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WWF Sunday Night Heat by The Cubs Fan




TV PG LV entertainment open fireworks. Coach and D'Lo are your hosts - and they'd like to talk about the #1 contender and the events of SmackDown!

Miss Jackie vs Molly Holly for the WWE Women's Championship - have they forget that Molly could go to both shows or did Eric do a super duper secret deal with her that's never been mentioned. Molly grabs her neck on the way to the ring, reminding us of that table she went through 13 days ago. Coach says he's at 55% himself. D'Lo and Coach talk about how bad Coach sucks at 100% and they never ever take a day off. Hey, there's an actual build here to the title match here - Jackie beat protégé Victoria last week, so she he gets the teacher this week. It'd be nice if they said it, though. Lockup, armbar, Miss Jackie reverses. Coach does note they normally don't show SmackDown! clips on Heat but they're gonna make an exception. Inside cradle one two no. Jackie get the crowd cheering. Her breasts look even bigger this week. Lockup, headlock, Molly elbows, shoots Jackie into the ropes but Jackie comes back with a clothesline. Eric is MAKING them show the footage, okay. Off the ropes, over, Molly tries the hiptoss but it's blocked and Jackie hits her own. Armdrag. Corner whip, reversed, Jackie kips up, Molly catcher her buy the leg but Jackie hits the headscissors after a pause. Jackie is pumped - charge at Molly but Molly trips her up into the middle buckle, and follow by dropkick. Stomps.  If Coach were Molly (ew), Chris would have gotten some by now. D'Lo talks about Chris not sealing the deal. Snap suplex. One two no. Choke on middle rope. Top rope. Jackie's knocked backwards off the ropes. Snap mare. One two no. Molly is shocked she didn't get the win on a snap mare. Forearm. Whip, clothesline is turned into a Jackie crucifix, turning into a sunset flip one two NO. Clothesline and down Jackie goes. Fans are exceedingly loud. Stomp. Side back breaker, one two no. Announcers wonder if Molly was playing up the neck injury and dogging it to sucker in Jackie. Corner whip, Molly with a handspring elbow but Jackie moves - right, right, dropkick (.5 WOW), "Classic Comeback". Whip, back elbow. Cover one two no. Spin kick - that may be here move! One two no I guess it's not. Turnbuckle smash, turnbuckle smash, turnbuckle smash - they all don't look good. Now the corner punches one two three four five - Molly with the Flair double leg takedown and feet on the rope one two three. (3:41) She only gets one foot actually on a rope before three, but it's good enough anyway. 

Earlier today, Raven was again cornered by the Fink. "...everything happened at once when I saw Jamal and Rosie come down that aisle. And Raven, you should've seen the expression on Lillian's face, it was absolutely priceless. But Raven, it wasn't a shove, it was more a push off something so I could get away. But truth be told Raven, I have a bad knee." Here's Johnny! (Stamboli) "Hey Raven, how you doing - you and me, we need to have a little sit down. [looks at Fink] Who's the hum [I dunno]?" "He's harmless." "Remember that little business arrangement, we mad a few weeks back." "Yea." "You hired me to take out your little D'Lo problem." "Yea." "And I did. Very well, I might add." "Yea." "Where's my money; I'm here to collect." "You want me to pay you?" "Yea." "I don't think so!" "You don't think so?" "Johnny, I repaid you.  I paid you an opportunity. You see, I gave you an opportunity to come on to my playground and display ruthless aggression for Eric Bischoff by beating D'Lo Brown. You know, I think you should be paying me." "Me paying you? I don't think so." "[puts arm on Johnny's shoulder] You know what, I like you Johnny. So I tell you what - I'm gonna give you another opportunity to display ruthless aggression. In the ring tonight, except your opponent is gonna be me!" "[pushes shoulder off] Me and you? [to Fink] Do you believe this guy? [back to Raven] Consider it done. I'll tell you what, though, you're going to me today, or - you're gonna pay me today. [slap] Capiche?" Hey, we're two for two on "matches with reason". I expect that not keep up at all.

Also later - D'Lo vs Sean Stasiak.

