TV PG LV

Last Monday - let's recap Torrie and Stacy's problems. I don't get why people had problems with the "tall" and not also the "handsome" part of the description. I guess Ivory got distracted by Hurricane and Storm and forget that she was supposed to be mentoring these two. (:55) 

Now, live (in the arena), Torrie is checking her hair in a mirror. There's the big mixed that match tonight - but first, Stacy will swoop in and steal the valuable mirror space. "Hi Torrie doesn't my hair look good today? Yours [messes with Torrie's curled hair] looks...okay, anyway, I was just coming to tell you, that we've been such good friends and been together for so long, I, uh, really don't want to go out there and have to beat you up tonight. So, I'm gonna give you one chance ["one" finger motion] to back out of the match tonight, since you and your little man that you're going out with, you won't get embarrassed and nothing will happen, one last chance to back out, what do you say?" "Aha. You know what Stac, I really appreciate it, that is so sweet of you, what a good friend you are, but let me think about this for a second." Pause. SLAP! Stacy didn't see it coming. Smashed into the table, Thrown to the ground. How the heck are the Hebners (Earl and Brian) there that fast? They must've been hiding somewhere. The girls still want each other but they're being pulled apart. Stacy starts yelling that she's got Torrie but it seemed like that was Torrie's line.

Open.

LIVE, NY, WWFNY, blah blah blah. Al Snow and Michael Cole are talking about what a slap that was. Al: "Things are getting so hot in here, we had they sent in the Marines!" No one can wait for that mixed tag [graphic: Tazz/Stacy Keibler vs Tajiri/Torrie Wilson] so we'll hold it off for a quite a while. Also, a rematch from Unforgiven - Raven vs Saturn! I bet all the people who bought the PPV just for that match are really sad now. Also, Tommy Dreamer is our special guest, but let's head to the ring.

Lance Storm (w/Ivory) vs the one Billy Gunn - Cole thinks this is a "unique pair" - see, usually Storm ends up with females who are quite, um, well quite like Mr. Gunn over there. Where is Stone Cold? When will he show up? Will he show up tonight? Ha. Al says he's MIA so someone should ask Hugh haha actually that's kinda lame. Circle, Storm goes for the legs but Gunn moves away. Lockup, no one's giving, so they break. Lockup, Gunn with an armbar, twisting, hammer, headlock, Lance with a foot to the back of the inside leg to take Gunn down to one knee and reverse the headlock. Gunn tries to break, reversing, pushing Lance down and putting on an armbar. Lance has little problem getting to the rope for a break, but Gunn gets him in the corner - clean break, no Lance with a kick. Right, right blocked Gunn hits his. Jabs, kick, jab, corner whip, charge, Lance gets a boot up. Off the ropes, under a clothesline, right into the the tilt-a-whirl powerslam, one two kickout. Clothesline and Lance is out. Gunn wants after him but Nick Patrick holds him back - now Storm spits at Gunn and Gunn is forcing his way out. Storm running, Gunn following, Storm in, Gunn tries to get back in but Ivory grabs a leg when he gets on the apron and Storm clotheslines him down. With Gunn down on the apron, Storm twists the right leg around the second rope. Now kicking the right knee. Knee to knee. Pulling Gunn into the middle of the ring, and an elbow drop to the right knee. Gunn tries to get in and eye rake but Lance goes back to knees on the knee. Gunn keeps trying to swipe the eyes or anything to get Lance to back off, but Lance continues to work the right knee, with knee shots and elbow drops. Lance eventually backs off, lets Gunn stand out, and kicks his bad leg out from under him. Pulling the knee. Knee smash into the mat. "USA" chant.  Putting Gunn in the corner and leg over the second rope, but Lance leaves himself to exposed for punches and Gunn takes advantage. Corner whip, back elbow on the rebound. Clothesline. Clothesline. Cover one two kickout. Whip, backdrop. Loading up for the Fameasser - no, Storm grabs the (right, injured) leg in mid air and puts on the half crab - Gunn has no choice but the give and give quick. (3:35) That Lance, he's a smart man.  Also, Ivory's interference kinda set this match all up - hey, let's watch a replay and some of Lance's work, leading up to that finish. If only Gunn had a way to counter Ivory.  

