Before I get started, I just want to thank Steve, Mike, Mike, Joe, Pete, Geoff, and Matt for making this WrestleMania Weekend more fun than is legally allowed in this country (especially when you figure in the conversion rate). The Americans in the group were even able to adjust to the shocking fact that we buy our milk in bags, and that ain't no small feat. You guys are great.
WWF Fan Axxess
We invaded Fan Axxess Friday night at 6:00, and had a great, great time. Here's some of my personal highlights of the experience.
- We watched an exhibition match with The Hurricane (w/ Mighty Molly) taking on Sho Funaki. The ring at Axxess looked a little smaller than the standard WWF ring, but if it was smaller, it wasn't by much. I enjoyed the hell out of this. At the start, a few guys started a "You Screwed Bret" chant at Earl Hebner, who was reffing the match. At that point, The Hurricane turned and pretended to join in the chant, causing Hebner to crack up, and Helms to have to slide out of the ring to control his laughter before getting the match underway. During the match, some of the guys and I started a "Funaki" chant, and he immediately turned, pointed his finger at us, and bitched us out in Japanese (adding in a little wink at the end). And if you think THAT's great, when we weren't doing anything at all, he CAME BACK to bitch at us AGAIN, which of course got us started up again. Pure brilliance. The match itself was great, with the Hurricane taking home the victory. Entertaining to the max.
- While we watched the match, several recognizable names peeked their head out on the balcony to catch some of it, including Fit Finley, Billy and Chuck, Diamond Dallas Page, and Tajiri. When we saw him and waved, DDP gave us a quick Teeth Smile, while Tajiri smiled and pointed at the ring, as if to say "Hey, don't look at US, look at the guys busting their ass entertaining you!".
- We stood in line for the Fantasy Play by Play, but the lines for it (and all the autograph sessions) were crazy-long and we didn't want to wait it out. Advice for those who end up attending next year's Axxess: if there's something you REALLY want to do, make sure you get there really early to get a good place in line, then go and stand in the line for whatever it is you want to do right away. If you wait, you won't get there. There's just too many people.
- William Regal came out to take questions from the fans, and was absolutely brilliant. Fans would ask questions like "so what was it like kissing Vince's ass?" and he was able to tear them down every time. One girl told him he was really handsome and wanted to go out with him after Axxess, and he verbally tore a hole in her so brilliantly the entire place was ready to beat him down. We even got a little "Real Man's Man" chant started, to which he replied "Now, now, he died of liver cancer years ago". *gasp* An exclusive scoop!! As Regal himself might say, "bloody brilliant".
- A great story I got from the other guys - Billy Gunn was playing SmackDown!:Just Bring It against a kid around the age of 9 or 10. 5 People's Elbow's later, Gunn was utterly destroyed. From what the guys told me, Billy was yelling things the whole time such as "This controller doesn't even work!" and when the crowd got on him, he'd say "oh sure, like YOU could beat him!". An awesome story - sounds like Billy was a great sport the whole time.
- I met Crash Holly, who was just hanging out on the floor by a car that Austin had crushed with his monster truck some years back. He was promoting his wrestling school in North Carolina. Really nice guy, and Holy Christmas In July (or, as Mike might say "Holy March Break"), is this guy in phenominal shape. Being a big guy, I was pretty much towering over him, but when i shook his hand, it was like shaking hands with a tree trunk - his arms are HUGE, and I had no doubt in my mind that should anybody happen to get out of line with 'em, they'd regret it in a big stinkin' hurry. He's a really nice guy, and if you're interested in becoming a professional wrestler, here's the info he was giving out:
CRASH HOLLY'S SCHOOL OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING
1325 N. Main St.
Salisbury, NC 28144
1. You must have an E.K.G. and psyical before class begins
2. You must have H.I.V. screening before class begins
3. The cost of the school is $3,000
4. There will be a $750 non-returnable deposit to reserve your spot
5. The remaining balance of $2,250 will be paid in 8 monthly installments of $282
6. Classes will be held on Wednesday through Friday from 7pm until 9pm.
7. We also have rooms for rent. Prices vary on roo size between $200-$300 a month
8. Any additional questions, just give 'em a call!
- I also met Jason Sensation, who was BUSTING HIS ASS entertaining anybody who happened to walk by, God love 'em. He was promoting the Apocolypse Wrestling Federation's "Scar Wars", and doing a ton of impressions for anybody who asked. I very humbly asked for a picture, and he replied "Hey, it'd be an honor", to which I replied that it was actually MY honor, and he shook my hand and very sincerely thanked me and said how much he appreciated that. That experience alone was worth the price of admission for me, and made me proud to be a wrestling fan.
