One Year Ago, K-Kwik beat Haku with a rollup, the Hollys beat X-Factor with help from Spike Dudley (which would soon be forgot), Perry Saturn beats Raven with some help from Eddie Guerrero (to hype a European Title match that never happened.) At WWFNY, Trish played the Dating Game (with the expected horrible results) and Vince found out that Undertaker/Kane vs Austin/Triple H would have all the titles on the line.

Have I said recently that, between the long video packages (that I've typically already seen when it happened and the package already) and the long MTV commercial breaks, Heat hype shows suck to watch live? Probably not for a month, ha.

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The promo they've been using to hype Backlash for the last while - Hogan's return and reaction at WrestleMania leading to the Undisputed title match versus Triple H. "The Last Stop On The Road To Backlash Starts Now" - MAKE UP YOUR MIND

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FANS. OUTSIDE. KANSAS CITY. MO. BACKLASH. Your talking dorks are Coach and Raven (21 Time Hardcore Champion.) This is the first time RAW and Smackdown people will be on the same broadcast - though not actually going against each other. Push the two top matches. Writing this out of order, as I tend to do on a live pre-PPV Heat, my annoyance levels gets random around here. The first video package of the night is...Edge/Angle. I guess I should point out that they put video Volkoff and the Iron Sheik in the angle speech. (2:20) Raven thinks it will be a classic. Look there are fans and are the talking. Coming up later on, Big Show in a handicap match, ugh.

Slim Jim Smackdown Six Man Tag.

This leads to talk about that match. Raven figures this could be the most important match in Al Snow's career. Tough Enough 2 talk - Coach is a lech. This cut features NO Edge. (1:57) Coach points out that we don't know what happened with Jackie and Pete. Moving on, RVD vs Eddie for the IC Title, Kidman vs Tajiri for the Cruiserweight Title, Trish vs Jazz for the Women's Title match - let's talk with Trish.

Jerry Lawler talks with Trish: "King, I appreciate the compliment, but these [breasts] have nothing to with tonight. Tonight, I have a shot at the Women's title. And you know what, I've feel like I've earned it. You know Jazz says she's the toughest women in the WWF, and yea, she's tough - and damn sure a bitch. But you know (3) what, I can be too. And I'm gonna show her when I deliver 100% Stratusfaction, guaranteed."

Bradshaw/Scott Hall talk - will Bradshaw establish himself? Somehow we segue into the Scorpion King hype and an appearance on Conan O'Brien. (1:40) And then we segue into the Forceable Entry - here's a music video for "Across the Nation" by Union Underground, which you may know as the new RAW song. This version features people on RAW and Smackdown. (2:30) Coming up next, a very special look at "self proclaimed" Brock Lesnar.

1-800-Call ATT and explain to them why Jeff is in that match now.

Backstage, Bubba Ray Dudley sets up his stuff - and D-Von drops by. Hug, and then they talk. D-Von's happy with what Bubba's done, Hardcore title and all, but Bubba's not as thrilled with D-Von's career moves. That leads to D-Von going into his shtick and Bubba showing all the interest in it that I am with this paragraph here - I think Bubba told D-Von to think this over but I fell asleep. If you were hoping for some big Dudleyz reunion when they first met, pretend this never happened - they will.

We look outside as Raven and Coach discuss whatever that was, and hype the products. Talk about Brock Lesnar's in ring debut tonight - now Coach has no qualifiers about calling him The Next Big Thing (is an indy nickname.) Here's a video package (1:20) To make it even more fun, Paul talks and talks and talks and talks and here's a replay of the skit from last week and do we really need to be spending time on this angle on the hype show? (1:58) Matt is too hurt to compete, so it's now Jeff. Fans..

Limo, then some legs - and Vince telling the camera to perhaps move up - hey, remember this when Vince reveals some master plan latertonight right in front of the camera. Vince blah blah blahs but I'm not transcribing; basically they're arranging to have sex later on and Vince wants Stacy to stay in the lounge till then.

Scorpion King hype - this is the Rock/Duncan fight scene one.

Coach talks about Scorpion King breaking the April opening weekend record, but doesn't drop a number. Triple H/Hulk Hogan graphic, Austin/Undertaker/Flair graphic and that one takes us to a video package. (2:26) 

Your ringside announcers are King and JR - because it's a RAW match?

Big Show vs Steven Richards and Justin Credible in a handicap match - I'd do play by play but this match is all to set up one spot, you know? I know. JR talks about them being no pushovers right when Show is doing just that. Giant Silva beats up on Veneno and Violencia until they sneak in an eye poke - double suplex fails, double suplex works the other way. Headbutts for everyone. X Marks the Spot is pretty much no sold - Show is bounced off the ropes and comes back with a clothesline. Only a matter of a time before we get what we came here for - double chokeslam. One two three. (2:09) "That's a hoss, I'll tell you! That's an awesome, awesome athlete!" JR says athlete a couple more times.

Oh look, this leaves us plenty of time talk about Austin/Undertaker and Hogan/Triple H more - you think there might be a video package? This looks a lot like the one I just saw on Jakked, though it may be slightly different enough to mess up the time. Ugh, it is different so I can't just cut and paste it. (3:00)

See you on the PPV (if you're silly.)