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WWF Sunday Night Heat by The Cubs Fan




TV PG LV entertainment Kane/HHH video (from the PPV, I assume - :47) open

king Raven vs NWA TNA Superstar Cassidy O'Reilly - HHH "jumped way over the line", 'ccording to Coach. (Guess he didn't get the memo har har.) "To say this is one of the most historical and controversial weeks in the history of this company I'd think would be an understatement." Lita pushes the over the line idea. Cassidy gets second entrance? Truly he is a superstar. What's with Raven's purple dreads this week? Lita says D'Lo is Coach's boy (in the PTI sense I think), but thinks what Stacy did for Test was "cute." There's the bell. There's Raven explaining to Hop Along that this is his playground (no, really) and inviting Cassidy to take a leave of the ring by sitting on the middle rope. DO IT. Nah, he's got Fighting Spirit and is gonna stick around. Raven moves on. Lockup, Raven pushes in the corner, rights, stomps. Lita and Coach say Raven is not funny, which means they haven't looked at him recently. Whip, backdrop. 10 from the guy in the crowd. Stomp to the head. Stomps. Whip, backdrop but Cassidy lands on his feet, superkick but they don't work on this show and Raven catches it, clothesline is ducked, O'Reilly with a small package one kickout. Right, Raven reels from the power, Cassidy stands there for a beat waiting for him to turn around, then Raven does for another right. Corner whip, reverses Cassidy kip out and over to a waistlock, Raven with a standing switch, Cassidy back elbows out, Raven pulls him down by the hair. Raven yells at him to get up - clothesline turns him inside out. 10! Arm raise. Corner whip, rebound clothesline. Lita and Coach are mocking Raven. Snap mare, face pull. I think that's a choke. Cassidy elbows out, right, and Raven is forced to stand their playing stunned as Cassidy goes to the rope for a corkscrew moonsault - Raven moves out of the way in plenty of time. Soccer kick to the back. Kick. Foot on the neck choke. Second rope knee driver. One two NO. Those judges are giving 10s to everything. Snap mare, chinlock. Lita says Cassidy is the hometown guy (which is why they probably gave him second entrance - you don't say where he's from if he's already there) and mentions him working in the area for some time. Cassidy trying to get the crowd behind him - elbows out, right, right, right, corner whip, Cassidy with a handspring elbow in. Kick to the midsection - running Tornado DDT (Coach: "Windmill DDT" which is actually a neat description so someone must've told Coach) but Raven pushes him off. Raven clothesline is ducked, one beat here as Cassidy pauses, Cassidy off the ropes, Raven goes for a clothesline, Cassidy is either going for a cross body or badly trying to do the flip oversell again, and the result is very bad looking. Raven pulls him into the front facelock, yell, the fans yell back and maybe that's why he opts to get in some hard forearms to the back (while saying something to Cassidy.) Whip, Chase with a handspring cross body one two no. Corner whip, Cassidy charges into the Mr. Wrestling II kneelift. Too bad Raven can't be Mr. Wrestling III - that'd blow my mind. Front facelock and there's your Raven Effect. One knee cover one two three. (4:27) Raven has a few last words for Cassidy as he leaves.

Your announcers are Lita and the Coach. What will happen at Survivor Series?

Coming up later, Jackie vs Molly.

In the RAW version of the SmackDown! The Vote Ad, Rico does not ask for an end to discrimination.

Greyhound Fun With Sticks of Monday

Mark Jindrak (new music, new video) vs Mike Owens (already in the ring) - Circle. Lockup, Mark with a waistlock, Mike with a standing switch, Mark with a drop toe hold, then up to a headlock. Mike with elbows to fight free, but Mark keeps it on. Another elbow. Whip, off the ropes, shoulder block. Off the ropes, Mike goes over, hiptoss is blocked, Mark hits his. High dropkick. Whip, tilt-a-whirl slam. Lita says Jindrak claims to have the highest vertical leap in WWE history. Coach says he's heard that Jindrak can touch 13' 8"/ One two no. Headlock, Mike shoves Mark into the corner. Knees and kicks to the midsection by Mike. Corner whip, reversed, reverses back to the corner they started in, Mark charges, cross body finds no one because Mike ducked down. Mike back with kicks and stomps. Front facelock, forearm to the back. Mike with a suplex, chain to a Russian Legsweep. Lita is of the "Tough Enough kids have it way easy and I'm somewhat jealous and bitter" mindset, one two no. Lita notes that she (and others) missed the day when they went on vacation to some exotic place and the day when they did hiptosses onto crash pads, but later also notes she missed the day when they did 12 mile bike rides too. Mike with elbows to the back. Chinlock by Mike. Mark elbows out, off the ropes, under a clothesline, hits his own. Clothesline. Clothesline. Dropkick. Whip, backdrop. One two no. Whip, slam, Mike goes behind, reverse rollup (with tights?) One two no. Mark up first, kick to the midsection, clothesline misses, Mike with a powerslam one two no. Corner whip by Mike, charge in to a boot. Mark leaps to the rope, turning top rope clothesline one two no. Mike misses with a punch, Mark with a back suplex into a powerbomb one two three. (4:18)

TE Highlights. (2:30)

Up next - HBK walks.

HBK - from two months ago to six days ago. That wacky Shawn and his mysterious injuries. (3:02)

Coming up later - Jackie vs Molly. But next, Steven vs Johnny.

