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WWF Sunday Night Heat by The Cubs Fan

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Two Years Ago, Alex Beckers watched Kurt Angle stay undefeated by beating Christian, with a little help from Steve Blackman, Jeff Hardy beat Prince Albert thanks to some help from Albert's former partner Big Bossman, Bubba's missed senton lead to a D'Lo win and a triangle IC Title match set up for the Rumble. In the big angle for the night, the Posse spends the whole night trying to catch up to Kaientai to weaken them up for their big main event tag match, but Kaientai accidentally tick off Tori (and Kane), leading to them being out of action, and the Posse accidentally tick of Rikishi, leading to Too Cool and Rikishi taking Kaientai's place and winning.

One Year Ago on UK Heat, Gav Duenas saw Kaientai challenge Too Cool to a match, then change their mind to dancing, then punk out Scotty and Grandmaster in the midst of the dance. Also, Ivory challenged Chyna for at Rumble for the Women's Title, Albert beats Crash but gets beat down by Hardcore Holly, and the APA beat the crap out of Lo Down after equal opportunity talk about Slurpees and taxis.

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Live! New York! Rumble Is Next Week! This Week Is Sunday Night Heat! 

Your announcers are (WWF Tag Team Champion) Tazz and Michael Cole.

albert & scotty 2 hotty vs crash and funaki - Even the graphics people refuse to acknowledge Cole's nickname. Albert has a red cap this week. Lots of stuff will happen - later. Crash and Funaki have another animated discussion on the way to the ring. WWF.com logo buzzes by. I guess they don't have anything to say this week. Funaki and Scotty start. Start the clap. Lockup, headlock, off the ropes, shoulderblock by Scotty. Celebrate, off the ropes, over, under, forearm to the back, delayed back suplex, kip up, moonwalk to Albert. Tazz thinks every tag match is important now - they could all be contenders to his title. Funaki doesn't see Albert in front of him till the last second and Albert scares him. Tag to Crash and Funaki goes to the floor. Crash marches up to Albert and yells at him about last year. Moving lockups bits. Albert stops up by a double leg takedown - giant swing! One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen Fourteen Fifteen SIXTEEN full rotations! As you'd expect, everyone is quite dizzy now. Funaki charges - and runs into Albert's back elbow. Tag to Scotty, who grabs his partner in a headlock, rubs the head, and Albert lifts him up and rams Scotty's feet into Crash's head. Dance. Whip, reversed, Funaki with a knee, Scotty with a SUPERKICK, Crash with a clothesline. Stomping. Scotty and Albert host RAW at WWF NY. More korner kicking. Front facelock, tag to Funaki. Corner smash, kickdown, boot choke. Tag to Crash. Scotty battling back with rights, Crash with a thumb to the eye. Whip, clothesline misses, reverse neckbreaker hits. Tag to Albert, right for Crash, right Funaki. Repeat. Albert with the dancing punches for both. Press slam for Funaki. Funaki's in position - off the ropes, two handed bulldog, it's TIME for Crash to throw him out of the ring. I think Scotty's supposed to pull himself back up but he's taking his time. Meanwhile, AlbertCornerSmash and now Scotty hits the Bulldog. W O R M one two three. (5:07)

Slim Jim Tag Team Title Change of Last Monday

Tazz and Cole talk about Vince vs Flair. Flair video package (1:08) Here's the graphic.

The Dudleyz and Stacy are, um, arriving at the arena. They make Stacy (nice cap) roll the luggage. And then they run into Sgt. Slaughter and ask him where the locker rooms are - he gets all huffy but tells them. Bubba apologizes and talks Slaughter up. Bubba does his Slaughter imitation and Slaughter does his Slaughter imitation. "You're scum, and you're slime." D-Von calls Slaughter "gomer" and that ticks him off more. Bubba holds back D-Von and again tries to calm things down - "easy, he's not the Iron Sheik!" "If it was the Iron Sheik, I'd give him a Slaughter Slam!, a Slaughter Cannon! and a Cobra Clutch!" Bubba asks him to relax - "breath! In through the nose, not through the mouth!" D-Von and Bubba start to leave (Stacy's blended in with the background at this point and is way away from everyone else) and Sarge starts making fun of them for losing the belts, what's with that? Bubba asks why he'd have to go there - Sarge says because they lost. "To a couple punks! A couple of maggots!" Sarge doesn't realize that Bubba's distracting him while D-Von steps behind - there's the forearm and the beatdown is in progress. You gonna join us Stacy? Thanks for at least reacting. Stomp stomp stomp. Bubba tells Slaughter to find a partner and they'll have a match. "At ease, maggot! Let's go Stacy." 

Moments Ago - If you ask me, Slaughter's a big idiot here and deserves the beatdown. Now, if you ask Cole, it was case of title loss rage. 

During the break, Sgt. Slaughter was up and dusting himself off (in another part of the arena?) when Perry Saturn shows up and they go chin to chin. Slaughter asks Saturn if he has problem too, Saturn says he has a problem with everything. Saturn shows him a coin - he's an Army Ranger, and he hates to see another Military man down and out, so he's offering to be his tag team partner. This gets even dumber. Saturn barks. Do or Die.

Our Special Guest Host is Spike Dudley. Spike is not wearing the same clothes as he did on Excess, that's a nice change. Spike makes fun of Cole for getting thrown up on. Tazz and Spike talk about how good it is to win the title. They were both in ECW, I never knew that. They have nothing in common - but Tazz got Spike his job in ECW. They know the Dudleyz better than anyone else, so why wouldn't they team up to beat the Dudleyz? Tazz has a SHOCKING idea - tag team title defense against the Dudleyz at the Rumble. Spike quiets his deep desire to be in the Rumble (as mentioned on Excess) and isn't scared of the Dudleyz. Cole offers to go club hopping with Spike and Tazz, but they both turn him down. Sad Michael Cole. I wonder if Kidman told Spike that gold gets the chicks.