Tommy Dreamer (w/WWFNY security) is in the building. Al says he's an old buddy from ECW and he's looking forward to seeing him. Al blames Cole for all the bad luck they've had with Alliance people. Also, mixed tag, later. And Raven and Saturn. 

Tommy's on the cell. "Yo, this place is amazing! They have everything - video games, merchandise. I'll try to get you a t-shirt, but come on, it's my first night in, I don't want to make waves or anything. Wait, excuse me." Why am I transcribing? Anyway, here's a crew-type dude wondering if there's anything he wants but he says no. Until he finds out it's on the house - shrimp cocktails. Oh, the guy is a big Tommy Dreamer fan. And now he's back on the phone and inviting everyone to come over. Also, he says extreme. I'm supposed to care about that.

Al and Michael remind me I'm supposed to care about that extreme comment - will more Alliance people show up? Let's recap the slap. Let's watch it again! That will be later. Also Raven/Saturn. 

Back in the arena, Tajiri (w/taped ribs) is warming up. Tajiri is doing kicking so Al drops Steve Blackman's name - that's nice of him. Torrie runs in and she wants revenge already. She wants Tajiri to take Tazz out of it so she can have Stacy all to herself. That would seem to be the sane strategy. If Tajiri does that, he gets Torrie all to himself tonight. Big kiss - hey, you can see the underside of Torrie's breast when she does that. Of course, you can see most of it through her shirt anyway so I don't know. Another kiss. They're both really fired up now. He wants to go get Tazz now, I think, but Torrie reminds him that she hasn't changed yet. 

Both hosts are still worried that Austin might show up any time, but we bring up the Marines again as protection and everyone is happy to see them here. Also, mixed tag match. Moving on.

Mike Awesome vs Spike Dudley - Coming after Sunday Night Heat, Ozzie Ozborne's new video. I don't care. Spike is still wearing the Little Show outfit and is "putting on a good face despite what happened to Molly [clips here]." Lockup, no Awesome with a kick, right, whip, clothesline is ducked, shoulderblock is not. Off the ropes, over, Spike tries a Thesz Press but he's caught and tossed with a belly to belly. Corner whip, Spike going in so hard that he hits the mat hard. Awesome yells at him to get up. Whip, no Spike holds the top rope, so Awesome kicks him, whip, clothesline is ducked, Spike with a waistlock and Awesome knocks him loopy with a back elbow. There's a big German suplex. Awesome picking up dead weight Spike, telling the crowd is over, Awesomebomb? No, Spike with punches, then a headscissors that takes everyone out. Spike on the apron - cross body onto Awesome, but Awesome catches him and rams him back first into the steel post. Thrown back first into the stairs. Cole has been handed an announcement - Kane, Undertaker and Chris Jericho vs Rob Van Dam, Booker T and Test on Raw tomorrow. Spike thrown back in, Awesome causally coming back in. Spike trying to get up - clothesline takes him back down. Okay, now he'll try the running Awesome Bomb, but Spike slips behind, kick to the gut, DUDLEY DOG NO AWESOME CHUCKS HIM but in the ring. This match seems incredible familiar, now that I think about it. There's the Awesome Bomb. One foot cover - one two SHOULDER UP! Awesome's annoyed now. Spike placed in the corner, Awesome going up - SUPER AWESOME NO SUPER 'RANA! Spike falls on top, one two three. (3:14) Spike got like three moves in. That wasn't that great of a 'rana. Still, okay. Awesome can't believe it and Spike need help to the back but he won so that's all that really matters. MIXED TAG! Raven and Saturn!

SCARY DDP from RAW.

Lugz Unforgiven Rematch Of Thursday.

