You are here
No Way Out

17.2.2

By BrewGuy

BLAH

....are you scared? THEY'RE HERE.

Opening Montage - nothing. Absolutely nothing. Zip, zero, nix, nada, nyente, nothing. The WWF just gave me at least an extra 20 minutes of sleep...God love 'em.

Plenty O' Pyro and a Zombie named Rob inform us that we are LIVE from Milwaukee. WI! Championships will be decided, the main event for WrestleMania in Toronto will be determined, The Rock has Vengence on his mind (but that PPV is over!), and what effect will the nWo have? Let's find out!

....well, if you had "immediately" in your local When Will The nWo Show Up office pool, hot dog yer a wee-ner, 'cause, the screen goes black and white, we get a strobe-light effect, the porno music plays, and there they are - the nWo - Hulk Hogan, Scott Hall, and Kevin Nash make their way to the ring. The crowd cheers lustily, Nash and Hall side-point to Hogan, and I shake my head and can't help but smile as I realize that these guys really are back in the WWF. The strobe light effect stops, we're quickly back to the colour shot, and Nash has a mic! "Y'know,...we're here tonight to set the record straight. We came in here earlier today, and you would NOT BELIEVE the amount of heat we had with the boys. Some of the stares...we're actually kinda frightening. And for what? I mean, becuase of some reputation we have? I mean in the last couple of weeks, words have been thrown around in association with the nWo like...pioson...cancer...y'know some people save that we're self-servinig.....y'know some people have actually used profanity, and said that the nWo is a bunch of 'company-killing bastards'. And speaking for myself and my two friends here, let me tell you something. That hurts our feelings. I mean, what is it we've done - what awful thing did we do? I mean, all we want is a fair chance - a clean slate. We want the ability to come out and prove to you GREAT FANS (crowd cheers for this) not only can we do it, but nobody does it quite....like us." Nash hands the mic to Scott Hall. "Hey, yo." Crows goes nuts, and Hall grins in spite of himself. So do I. "We're not the bad guys! Heck...we're a bunch of marks. We're fans. We just want the opportunity to work with some of the great WWF superstars. I mean, we might even get some autographs...maybe take some pictures...if we're lucky, we might even get to drink some beer with the boys." Nash holds him back and shakes his head - Hall says "just 1?" to Nash, but him and Hogan shake their fingers. HA! "But the point is...we don't want any trouble. Because deep down...we're just like all of you." Nash hands the mic to Hogan, and the crowd cheers and chants "Hogan" for a full forty seconds before Hogan can speak. "Y'know Scott and Kevin I couldn't agree with you more - we're just like all of you out there. I mean, we might be a little richer, a little more famous, but - I mean, we're not here to kill the WWF. We're here to make it better. All we wanna do is give the WWF exactly what they want - and all we want from you..is a chance. But it's up to all of you out there - and all the boys in the back if we get our chance - that remains to be seen. But I can tell you one thing right now. In all sincerity there's one man who gave the nWo a chance...and that was Vince McMahon. And right now I'd like to thank Vince McMahona for the opportunity, and I wanna tell you Vince Mcmahon, we will not let you down. God bless Vince McMahon, thankyou. And God bless all of you, too! And last of all, God bless America. Thankyou for the chance." The porno music plays - Hogan looks emotional and gets a hug from Nash...a hug from Scott Hall - and Nash and Hall give each other a hug. JR isn't convinced, while Lawler says "Maybe they've changed for the better." I hope so. That's an interesting way to start off the evening, I'll say that much.

Tag Team Turmoil
Scotty II Hotty & Albert vs. Lance Storm & Christian vs. The Dudley Boyz vs. The Hardy boyz vs. The APA vs. Billy & Chuck


Scotty & Albert and Christian & Storm will start it off - a new team will come in once one team has been defeated. Lance starts with Scotty and away we go!

