Paul: "What do you mean, no?"
JR: "You asked my opinion, I'm telling you" [so interested, looks over his notes]
Ivory: "Next match, JR, we want a WCW referee!"
JR: [couldn't care any less] "Well, in any event, the issue of the night" blah blah blah hype. Play Ivory's music. Ivory's lines would have worked better if Paul wasn't pulling away the microphone in mid sentence. And if Paul (and the crowd) could actually hear what JR was saying. I don't know why Paul made such a big deal about this match not counting - it's not like Heat matches usually do.

The Rock returns to PPV - Paul Heyman returns to the desk. JR patiently waits for him to stop talking so he can go back to talking about whatever JR wanted to talk about (and totally ignore Paul's existence on this planet) - Stone Cold vs Kurt Angle will work. (3:21)

And that's it.

The Cubs Fan
[slash] wrestling

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