Tonight, for the first time in history, we will have an Undisputed Champion Of Wrestling! I'll bet that causes Jim Ross to tell us during the opening that sports-entertainment will never be the same!
Opening Montage: In "One - A Firm By Freddie Fellini", all kinds of old-school wrestling clips play. "Classy" Freddie Blassie sits and watches while a popular piece of classical music plays (you know it, I just don't know the name. If you saw the PPV and know the piece of music I'm talking about, please let me know the name - thanks! [Well, Erasure called it "In the Hall of the Mountain King" when THEY did it ;-) - CRZ]). The slient-movie word-screen-things say, in order; "Since The Beginning", "There has never been..." "One undisputed champion" - the wrestling clips gradully get newer, showing guys like Flair, Sting, Hogan, Warrior, Savage, and Kevin Nash winning championships. "Until Tonight". Now all the clips are new, but still in black and white. Freddie Blassie jumps up and dances with one of the girls, he's so excited!! "Four superstars" "Three Matches" "Two Titles" "One Undisputed Champion". A dancer gives a now-sitting Blassie a kiss. We see Freddie smiling in front of the TV - fade out. Nice!
Lots O' 'Splosions and Drowning Pool politely inform us that we are LIIVE from The Sports Arena (I guess it's The Sports-Entertainment Arena tonight) in San Diego, Cal-i-for-ni-a! Forget all the other matchups - I paid my $30 for JACKIE VS. TRISH, because I thnk THEY'RE gonna kiss tonight - at least, that's what the AWESOME BUILD-UP to that match has led me to believe! On Heat, we were told that the three matches for the Undisputed Championship will run consecutively. Decided by a "coin toss", Austin/Angle will go first, followed by Rock/Jericho, with the final to happen right after! Who says Heat doesn't contain important programming? Not I, says I!
....but before we get to any action, Mr. McMahon makes his way to the ring to bestow upon us, the fans, some verbage. "Just for the record, last Thursday night....just for the record last Thursday night as I stood in this ring, I wasn't about to kiss anybody's ass. There's no one man big enough or bad enough to make me kiss anybody's ass! I was in this ring, about ready to take care of business, and what happened? And what happened?" "What?" "Stone Cold Steve Austin shows up on the Titantron" (What?) "Beat the hell out of Kurt Angle (What?) "and then threatened to beat me up if I left the ring!" (What?) "And then...after that, my very own 50-50- partner Ric Flair...Ric Flair comes out to the stage, and sayd if any WWF Superstar interferes in this proceding, he would immediately suspend them! And then......it happened. Then...The Rock took advantage of me....Rock shoved my face into Rikishi's ass!!! That was the phone embarassing, the most humiliating experience of my life! And how did you people raeactg? You LAUGHED. As if this was some sort of cartoon on television - some sort of comedy skit - on MAD TV, Saturday Night Live, YOU LAUGHED! You laughed....at me, Vince McMahon. You don't laugh at the misfortunes of billionaires. You laugh - SHUT UP - you laugh, you laugh WHEN I TELL YOU to laugh, THAT'S when you laugh! And if you don't remember anything else for the rest of the night, then you must remember this...he who laughs last...laughs loudest!!" Wait a sec, the theme from "2001 - A Space Odyssey" plays, and there's Ric Flair, who has some verbage of his own for us! "Did I hear you say last? Last? Wooo! Well, we all hope we've seen the last of you tonight, becuase these people came to see a Pay Per View called Vengence, and I.." Rick pauses while the fans and I cheer. together "...Wooooo! And the show is about to start.." Ric checks his watch. "...riiiight.....now. Woooo!" And the music of....Scotty 2 Hotty plays?
Scotty 2 Hotty and Albert vs. Test and Christian
Oooooo, a BONUS match! How exciting! I'm sure the WWF did this just so my prediction list of matches would be correct. How nice of them! Scotty and Albert dance around Vince for a little bit - Vince leaves the ring, mad. JR confirms what I've already said - this is a "bonus match"! Test and Christian converse outside for a sec, but are rushed by Albert and Scotty respectivelyScotty throws Christian into the ring and we're underway!
On the outside, Test reverses an Irish whip and sends Albert into the side of the ring while Chrsitian throws some rights and drops Scotty. Irish whip reversed, Christian slides under and applies a waistlock, Scotty with some elbows, off the ropes, back body drop but Scotty flips over Christian, big right drops Christian. Scotty break dances, then drop toe holds a charging Christian. Scotty goes for the right but Christian drops to the ground before he can throw it, and tags Test, who enters the ring with a biiiiig smile on his face.They circle, Test charges but Scotty goes through the legs and tags the "Hip Hop Hippo" Test's right is blocked, Albert's right drops Test. There's another. Irish whip, shoulder block (sorta) Albert break dances a bit, off the ropes, big splash! Cover, 1, 2, Christian saves. Albert doesn't like that, so he walks over and pie-faces Christian HARD down onto the apron. Tag to Scotty. double whip to the corner, Scotty jumps up, starts landing punches but Christian grabs him and clotheslines him on the top rope. Test smokes Scotty with a clothesline, and follows with some rights. Tag to Christian. 2 punches to the gut, body slam, stomps, right hands, blatent choke hold! Christian throws Scotty into the corner and says something to Albert to mae him mad. Albert dutifully starts to come into the ring and the ref stops him while Test and Christian lay down the double-team. Canadian tag teams are SMART! Test in now - whip to the corner, followed by a BIG clohtesline. Cover, 1, 2, Albert saves! Tag to Christian. Knife-edge, make it 2, some right hands, some chokin' with the foot, tag to Test. Test rams Scotty into the turnbuckle, lands some rights, the ref (Teddy Long) warns him and Test fakes a run a him and smiles, 'cause HE'S GOT IMMUNITY, BABY! Whip into the corner, Test follows but eats elbow. Test's clothesline misses, super-kick is caught, Test spins him around, clothesline misses, and THIS time the super-kick hits, and hits big! Albert wants the tag, and so does christian - they'll both get it! Albert with a clotheslines, a shoulder block, Test's clothesline misses, jab, jab, break dance, big right drops Test. JR asks "Is Albert fly?" No, but TEST IS! Whip into the corner, then Albert whips Christian into Test, and avalanches them both! More break dancing! GIANT SWING ON CHRISTIAN!!! Albert's dizzy, but manages to catch a rushing Test with an elbow. Cover on Christian, 1, 2, no! Test lands a shot to Albert's back, double irish whip, double clothesline by Albert! Setting Christian up for the Baldobomb, but Test drags him to the outside! They exchange punches! Scotty's back in, sees Christian staggering in a position perfect for a Worm setup, but Christian ducks and lands a Slop Drop! Now CHRISTIAN's gonna do The Worm! W, O, R, Albert's back in but Christian ducks the axe kick, going for the Unprettier but Albert puts Christian up on his shoulders for some reason - but Christian gets down and pushes Albert RIGHT INTO THE WHITBY BOOTH OF DEATH!!! Cover, 1, 2, Scotty saves!! Test with a Full Nelson, holding him for Christian, who charges but is back body dropped to the outside! Elbows by Scotty, bulldog, it's Worm time! W, O, R, M, the chop hits! Christian in going for the Unprettier, but Albert grabs him - Baldobomb!! Cover, 1, 2, 3! (6:17) Well, at least TEST didn't get pinned.