Justin Credible vs it's all about Shelton Benjamin, take 2 - See, they're fighting because of unresolved feelings during their recent house show run against each other - or maybe not. Justin has a word for the Fink upon getting to the ring. D'Lo and Coach talk about how there's no stopping Shelton (Regal who?) Justin's very funny charging at Shelton with a double ax-handle before the bell but I think I'm gonna have to lay out because I feel a statement message coming from the announcers: 

Coach: What about HLA?
D'Lo: Oh boy
Coach: I personally loved it, till Rosie and Jamal showed up
D'Lo: Kinda ruined it for everybody.
Coach: Yea, it was going really good.
D'Lo: To me, I wouldn't have minded if that segment went a little more than three minutes - ten minutes!
Coach: Yea, if he had said "You've been out here for like ten minutes", that would've been cool. But they didn't.
D'Lo: No, "three minutes, that was enough." [sigh]
Coach: [talks about the match! then back] A lot of people are talking one way or another, whether they liked HLA or didn't. If you didn't like HLA, there's something wrong with you.
D'Lo: Well, the bottom line, people are talking whether they like it or didn't like, but the bottom line, people are talking HLA.

Hey, I always knew there was something wrong with Albert Ching, I just couldn't put my finger on it. Thank you WWE! I wonder how MTV felt about it - and why they're not allowed to say lesbian (surely not a forbidden word on this network.) Smart of them to come up with the code words in advance. Picking it up, it's Shelton in control with an armdrag into an armbar, Justin rights out of it. Chop. Corner whip, reversed, Justin kips up but Shelton's stopped short, Justin turns around into a press slam and dropped to the mat one two no. Right. One of those WWE punches that are supposedly to look like rights but end up looking like forearms half the time. Justin pulls the referee (Chad Patten) in the way to block anymore, giving him an opening for a kick - SUPERKICK. COVER HIM. Well finally one two NO. Stomp. Push in the corner, knee lift, shoulder, shoulder, shoulder, kick to the chest, gutbuster! One two no. Did I tell you about the WWE profile listing Justin's finisher as the spinning tombstone? I might have. Stomps. Abdominal stretch - not close enough the ropes to do something, so Shelton hiptoss out of it. Justin follows up with a stomp, front facelock, but Shelton spins out and hits a Russian legsweep. Both men down - getting up, Justin up first but he gets a right, right, right, right, now all sorts of punches and kicks. Whip, reversed, Shelton with a spinning back elbow. Whip, inverted atomic drop/clothesline. Low blow high pitched voice, check. One two no. Justin retreats into the corner, Shelton charges and eats boot. Justin to the second turnbuckle - axhandle is blocked, and Shelton with a - well, I'm calling it a hammerlock powerslam but that can't be right. Looked neat. One two three. (4:05) D'Lo and Coach aren't sure either but are impressed. "He does it a different way every week!" YOU LIAR

Coming up later - Stasiak vs D'Lo, but next, the commitment ceremony.

Moments ago, Shelton won - see? 

Backstage, Lillian Garcia catches up with Shelton. "Can I get your thoughts about your victory tonight?" "Well, you sure can. See, I'm on a roll. What kind of roll do you ask? Well, it's been match after match, and I've had victory after victory and still, I've gone untested. And my skills - my skills are unrivaled. So my victory tonight of why it's all about the Benjamins." So we're forgetting that Regal match? Maybe it's for the best. Coach notes that he sounds a little cocky, and then the SmackDown! footage Eric has demanded we air (why is Stephanie letting him?) We're back to calling it a commitment ceremony (you can't call it a same-sex marriage on MTV? Are you saving time on International Heat or something?)

Fortunately, we skip to the chase - past Godfather's departure. Chuck sounds like the Rock. Sometimes what they don't say is more interesting than what they do - Tazz's "There must be a lot of gay people here" line is noticeably cut. Edge needs to run slower or Rosey needs to run faster. Hey, why wasn't D-Von at ringside? Did they forget about that within a week? (5:05) Coach figures on Stephanie giving payback on Monday. 

Promo for RVD/HHH at Unforgiven.