That's a weird stretch, RVD. Hey, it's X-Pac's Favorite Wrestler! "Hey, RVD, I was looking for you!" "For me?" "Yea." "What's up?" "You notice how they've been treating me in the WWF lately?" "Yea." "They make me fight the commissioner, like I'm really going to beat the commissioner, my pay would go down the toilet! They make me fight the Big Show - I'm a double champ! Cruiserweight/light heavyweight champion, man! That guy has to lose at least three hundred pounds to fight me!" "Well, yea, good point, but why you telling me?" "Well, that's what I was gonna get at. You're like the most popular guy in the Alliance, you know." "Probably, yea." "Shane and Stephanie, they, they, they really loved me you know, and I thought, maybe, you know, you could kinda put in a word for me and let them know that I'm interested in that kind of move. I dunno, what do you think?" "Uh, I mean, I think if you've got a beef with the way you're treated and Shane and Stephanie love you so much, call them up yourself, you know! Work on this negative vibe you're putting off. Maybe-" "What do you mean, negative? And, wait, what's the big deal about RVD man? 'RVD RVD'? I'm pretty damn good too, you know? I know how to do all this [makes random martial arts motions] too, you know?" "I know, but I mean, you're X-Pec [sic] and I'm [thumb pointing] Rob Van Dam. Hehe." X-Pac stomps off in anger. Hey, RVD, the kid was just trying to reach out, he was trying to get some help, and you had to be mean and shut him down. I think poor ol' X-Pac is just misunderstood, that's all.

Al and Cole talk about this and the match on RAW. Will Stone Cold show up? Will the Dudleyz have to deal with the Rock and Angle? Speaking of Thursday, let's go back to the last Tough Enough. (2:36) Al is proud of all five kids, but couldn't be happier for Maven and Nidia. Tough Enough 2 is starting soon - Friday is the submission deadline. Cole stuns me by calling Maven "Rick" for a moment. 

Raven (w/Terri) vs Perry Saturn - We go back and see Moppy's death again. We're reminded of Raven going to RVD for advice after losing to Saturn, and RVD telling Raven to go back to being the old Raven. The old Raven involves a skirt and stomping Saturn as he slides in the ring. Right by Raven misses, Saturn with the Exploder. Whip, back elbow and Raven goes out. Saturn is going to - corner springboard clothesline to the outside. Saturn's right arm hits the wall and he holds it getting back up. Raven thrown in, Saturn rolls in to follow - Raven with the Mr. Wrestling #2 kneelift and Saturn goes back out. Russian Legsweep Into The Barricade. Raven throws Saturn in, follows in, corner whip, rebound clothesline. Gong up  - second rope clothesline! One tow kickout. Whip, reversed, Saturn with his head down too soon, Raven with a kick, clothesline and cover for one two kickout. Cobra clutch! Saturn down to a seated position and Raven has it locked on. One arm drop. Two arm drop. Third arm, no. Saturn up to his feet, elbow, elbow, corner whip, reversed, Saturn gets an elbow up and armdrags Raven down. Big right, clothesline, off the ropes, leapfrog, superkick by Saturn. Saturn takes a moment to look at the crowd - belly to belly suplex. Cover one two kickout. Terri up on the apron, Saturn looks at her and Raven rolls him up, one two kickout. Saturn with a whip, reversed, Mr. Wrestling #2 kneelift, no Saturn with a single leg cradle one two kickout. Saturn with a right, Raven ducks it, Saturn follows his momentum to the ropes, springboard forearm (I'm guessing) but Raven connects with a back elbow first. Raven with the catapult, but Saturn manages to land on the second rope, turn around and hit a sunset flip, one two no Saturn pulls him up (Raven might have gotten a shoulder up anyway) to do the thumb point and slingshot Raven into the corner Moppy might have occupied. Terri again up, Saturn reaches for her but she backs away, kick wham Raven Effect (3:52) Raven evens the score from Invasion and Raven and Terri are very happy.

Tommy and his friends are not paying attention to Cole and Al and are chowing down on as much free food as they can get a part of. Tommy doesn't appreciate Al's jokes. Again, Tommy rather pig out on the free food rather than come down to talk, but then Al annoys him and now Tommy wants to have a word with Al. He's even passing up the free food.