Backstage, in front of a nice little Vengence sign, William Regal's with the Coach. "William Regal in just moments you face Edge for the Intercontinental Title, now, there is no disputing your success over the last couple of weeks, hoever, your methods...have been very questionable." "Questionable? My methods questionable? People like you digust me - you distrusting Americans, my methods aren't questionable, my methods are succesful, sunshine! Just as Edge is about to find out. I mean, Edge is an....INCREDIBLE athlete! I mean, a superstar here in the World Wrestling Federation, but has he ever faced someone like myself? Someone who has been fighting for a living since he was 15 years of age, someone who has fought some of the toughest men in the world and survived! For all Edge's attributes, he's made one big mistake - he's incurred my wrath. And when you incur my wrath, you'd be safer selling your soul to the devil. Just as he's going to find out when I take away his Intercontinental championship." Regal leaves, then comes back to say "...silly pillock."
WWF Intercontinental Championship
Edge vs. William Regal
Champion enters first because ??????? - at least Edge WEARS his belt, though. Edge tells the ref to check Regal for weaponry because he's SMART! The ref checks, and finds nothing, so we're underway!
Lockup, Edge backs Regal into the corner, Regal powers his way out, thn Edge backs him into another corner, and the ref makes them break. Regal IMMEDIATELY charges Edge and they lock up again - Regal slowly backs Edge against the ropes, Edge reverses positions with him, the ref makes them break, but not before Regal lands a forearm. Regal charges but eats a clothesline. Irish whip, elbow. Up to the second rope, missile dropkick! Regal rolls outside to regroup - smart! Edge decides to follow and runs into a boot to the gut, and Regal shoves him shoulder-first into the ring pole. "Regal Sucks" chant. Regal bounces Edge off the ropes and lets him fall back to the ground - cool move. Regal rolls Edge in, stomp, picks Edge up, BIG European Uppercut. Whip into the corner is reversed - back body drop by Edge. Cover, 1, 2, no. Irish whip by Edge is reversed, solid left hand by Regal. Cover, 1, 2, no. Alternating knees, another Euro Upper. Regal stops to sneer at the crowd. Left blocked, arm wringer by Edge reversed into a full nelson - Edge rams his butt into Regal's groin to break that up (yikes!), off the ropes, sunset flip but Regal pulls him up slightly by the hair, puts his knee on the back of his neck, and PLANTS him face first into the canvas - OW! Cover, 1, 2, no! Small package by Edge - 1, 2, no! Knee to the stomach, off the ropes, knee to the head drops Edge. Regal sneers at the crowd, then remembers he's got to cover to win - 1, 2, no! Regal covers again - 1, 2, no! One more - 1, 2, no! Picks Edge up - double knee to the face. Stomp, and a big sneer gets the crowd booing! Suplex! Cover, 1, 2, no! Regal measuring - kick to the face is blocked, Edge kicks Regal in the gut - neckbreaker! Clothesline! Forearm, forearm, Irish whip reversed, Regals pun misses - Edge-O-Matic! 1, 2, no! Right by Edge, forearm, perches Regal on the top rope. They exchange punches, but Edge gets the better of it, goes up to the top rope - HURRICANRANA! Cover, 1, 2, NO! Edge with a shot to the back, waistlock, Regal elbows, second elbow is ducked - Northern Lights Suplex!! 1, 2, NO! Edge charges but eats elbow. Regal goes to pick up Edge but Edge catapults Regal over the top rope (more or less) with his feet. Edge on the apron - SPEAR MISSES BUT GETS THE STAIRS! OW! Regal's happy about that! Regal moves away while the ref checks on Edge, reaches under the ring by the ringpost, and pulls out the brass knuckles, which he quickly hides in his trunks! Now he picks up Edge and rolls him into the ring. Cover, 1, 2, Edge BARELY gets his leg on the ropes! Regal picks up Edge - double-underhook powerbomb!! Dropping down for the cover, 1, 2, NO! Regal's not happy with that at all. Stomp, Regal picks up Edge but Edge lands an enziguri! Both men are down! The ref's count starts - 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...both men are up! Regal's left is ducked and Edge rolls him up - 1, no! Edge with a backslide - 1, no! A big left forearm floors Edge while Regal shakes the cobwebs loose. He's smiling now - points towards Edge as if to say "THERE's your champion!", picks Edge up, ANOTHER double-underhook powerbomb! And THERE'S ANOTHER ONE! Dropping down for the cover, 1, 2, NO!! Regal's mad now - repeated stomps cause Edge to almost roll out of the ring. Now he's mad at the ref, but ref asserts his authority and backs Regal off. Regal turning and donning the brass knuckles, but Edge with a SPEAR out of nowhere! Cover, 1, 2, 3!!! (9:09) Edge keeps his belt, and I'm 0-for-2 in my predictions! Great match - pretty darn stiff, too.
WWF Live commercial - gets your tickets now!
Flair's backstage on the phone. "Can you believe it, after all these years, we're finally gonna have one undisputed world champion.. It's awesome." There's a knock on the door. Ric ends his call, and there's Kurt Angle."Hey Kurt." "Rick Flair." "...yeah." "Ric Flair. You heard what Mr. McMahon said. He who laughs last, laughs loudest." "He said a lot of stupid things." "Oh Mr. Flair, I'm sorry - 14 time World Champion. The Nature Boy! The greatest there ever was! Well you know what? Ther's one thing you've never had, and will never win in your life.." "Angle holds up his medals "That's an Olympic Gold Medal." "Oh, I know. That's why you're the greatest ambassador of the sport." "I am, yeah!" "Awesome." "You know what else you've never one, Mr. Flair? You've never been Undisputed World Champion, and I'm gonna tonight! Sure, you were WWF Champion, NWA Champion, WCW Champion! But you were NEVER...the Undisputed Champion of The World, and I'm gonna do it tonight!" "Uh, yeah, you have the ability to." "I'm gonna!" "I believe ya!" "I will!" "You've got a good shot!" "Oh, I got a good shot, I have Stone Cold Steve Austin first. And when I kick his butt, I'm gonna sit back and watch Rock and Jericho KICK THE CRAP out of each other...and then when I see a winner, I'm gonna go down kick the crap out of HIM. And become the Undisputed World Champion." "If you can do all that, you'd be awesome." "Oh, I'm gonna!" "I believe ya!" "I'll do it!" "That's awesome!" "I'm gonna go out there and do it!" "That's awesome!" "I will!" Ric applauds."I believe ya. Now do it!" Angle leaves. Ric raises his hands in a stunned frustration "Unbelievable."