Backstage, oh this is a cheap way to plug Kung Pow 

billy (w/chuck) vs WWF Cruiserweight Champion tajiri (w/torrie) in a non-title match - Billy has a seizure on stage - or are those supposed to be pelvic thrusts. I don't think I want to know. Billy does a sumo stance. Lockup, waistlock, Tajiri escapes. Kick to the back. Gunn with a horrible kick that's totally exposed. Turnbuckle smash. Jab. Corner whip, Gunn charges into a boot. Tajiri charges it - hard back thrust kick. Kick to the left thigh, right thigh, left thigh, off the ropes and flapjacked. Gunn tries to get the feeling back in his legs, cover one two no. Right right right. Tajiri thrown out and punched, then thrown back in. Hanging vertical suplex. Gunn takes his time covering one two no. Stomp. Slam. Ticket sales in LA somehow turns into a "The way Shaq's been lately, he might as well be in the WWF" comment. Gunn going up. I'm thinking this might not work. Gunn really slow and Tajiri crotches him. Knocking his upper body off but he's still held up their, facing outside, Tajiri, um, slaps him on the butt a few times. Tazz says Gunn likes that.  Sliding dropkick to the back off the head didn't hit as much as usual. Both up - Tajiri wins the strikes battle. Corner whip, reversed, Handspring elbow. Standing moonsault one two NO! Axhandle no Tajiri gets thrown into the corner. Corner whip, charge right into the Tarantula - Chuck runs over and punches Tajiri in the back of the head to break it! Tajiri slow up, Palumbo to the apron - hard back thrust kick to knock Palumbo to the floor. But Billy with the kick Fameasser. (3:37) The WWF's Cruiserweight Division is on Fire! Palumbo stomps Tajiri many a time for fun. Who will save Tajiri? Will anyone save Tajiri? More stomping. I'm starting to think no. No lights. Oh - there's a Hurricane coming through! Gunn and Palumbo look towards the ramp, but Hurricane is on the corner buckle behind them - flying cross body for Gunn, kick wham DDT for Chuck, whip, reversed, clothesline misses DOUBLE SUPERKICK on Billy! Hurricane pose. Hand is extended - and Tajiri shakes it. Thumbs up. Torrie's pleased - that Billy and Chuck got beat up. Is this a new tag team? Where's Molly? Should I take back my mocking Cruiserweight comment? No. 

Triple H returns. The caption turns "The Undertaker" into "The Jimmy Hart", that's odd. (4:08) On RAW, it'll be Kurt Angle vs Kane. 

Coming up next, that tag team match - Sgt. Slaughter has a graphic? Saturn's has been updated with his new tattoos yet.

Final Fantasy X stinkface of three days ago.

Tazz admits to setting that up.

the dudleyz (w/stacy keibler) vs perry saturn & sgt. slaughter - Everyone wear fatigues! Saturn has a hat. Slaughter gets his own and last entrance. Cole says that Slaughter was minding his own business, ha ha. D-Von and Saturn start. Lockup, knee from D-Von. Right right right blocked right right clothesline. Saturn with push in the ropes, head to the midsection. Forearm to the back. Push in the ropes, head to the midsection, forearm. Whip, reversed, spinning back elbow. D-Von with a right. Whip, springboard cross body one two no. Push in the ropes, D-Von gets in a knee. Now he tries a clothesline, but that's ducked, exploder suplex. Saturn asks the fans if they Slaughter and they do.  Wind up and a right. Whip, clothesline. Clothesline for Bubba. Slam. Slam. Tag to Saturn. Sarge holds D-von for Saturn to kick. Kick. Whip, head down too soon and D-Von kicks it, then clotheslines him. Tag to Bubba. Back suplex. Forearm for Sarge. Hold for the headbutt. D-Von sets him up and Sarge argues, allowing D-Von to choke. Right. Corner smash. Right right right right right right right right right. Tag to Bubba. Forearm, cheap shot for Sarge. Kick to the back. Shot to the gut. Slam. Oh no he's going to try it again - yes, the senton misses. SUPERKICK one two no I guess it wasn't super. Saturn needs to make a tag - he does. D-Von tagged and clotheslined. Clotheslined. Ugly clothesline. Clothesline. Corner whip, back elbow. Rights for Bubba.  Kick, suplex that almost turned into a brainbuster because Sarge couldn't get him over. (That was right after Tazz said "hasn't lost a step.") Cover one, bubba breaks it. Punches, clothes for Saturn but Saturn's back over and they're brawling and now it's all turned into a mess. Saturn and D-Von got out, and Bubba gets the better of Bubba and calls for it - it's the Cobra Clutch - D-Von makes the save before Bubba give sup. D-Von pulls off Sarge's belt. Double whip, belt clothesline is too high and Sarge clotheslines both of them. Sarge has the belt - shot to D-Von and there's the bell. (5:45) But Sarge is hitting every Dudley that moves with the belt. Stacy comes in to slap Sarge for no good reason and Sarge pulls her over his knee for a couple belt shots to her behind. Bubba pulls her to safety and the Dudleyz take off.

RAW! RUMBLE! LATER!

Hmm, no one challenged Chyna for a match at Rumble THIS year.

The Cubs Fan
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