Lockup, headlock by Storm, Scotty whips him off, shoulder block by Storm. Scotty drops down, Scotty leapfrogs, hip toss is blocked, Scotty does the "I put my leg on your head and do a backflip" into a schoolboy, 1, 2, no. Right by Scotty, tag to Albert. Albert with a gorilla press. He drops Storm when Christian charges - giant swing!! Storm from behind, Irish whip is reversed, axe kick!! Cover, 1, 2, Christian saves. Albert didn't like that so while Christian talks trash to the crowd, Albertheadbutts him. Storm with a right, Christian clotheslines him off the top rope - niiiice calf kick by Storm. Cover, 1, kickout WITH AUTHORITY - in fact, Storm is thrown right out of the ring. He's quickly back in, applies a headlock, tag to Christian. Assorted rights, double Irish whip, double clothesline by Albert. Tag to Scotty. Right for Christian, right for Storm, right to Christian misses - full nelson, Storm charges but is backdropped to the floor! Scotty breaks free with an elbow, Bulldog NO, Slop Drop NO, super-kick! Cover, 1, 2, Storm saves, and dumps Scotty to the outside. Albert's in and he floors Storm, then whips Christian into the corner, whips Storm into Christian Avalanche but both men dodge and clotheslineAlbert out - Storm hit him so hard that HE goes flying out of the ring too, which allows Scotty to sneak up - bulldog! He's dancing! W-OI-R-M Hoo Hoo OHH Storm interrupts much to the crowds unhapiness - Storm's super-kick is blocked, right floors him, but Christian's in from behind - Unpretter! cover, 1, 2, 3! (2:58). Next team in is The Hardy Boyz (with Lita). They rush the ring, Jeff hammered Christian, Matt hammering Storm. Clothesline-like takedown by Matt on Storm, Jeff Irish whips Christian but it's reversed, Jeff slides under a right hand - Atomic Drop - no, it's a flapjack! OW! Slam by Matt, to the corner, aaaahhh, but Storm kicks him off! christian tags Storm. kick, kick, leg drop. Cover, 1, 2, no. Lawler feels good about tonight after the nWo's heart-felt speech. JR doesn't buy it.Rights by Matt but a jawbreaker followed by a big dropkick floors him. Cover, 1, 2, no. Tag to Christian. Right, right, matt with rights, Irish whip, Matt telegraphs the back body drop and gets kicked - Christian charges and is clotheslined onto the top rope. Both men down...Christian tags Storm, and Matt tags Jeff Clothesline for Storm, right to Christian, takedown toStorm, Nutbuster Legdrop! Christian from behind, Irish whip, flying forearm by Jeff. Storm charges - Russian leg sweep by Jeff, who rolls right through and drops his legs on Storms for the pin - 1 2, Christian saves. matt and Christian on the outside trading punches. Meanwhile, in the ring, Irish whip by Jef is revsersed - leg takedown right into the Half Crab!! Jeff about to tap but Matt saves, boot, Twist of Fate NO Chrsitian with a boot, holds Matt, Calf kick but Matt ducks and nails Chrsitian! There's the Twist of Fate, there's the Swanton Bomb. Cover, 1, 2, 3. (6:15). Lita waves for the next opponents, because she hasn't had a chance to cheat yet. The next team is The Dudley Boyz. They rush the ring - Jeff on Buh Buh, Matt on D-Von. D-Von is floored by Matt, Jeff whips Buh Buh into the corner - Poerty In Motion. D-Von whip is revsersed - Poerty In Motion NO, buh Buh yanks Jeff down by the hair. D-Von takes the opportuntiy to club Matt who slides out of the ring. D-Von picks up Jeff, whip into the corner buut D-Von eats boot - Buh Buh grabs Jeff and Irish whips him from the apron - powerslam by D-Von. Cover, 1, 2, no. Tag to Buh Buh. Irish whip, Buh Buh tosses Jeff in the air and catches his legs - here's a funky-ass leg submission move!! (anbody know the name, if any?) Matt's in to save. D-Von is now in - a big right floors Jeff. There's a bunch of them, and a leg choke. Irish whip, Torpedo Elbow. Cover, 1, 2, no. Tag to Buh Buh. Slam by Buh Buh - he's going up to the second rope for the Senton, but Matt distracts him, and Jeff punches him right in the gonads...oh THAT's nice. Buh Buh shovesJeff up on the ropes - going for a suplerplex but Buh Buh shoves him off - NOW he tries the senton, but it SHOKINGLY misses. Both teams Tag! Matt floors D-von with a right - then a clothesline. Buh Buh is in, and he gets a DDT. Whip to the ropes is reversed but D-Von eats boot, ahhhhhh, leg drop by Maatt. Cover, 1, 2, Buh Buh pulls him off, which earns him a dropkick from Jeff. Both Hardyz with a combination Russian leg sweep/cothesline. Cool! Jeff clothesline D-Von to the outside. Matt going for the Twist Of Fate but Stacy Keibler's in the ring and she pulls Matt off by the hair, so Lita comes in the ring and spears her, mounts her, and lands many punches. In the meantime, Buh Buh floors Matt, grabs Lita but Matt saves her - Irish whip reversed - Buh Buh Bomb! But Lita's on the top rope - Cheatacanrana! Now Jeff's on the top rope - HOLY SHIT a Swanton on a STANDING Buh Buh to the outside! D-Von is beating on Matt - Reverse Suplex NO Matt rolls him up and HOOKS THE TIGHTS - 1, 2, 3!!(10:56). They are SUCH cheaters! D-Von's unhappy so he hammers Matt, goes to the outside - 3-D ON THE FLOOR ON JEFF! Stacy: "How'd you like that, Jeff?" Here's a replay of the Swanton to the outside, and the 3-D on the floor. Meanwhile, Billy and Chuck come rushing in. Matt starts firing punches on Gunn but Palumbo attacks from behind. Whip into the corner, Palumbo whips Gunn in but Matt dodges and Funn eats ringpost - and there's a clothesline for Palumbo. Kick to the stomach on Gunn, twist Of Fate NO, Gun pushes him right into a Palumbo super-kick! There's the Famouser! Cover, 1, 2, 3!(12:26). Jeff's still down on the outside, Billy's bleeding from the nose, and here comes the APA. Billy rushes Bradshaw - they trade punches on the outside, while Farooq and Chuck trade punches on the inside. Whip into the corner by Chuckbut he eats elbow - and a shoulder block from the second rope. Cover, 1, 2, no. Tag to Bradshaw. Head into the turnbuckle, knee, right, chop, knee, forearm to the back of the head, right, whip to the corner is reversed - clothesline by Palumbo. 360 punch floors Bradshaw again. Irish whip reversed, clothesline misses, high cross body but Bradshaw catches him - fall-away slam. Tag to Farrooq. Double whip, double shoulder block, and Bradshaw nails Gunn for good measure. Cover, 1,2, no. Gun punches Farrooq, Farrooq tries to respond but misses - neckbreaker. Palumbo with some kicks but Farrooq fires back - there's a knee by Chuck. Double team in the corner - reg breaks it up and keeps Bradshaw back. Farrooq's on the outside now and Chuck follows him - big right drops 'em. Gunn nails Bradshaw and floors HIM - now he's MAD. Gunn and Farrooq in the ring now - kick, kick, kick, side headlock, eye rake. Farrooq with some punches, Gun with a kick, off the ropes - Spinebuster by Farrooq! Both men down! Ref starts the count...there's a replay of the spinebuster. Farrooq slooowwlly crawls to the corner - and tags Bradshaw! Shoulder block to chuck - Irish whip, big boot! Whip to the corner, clothesline! And another! Chuck gets dumped to the outside! Gunn whips Bradshaw to the corner and charges but Bradshaw dodges - CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL (and a MEGA-AWESOME inside-out flip by Gunn to sell it). Wow! Cover, 1, 2, 3! (16:43). The APA are your winners and they're going to WrestleMania to face the champs!! Here's two replays of the clothesline - man, that was awesome. Nicely done by all involved.