Afterwards, we're zoomed into a WWF patch on a ref's shirt - and we pull back to see that's pretty much all that's left of the referee "shirt" that Lita's wearing tonight. There's a knock on the door. "Come in!" It's Matt. "Hey." "Hey." "Howarya?" "I'm good." "Look, uh..." Matt takes her hands in his. "I know this has been a really tough time for all of us - especially you." "Yeah, it has been hard." "You know, Jeff and I - dragged you into the middle of our problems several times before, but never anything to this extent. And you know - and I know you know - how much this means to me tonight, how big this match it to me tonight. Because tonight, I get the opportunity to show that I am the brains of the Hardy Boyz. To show that I am the better wrestler. Tonight I get the opportunity to prove I make good decisions." "Matt, I know that, I know tonight is a really big night for you, and I also want you to know this, OK? As your girlfriend, I'm always on your side." Matt smiles. "But my job tonight is being the WWF referee. So I can't take sides Matt, I gotta call it right down the middle, just like I see it, OK?" Matt's less happy. "That's fine - you can call it right down the middle. You know why? Because Jeff's never going to get an opportunity to pin my shoulders down for the 1...2 3. Tonight, I'm gonna wipe the mat up with Jeff. "O...ok." "and you know what? After I do? How 'bout we got out - huuuuge celebration. We'll make it a Matt and Lita night, and we'll put all this behind us, once and for all." "Great/" "See you out there" "See you out there." ...Lita still doesn't look happy.
The Battle Of Cameron, North Carolina
Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy
Special Guest Referee - Lita The Cheat-a
A slick, not-seen-on-TV-until-Heat montage builds up the match very nicely. Hey, I bet I know whose music will play after the match!
Lita comes out first, followed by Jeff, then Matt. Thank goodness Lita is the guest ref, because God forbid that one of these guys win without out her help - I mean, that'd just be WRONG. Can a Hardy win BY HIMSELF tonight? Let's find out!
Lockup, Matt with a headlock, Jeff trying to power out, and finally reverses into a hammer lock. Matt reverses into a hammerlock of his own, takes Jeff down, and walks all over Jeff. Matt yells "C'mon, Jeff, you gotta think!" Another lock up, headlock by Matt, Jeff pushes him off the ropes, shoulder block by Matt. Off the ropes, Jeff drops down, Jeff's hip toss is blocked, so he arm drags Matt instead and locks on an arm bar. Jeff twists the arm - Matt drops and rolls on the ground but Jeff hangs on! Matt stands, uses the hair to back Jeff up, Jeff with an Irish whip, but Matt reverses it right into an elbow on Jeff. Body slam - Ted DiBiase Fist Drop! Cover, 1, 2, no. Matt rams Jeff into the turnbuckle - reverse knife-edge (Whoo!), knife-edge (Whoo!), Jeff reverses, knife-edge (Whoo!), reverse knife-edge (Whoo!), Matt with a thumb to the eye! Matt clotheslines Jeff on the top rope, and follows with a lariat. Cover, 1, 2, no. Rights by Jeff, off the ropes, sleeper hold by Matt! Jeff pushes him off the ropes and puts on a sleeper of his own, but Matt counters with a back suplex! Up to the second rope, aaaaaaaaa, leg drop MISSES! Jawbreaker by Jeff! Off the ropes, flying clothesline! Kick, whip to the corner reversed, Matt charges but eats boot. Now Jeff to the second rope, and JEFF with the aaaaaaaaaa, and HIS leg drop hits!! Cover, 1, 2, no! JR says Lita's count is "solid and deliberate". Whip into the corner reversed by Matt - Jeff climbs the ropes - going for the Whisper in the Wind, but Matt pushes his feet out and Jeff crotches himself. Matt drops him into the Tree of Woe - repeated kicks to the gut. Lita makes Matt back out, and LIta frees Jeff. The crowd BOOS, and Matt doesn't like it. JR calls it "good officiating". Quick roll-up by Matt - 1, 2, no.Matt throws Jeff out of the ring but Jeff lands on the apron. Matt charges - sunset flip, lands on his feet, going for the powerbomb, but Jeff counters with a hurricanrana. Ow, Jeff's head bounced right off the floor during that. Jeff manages to get up and throws Matt back into the ring. Matt's right is blocked, right by Jeff. Jeff flips over Matt and lands on his feet, but goes down, clutching his knee! Matt, who is SMART, sees this and starts stomping away immediately! Chop block! Matt ggrabs the leg and tries to pull ir right out of his body. Matt steps over the bad leg, says "Oh yeah!", and drives it down to the canvas! Matt says "That's right - you gotta think!" He steps over it again - "One more!" - and he does so. "Come on, Jeff!" Kick to the stomach - going for a piledriver (I think), but Jeff reverses into a Russian Leg Sweep. Jeff does the "I leg drop your legs" pinning combination, 1, 2, no! Matt grabs the bad leg - half-crab! Jeff doesn't give up - he slowly makes his way to the ropes, and make it there!But Matt won't break the hold! Lita starts counting "1! 2! What are you doing?! 3! 4!" Matt yells "Fine!!" and lets go. Nice! Matt goes for the Figure 4, but Jeff pushes him right out of the ring! Jeff limp-runs and connects with a baseball slide! Jeff going for the plancha but he can't put weight on his leg - he collapses! Matt back in, grabs the leg, but Jeff lands a reverse mule ick! Both men down, Lita's counting! But guys are up at 5. Exchanging rights, Jeff's right misses, boot to the gut, Twist of Fate NO, Jeff takes him down - leg drop to the groin! Back suplex! Jeff trying to climb to the top, but Matt's on his feet and nails him with a right, dropping him down. A couple more rights, and Matt slams Jeff from the top rope!! Matt taunting Jeff now - boot to the gut, Twist of Fate NO, Jeff pushes him into the ropes, a boot to Matt's gut, now JEFF going for the Twist of Fate but Matt counters into a backslide! 1, 2, NO! Kick by Jeff, goes for the piledriver but Matt dumps him over - Jeff trying for the sunset flip but Matt sits down on him! Cover, 1, 2, Matt's holding the ropes for leverage and Lita caught him! Matt's not happy about that and lips off to Lita, which allows Jeff to roll him up! 1, 2, no!! Big clothesline by Matt, "C'mon Jeff!", repeated boots send Jeff to the outside. Jeff rolls to the apron, Matt goes for the head into the turnbuckle but Jeff blocks and rams Matt's head instead. Jeff to the top rope AGAIN, and Matt catches him AGAIN, Matt climbs up, going for the Twist of Fate from the top rope(!), but Jeff pushes him off in the middle of it - SWANTON BOMB! Cover, 1, 2, Matt's leg is on the ropes, but Jeff pulls it off and hooks it, 3! (12:35) Lita didn't see Matt's foot on the rope, but it didn't matter, 'cause Jeff pulled it off....right! Matt's mad! He says his foot was on the rope! Lita raises Jeff's hand in victory! Matt rolls out and heads to the back, limping and NOT happy. Lita isn't happy either. Replay shows - yep, Jeff pulled his leg off before the 3 count. Are you legally allowed to pull the guys foot off like that? I guess so!