- Lots of stars were on the floors posing for pictures and playing SmackDown - I saw Chris Benoit, Stacy Keibler, Lita, Terri, Pat Patterson, Gerald Brisco, and Sgt. Slaughter, who, by the way, is a human wall. TV SO doesn't do that guy justice - he is HUGE, and in good shape, too.
Other quick points: The Hall of Fame was really great (I got some great pics I'll be posting soon), The Superstar "Impressions" were pretty funny - they acutally molded different parts of superstar's bodies and made life-size models of them - Al Snow with Head, Booker's hand, Stacey's butt, and a few others (you can imagine how people were taking pictures of themselves "grabbing Stacey's butt" - let your imagination run wild, and that's pretty much what it was like).
Overall, if you ever get a chance to, GO. You can pretty much meet anybody you want if you're patient enough to wait in lines, and the experience is nothing short of awesome.
One other quick point I'll make before getting into the recap; my sister was downtown Saturday night, and walked into a sushi place to find none other that Scott Hall. Her friend, who was a) a crazy-huge fan, and b) hammered, proceded to rip his shirt off and generally make a jackass of himself while her and her friends basically dragged him out. My sister apologized and said "he's just a little drunk", to which Hall replied "Yeah, I know all about that". That's pretty damn funny. The sister report on him was pretty simple: "He's awfully ugly, but a real nice guy, especially considering what happened".
Here's an exclusive LIVE scoop for ya - y'know how when you're wating for the PPV to start, you ALWAYS see people outside waiting to get in about half an hour before the show starts? This is because the WWF uses ZERO CROWD CONTROL at the gates. We had to wait outside in witch-tit cold weather for over an hour before we got in the door - people were basically hurling their bodies at the door to try and get in while WWF cameras swept over us and got us to cheer - which was difficult, considering hypothermia had set in, but somehow we managed, becuase this is OUR WRESTLEMANIA. A quick note to the WWF: Organizing the line-ups at the door would be a very, very prudent move. Enough bitching, ON WITH THE SHOW. Speaking of which, this recap will be a mix of both live obervations and tape observations, as trying to write this during a PPV would make me dumber than a sack of hammers.
We do get a 6-man tag featuring Lance Storm, Mr. Perfect, and TEST vs. Scotty II Hotty, Albert, and Rikishi. It was short, and depressing because a) the Scotty team won, and b) it was such a waste of Test. I DID get to see the Whitby Booth of Death in person (and see the sign for it which Geoff made which so TOTALLY HAD to have made Heat), so I'm not horribly unhappy.
HERE WE GO: We see the satellite interception warnings and the WWF Introduction Video and the crowd goes CRAZY, and before we get anywhere, Saliva plays "Superstar" LIVE for us on the mega-cool WrestleMania set, to a mega-cool video in the background.
Opening Montage: Many famous WrestleMania moments are shown, as we get voice-overs by some of the greats.
Undertaker: "Every major sport has their special event. The NFL has the SuperBowl, baseball has the World Series, The World Wrestling Federation has Wrestlemania."
Jericho: "WrestleMania is the biggest show by the biggest company in the entire world of sports entertainment."
Ric Flair: "To a lot of fans, it's bigger than the SuperBowl. To ME, it's certainly bigger than the SuperBowl."
Undertaker: "WrestleMania's called the grand-daddy of 'em all. And you stand on the grandest stage of them all, it's that time of year, when you're on the card at WM, that you stand before millions of people, and you stand before your peers, and it lets people know that you mean something."
HHH: "That's the ultimate dream, that bell rings and you're standing across the ring and you're looking at another guy and you guys are the main event at the biggest event that there is - it COULDN'T mean any more."
Austin: "Having that spot means everything to me."
Hogan: "WrestleMania II was the greatest moment of my life. 93,000 people at the Pontiac Silverdome, and I got Andre the Giant over my head and I body-slammed him, the wrestling world stood in awe." A GREAT shot is shown here of Andre and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan leaving the ring on the mini-ring carts, Andre looks back at Hogan, Heenan putting his hand to his temples in disbelief and frustration.
Taker: "WrestleMania - it's fever, man."
The Rock: "There's really that x-factor, that intangible I can't explain, you just have to feel it."
Scott Hall: "It's pressure, but it's that good kind of pressure."
Austin: "There's an adreneline rush ever single time I step through that curtain."
Jericho: "This IS the showcase of the immortals."
Taker: "It's a time to shine, and to take that spotlight and make it mean something."