WresleMania commercial - only 4 weeks away!

Cole's with Ric Flair "Ric Flair, co-owner of the World Wrestling FederationThe nWo has already made it's impact felt here tonight." "Michael they've done a lot more than that - when they walked in the door this afternoon, they said it themselves - the whole place went upside-down! I can't believe for one second that the nWo would think they could stand in the middle of this great arena on this great PPV, and try and sell that bunch of crap to the wrestlers back here. There's a whole dressing room full of WWF Sueperstars that are dyin' to walk out that door and teach these guys about respect the minute the nWo gets out of line." At this point, The Undertaker hgrabs the mic and shoves Cole out of the way. "So what now? You an authority on respect too? You know, maybe you shouldn't worry about keeping your eye on the nWo. Maybe you should worry aobut who's keeping their eye on you." "That would be you." "I suppose yer right. Gives you somthing to think about, doesn't it?" Taker slams the mic into Flair's chest and leaves.

Goldust vs. Rob...Van...Dam

Here's a quick recap of Goldust assaulting RVD 2 weeks ago. Hey, they've FINALLY wised up and only dropped the gold flakes on the entrance runway and NOT on the ring! Ross tells us that this proves that "the apple can bounce MILES from the tree on some occasion". *gasp* did he just give away Goldusts identity?!? I am SHOCKED!! Lawler enjoys the letterbox format of Goldust's entrance - me too. RVD arrives and Goldust wastes no time, clotheslining RVD against the ropes, then over the ropes, and we're on.

Goldust scoops RVD and drops him neck first on the apron! Rolls him into the ring - RVD on his knees - but he hops up and nails Goldust with a spinning heel kick! "RVD" chant. Kick, forearm, another, kick into the corner, shoulder block, second, cartwheel, OH MY GOD the third shouolder block HITS! RVD says "Yeah!" Snapmare, spinning leg drop, cartwheel into a moonsault cover - 1, 2, no. Kick by RVD, forearm, Irish whip but Goldust grabs the ropes and take a break on the outside after wiping the seat off his body and throwing it at RVD. Then he does it again, waves his hand, and starts to leave the building! Ref starts the count...but Goldust changes his mind ad heads back to ehe ring. He starts to slide back in, but slides out before RVD get get 'em. RVD finally gets mad and walks to the apron, so Goldust grabs his legs and drags him to the outside! Right, right, right, whip into the barrier is reversed by RVD! RVD breaks the count, then is back out with a kick for Goldust. Head ram into the barrier, drapes Goldust on the barrier, up on the apron, Points To Self, Spinning Leg Drop! Ow! Here's a replay of it. RVD throws Goldust in, and starts to follow - Goldust comes to the ropes and gets a shoulder block to the stomach. RVD goes for another, but Goldust raises the knee! NICE! Now Olgdust on the seond rope - drops the standing elbow! JR calls it a bionic elbow, AGAIN trying to give away Goldusts identity!! How DARE he?? Both guys in the ring, Goldust with an Irish whip - flying butt plairs. Cover, 1, no. Whip into the corner by Goldust - there's another. RVD tries to boot him but Goldust catches it and delivers some rights. RVD perched on the top rope - Goldust goes to the outside after hooking RVD's legs on the recond rope, and yanks RVD back onto the ringpost! Cool! RVD collapses to the ringpost. Goldust poses, then lands a double axe handle. Grabs the legs - catapult into the ropes but Goldust doesn't let go of his feet, bouncing him backward right across his knees! AWESOME! There's a running knee drop! Cover, 1, 2, no. Goldust with the catapult-clothesline-knee shot again! That's a kick-ass spot. DiBiase fist drop. turns RVD over - there's a reverse chin lock - RVD starts to power out but Goldust drops the butt on him, dropping him back tohe canvas. A little rub of himself, and right back into the chinlock. "RVD" chant. RVD starts to power out again, and gets another butt drop. Right back to the chin lock! AGAIN RVD starts to power out - butt drop but RVD flips over and nails him in the crotch with the knees!! RVD slowly up, and eats a BIG clothesline from Goldust. Cover, 1, 2, no. irish whip, hip toss blocked, backslide by RVD - 1, 2, no! Quick thrust kick to the chest by RVD and both men are down. Both men up at 4 - Goldust's right blocked, right by RVD, and again, and a third time, Irish whip reversed by Goldust, spinning heel kick by RVD! Whip into the corner - somersault - monkey flip! RVD to the rop - whoops, a little slip there, but he's right back up - Jumping Karate Kick That Will Break His Ankle Someday! Cover, 1, 2, no! RVD SWEARS! Slam by RVD - Rolling Thunder! Cover, 1, 2, no! RVD's getting mad. Irish whip, back body drop NO Goldust drops down and punches RVD (sorta), but RVD comes right back with a somersault senton - up on the top rope - 5-Star MISSES! Goldust with an AWESOME DDT! Cover, 1, 2, NO!! Goldust inhales, and is calling for the Curtain Call! Hooks him up but RVD lands on his feet - spinning heel kick! Cover, 1, 2, no! Goldust is MAD now - Kick, kick, right, right, into the corner, right, whip is reversed, RVD eats a boot - bulldog MISSES - Goldust kick is caught - step-over heel kick! And THERE'S the 4-Star! Cover, 1, 2, 3!! (11:09) Great match. JR predicts a sequel - if it's anything like this one, I'm happy.