WWF Fanatic commerical for The Undertaker - it's HIS yard, y'know. Token outside shot of The Sports Arena follows.
Now we see The Rock's dressing room door - and there's Trish beside it! She knocks, and walks in! Rock's on the phone, but hands up when he sees Trish. "Hey!" says The Rock. Trish says "I just wanted to come in and talk to you about Thursday - it was SO amazing the way you stood up to Vince, you just took his face and shoved it into Rikishi's butt, it was SO amazing, I just wanted to tell you it was awesome!" "Well, good. Ok! Well, I appreciate it - thankyou" THE ROCK SAID "I"!!! "Hey, I know you have a HUGE match tonight, and I just thought I'd come and wish you good luck" Trish kisses Rock on the cheek. "Thankyou." Tirsh goes to leave. "whoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoa,whoa, whoa." Rock puts his phone down. "Where are you going?" Trish keeps trying to say something but Rock keeps interrupting her "Shhhhhhhhhhh. Just so you and The Rock are on the same page, the only thing that The Rock is concentrating on tonight the ONLY THING....that The Rock is concentrating on TONIGHT, is walking out of San Diego the Undisputed Champion. However...." Rock mouths "however"..."Ater tonight, after your big title match, after you win your big title match, and after The Rock goes out there and do what he does best and that's LAY THE SMACK DOWN on candy asses...they'll be plenty PLEN-TEE! of time...for you to smell..." The Rock smells. "...what The Rock" ...Rock gives a little pelvic thrust, and mouths the words "...is cookin'". Trish looks him up and down, and THEN.....he leaves his own dressing room?!? Trish smiles...and DOESN'T leave Rock's dressing room?!? HUH?!?
WWF Tag Team Championship
Kane & The Big Show vs. The Dudley Boyz
Champions enter first so The King can ogle Stacy's legs for a little longer before the match begins. Kane makes the corner explode, there's the cool Tag Team Championship graphic, and away we go!
Kane and D-Von to start. Kane's right misses, D-von with 2 rights, off the ropes, Kane's elbow misses, back body drop but D-Von lands behind him and pushes him into the ropes - Kanes flicks him off - D-Von runs into a big boot. Buh Buh decides to come in,, and gets back body drop for it. Double clothesline. Buh Buh rolls to the apron, but Kane hauls him back in - I guess Buh Buh's the new legal man? Tag made to the Big Show. Big right, Big elbow drops Buh Buh. Body slam - cover, 1, 2, no. Irish whip, Buh Buh hangs on to the ropes and asks D-Von for the tag, but D-Von's awfully reluctant to get into the ring - this gives Show time to grab Buh Buh and put on an arm wringer, but Buh Buh pkokes him in the eye and THEN tags D-Von, who runs right into a Sidewalk Slam. Cover, 1, 2, no. Whip into the corner, clothesline. Andre The Giant butt plant. There's a second. And the Show shakes it a little before giving D-Von the third. Buh Buh rushes, but gets clotheslined. Head butt sends D-von outside - Kane whips him back in and gives Buh Buh a shot. Show whips D-Von into the corner, then whips Kane into D-Von.then whips Kane into buh Buh, who for some reason decided to stand in the opposite corner. Kane whips Buh Buh into D-Von, then Kane whips Show into both Dudleyz! Kane throws Buh Buh to the outside, and Show does the same to D-Von. Kane to the top rope - double clothesline! Stacy decides to get in the ring and go over to the ropes to encourage her guys to get up, much to the Big Show's delight. He walks over and yanks down her skirt, revealing NOTHING! Just kidding, she's got some red undies on - just wanted to make sure you were paying attention. HAAA HAAA! Show takes her over his knee, licks his hand, and delivers a big smack to her right buttcheeck. Show's grinnin' from ear to ear as Stacy rolls out. Kane's back in - Kane whips him into the ropes as Buh Buh gets back in - two-man neckbreaker! Rights by D-Von, whip into the corner reversed, big choke hold broken up with a big boot to the leg by Buh Buh. Buh Buh takes a swing at Show, who takes a swing at him, and this distracts the ref enough so they can land the Whassup Drop on Kane. 3 rights by Buh Buh, 2 rights by Kane, d-Von grabs Kane - kane applies a chokehold on D-Von, but Buh Buh avalanches him from behind and tags D-Von. Double whip - double flapjack! They both nail Show and drop him to the flor! Set up for the 3D, but Kane boots D-Von and clotheslines Buh Buh! Show wants the tag and he gets it! Clotheslines on Buh Buh, D-Von, Buh Buh, D-Von, an elbow to Buh Buh, Irish whip on D-von - back body drop! Avalanche on Buh Buh! Going for the chokeslam, but Buh Buh chop blocks the Show!Kane nails D-Von and Buh Buh, then jumps to the outside. Show hits D-Von, then Buh Buh. Buh Buh's in the corner and Show wants him to come out - D'Von staggers to his feet and find himself back to back with Big Show while Kane climbs the top rope - D-Von ducks and Kane's clothesline hits the Show! Clotheslines for D-Von. Buh Buh covers, 1, Kane saves and dumps Buh Buh outside. Kane helps Show up, but Show is pissed and asks "what's that shit for??" While they're jabbering, The Dudleyz rush in and land some punches, but Kane and Show quickly take over and D-Von gets dumped to the outside - Kane follows. Irish whip on buh Buh by Show - big boot drops 'em. Big Show goes for an elbow but buh Buh ducks and the elbow catches Kane who was climbing back into the ring. Stacy thinks that's hilarious and lets Show know it - But Show grabs her! D-Von leaps at Show and...I don't know WHAT happened, because the camera cuts to Buh Buh removing the turnbuckle, but the Show it stunned. Both Dudleyz in now - double flapjack on the exposed turnbuckle! Cover, 1, 2, 3! (6:54) The Dudleyz retain! Here's a replay - oh, D-Von clotheslined Show off the top rope, THAT'S what happened. man, that flapjack on the turnbuckle was pretty nasty!
The WWF tells us not to try this at home. Hey, a new site - wwfeparents.com! I'm curious to know how many hits it gets.
WWF ShopZone ad - blah blah blah blah blah blah - register now and maybe recieve a call from a WWF Superstar, probably Essa Rios! Oh, wait.......
Meanwhile, Jeff is furiously packing his bags while Lita apologizes profusely. "I'm sorry, I didn't see your foot!" Matt stares at her....and takes off. Lita's upset, and pounds the door to show it!
WWF Hardcore Championship
The Undertaker vs. Rob Van Dam
As I view the montage shoing the build-up to this moment, I'll take this time to inform you that on Heat, we were informed that this match is now for the hardcore championship. The Undertaker must be thrilled, because if one title screams out R-E-S-P-E-C-T, it's the Hardcore title.
Champion enters last because HE'S SUPPOSED TO, ferthelovagod! I ccan't quite get used to the Undertaker with short hair, but I'll get there.