HHH: "8 months of my life was spent in a rehab facility goin' through a lot of pain and hard times, all with one goal in mind, once again getting a shot to be WWF Champion, once again having the opportunity to get in the ring and go to WrestleMania."
Hogan: "This is my comeback WrestleMania."
Rock: "This WrestleMania, WrestleMania 18, will be THE biggest WrestleMania in my entire career."
Jericho: "Tonight, on the biggest stage of all time, this is my biggest chance to make my mark in history, and to be remembered and acknowledged as one of the greats."
Hogan: "I'm here because I want to prove that Hulk Hogan is the Babe Ruth of the WWF and I don't want anybody else to take that spot."
Rock: "This match, a matchup of this magnitude, the enormity of this match, means so much and it would be a torch passed on to me and letting me know it's your turn, it's your time - you're the best."
Flair: "WrestleMania is undeniably the most magnificant."
Hall: "It's the biggest pedestal to be put on."
Jericho: "It's my biggest dream, and now it's my biggest reality."
HHH: "God there's no feeling that could be like that in the world."
Austin: "It's nothing but 100% pure adreneline."
Rock: "That's what the memories of WrestleMania are made up for me." Last shot of Rocky in the back of the arena, alone with his thoughts, is a perfect way to end this AWESOME opening.
IGNITE THE MEGA-PYRO 'cause Sour Skittles and Saliva say it's time for WRESTLEMANIAAAAAA, coming to you LIVE from the SkyDome in Toronto, Ontario, Canada AND from section 134B, row 17, seat 5!!! Ross: "Welcome to Toronto SkyDome! Welcome to a global phenominon! Welcome to the greatest sports-entertainment extravaganza of all time! Welcome ladies and gentleman to Wrestlemania 18!!" This place was so loud at this point, I can't even describe it! There's WWF New York, and they got NOTHIN' on us, bay-bah! It's a 4-hour show, so let's get to it!!!
WWF Intercontinental Championship Match
THE CHALLENGER: from Battle Creek, Michigan, weighing 230 pounds - ROB VAN DAM
THE CHAMPION: from Blackpool, England, weighing 240 pounds - WILLIAM REGAL
HUGE pop for RVD, naturally. Ross calls Regal "perhaps the greatest counter-wrestler in the entire WWF, a southpaw with a very unique style, but when you're talking about unique styles, you also gotta include the challenger." I think match participants, especially in 'Mania, should always be hyped by the commentators as if we've never seen them before - it's so, so great. RVD fakes a cross body, then goes out to get him and Regal slides in, RVD slides back in and we're on!
Regal attacks and misses, forearms by RVD, Irish whip reversed, clothesline misses, spinning kick lands. Clothesline! Senton! More forearms but Regal pushes him off, but RVD is right back on him, forearms, kick, whip to the corner, charge but RVD eats elbow, and Regal looking in his tights for the knux already and finds them! he smiles and turns around but RVD kicks the knux out of Regal's hand, drops him with a kick, and Regal begs off!! RVD having none of it - dropkick, forearms, whip to the corner, spinning kick misses but RVD hops right onto the second rope and lands ANOTHER kick - he's goin' up! 5-Star MISSES! Regal off the ropes with a knee! Cover, 1, 2, no! Another cover, 1, 2, no! One more, 1, 2, no! Euro uppercut, Irish whip, elbow misses, cross body by RVD! 1, 2, no! Regal's Euro Uppercut reversed into a backslide, 1, 2, no! Nice! Regal drop-toe-holds RVD and wails away on the head with forearms. Big vertical suplex! Cover, 1, 2, no! Euro uppercut - whip ot the corner is reversed, Regal charges out, baaaaaack body drop! Kick, forearm, a few more, irish whip reversed into a SUPER-SICK looking Cobra Neckbreaker!! Cover, 1, 2, NO!! Regal crosses RVD's arms across his neck - RVD fights out - Regal's bleeding from the mouth. RVD flips Regal off - Regal charges and eats a superkick - Rolling Thunder EATS KNEES! Double-underhook powerbomb!! Cover, 1, 2, NO! Regal going for the Regal Stretch but RVD reverses into a small package 1 2 NO! Forearm drops RVD, and Regal waves to us all! Hi, William!! Double-underhook but Regal's ramed into the corner - forearms and kicks, whip to teh corner, pump-fake, dropkick. Whip to the corner, somersault monkey-flip! RVD's pumped! right, forearm, shoulder block, 2, backflip, Regal charges - RVD ducks the clothesline, kick but RVD grabs the leg - step-over kick NO Regal reverses - HALF-NELSON SUPLEX!!! RVD rolls out of the ring to make sure he's still in one piece. Here's a replay - WOW, right on the back of his neck - there's another angle of it. Regal goes outside and rolls RVD back in and takes the opportunity to pick up the brass knux - rolls into the ring but the ref sees the knux and takes them away! So, Regal goes for his back-up knux but RVD nails Regal with a spinning heel kick! 5-Star Frogsplash HITS! Can he cover - yes! 1, 2, 3!!
