So, if you've seen the PPV ad, you've seen this opening - just change "Vengence" to "Tonight." 

Open. Hey, TV 14 DV we must be getting some interesting video packages.

LIVE! Let's look outside because most people are still waiting to get in. It's near empty inside, except strangely right around our Heat announcers, Michael Cole and Tazz. In the midst of hype, Cole lets us know that there are big developments with that main event (gee, I wonder if they'll be "there must be a winner") and also with Rob Van Dam/Undertaker match - RVD's Hardcore Title WILL be on the line. Let's look at how this happened.

Video package of turns and junk. You had to figure they'd make it no DQ somehow - how else is RVD gonna kick a chair in someone's face? (2:31) Hey, if RVD loses now, does that mean he's gone from the WWF? 

Rob Van Dam is doing the splits. Lillian Garcia tells him that his Hardcore Title is now up for grabs - will this help or hurt his chances? RVD says that's a good question. With the title, Undertaker will have even more reason to beat the crap out of him, and that's all Undertaker really wants to do. On the other hand, he's RVD. Lillian does the point with him (with her non-microphone hand) and RVD is cool with that - everyone's always wants to be like him.

Tazz talks about his experience being killed by the Undertaker. Here's that main event again.

Look, it's WWFNY. There are people there. Apparently no one important. You can watch the PPV there. Also, at www.wwf.com 

Coming up next, Smackdown clips.

Lugz Main Event Of Last Monday 

Smackdown clips. What was with the fart noises? What was with the Rock calling Jim Ross Jim Ross all the time? What? (3:15)

That's the (new) funniest thing Cole's ever seen. Tazz finds it funny too, but that Vince will make someone is going to pay. Big news on the main event coming up.

Outside. Now Creed. They're not outside. How is Booker T part of WWF Desire? Hey, Sean O'Haire. Nick Patrick! And on and on and on. They added shots to this, I think. Maybe. I don't really care. (3:03)

There's going to be a special Triple H video tonight during the show, like the WWF Desire stuff, but with U2's Beautiful Day. Tazz says everyone's anticipating Triple H's return, which probably hurts the odds of it happening tonight. Here's some graphic of the whole  - tag match, women's match (why are Cole and Tazz calling them tomatoes), IC Title, Hardcore Title, Hardyz (more later, we're told) and one undisputed champion. 

Triple H was on MadTV. Here's a behind the scenes bit that might have been on Excess. Or will be on Excess. A madTV guy explains the joke to us in case we don't get it. And then Bret Hart came on punched out Will Sasso and put him in the sharpshooter. Is this over yet? Oh, there's Will Sasso doing his Stone Cold Steve Austin. Didn't Sasso have hair before? Here's fans cheering to let you know that it was good. I guess I'm supposed to notice Triple H's Motorhead shirt. Won't this ever end? He's coming back. At some point. (4:20) That stuff was the funniest thing Cole's ever seen. Wait. 

Oh, the big news on the main event? All three matches, back to back to back. Austin/Angle first, Rock/Jericho next (lost the coin toss), final match immediately after that finish. No time to recover.

Late arriving crowd gets in the way of the camera. Hardys hype. Jeff looks insane in his graphic. Here's a recap of the Hardys life, to date. Survivor Series highlights show that this is all Jeff's fault. If he just admitted he was wrong (or even better, didn't do it) this would have been resolved all so much happier. (3:00) Cole wonders if Lita will remain impartial. So does Tazz.

The Coach is with Kurt Angle. He's in a good mood. He's going to become the Undisputed Champion. He goes first, beats Austin, relax while Rock and Jericho beat each other up, and clean up for the title. Coach is dumb.

APA vs Billy Gunn & Chuck Palumbo - I didn't think we were actually - oh wait, here's screwed up shot of Cole and Tazz leaving, instead of our ring announcers Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross - getting a match tonight, but this one makes sense based on the last couple weeks. Perhaps Gunn has permanently lost the one. Bradshaw and Palumbo lock up, Bradshaw with punches and kicks. Whip, back elbow. Head to the buckle, knee, forearm, chop, corner whip, charge in to Palumbo's boot - high dropkick. Cover one two no. Right. Whip, reversed, Bradshaw misses the Palumbo but hits the blockbuster suplex. Elbow for Gunn was he tries to come in. Tag to Faarooq, double whip, double shoulderblock, one two no. Slam. Off the ropes, falling headbutt. JR talks about the history of the World Title and Lawler talks about being AWA Title unifying the title and I'm all shocked. JR: "According to the historians, the worlds championship picture really started keeping score in 1905, and by 1932, as many four men claimed to be champion of the world-" Whip by Faarooq, reversed, Gunn gets in a forearm and Palumbo gets in a discuss punch. Korderas wanders over to yell at Bradshaw for no specific reason, allowing Gunn to come in for a double stomp down. Lawler: "Well, I know in 1988, JR, I was the AWA World champion and tried to have a match against Kerry Von Erich to try to unify the titles but that didn't include everyone, this is the first time that there's going to be one undisputed champion of the world." Palumbo did the fake tag hand clap in there. Faarooq pushed face first into a second rope turnbuckle and Gunn working over his back with kicks. JR: "Certainly by the 60s, the WWWF, the NWA and the AWA all recognized their own champions. As King mentioned, he was a AWA champion in the late 80s, and certainly at that time, King, the thought of having one undisputed champion was a very unrealistic goal, because the promoters aren't going to get along well enough and the athletes aren't going to get along well enough try to collaborate and have one undisputed champion." Lawler says the promoters couldn't get along enough to pick lunch, much less to have unification matches.. Tag to Palumbo more stomp down. Snap mare, chin lock. JR says it's guaranteed, tonight, that one man will be undisputed champion. Up to their feet, Faarooq elbows out but Palumbo pushes Faarooq down and covers him for one two no. JR is in the midst of telling us that Palumbo lives in San Diego as he runs right into the Faarooq spinebuster (that kills himself at the same time) and now it's a race for a tag. JR also can't resist telling us that Faarooq was an All American at Florida State and quickly adds that it was back when he was known as Ron Simmons. Tag to Gunn, tag to Bradshaw. Big boot for Gunn. Punch for Gunn. Big boot for Palumbo whip, powerslam one two no Palumbo breaks it up. Faarooq throws Palumbo out and they brawl on the outside. Inside, Gunn's manage to stop Bradshaw with a whip and now he slaps his thigh - off the ropes, Bradshaw is up and tries a clothesline, Gunn ducks. But not the second time - Clothesline from Hell, one two three. (3:45) And that ends that.

How we got here. (3:30) And that's that.