WWF Fanatic commercial - see Rebellion only MONTHS after it happened!

There's Stone Cold Steve Austin walking the halls - and he walks right into the nWo. Hogan: "Hey brothers, it's Stone Cold Steve Austin!" Hall taps Nash - "It's the rattlesnake!" Nash: "Toughest SOB in the World Wrestling Federation". Austin gets in Nash's face a bit but Hall stops him "Wait a minute Austin, we don't want any trouble bro - we brought you a gift. Ice cold beer, from the nWo." Alright, who gave Hall the beer? Austin looks at the beer and says "What?" "Webrought you some beer, man, it's a gift." "That's for me?" "'s for you!" "You heard I like to drink beer?" "I heard you like to drink a LOT of beer." "I ain't thirsty." "..you wanna save it for later?" Austin takes the 6-pack. "Alright man, emnjoy it Steve." "Thankyou." Austin tosses the beer over his shoulder. Hogan "Let the man through, brothers." Little staredown between Hall and Austin as he passes by - and they watch him go.

WWF Tag Team Championship
Whitby Heat (credit: Kawshen, I think) vs. Tazz and Spike


What, no entrance for Test? THAT's CRAP! Test wastes no time throwing Tazz into the ring while Booker nails Spike and we're on

Rights by Test take Tazz into the corner, elbows and rights, kicks, and a foot choke. Kick, another, another, another, Head into the turnbuckle, knee, whip into the other corner. Test charges but eats elbow - and a clothesline. Tazz tags Spike - he's up top - drop kick! Drop-kick to the knee on Booker! But he runs into a kick by Test - Powerbomb NO Spike punches his way out, then nails Booker, but runs right into a gorilla press by Test (LOOK AT THE POWER, PEOPLE!) but Spike reverses into a sunset flip - Test won't go down so Tazz punches him - but Booker distracts the ref! Now he counts, 1,2, no. Clothesline by Test - mounted rights. Tag to Booker. Test holds Spike up, and Booker nails him with a kick. Cover, 1, Tazz saves. Booker and Tazz argue but the ref seperates them. Big shop for Spike, and another. Make it 3! Irish whip, clothesline. booker motions for Spike to get up - then NAILS Tazz when he's not lookin'. Nice! Booker tags Test - big right, another, Spike drops to the second rope. Test chokes him out while looking INTENSE! Whip into the corner - clotheslines. And another! "Make the tag, Spike! C'mon Spike!" Then TEST nails Tazz! AWESOME! Big slam by Test, of the ropes, big elbow misses! Rights by Spike, whip is reversed, Test charges but a headbutt to the stomach greets him. Dudley Dog NO, Test tosses him onto the top rope crotch-first, butit wasn't exact right in the centre so Spike goes flying to the outside, where Booker is happy to beat on him. He whips him back in, cover, 1, 2, Spike grabs the opre! Tag to Booker. Right to the gut, kick, Booker motioning - there's the axe kick to the back of the head! Right into the Spinnarooni! Cover, 1, Tazz saves. Booker perches Spike on the top, then punches him. Trash talk to Tazz, Spike catches him with a kick, Tornado DDT NO, Spike drops down, then ileaps back up, and THERE'S the DDT. Both men down - both men make the tag. Test charges - clothesline misses, Tazz's doesn't. There's another for Booker, and another for Test, Booker kicks him, but Tazz with a Northern Lights Suplex Pin! 1, 2, Test saves with an axe handle. Whitby Boot Of Death MISSES, and Tazz nails Booker!Tazz's punch is caught, Full Nelson, Booker charges but is back-dropped over the top! Tazz reverses - Tazzmission! But Test head-butts him off. Spike in - Dudley Dog! Booker grab Spike and hauls him outside - scoops him up, but Spike pushes him into the ringpost! Tazz covers Test, 1, 2, no! Both men up, Tazz charges but eats elbow, takedown by Test, WHITBY PIN (feet on the ropes), 1, 2, the ref catches him!! Test is FURIOUS!! He wants 3!! He shoves the ref, who bounces off the ropes and shoves Test right back - right into the Tazzmission! And Test TAPS! (7:16). Damnit, the ref SCREWED TEST. That's just WRONG! Test was CHEATED! At the very least, award him a gold medal!!

Tough Enough 2 commercial has Al Snow as a goaltender for Team USA - he uses a chair to make a save, then whacks the guy with it. Now THAT'S HOCKEY!

The Coach is with the Rock, who goes on and on about the Undertaker as you'd expect him to - however, he is sporting yet ANOTHER new T-shirt, with "Get Ready.." on the front, and "Your Candy-Ass is Next!" on the back. Rock is going to get his revenge, etc. etc. etc. if ya smelllll what the Rock is cookin'.

4 weeks to WrestleMania - and I'll bet THERE, bay-bah! This is a good time to remind y'all that my WrestleMania recap will be a day late, since I'll have guests over and I simply MUST keep them entertained 0 however, you'll gets lots of extra LIVE info in it, so hopefully you'll think it's worth the wait!

WWF Intercontinental Championship - Brass Knuckles On A Pole Match
Edge vs. William Regal


The ref is checking Regal for extra knux, but Edge assulats him before he can completely finish - biiiig mistake! Edge, yer from Toronto - you should KNOW better than that! Edge rolls Regal in and we're underway!