Steven Richards vs Johnny Stamboli - Steven's new tights have eyes in the front of him. Which would make the face's nose his - oh let's not even think about that. Lita notices the eyes too. Johnny's got his heel video but he's a face tonight. Circle. Lockup, break. Steven yells, double hand raise. He's bouncing! Okay, circle. Lockup, Johnny shoves him down. Now not making nice hand gestures. Lockup, Steven with a kick, chop, right, right, whip, reversed, Steven rebounds into the backdrop (Steven barely gets over, Johnny seemed worried) slam one two no. Headlock, Steven pushes Johnny into the ropes, clean break no Steven with a shoulder to the gut, shoulder to the gut. Whip, Steven throws Johnny out as he runs by, but he lands on the apron - Johnny with an eye poke (I guess - maybe a shoulder to head) and up to the top rope, reverse bulldog clothesline. One two no. Johnny back to the headlock, takedown one two no. Still with the headlock, Steven with elbows, push into the ropes, Johnny back with a shoulderblock. Off the ropes, Steven puts his head down way too soon, Johnny whips him, leapfrog, Johnny charges into a drop toe hold into the middle rope and a jumping neckbreaker on the rebound. I'm not sure what Johnny was thinking that exchange - he's got the man in a vulnerable position, and the best thing he can think to do is whip him. Why don't you just do a move and then whip him? Steven stomping. Steven yelling at him to get up - and then kicks him in the head with the flat of his foot. Front facelock, hand raise and yell. Lita yells in support. Suplex. One two no. Elbow to the back of the neck, elbow to the neck, camel clutch. After a wait, Johnny raises Steven up on his shoulders - electric chair suplex and Steven lands on the back of his neck. Both men down. Steven is up first, whip, clothesline is ducked, Steven tries a leapfrog but Johnny powerslams him but he's too hurt to cover. Steven with a right, Johnny with a right. Steven with a right, Johnny with a right. Steven with a right, Johnny with a clothesline. Johnny with a clothesline. Whip, back elbow (I think.) Johnny with a corner splash.. Corner whip, charge meets boot. Steven charges out into a tilt-a-whirl slam one tow no. Johnny yells at Steven to get up, settling up - ForgetAboutIt, well maybe you should because Steven elbows out. Corner whip, reverses, Steven goes in chest first then rebounds into a press slam into an over the shoulder powerslam. That's always a neat finish but Johnny is again too hurt to cover. Lita: "Get on top Johnny, get on top!" Coach: "Don't ever say that again!" Johnny with the scary leap to the to-p rope and the scary legdrop but nobody's home - STEVENKICK uno dos tres. (5:30) Steven yells "I showed you! I showed you!" Okay, your superkick works, I'll lay off.

Coming up next - the magic of video tape.

Wow, they're actually going to the video. You know, even if it was funny on some level, the bigger problem was that it was a minute joke in an 8 minute segment. I thought it was a heck of lot more boring than insulting, but that's me. We cut the first fondling. And the second. "Well, I'm sorry, but we have to stop the footage right there, because this is a PG show. But Triple H proceeded to climb on what we later found out was a mannequin playing the role of the deceased Katie Vick, and simulated having sex. And I can only imagine what Kane's reaction was after witnessing this footage. I unfortunately witnesses Triple H's reaction first hand." We skip ahead to Triple H and Kane battling up the ramp, then some of the garage fun. I really could've dug a Tombstone at the end. I bet Triple H isn't really dead. I mean, he survived that car crash. THEY DON'T EDIT OUT THE TRUNK OPENING. (5:00) Coach and Lita don't even seem to be thinking of the possibility that Triple H could be dead. 

JVC You're Fired Traded of Monday

Molly Holly vs Miss Jackie - Coach makes "Big Show is really really fat" jokes. Circle. Lockup, Molly with an armbar, twist, Jackie reverses, twist. push down. La Majistral one two no! Molly complains of a hairpull. Circle. Lockup, headlock, Jackie with elbows, shoots Molly into the ropes but Molly back with a shoulderblock. Off the ropes, into a hiptoss. Armdrag, armdrag, drop toe hold. Molly decides that she needs a break to check on her arm. Charles Robinson out to check on her arm. Charles makes the X sign and keeps Jackie away. Here's Chad Patten - he must be a great sprinter to make it all the way out here between that X sign and now. Coach isn't buying this, which is better than I give him credit for. Shocking no one, Molly attacks Jackie from behind, smashing Jackie's head into the steps. Head into the apron. Thrown in. Molly with a suplex, cover one two no. Stomp to the back. Stomp to the back. Eye gouge. Neck vice. Jackie elbowing out, off the ropes, ducks the clothesline, hits the cross body one two no. Molly up first and hitting a clothesline. One two no. Swinging neckbreaker one two no. Pulling Jackie's nose. Face stretch, I guess. Leg choke on the middle rope. Corner whip, Molly charges into an elbow. Molly misses with a right and Jackie doesn't. Right. Dropkick. Whip, back elbow. One two no. Announcers are occasionally being drowned out by the (fake) crowd noise. Kick to the midsection, kick to the midsection, spin kick to the head. Tornado DDT - is pushed off. Jackie with a roll into corner punches one two three four five Molly powerbomb her off, feet on the second rope one two three. (4:45)

Tag Team Titles will be on the line tomorrow night - Dudleyz vs Storm/Christian. That's it for this.

The Cubs Fan
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