Lockup, Taker shoves Rvd down and into the corner, Taker charges but RVD ducks, kick to the reg, 4 forearms, Taker reverses, clothes misses, kick to the leg, shoculder block, another, back flip, RVD eats big boot. You'd think he's learn, don't ya? Elbow by Taker - cover, 1, 2, no. Lawler proclaims RVD's back-flip "stupid". That's the SMARTEST THING LAWLER HAS EVER SAID! Taker whips RVD into the corner, charges but eats elbow, RVD to the top - what the hell was THAT, a flying somersault clothesline? Cool! Cover, 1, 2, no! Spinning Heel kick - cover, 1, 2, no! Here's a replay - yep, I'm goin' with a somersault clotheslineHeadlock by RVD, but Taker crotches him on the top rope, and helps im off with a big boot to the head. Both men to the outside - Taker rams RVD's head into the steps. taker measures - big right. "Now we're goin' to school!", picks up RVD like a battering ram, but RVD pushes him sending him head-first into the pole. series of kicks don't drop the Taker, but a big clotheslines sends Taker FLYING over the protective barrier! RVD to the top of the barrier, and flies right into a right hand to the gut. Both men in the crowd now, Taker cragging him over to the hockey boards, a few rights, Taker grabs a fans flag from him and chokes RVD with it, much to the fans delight. "RVD" chant. Taker charges but gets a boot - MOONSAULT FROM THE BOARDS! Cover, 1, 2, no! Right by RVD - Taker looks stunned. Forearm, knee to the gut stops RVD, Taker whips him over a steel railing, which nicely lands on RVD's face. Taker decides to step on it to make RVD feel even worse. Now they're back by some crew equipment - RVD's head ir rammed into an equipment case. Big right, left to the kidney, right hand. Taker answers the fans RVD chants with "RVD's gettin' his ass kicked!" HAAA! Good stuff! Taker grabs a chair and nearly creams a stage hand with it. Heads toward RVD, but RVD sprays a fire extinguisher into his face! Taker throwing blind punches - Extinguisher shot to the stomach! Another to the knee! Kick to the head! stomp - now VD's got a trash can, and he cracks the Taker right over the head with it. Taker's looking pretty glassy-eyed. RVD goes up some stairs and onto a railing, abut 15 feet up - HIGH CROSS BODY!! Cover, 1, 2, NO! Their landing kicks up a whole whack of dust, which RVD is now choking on. Now they're wandering more towards the back - Taker's head is cracked up some steel, repeated shots by RVD, Taker falls over a whole mess of equipment in front of one of the Titantron screens by the entrance ramp. RVD covers, 1, 2, no! Now they're at the top of the entrance ramp, and RVD smokes Taker in the back with a trash can lid. Spinning leg drop - cover, 1, 2, no! Now Taker has RVd - Head butt drops 'em, stomp. Scoop, Taker rams RVD's head RIGHT INTO THE SIDING OF ONE OF THE TITANTRONS. OW! Taker looks COMPLETELY out of it. He raises his arm i- picks up RVD - goin' for the Last Ride, but RVD grabs onto the side of the TitanTron and climbs up the side of the TitanTron. RVD jumps down, turns, and gets ABSOLUTELY SMOKED by a Taker right hand. Ho-lee shit, what a punch. RVD's down - Taker to th back, and he brings out a chairhe raises it to hit RVD, but recieves a spinning kick to the gut. Stomp, running kick to the stomach, Rolling Thunder!! Cover, 1, 2, no! RVD's got the chair, Taker sitting against the TitanTron - running chair dropkick!! (JR: Van Daminator. Yikes.) Cover, 1, 2, NO! Taker manages to stand, and runs FACE-FIRST into the side of the TitanTron - he's OUT TO LUNCH. Van Dam throws the chair - Taker catches - Van Daminator MISSES! Taker with a chair shot to the back! And another! Taker signalling for the tombstone on the chair, but RVD gets free and pushes Taker ALMOST off the stage. RVD with the chair - throws it again - Taker catches again - Van Daminator MISSES again - goozle, CHOKESLAM OFF THE STAGE THROUGH TWO TALBES!!! Taker climbs down, cover, 1, 2, 3!!! (11:04). Taker's eyes are as wide as saucers - he's looks COMPLETELY scrambled. RVD, meanwhile, hasn't moved at all. Man, what a VICIOUS match. I withdraw my "Hardcore Belt = respect" sarcastic remark. We get a few replays of the chokeslam, while Taker manages to get on his bike and drive up the ramp without crashing. RVD STILL hasn't moved. Wow.
Flair's backstage on the phone again, when he's interrupted again, this time by Chris Jericho. "Hang up the phone. Hang up the phone you gotta deal with ME now, Nature Boy? Ric Flair? here inside your luxuriousbeautiful dressing room - man you got everying in here. You got it all. You got all the confidence in the world, don't ya? But the one thing you don't have confidence in, I can feel it. You don't have confidence in Chris Jericho. You don't think I can become the Undisputed Champion tonight, do ya? NOBODY thinks I can do it!" I do, Chris! "If you can pull it off, more power to ya." "That's what I'm talkin' about, it's not 'if, it's 'when. I have beaten the Rock TWICE. TWICE!! And tonight, I'm gonna beat him for a third time, and walk out of this arena, and become the Undisputed Champion, whether it's Angle or Austin, first it's The Rock, then it's one of them, then, it's all about Chris Jericho and the Undisputed Championship. Do you understand me Flair? Huh?" "If you can pull it off, you will be the man!" "That's right, I will be the man, I already AM the man, and tomorrow night on Raw, you can personally come into that ring and present me ith the one thing that you never had in your entire career. The Undisputed Championship. Tomorrow night in the centre of the ring, The Living Legend Y2J and Ric Flair. Tomorrow night." "I'm gonna promise you this, becuase yer gettin' me excited now. I AM gonna walk the aisle tomorrow night at Raw, and I'm gonna crown SOMEone Undisputed World Heavyweight Champion, and if you can pull if off tonight, more power to ya." "Alrght Flair - then I'll see you...tomorrow." Ric nods his head in apparant approval.
"Pride" Video for Triple H done to "Beautiful Day" by U2 - so everybody else gets "My Sacrifice", but HHH gets "Beautiful Day"? He DOES have backstage power!! Still a cool video, though.
WWF Women's Championship
Trish Stratus vs. Jacqueline
Trish enters first because she's Canadian, but at least she WEARS her belt! Apparantly, only CANADIANS know that yer supposed to WEAR your belts! I'm just SO PUMPED for this match - I mean wow, the BUILD-UP! Let's goooooooo!