Regal's clothesline misses, Edge off the ropes - there's a kick, and a clotheslines, and a suplex. Ege goes for the knux but Regal stops him - rights by Edge, whip into the corner, back body drop, hair flip. Mounted rights, cover, 1, 2, no. Edge goes for the knux but is floored with a forearm, now Regal goes for them by using Edge as a footstool, but Edge quickly pulls him off and lands a right. Whip into the corner but Regal stops himself, but turns right into a dropkick. Forearm, another, irish whip reversed, Regal throws Edge out but he lands on the apron and goes right for the knux but Regal stops him. Edge however, clotheslines him on the top rope on the way down. Edge pulls Regal outside - right, head into the stairs. Then he throws him over the protective barrier into the crowd, and follows him out. Punches, kicks. Edge back over the barrier, going for the knux again, but Regal's back in and eats a couple kicks from Edge - missle drop-kick from the second turnbuckle. Cover, 1, 2, no. irish whip reversed, short clothesline misses, full nelson but Regal slips out, picks Edge up, and drops him stomach first on the ropes. Stomps. Abdominal Stretch! Regal holding on to te ropes for added effect, but by the time the ref checks, he's let go. "Regal sucks" chant. Edge hip tosses Regal over, then throws him outside. Edge slowly climbs up to get the knux - he's on the top turnbuckle, but Regal pushes him off, right into the barrierRegal slowly follows him out - double-underhook POWERBOMB on the outside!! Regal poses - fans continue chanting. Regal pulls Edge up and rolls him in - Regal Stretch! Edge is bleeding from the nouth. Edge yelling in pain, but he FINALLY makes it over to the ropes and grabs them! Regal responds with ANOTHER double-underhook powerbomb! Cover, 1,2, no! Now Regal is going for the knux while JR tells us that Edge's internal bleeding is a serious issue - really, you think? Shot of the knux, and when we pull back Regal's been crotched on the top rope somehow - replay shows us Edge pushed him. Now Edge is climbing for the knux but is stopped - both men on the apron - Regal going for another powerbomb but it doesn't quite work and both men go crashing to the floor. Reaply shows us that Edge grabbed the ropes on the way up, and it looked like Edge was going for a head scissors, but it didn't work. Edge drags himself back in the ring, looking half-crippled. Edge now slowly working his way up to get the knux - "Edge" chant. Regal stops him with punches, Edge fires back, but Regal gets the better of him and sends Edge to the canvas - now Regal going for the knux and gets them! But Edge is up - back superplex! The knux are on the ground, up for grabs! both men slowly come around while Edge appears to spit up more blood. Both men slowly going for the knux, but Regal kicks them to the outside. Edge goes to get them but Regal stops him - clothesline misses - Edge-O-Matic! 1, 2, no! Kick to the gut, Edge-acution NO Regal reverses and lands a knee - off the ropes - SPEAR! Edge grabs his hair, and his ribs! He's on the outside, and he's got the knux, and a real mad look! "C'mon, you sunovabitch, goddamnit!" Edge goes for a punch but Regal nails him with a left to the gut, and another left floors Edge - and we see Regal slipping knux back into his tights! Cover, 1, 2, 3! (10:28) Reaply shows Regal getting the other pair out of his trunks and nailing Edge with them. Edge looks absolutely WRECKED as Regal clutches the title. Not as good as their last PPV match, but nothing to complain about, either.

Lillian Garcia interviews Angle, who is supremely confident in his ability to beat Triple H, especially since Steph is the guest referrees. Angle reminds us that he won the gold medals - "I didn't get these at a state fair! I didn't get them from a box of Lucky frieakin' Charms!" he goes on to say that Steph lying about the pregnancy is the best new he's ever heard because H would've made a lousy father. "But cheer up, HHH, becuase tonight, I'M gonna be your daddy! And daddy is walkin' out with a title shot at WrestleMania! And that, Lillian, is true."

The Rock vs. The Undertaker

the Rock comes out second, and he SPRINTS to the ring becuase he's MAD! He's in the ring and we're underway immediately!

