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WWF Sunday Night Heat by The Cubs Fan




TV PG L Entertainment Open Fireworks

Mark Jindrak vs Justin Credible - Although I bet Coach is about to say "debut", we last saw Mark Jindrak on the 08/04/01 edition of Jakked (running in on a Hugh Morrus/Albert match - no, really); he was quickly sent down during the Invasion. Actually Lita beats him to it. Your hosts are Lita and the Coach. Lita's making a concerted effort to sound energetic this week, so points for her. Lita: "Mark Jindrak may be new to some of you guys, but I personally remember him as a former WCW Tag Team Champion with his partner Sean O'Haire." Hey MATT, you FOOL, why haven't you married her yet? You can't let a person like this get away. Coach is shocked at Lita's research. Lockup, Mark pushes Justin it the corner. Loud ECW chant. Did I mention that Mark has moppy brown hair now? There you go. Justin shoves Mark away by the head, then asks him to punch him - then rolls out before he can. NO PUNCHES. Now he's back up, once Mark is backed off. Lockup, Justin with a knee, right, kick, corner whip, reversed, Jindrak with a dropkick. Hiptoss! Armdrag! Coach segues from Jindrak to Booker T in a credible manner! Armbar! Justin with an eye poke! I think I'm still shocked about the memory thing.  Whip, Jindrak gets his head down too soon, Justin with a forearm to the back. Justin charges into a tilt-a-whirl powerslam one tow no. Corner whip, Jindrak charges into a back elbow. Justin misses a clothesline, Mark jumps to the top rope - and Justin crotches him. Mark smartly falls into the Tree of Woe position, but Justin wisely stomps him instead of trying that baseball slide dropkick. "Who's Incredible?" Not you if you blow this again, Justin. Chop. Mark with a kick, right, right, Justin stops him with an eye poke. Kick, snap mare, knee to the back, chinlock on the mat. Cranking it in. Mark elbowing out, Clothesline misses, SUPERKICK one two NO! Technically, I guess it is his "WWE" debut. No don't do the baseball slide don't do it - aww, he's crotched again. Punch battle, Mark wins. Slam. Dropkick. Whip, flapjack. One two no - Mark was kinda arguing the count even before the three. Lita flaunts her knowledge of the Credible Catchphrase. Corner whip, Jindrak charges boot. Justin misses a clothesline - Jindrak runs, springboards to the top rope and turns with a clothesline, one two NO. Last time he won a match, it was a Tiger Bomb but I'd be shocked. Justin tries Superkick, it's caught - atomic drop, jumping reverse neckbreaker one two three. (4:34) Eh. Jindrak still looks incredibly generic.

Coming up later, Lance Storm vs Johnny Stamboli.

Up next, highlights from Raw Roulette.

Yep. Divas junk. (6:23)

Coming up later, Lance Storm vs Johnny Stamboli.

Up next, the blindfold match

JVC whatever

Not a Heat can go by without D'Lo making an appearance. (4:06)

Snickers Raven Interview and Win of Last Week

Coach stands in the ring - ah, it's time for a word from your lord and mine, King Raven. Lita thinks Raven will explain himself here, which shows that she's new. "Now Raven, last week - last week, you made a very cryptic mention of your pieces coming together and it was time for your masterpiece to begin. Care to explain?" "For two years, I've languished in this company and watched opportunities that a man of my skill and intellect deserve be given to others - other superstars - because they were more of a 'friendly image.' I've been treated like an outcast. I've been treated an unwanted child. I've been treated like a depraved embarrassment! For two years, I resisted the temptation to lash out in a rage. I've rested the temptation to quit the WWE entirely. [big cheer here] I didn't Coach, I didn't, because I have a statement to make. A statement that I will reveal in upcoming weeks. A statement that will expose the hypocrisy that shows - [YOU SUCK YOU SUCK] A STATEMENT that shows the WWE and society itself - society has been seduced by depravity! And you people have responded with all the chastity of a three dollar tramp! I see the way you people look at me - you look down your noses at me because I'm different, I dress different. [pause] Well it's time I show you people that I'm not depraved - it's you people [pause - distracted by the fans] This interview's over, Coach." Lita sums up that we've learned nothing - well, thanks for the honesty.

Moving on, not only will Heat be live from the site of No Mercy, but I'll fast forward through three and half minutes of Saliva's new video "Always". Join us, won't you?

Coming up next, TLC highlights.

TLC Highlights. I think the deal is that the writers only feel the need to keep continuity they wrote - everything else surely sucked if they didn't write it, so they might as well write it out of existence. It ain't MY deal but that's what I get.(9:25)

Lance Storm vs Johnny Stamboli (w/hat) - Hi Lance. Not that there's anything wrong with you, but with the Un-Americans break up, I just have this feeling we'll be seeing a lot more of you on this show. Sorry 'bout that. Johnny's a face this week. Circle. Lockup, Storm with a go behind, forearms, right, right, knee, knee, corner whip, corner clothesline. Johnny battling back with strikes. USA chant because Johnny's the guy with the big Italian flag in his video. Whip, reversed into a knee lift. Storm takes him down, legdrop to the back of the head, one two no. Suplex, no it's blocked, Johnny fights back - suplex of his own. Elbow drop but no one's home. Lita's trying to nicely and storyline wise say "having Triple H and Flair overshadow the work those seven guys did is messed up." Quick comparison: Coach is trying to get the writing over, Lita is trying to give the worker some credit. Turnbuckle smash. Right. Whip, back elbow. One two no. Lance holding Johnny in a 3/4 bulldog headlock. Lance is good and I really appreciate the things he can build in but see, I watched RAW first and that's really a bad idea when it comes to doing these. Johnny battling out. Whip, no Johnny with an overhead belly to belly suplex. Both slow up, Johnny misses with a clothesline but hits a wheel kick. Johnny with a clothesline, whip, backdrop with Lance over rotating and nearly landing on his feet. That wasn't pretty. Johnny with a corner splash, and a second rope bulldog one two no. Whip, head down too soon, it's kicked. Lance charges right into the tilt-a-whirl slam for one two no. Jawbreaker. Punches, Johnny wins. Whip, reversed, Lance scoops Johnny up - forward roll slam! One two no. Lance goes right for the half crab but he can't get him over - small package one two NO! Lance misses a clothesline, Johnny with a shot the gut - pres slam, no lance slips out, knee to the back. Corner whip, Johnny kips up and out - SUPERKICK one two three. (4:10) Hey, it's working again, how about that. Justin needs to figure out what Lance and Steven are doing.

Only two matches? Wow. That's it.  

The Cubs Fan
[slash] wrestling

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