Lockup, Jackie backs Trish up, they break. Lockup again, headlock by Trish, whip into the ropes, shoulder block by Trish, off the ropes, Jackie sidesteps and rolls her up, 1, 2, no. Jackie with a couple STIFF forearms, Irish whip, back body drop. "We Want Puppies" chant. Irish whip, back body drop telegraphed so Trish lands a kick, and another. jackie pushes Trish away, then pushes the ref away.Jackie into the corner, Trish follows but Jackie nails her with a forearm. Stomps and slaps, body slam. And another. "Get up!" Jackie picks Trish up - clothesline by Trish. Cover, 1, 2, no. Trish's kick is caught, and a back foot sweep sends Trish CRASHING to the mat. Wow! Irish whip into the corner by Jackie, charages, but Trish dodges and rolls her up from behind (sorta) 1, no. Big clothesline by Jackie. Jackie's KICKIN' THE SHIT out of her! Irish whip, back body drop by Jackie. back suplex but Trish lands on her feet. Big elbow by Jackiesecond one misses, reverse knife-edge by Trish (Wooo!). Stratisfaction NO, Jackie tosses her off. Off the ropes, Jackie NAILS Trish in the back of the head with a VICIOUS dropkick, but Lawler's too busy looking at Trish's black bra to notice. Cover, 1, 2, no! 2 kicks, whip into the corner but Trish stops herself, she turns around and they bump heads - both girls are down. Ref counts...1...2...3...they're up. Trish with a backslide, 1, 2, 3! (3:35) Hey, say what you want about the one blown spot, but that was a solid match. Jackie and Trish shake hands and Trish celebrates. That was the stiffest women's match I think I've ever seen. Too bad Lawler's too busy drooling to even bother to notice that the match was GOOD!
SmackDown! flashback of the whole Rock/Vince/JR/Trish/Rikishi ass thing - oh goodie.
Meanwhile, Rikishi's at WWF New York, and they've removed the "Phat" from his "Rikishi Phat Wear" jacket. Rikishi expresses how happy he was putting the Stink Face on Vince, and that he's back, and is ready to Back That Ass Up. Oh goodie.
Undisputed Champion of Wrestling Semi-Final #1
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Kurt Angle
Champion enters last again - wow, that's TWICE! Angle's got new wrestling tights again, and it's his birthday - does that mean he'll win? Let's find out! Big staredown, and we're underway!
Both guys circling - Austin wants the Test of Strength, they get one hand locked, but Austin changes his mind and breaks it. Lockup, they move around the ring locked up, neither guy able to get an advantage. Austin backs Angle into a corner....and sloooowly breaks cleanly. another lockup, Angle backs Austin in to the corner, ref trying to break it, but Angle get sa quick shot in before breaking - this makes both guys smile. "Angle Sucks" chant. Lockup, Austin with a knee to the gut, punches, stomps, HUGE knife-edge, another, another, Irish whip, Kurt grabs the ropes and goes outside for a breather. Ref starts to count him out, angle slowly makes his way back into the ring. Lockup, Angle goes behind, takes down Austin, Angle landing Punches until AUSTIN rolls outside for a quick break. Austin quickly back in, and tells Angle what he thinks with a double one-finger salute. Lockup, Angle goes behind, Austin with an arm wringer, Angle reverses, headlock, Austin whips him off, shoulder block by Angle, off the ropes, elbow by Austin. Stomp on the hand, knife edge, another, 3, 4, right, irish whip, kick is blocked, Angle goin' for the Anklelock but Austin rolls forward and breaks it. Angle's right blocked, 5 rights by Austin, Irish whip, clothesline misses, Angle with a waistlock, but Austin breaks and wrings the arm, snapping it 4 times. Twist of the arm, a few more snaps. Angle counters, but Austin with the ol' thumb to the eye! Austin chokes Angle on the second rope - breaks, then does it again. Austin puts Angle in the corner, and puts pressure on the arm by wrapping it around the rope. Ref tries to break them and does. Knife edge, right, Angle with 4 rights, Irish whip reversed, Austin tosses Angle our of the ring! Austin follows, and rams Angle's left shoulder into the pole! And again! And a third time! Austin rams Angle's head into the steps and rolls him in. Angle with some stomps now. "What?" chant. Right, irish whip, Angle put his head down - armbar takedown! Cover, 1, 2, no! Head into the turnbuckle by Austin, 2 knife-edges, right, knife-edge, another, another, Irish whip reversed, clotheline misses, waistlock by Austin, but Angle rolls forward RIGHT INTO THE ANKLELOCK!! Austin desperately trying to get to the ropes......and Angle pulls him back! "Tap, Austin!! Tap!" Austin crawls to the ropes....and makes it! big right by Kurt, another, and another, charges, but Austin back body drops him out of the ring! Austin follows and rams Kurt into the Spanish announcers table, and again. Knife edge, two, three, Austin rolls Kurt in. he follows but Angle goes back outsideAustin starts to follow but Angle grabs Austin's leg and smack it against the ringpost! Right , Leg smacked against the pole again, right hand, leg smack again, right, another, knife-edge, another, a third, a fourth! FIGURE 4 AROUND THE RING-POST BY ANGLE!!!! The ref makes him break it! both men back in - RIGTHT BACK INTO THE ANKLELOCK! But Austin somersaults forward and kicks Angle off! Belly to belly overhead suplex by Angle! Austin in the corner, Kurt walks into a knife edge, and gets 2 more before raking Austin's eyes. Into the corner, right hands floor Austin, stomps o' plenty. Angle picks him up, right, right, Austin with a right, another, a third, 4, 5, 6, 7, Irish whip reversed by Angle - Austin goes in sternum-first - German Suplex by Angle! Holding on for a second!! AND A THIRD!! Cover, 1, 2, no! Stomps by Angle. Angle going up top - MOONSAULT MISSES!! There's a replay! Clothesline by Austin! Another! Irish whip, chop misses, Lou Thesz press and lots o' punches! Angle charges - spinebuster by Austin! Cover, 1, 2, NO! Angle BARELY got his shoulder up. Angle rakes the face, club to the head, right, whip reversed, Austin goes behind, German Suplex! HE holds on for two! Angle throws Elbows, but Austin hangs on for THREE! THERE'S A FOURTH!!!! AND A FIFTH!!!!!!!!! Cover, 1, 2, NO! Angle trying to go outside but Angle stops him - Low Blow by Angle! ANGLE SLAM!!! Cover, 1, 2, NO!! Angle is throwing a tantrum, jumping up and down! Austin's up, ANGLE STUNNER NO, Austin pushes him off the ropes, STONE COLD STUNNER!! Angle falls like a big piece of timber!! Cover, 1, 2, 3!!! (15:05) GREAT match - Austin retains, and will wrestle again tonight!! But against WHO? Here's a replay of the finish
Trish is in the back, putting on lipstick or something, wearing only a towel, when Test decides to barge in. "Hellooooo, good lookin'!" "What are you doing here?!" "Y'know Trish, I was doin' some thinkin' - last week, you gave Rock a thank-you kiss. Well tonight, I thought I'd make you the luckiest chick on the planet, and come in here and give you a little congratulations kiss. But before you get too excited, I know what yer thinkin'. Why am I, Trish Stratus, getting the opportunity to touch...a big, good looking, well-groomed man like myself." Trish is laughing at Test - HOW DARE SHE?!? "but I can understand that - that's every chick's reaction. But baby, I gotta tell ya, once you've had Test..." Test flicks some lint off his well-groomed body "....you can forget about the rest. Now PUCKER UP BABY, this is YOUR lucky night!!" Test moves in, but Trish says "Are you crazy?!" "What? What are you kiddin' me? what are you, one of THOSE chicks? What, yer a tease? Or what? You gonna rat me out - try to get me fired? You CAN'T get me fired! You can't touch me! NOBODY can touch me!!" Trish freaks out and throws Test out of her room - HOW SHE CAN RESIST THE GOD OF WHITBY ONTARIO IS BEYOND MY CAPABILITIY OF UNDERSTANDING.