taker's right misses, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, Irish whip reversed, cothesline misses, Flying Clothesline lands! taker reels into the corner, right by Rock, whip into the corner reversed, GOOZLE, Rock breaks it with 3 big rights, off the ropes, big boot by Taker. Cover, 1, 2, no. Stomps by Taker. Grinding the knee into the neck. Picks Rock up, measures - big right floors him. Kick, forearm grind into the neck. Rock up, big right, another, another, but Taker stops him with a throat shot, and an elbow. Irish whip, neckbreaker by The Rock (more or less), both men down. taker up first and knocks Rock down. Stomps. Choke on the second rope. Taker is taking his time. He measures - punch to the gut. Punch to the head. Elbow. Head butt. Another measure - another punch. taker is methodically beating Rocky down. Ref says something taker doesn't like so he chases him around the ring a bit. Heads back to the corner but Rock fires off 4 rights, off the ropes, but he runs right into a sidewalk slam. Cover, 1, 2, no. taker now with a reverse chin-lock, driving his knee into Rock's neck. Rock slowly powers out - right to the gut, another, 3, 4, Taker with a knee. Another knee. Big elbow to the neck. Kicks. Irish whip, Rock catches the ropes. Taker goes for a Big Bot but Rocky dodges, and taker gets hung up on the top! A few rights, and a clothesline sends Taker over the top! Big right stuns the Taker - he's got that puinch-drunk look on his face. head rammed into the stairs, then into the Spanish announcer's table. The top comes off, which seems to inspire Rocky - he pulls out the monitors and clears things off why the Spnish announcers complain. Lawler proclaims the Spanish table "cursed". Taker's right is lbocked, right by Rocky, another, head into the steps NO, Taker blocks, elbow, rams Rocky's head into the steps. Rock's leaning aainst the barrier, where a woman takes the opporunity to give him a big hug. Awwww...taker's so touches, he crotches Rock on the barrier. taker sits on the steps and watches Rock yell in pain - awesome. Foot Choke - taker breaks the count. Taker measuring, big right sends Rocky over the barrier, ad now they're into the crowd by a couple of doors. Taker's Irish whip is reversed and Taker goes through a door, couple of rights by Rocky, tries to ram Taker's head into the door but it's blocked, and Taker rams Rock y instead. They head back to back to the barrier, where Taker throws him over. Taker rolls Rock onto the apron, and drives the elbow down on Rock's head. Knee to the head. taker up the stairs - leg drop! Ow! Taker in the ring now - cover, 1, 2, no. Another cover, 1, 2, no! Mounted punches, and another cover, 1, 2, no! Taker slaps on the reverse chin lock again but Rock powers out - punch ot the gut, right, right, right, Irish whip, but the Rock lowered his head and eats an Undertaker DDT. Cover, 1, ,2 no! Taker throws a mini-tantrum! Irish whip, bear hug! Rock slowly fades out - the arm drops once - the arm drops twice - the arm SHOCKINGLY does NOT drop the third time! There's a right to break the hold, and another! Flying Clothesline! Both men down - both men up at 5. Right by the Taker, a right by Rock. Taker with another, and Rock with another, Taker's right is blocked, series of rights by Rock, Irish whip reversed - DDT (and a beauty!) by the Rock! Nip-up! Spinebuster! The elbow pad is off! Off the ropes, People's NO, GOOZLE! So Rock kicks him right in the crotch! Where was the ref on THAT one? Right, right, right, into the corner, right, spit on the hand, right. Whip is reversed - goozle - CHOKESLAM! Taker can't capitalize right away - NOW he covers, 1, 2, NO!! Taker can't believe it and goes after the ref - The ref insists it was 2! Taker leaving the ring, and sitting on his bike - he appears to be looking for something. The ref is out to ask what he's doing, so taker throws him back into the steps. He's got what he was after - a lead pipe. Guy in crowd: "You should've bought a Harley!" HA! Taker up on the apron and about to get into the ring, but Ric Flair is out! he pulls Taker down, rightright, chop, NO SALE!! Big Boot floors Flair! Taker's in the ring with the pipe - pipe shot MISSES - Spinebuster! SHARPSHOOTER! Taker looks like he's gonna tap, but Mr. McMahon is out and up on the apron, yelling at the ref, so Rock brings him in - right, right, right, spit, big right drops Vince! Taker nails Rock from behind - TOMBSTONE NO, Flair NAILS Taker with the pipe! ROCK BOTTOM! Cover, 1, 2, 3! (17:26) Flair leaves with the pipe. Rock celebrates while Rocky poses for the millions. A tad overbooked, but a solid brawl from these two.

Meanwhile, Mr. Perfect is at WWF New York! He slaps away the gum! He makes fun of a few New Yorkers and shows off his body, reminding everybody that he's Mr. Perfect.

No Way Out theme song is "Feel So Numb" By Rob Zombie - Sinister Urge available NOW GO BUY IT HURRY UP

#1 Contender Match
Triple H vs. Kurt Angle
Special Guest Referee: Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley


Steph is out first, and she correct Howard Finkel that her name is "Stephanie McMahon", not "Stephanie McMahon Helmsley". Ross says she makes the French figure skating judge look like a saint, 'cusing me to snicker. Angle enters first to Steph's aplause, and look at her admire Angle jump up and down! I guess there just aren't many men nowadays who can jump up and down well. The Game enters last. Entrance time: (2:22) if you're interested. Steph reminds H she's in charge, while Kurt attacks from behind with a quick roll-up and we've started!