You know, if I was Courtney Love (ew), I'd just pull Smells Like Teen Spirit (either that or anything by Snow) out of the vault, and make them put it on a continuous loop for the whole 24 hours. But we don't think alike all that much.

Burger King Run-ins of the second UnAmerican match of Last Monday - see how close Bradshaw holds his arm to his side at the end.

Raven (w/Forceable Entry) vs Johnny Stamboli (w/Last Monday) - I think Coach is about to say something about Bradshaw's injury, but he gets cut off by Raven and D'Lo having one of their staring contests. Johnny slaps hands on the way to the ring, because he's a face this week. That clip of Big Show piefacing Johnny feels like an indy showing a clip of one their guys as a security guard getting beat up. Face to face talking. They back off. Coach does talk about the Bradshaw injury. Reaching out for each other, but not touching - now face to face again. Raven with the finisher pointing and the push, so Johnny with a forearm, forearm, forearm, whip, reversed, Johnny out with a clothesline. Clothesline. Press slam - hold and drop for a gutbuster. Raven clotheslined out. Johnny out, just to throw Raven in - Raven stomps him when he comes back in. Kick. forearm, whip, reversed, clothesline. Whip, charge in, Raven gets up the knee. D'Lo says the Mr. Wrestling #2 kneelift is a lot like the Diamond Cutter. Slingshot into the bottom rope. Out - forearms to the bottom rope. Headlock, snap mare, Johnny rolls him over into a pin one two no. When's the season premier of RAW? Up, off the ropes, shoulderblock. Off the ropes, over, kick by Johnny, kick, kick, whip, reversed Raven gets his head down too son it's kicked, Johnny charges and gets drop toe holded out of the ring. Raven down in the ring, Johnny crawling on the outside. Raven out - Russian leg sweep into the barricade. Raven back in to break the count, Johnny pulling himself up and Raven throws him in. Second rope knee driver. One two no. Rebound clothesline - no it's caught and turned into a overhead belly to belly suplex. Both are down now - one two three four five six seven eight both up and Johnny with rights. Raven misses a right and gets an atomic drop - off the ropes, spin kick - was it ducked? Raven doesn't really sell it, and I think he fell down too soon for it, but walks right into a kick, right, corner whip, corner smash. Johnny to the second rope - bulldog clothesline! One two no. Whip, reversed, reversed, Johnny hits a tilt-a-whirl slam one two NO. Kick, whip, hiptoss no reversed in midair to the Raven Effect - one two three. (5:13) It looked really out of nowhere. 

Coming up later - Stasisk vs D'Lo, but next, highlights of the #1 contender match.

Promo for Brock vs Undertaker (on a RAW show?)

Lugz win by sleeper of Last Monday - nice how they're building up Triple H vs Bubba seeing as RVD is his opponent. (2:24) Next, D'Lo vs Stasiak.

So coming in from the break, not only do we get the Forceable Entry plug (aka: we have a lot to move still), but we get a commercial for RVD. Well, they end with saying he's on RAW, but really, it's an ad for RVD with lots of new footage. (:40)

Shawn Stasiak vs King D'Lo Brown - D'Lo's gonna make a Sky Hi Hall of Fame plaque. Maybe. Crowd's stoked for D'Lo. Ref is Nick Patrick. "D'Lo" chant! You wouldn't think they'd like a Chicago person in Green Bay, but it's early in the season yet. D'Lo's dropkick looks better than Jackie's. D'Lo runs into the post with his shoulder, so there's our body part to work. Stasiak works in the infamous armbar quite near the 3 minute mark, almost like they remember last time this match happened. Coach nearly has a premature Classic Comeback. Shaky Shaky Legdrop. TWO? I can't believe it, Fred. Someone must've taught Stasiak some arm related moves to do. Shawn goes for his finisher but no one notices and D'Lo escapes anyway. D'Lo use a flapjack on the ropes to set up the Sky Hi - one two three. (5:03) His arm does hurt when Nick Patrick raises it, but he shakes some life back in to it.

Heat will be LIVE next week. See you.

The Cubs Fan
[slash] wrestling

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