Undisputed Champion of Wrestling Semi-Final #2
The Rock vs. Chris Jericho
Champion enters first because JERICHO IS BETTER!
Staredown to start, they circle, and lock up. Rock with a headlock, cinching it in, Jericho whips him off, shoulder block by Rock. Off the ropes, Jericho goes low, Jericho leapfrogs, Jericho runs into an arm drag! And another! Rock with the arm bar - Rock with a punch for good measure. Jericho somersaults and nips up to get out of it, hammerlock into a headlock. Rock PULLS THE HAIR - cheater! Off the ropes, shoulder block by Jericho, off the ropes, Rock goes low, Rock leapfrogs, right hand by Rock floors Jericho, and there's another. Jericho tries to go outside but Rock won't let him. Head to the turnbuckle, whip to the corner, big clothesline by Jericho. Irish whip, spinning heel kick by Jericho. Rock's on the outside. Springboard dropkick keeps him there! Jericho celebrates! Follows outside, right hand, rams Rock's head into the Spanish announce table, again NO it's blocked, and Rock rams Jericho's head into the table a couple of times! Rock tries to ram Jercho's head into the stairs, but Jericho reverses and rams Rock's head instead. Jericho to the top rope - flying elbow drops Rocks! Cover, 1, 2, no! Another cover, 1, no! Mounted rights, picking Rock up - suplex! Jericho puts a foot on Rock's chest and POSES, yelling "Come on, bay-bah!!!" Rock quickly rolls out. Boot by Y2J. Another. Choke on the second ropeKnife edge, another, irish whip, clothesline misses, back elbow misses, flying clothesline by Rock! Cover, 1,2, no! Rock's whip is reversed - Rock swings and misses - back suplex! Cover, 1, 2, no! "Rocky" chant - Jericho doesn't like that. Jericho motioning for Rock to get up - big clothesline. cover, 1, 2, no. Head into the turnbuckle, series of kicks drops Rock. Cocky slaps to the face!!! Yes! Irish whip reversed, back body drop NO kick to the face by Jericho, off the ropes, belly to belly suplex by The Rock! Samoan Drop! Cover, 1, 2, no! big right by the Rock, Irish whip reversed, Jericho with a SLEEPER......AND IT'S WORKING!! The Rock's down to one knee! Crowd chanting, to no avail!! The Rock's got his hand up...now it drops! His eyes are closing! He's down on the mat! His eyes are closing - I think he's out! Jericho: "Ask him! Ask him!" Come on, give up!" Earl Hebner checks the arm - it falls! 1! Checks again, falls again! that's 2! Check again.....but the arm doesn't fall the third time! Rock somehow gets to his feet, punches to Jericho's stomach breaks the sleeper, a few more rights, off the ropes, Jericho lands an elbow! LIONSAULT NO, But Jericho lands on his feet! Jericho's right is blocked, big right by Rock! Jericho's right blocked again, right, right, right, spit, right MISSES, off the ropes, bulldog by jericho! LIONSAULT!!! Cover, 1, 2, NOOO!!! Jericho's furious! He kicks the bottom rope in disgust! He SHOVES HEBNER! He SHOVES HEBNER AGAIN! Hebner SHOVES BACK, and asserts his authority! The crowd liked that! Suplex by Jericho! Jericho to the top rope, but Rock hits the ropes and Jericho crotches himself! right, chop, chop, chop, chop, Rock climbing to the seond rope - suplerplex NO, Jericho pie-faces him off! Jericho on the top - waves for Rock to get up - HIGH CROSS BODY BUT THE ROCK ROLLS THROUGH! 1, 2, NO!!! Quick clothesline by Jericho. Stomps. Chop, another, whip into the corner, Jericho charges but Rock sidesteps and Jericho whacks his head on the pole and goes FLYING to the outaide! Both men on the outside - Rock trying to clothesline jericho on the barrier but Jericho counters and does it to The Rock! Rock on the ground - catapult right into the ring post! Jericho looks at the announcers table - and gets an idea. He clears off JR's and The King's monitor and fan and whatever else is on the table, walks over, hammers Rock, rams his head into the Spanish table, Jericho breaks the count, then dumps Rock onto the table! Jericho going for the Rock Bottom, but NO, Rock fires off some elbows - DDT THROUGH THE TABLE BY THE ROCK!!! Both men down! The ref's not counting them out, though! Earl's trying to get them back into the ring! Rock finally gets up and is about to get in the ring, when HE shoves Hebner. Here's a replay of the DDT. Rock picks up Jericho and goes to roll him in, but Jericho collapses. Big right by Rock floors Jericho - Rock measures - another big right. Now Rock rolls him in. Rock follows - Rock measuring for the Rock Bottom - ROCK BOTTOM NO, Jericho fires off elbows, full nelson, BREAKDOWN, AND A BEAUTY!!!!! Jericho's BARELY up...Senton Splash! Jericho holding his head...staring at The Rock....he KICKS THE SHOULDER IN! HE TAKES OFF THE ELBOW PAD!! HE GIVES THE SCREW YOU SYMBOL TO THE FANS!! Off the ropes, and again, JERICHO ELBOW NOOOO, The Rock hops up, SHARPSHOOTER BY THE ROCK, but Jericho almost IMMEDIATELY rolls right out of it - SHARPSHOOTER BY JERICHO! Beautiful!! Rock screaming in pain - they're right in the centre of the ring!!! Jericho looks like he's losing the hold, but hangs on! Rock sloooooowly crawling towards the bottom rope.....but he's fading!!! His eyes are closing!! His arm is barely moving! He mght be out!!! But Rock gets a final bit of strength and BARELY makes it to the rope! Jericho breaks! Pulls Rock to the centre to re-apply it, SMALL PACKAGE BY THE ROCK, 1, 2, NOOOOO! Jericho charges, ROCK BOTTOM!!! But The Rock can't capitalize! The ref starts counting! 1...2...3...Rock rolling over to try and cover, but awwww, here comes Vince waving his arms wildly - he's up on the apron, Hebner telling him to get off - Rock's pinning Jericho but Hebner doesn't see it! Rock gets up, walks over, and HAMMERS Vince with a right hand! Jericho's up, he charges - right into a spinebuster! Now ROCK kicks the shoulder in! Now ROCK takes off the Elbow pad! Off the ropes, but Vince is on the apron again to Rock hauls him into the ring and finishes the PEOPLE'S ELBOW on Jericho! Right, right, right, apit, BIG RIGHT on Vince! Heads over to Jericho - LOW BLOW BY JERICHO! ROCK BOTTOM BY JERICHO!!!! Cover! 1!! 2!! 3!!!!!!!!!!!!! (19:07) The Fink says "The winner of thiis bout, and NEWWWW World Champion, Chris Jericho!!" Jericho finds the strength to hoist his belt from his knees, but the glass breaks, Jericho's eyes go as wide as saucers, and we're RIGHT INTO THE FINAL!!!!