Steph with a quick count on the rollup 1 2 no! Small package by Angle 1 2 no! Angle backs H into the ropes - another rollup but H reverses and Steph isn't sure if she should count. H complains, and gets attacked from behind. Rihts and kicks from Kurt beats H down. Steph applauds and says "Oh eay!", until H atakes him down and chokes him. H stomping way now - there's a foot choke hold. Arm bar - short clotheslines and a solid one! There's another. Crowd chants "Take your shirt off" to Steph. Right by H, irish whip reversed into a back suplex. Steph applauds, then realize she probably should be counting. She gets to 3 when both men get to their feet. Angle charges witha clothesline but H ducks and Angle HAMMERS Steph over the top rope! Wow, that was quite a shot. Steph even landed on her feet before collapsing. Angle charges H but misses, off the ropes, elbow by H while Eaton checks on Steph and calls for help. H with rights - Irish whip, back body drop. Clothesline puts Angle over the top. Refs attend to Steph while H points at her and laughs. There's a replay of the steph clothesline. Angle with some chops on H - Irish whip, head down - neckbreaker by H. Tim White is in to take over, cover by H, 1, 2, no. The other refs take Steph out. Angle's put into the corner - H climbs the ropes and waves goodbye before landing 10 big punches. But Angle grabs him and drops him down - H's clothesline misses - German Suplex! And another! H blocing the third one - another block - but Angle forces the third one! cover, 1, 2, no! Big right by Angle floors H. Stomps, trash talkin', stomps send H outside. Angle follows - head into the apron. tim white ORDERS Angle to keep it in the ring - way to go, tim! Irish whip by Angle, elbow. Cover, 1, 2, no. "Angle sucks" chant. Angle tells them to shut up, then gets booted in the gut. H puts Angle in the corner - kick, kick, kick, whip into the corner is reversed, Angle charges but eats boot. Clothesline NO, belly-to-belly overhead suplex! Cover, 1, 2, no. There's a replay of the suplex. And meanwhile, here'ss another B2B for ya! Cover, 1, 2, no! There's a 3rd B2B! Cover, 1, 2, no! Angle geting frustrated. Punches and kicks - and a foot choke.Angle picks H up but H fires back with rights - Irish whip reversed - sleeper! H fights it but starts to fade - H rams Angle into the turnbuckel a couple of times, but Angle hangs on - so H goes head-first into the turnbuckle and ducks, ramming Angle's head into the turnbuckle - that breaks it. Rights by Angle, up on the second rope, "Who's the bitch now?" More punches but H picks him up - powerbomb!! Both men down so the ref starts the count. Both men up at 9, Angle's right is blocked, right by H. Another blocked right, rights by H, irish whip, clotheslines misses, high knee lands. Right, Irish whip, H telegraphs to Angle kicks him, off the ropes - Spinebuster by H! Cover, 1, 2, no! Right by H, Irish whip reversed, head down, so Angle eats facebuster. Cover, 1, 2, no! Angle begs off and rolls to the outside - H follows. They walk around the ring - Angle slides back in, off the ropes, Angle nails WHITE with a forearm to the back of the head(!). Clothesline misses - neckbreaker by HHH. H tries to wake up White - he ain't movin'. H heads back to Angle, but gets an uppernut for his trouble. Angle Slam!! And Angle motions to the back - Steph runs back out, holding her neck! Cover, 1, 2, NO! Apparantly Steph cannot fast count due to the injury Another cover, 1, 2, no! ANOTHER cover, 1, 2, no! ANOTHER one, 1, 2, NO! Angle is MAD! Steph: "Come oooon!" Punches by Angle - down come the straps - ANKLELOCK, but Triple H countered and shoves Angle into the corner, right where Steph is! Steph's down again, and Angle is beside himself! Meanwhile, H is back up, Angle charges, gets kicked - DDT By H! Cover...but there's no ref! Hunter heads over to try and wake up Tim White, and he succeeds this time, but Angle nails H who runs into White, sending White to the outside. This match may set a record for ref bumps. German Suplex by Angle! Angle to the outside - he's getting a steel chair! chair shot MISSES, kick to the stomach - PEDIGREE! Tim White's trying to get back in - and he does! 1.....2....STEPH DROPS AN ELBOW ON TIM WHITE! Now she grabs his legs and trash talks - boot to the groin!!! She kicks Tim out! But H is up...and mad! Steph backs off - Steph points at her Ref insignia - H grabs her! PEDIGREE NO, Angle NAILS H with the chair to the back, and ANOTHER shot to the head! Angle wants H to get up - he barely does - ANGLE SLAM! Cover, 1, 2, 3!! (14:43) Steph and Kurt are very happy! Crowd chants "You Suck!" H drools uncontrollably and has a look on his face that would depress Richard Simmons. Good work between these two as expected, but too much booking with all the ref bumps. And the ending was quite unexpected, definately. Angle's going to WrestleMania! Who will he face? Let's find out!

Angle, wrapped in a towel, immediately hops in his car, yelling about how good he is. JR: "Maybe he's drivin' to Toronto."

The trainer checks with the Rock, but they're interrupted by the nWo. Hogan would like a picture with him! "Picture with The Rock?" "Yes sir." "For your son?" "Yeah." "No problem." Hall takes the picture, and Hogan mumbles "So much for the people's taste." Rock hears him though. "What'd you just say?" Hogan goes to answer "noooononononono, doesn't matter what you just said. See you shouldn't have said that. The Rock was bein' a man, no problem, picture for your son, no problem. Rock's gonna tell you what you can do with that camera. You, Chico! Razor Ramon!" Rock imitates Hall's arm movements to the crowd's delight. "you take that camera and shove it up yer ass. And then what'cha do, you give it to your big buddy, Big Daddy Cool, Diesel!" Rock toots on an imaginary truck horn. "You turn it sideways and then..you give it to him. You give it to Hogan. Hogan, you take that camera, it's already shined up, turned sidways, eat your vitamins says your prayers and stick it straight up aaaaaall your candy asses!" Rock leaves - Hogan looks PISSED.

Jericho is walkin' around with his belts, looking....pouty?

Undisputed Championship Match
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Chris Jericho


Champ enters last 'cause he's SUPPOSED TO! Jericho again pretends to let a fan touch the belt, only to pull it away. I just love it when he does that. Let's get started, shall we?