Backstage at the arena, Stacy talks. I'm not sure if Tazz actually is listening, but he is taping himself up. "Do you see these legs? These legs are nicely shaven and you know who's legs aren't shaven? Torrie Wilson. But you know what she should do? She should just shave her hair off! Have you seen that hair of hers? I mean, it's so dry and mine is just so beautiful. She looks like she's forty years old - I'm twenty one and everyone loves me! She's just so jealous of me, that everyone wants to go to the ring with me, because I am [points to word on her shirt] foxy. Hmm! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?" Tazz just looks at her, gets up [Stacy's scared now] and moves towards Stacy [Stacy backing away.] "I am going to BUST Tajiri up!" Tazz walks off. "[proud] I motivated you and inspired you!" Oh, wait, he didn't walk too far. "NO. You see, I would do anything to SHUT YOU UP." "Yummy! I like that!" I wonder if Tazz is still miffed about that time Tajiri pretended to join the Alliance but it was just a set-up to punk him out with Regal and have a match later. I think I know who's giving Stacy her acting lessons.

Slim Jim WCW Tag Team Title Switch Of The Week.

We're moments away from that big mixed tag, but first, here's Tommy! 
Al: "You made it!" 
Tommy: "I told you I had a problem with you, right? [Camera screw up here] Tazz was right - I've known you for a long time, right? How many years? And he was right - you've changed. You're definitely changed."
Al: "How have I changed?" 
Tommy: "Oh, every time I listen to the commentary, you make little jokes. Everything is a joke to you! Did you forget where you come from? I never did!" 
Al: "I did not either! 
Tommy: "You do Tough Enough, you just give contracts away, [Al trying to get a word in throughout] to Maven and Nidia. I know you're SO proud of them? Why don't you just expose this business, give a contract to everyone! It took me ten years to get a contract here! How long did it take you, Al? How many bones did you break to get here? Come on, now you've got a big break, now you're a big star, did you forget about everybody?"
Al: "No, I haven't forget about anything, and those kids worked hard and they earned what they're getting." 
Tommy: "Yea, and I didn't? You didn't? You just give [mute]t away?" 
Al: "I didn't give anything away, Tommy! Those kids worked for everything they got!" 
Tommy: "Yea, I know, they worked, and everything's a big joke." 
Cole: "C'mon guys-" 
Tommy: "Enough Cole, enough." 
Cole: "Will you come on, we don't need this here, c'mon, we got -"
BIG RIGHT from AL and DOWN GOES DREAMER. Security is quickly in and Al's convincing one guy that he's fine and doesn't need to be taken away, but it looks like Dreamer is done for the night. Did Dreamer say "I'll see you?" Again, this all Cole's fault - he IS the one who set up the distraction. "Al" chant.

Stacy & Tazz vs Tajiri & Torrie Wilson - As the first team comes out, Cole brings up Al's problem with Tazz. Also, they have both people's name on the same line in the graphic so it's like one person with an odd last name. Back to earlier tonight, where we had a slap. I think this footage is getting Al excited. Cole and Al debate who's fault this was. Tajiri and Tazz start. Lockup, Tazz with a waistlock, Tajiri with back elbows, off the ropes, sliding under Tazz, waistlock, reversed, German suplex, Tajiri lands on his feet, big thrust kick. Kick, corner whip, reversed, Tazz follows in and gets kicked, Tajiri runs out and gets a overhead belly to belly suplex. Stacy wants the tag. Tazz gives it to her. Stacy pretends to blow a kiss, goes for a slap, Tajiri ducks and tags out. Spear (kinda) and head smashing into the mat. Now Stacy on top and head smashing on her side. Pulling Torrie up by her hair - corner whip, kick, kick, kick, boot choke. Stacy may have the best boot choke. Corner whip, Torrie gets a kick up and then WOW what a dropkick to the back (Cole: "kick to the back"). Cover one two kickout. Stacy to the ropes to recover, Torrie pulls her back in to the middle in a rollup one two kickout. Stacy with a tag, Torrie quickly crawls to her corner, tag to Tajiri. Tajiri's right is ducked, kick is ducked, kick is caught, capture suplex. Big clothesline. Whip, Tajiri with the handspring but Tazz catches him in the Tazzmission - Stacy in, now she's rethinking that as Tazz moves her way - Tazz turns around into a big snapping kick one two three (2:26) Tajiri and Torrie celebrate and make fun of Stacy.

What will happen on RAW? Will Stone Cold show up? What will the Rock and Kurt Angle? Let's watch a replay of that punch and talk about that six man. That's it.