Match to Determine The Undisputed Champion of Wrestling
Stone Cold Steve Austin (WWF Champion) vs. Chris Jericho (World Champion)
Austin heads down, still limping from his match, rolls in, and goes right to Jericho! Hebner tring to tell him the bell hasn't rung yet, but Austin isn't listening - Right to Jericho drops him in the corner - Hey, there's Kurt Angle with a chair!!! He SMOKES AUSTIN with the chair!!! What a sore loser!!! Jericho slowwwwly getting to his feet, but The Rock's back in the ring! ROCK BOTTOM!!! What a sore loser!!!!! Rock spots Angle, and sprints after him to the back! THERE's the bell, and THERE's a totally groovy Undisputed Championship match graphic!! But both men are down, and Hebner's counting! 1....2....3....4....5....6....7....8....Jericho rolls over and pins Austin! 1! 2! NO!!! Stomps by Jericho - chop, another, a third, Irish whip reversed, flying forearm by Jericho! Standing mounted punches, whip into the corner, clothesline! Forearm, kick, kick, kick, "Come on Austin! Fuck you Austin!", kick, Hebner moves Jericho back, Jericho pushes Hebner out of the way and runs right into an Austin spear! Austin with a bunch o' mounted punches, picks up Jericho, head into the turnbuckle, again, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13!! Double bird, kick to the gut, STONE COLD STUNNER NOOO Jericho drops and rolls to the apron, but Austin comes running and flattens Jericho and sends him flying to the ground! Austin follows - chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop! OW! Series of rights floors jericho - kick, kick, scoop - jericho's dropped across the protective barrier!Austin dumps him over it, then brings him back over again. Whip into the ringpost! And AGAIN! Austin is EXPOSING THE CONCRETE!! Picks up Jericho, but Jericho floors Austin with a couple of rights. Austin's head bounces off the concrete - OW! Now jericho takes the top off the Spanish Announcers Table - both men standing - Suplex NO Austin with a series of rights to the gut, Double bird, kick is caught, Jericho trying for the Walls of Jericho, but Austin send him flying off the table to the ground! SUPLEX ON THE CONCRETE BY AUSTIN! OWWW!!!! That was a SICKENING THUD when they landed. Austin throws Jercho in the ring - picks him up - knee to the gut, into the corner, whip to thr corner, Austin charges but Jericho sidesteps and Austin's spear goes right into the ringpost HARD. Jericho rams his shoulder into the ringpost again! Wrenching the arm! Chop, another, forearm, Irish whip, drop kick but Austin hangs onto the ropes - Austin catapults Jericho into the turnbuckle! Clothesline!! Cover, 1, 2, no! Jericho rolls over Austin and puts on an armbar submission hold!! USING THE ROPES FOR LEVERAGE!! Hebner's looking at Austin and doesn't see it! Austin won't quit! NOW Hebner sees it and kicks Jericho's feet off! Jericho breaks the hold - knee to the gut - suplex! Jericho heads to the top, but not without saying "Shut your mouth, asswipes!" to some fans! Jericho jumps off but got a right hand to the gut by Austin! Head into the turnbuckle - chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, Irish whip, back body drop but Jericho rolls through, 2-count but Jericho's not paying attention - WALLS OF JERICHO!! Austin crawling to the ropes - he can't reach it! NOW he does, and Jericho breaks. Stomps by Jericho. Forearm, chop, Irish whip reversed, flying forearm but Austin ducks and it hits HEBNER, sending him flying to the outside! Rights by Austin, Irish whip, elbow! LOW BLOW by Jericho - Y2J STUNNER!!!!!!!!!!!!! Both men down - oh man, here comes Vince AGAIN, and he's bringing anothe ref - it's Nick Patrick in a WWF shirt! Nick telling Jericho to pin Austin, but Ric Flair is out and he pulls Patrick out, and hammers him! But he's got his back to Vince - Vince turns Flair around and hammers HIM!!! Vince RUNS FLAIR INTO THE RINGPOST! Jericho with some shots, but now AUSTIN LANDS A LOW BLOW!! Austin sees Vince on the outside, rolls out, and hammers Vince! Stomps on Vince! Austin rolls back in, Jericho's right BLOCKED, right, right, right, right, Irish whip, back elbow misses, Lou Thesz press! Plenty O' Punches!! Austin drops the Elbow! into the corner, 3 chops, whip into the corner, Austin charges but eats boot! Jericho up to the seond rope, "Come on!" Drop kick but Austin catches him - WALLS OF AUSTIN!!! And JERICHO IS TAPPING!!!!!!!!!!! But there's no referee to see it!!! Wait, there's Booker T! BELT SHOT ON AUSTIN!!! Booker runs out through the crowd just as fast as he ran in!!!! Vince shoves Earl Hebner into the ring!!! Jericho COVERS!!! ONE!!! TWO!!! THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (12:34) Ladies and gentleman, boys ad girls, children of all ages, YOUR WINNER, and YOUR UNDISPUTED CHAMPION OF WRESTLING, CHRISTOPHER F'N JERICHO!!!! All Canadian wrestling fans everywhere FREAK OUT, and Howard Finkel says the most lovely words he's ever said in his life: "The winner of this bout, and UNDISPUTED CHAMPION, Chris Jericho!!!" Confetti falls from the rafters, noisemakers go off like crazy, and Vince McMahon is laughing last and laughing loudest!! Jericho stumbles to the back, a belt in each hand, and a grin that would light up Manitoba! Vince raises Jericho's arm in victory and Austin has a stunned look while confetti falls on him. HUGE WWF logo and THAT'S IT!!!!
Well, I got the two semi-finals right, but the final wrong - but I've never been so happy to be wrong. Overall, I went 6 for 9 - better than I normally do - but I could care less, becuase JERICHO IS THE MAN! Wrestling-wise, I cannot remember a more solid PPV up and down the line-up in recent memory - there were NO bad matches AT ALL, the women's match was MUCH better than I expected (although Lawler's drooling really took away from it, which is a shame), Regal/Edge was great, RVD/Undertaker was terrific (and VICIOUS), the tag matches were solid, especially considering their build-up equalled absolutely NOTHING - my only complaint would be perhaps some overbooking in the ending of the Rock/Jericho - I would've let Jericho beat Rock cleanly, then leave the final match the way it was - but, I'll get over that in a BIG stinkin' hurry. The bottom line is; Jericho becoming the Undisputed Champion Of Wrestling = BEST PPV EVER.
Hey, it's only 6:00, I'm getting faster!! Gooooood NIGHT!!
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