Some trash talking to start - Austin says "WHAM!" and snaps his fingers. Jericho responds with a bird, to which Austin responds with a bird of his own. They back up...lockup, Jericho forces him into a corner, they break. Another lockup, a break. Again they lockup, Jericho turns Austin around, and catches him with a right! Austin backs off, looks at Jericho...and smiles. Jericho looks perplexedKick by jericho, right, right, armbar, right by Austin, another, Austin tosses jericho out but he lands on his feet, Austin chases, they're back in the ring, jericho off the ropes, Austin drops down twice then nails Jericho with an elbowq. Into the corner - chop, chop, chop, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11!! OW! Head to the top turnbuckle while the crowd yells "What?" With every shot. 9 head shots to the top turnbuckle, 3 for the middle, and 2 to the bottom. Then he's whipped into the other corner, and gets a clotheslines. Suplex. Another suplex. Into the corner, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, Irish whip, Jericho with a neckbreakerBoots by Jericho, into the corner - chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, Irish whip, elbow. Jericho to the top rope but gets caught with a shot to the gut. Irish whip, Jericho is clotheslined over the top! Austin follows - chop, chop, chop, whipped into the pole, head into the steps, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, holy crap, enough chops? Back in the ring now, into the corner, shoulder blocks by Austin - 6 to be exact. Chop, whip into the corner, Austin charges but Jericho dodges and Austin rams his shoulder into the pole. He's on the outside, Jericho follows and lands a double axe handle. 2 chops, whip into the steps. There's a replay of Austin going into the pole. Austin heading up the walkway, Jericho charges but gets chopped. Right hand drops Jericho, Austin whips Jericho right into one of the tractor-trailers that are part of the set. Then he whips him into the other one, and flips the bird to Earl Hebner to boot. Jericho's head is rammed into one of the projectors which are projecting images onto the trucks. Head into the security railing. Jericho fires back with a chop and drops Austin on the barrier. Chop, chop, chop, Jericho throws Austin into the ring. On the top rope - but Austin hits the ropes and Jericho gets crotched. Chop. chop. chop., chop. chop - SUPERPLEX! Over to the other corner - ANOTHER Superplex! Into one of the other corners - a THIRD Superplex!! Cover, 1, 2, no! Another cover, 1, 2, no! 3 chops by Austin, whipped into the corner, and again, the third one is reversed but Austin lands a clothesline. Jericho cowers behind the ref, but when Austin tries to break them apart, jericho sneaks in an uppernut! Nice! There's a replay of the sneaky uppernut. Elbow by Jericho, and another. A third. Punches, foot choke. "I'm still the champ!" Austin pushed into the corner, kick, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, whip into the corner, elbow misses - Austin charges but is taken down - Jericho trying to lock in the Walls of Jericho, but manages to get free! Jericho with a right and a chop - yet ANOTHER chop drops Austin. Knees to the face. Choke hold. Jericho picks up Austin, chop, Irish whip, kick by Austin, right, right, Irish whip, Austin drops Jericho neck-first onto the top rope, big elbow. Cover, 1, 2, no! Irish whip reversed by Jericho, who sends Austin to the outside. Jericho follows, picks up Austinand rams him into the barrier.Shot to the back. Jericho's got a chair, but he gets kicked and the ref takes away the chair before he can use it. Chops by Austin - Jericho is whipped NO he reversed and shoved Austin into the barrier - and now into the English table. Jericho takes the top off and rams Austin into the monitor. Jericho breaks the count, then rolls Austin in. They're in the corner - chop, chop, Irish whip, elbow - Lionsault MISSES! Right by Austin, another, Irish whip reversed, sleeper by Jericho! Austin fading - it looks more like a choke hold now, and JR and Lawler are quick to point this out. Austin down to the canvas - he's fading - checks the arm, but it only goes down once. Austin back up - rights - Irish whip reversed, dropkick NO Austin holds onto the ropes - Walls Of Austin attempt, but he can't sinch it in, so he catapults Jericho right into the corner! Back suplex but he lands on his feet - Kick STUNNER NO Jerichopushes him off, clothesline by Austin. There's another. Third one misses but Jericho runs right into a spinebuster! Knee by Austin, right, chop, right, Irish whip reversed, Jericho leaps up but gets caught in a powerslam, 1, 2, no! Whip into the corner reversed by Jericho - bulldog! LIONSAULT! And there's ANOTHER one! Cover, 1, 2, NO! Kicks by Jericho, 3, chops, whip into the corner but Austin dodges and jericho hit the ringpost. Irish whip by Austin, Lou Thesz Press NO Jericho throws him down - WALLS OF JERICHO! Austin sloowwlly crawling to the ropes - and gets there! Jericho's frustrated, so he goes outside, throws Mark Eaton out of the way, and grabs the WWF Title belt! Hebner grabs the belt as Austin nails Jericho from behind, pushing Hebner into the corner! Punches by Jericho, Jericho goes outside but Austin brings him back in! Punches, irish whip, spinebuster ON THE BELT! Cover, 1, 2, NO!!! STUNNER NO BREAKDOWN ONTO THE BELT!!! Cover, 1, 2, NO!!!Into the corner, punches, Austin's whipped into the other corner and gets clotheslined. Another whip, Austin bounces off - Jericho goes for the bulldog but Austin ducks and clotheslines Hebner out of the ring! Walls of Austin of Jericho! And JERICHO'S TAPPING! But ther's no referee! Austin goes to find the ref - Jericho charges with the belt - STUNNER!! there's a cover, but there's Hogan, Hall and Nash !! Austin's up - he floors Hall! Floors Hogan! Nails Nash! Nails Hall again!Austin and Hogan trade punches, but Austin gets the better of him! Shot for Nash! Takedown on hall! Mounted punches but Hogan and Nash both nail Austin! SCOTT HALL STUNNER!!!! Jericho wakes up Hebner, rolls him into the ring, and covers Austin! 1, 2, 3!! (21:37) Jericho retains, and the nWo seem pretty happy about it. Jericho leaves with his belts, but the nWo are not done with Austin! They're back in the ring - punches by Hogan and Nash! Another punch by Hogan! Nash lands one! But Austin takes down Hall and lands a few punches - Hogan quickly drops an elbow to break that up. Knee by Nash, punch by Hogan floors Austin, Hall with a punch, a kick - ANOTHER SCOTT HALL STUNNER!! Hogan rolls outside, looks under the ring - yep, he's got the spray paint!! And Hogan hands it over to Hall! Nash and Hogan hold Austin down, while Scott Hall does the honors and sprays "nWo" on Austin's back!! Wolfpac Five by Hogan and Hall! They leave the ring, Austin is shaking his head - Hogan and Hall grin as only the nWo can while the porno music plays. HUGE WWF logo and THAT'S IT!

A tough PPV to sum up - the effort was there from everybody, but the three main-event matches weren't quite as smooth as they usually are, and I think they definately set a world record for ref bumps. And you KNOW Jericho/Angle isn't gonna stand as the WM main event....right?

Hey yo....I'm goin' to bed.

BrewGuy
[slash] wrestling

Mail the Author

Comment about this article in Wienerville

BLAH

Main

Design copyright © 1999-2002 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
Guest column text copyright © 2002 by the individual author and used with permission