The winner, and NEW Intercontinental Champion, Rob Van Dam (6:21)
Replay of Regal going for the second pair of knux but eating kick and 5-Star. Shorter than I thought, but it's all quality stuff. RVD bleeds from the mouth, but that won't stop him from pointing to himself, belt around his shoulder.
Backstage we see Christian with Lillian mocking RVD's smile - damn that's funny. We go back to Raw and see Christian turning on Page. "So Christian, after everything DDP has done for you, especially after helping you win that match, my question is, why did you turn on him?" "First of all, I won that match on my own, let's not kid ourselves. And as for why - once I used DDP to help me get back to my winning ways, I didn't NEED him anymore, and it's as simple as that. Just like after I became a HUGE international star, I didn't need this second-rate city anymore, and I moved to Florida." The amount of booing at THIS little beauty of a line cannot be appreciated unless you were there, let me tell ya. "Y'know the fact is I'm SO over those temper tantrums and I'm in touch with my emotions now, and I'm ready to re-take my title as the CHAMPION of Europe. 'Cause I'm a winner. And for DDP, that's not a good thing. That's.....a bad thing." Another Hilarious Fake Smile.
There's SkyDome! I'M IN THAT BUILDING! ME! ME! MEMEMEMEMEMEMEME Ross thanks all the great people of Toronto, and on behalf of all the great people of Toronto, you're welcome, JR!
WWF Intercontinental Championship Match
THE CHALLENGER: from Toron - NO WAIT, NOW hailing from TAMPA, FLORIDA, weighing 225 pounds - CHRISTIAN
THE CHAMPION: from the Jersey Shore, weighing 248 pounds - 'DIAMOND' DALLAS PAGE
You couldn't hear it, but did the crowd ever BOO when Christian said he was from Tampa. AWESOME. DDP Rushes the ring and we're underway!
Kicks by Christian as DDP slides in, Christian takes the belt and holds it aloft! Ross tells us how he ferried the Honkey Tonk Man to the ring 12 years ago - very cool. Rights by Christian, Irish whip reversed but their hands come apart so DDP clocks him - Irish whip reversed, clothesline misses, three big rights floor Christian. Kick to the gut - gutwrench gut-buster!! Cool! Clothesline takes both men over, DDP removes his vest and the crowd yells while he says "BANG!" Page rams Christian into the barrier twice, then into the side of the ring. Christian rolls in and goes to the corner - DDP mounted punches but Christian uppernuts him and delivers a Snake Eyes. Christian drops DDP gut first on the top rope, right, right, off the ropes, shoulder block sends DDP from the apron to the barrier. Christian follows and gives us a Fake Smile!! Rolls DDP in - kick, kick, kick, foot choke. Right, right, right, Christian with a Bang! Well, DDP don't like THAT - DDP whips him into the corner and lands three rights - whip into the corner, DDP charges, Christian raises the boot but DDP slides underneath, grabs his ankles - goin' for the groin shot into the pole but Christian pulls his legs forward and DDP gets poled himself! Christian follows outside and rolls DDP in. Right by Page, two, third blocked, right by Christian - abdominal stretch! Pounding away to teh gut with rights to make it worse! DDP fights out - 360 clothesline NO, Slop Drop Backbreaker! Cover, 1, 2, no! Christian wanted 3! But, he stays calm. Choke hold - Lawler expected Mounties for referees. I don't think the Rougeaus are here. Whip to teh corner reversed, DDP charges and eats elbow. Christian mocks the crowd and goes to the top but gets caught - body slam off the top(!!) Both men up at 5, 360 clothesline by DDP. Irish whip reversed, clothesline misses, DDP cocks the fist but Christian ducks, and DDP takes the opportunity to apply a HUGE powerbomb! Cover, 1, 2, NO! Whip is reversed - knee by Christian - punch misses - back suplex but Christian lands on this feet - Un-Prettier reversed, Diamond Cutter NO Chrstian rams him into the corner, charges but Page dodges - Diamond cutter NO, Christian holds onto the ropes - Page tries again - Christian reversed into the Slop Drop! Cover, 1, 2, NO!! Chrsitian is REALLY mad - but he takes a deep breath, and collects himself. Attaboy! Goes to pick up Page but he gets rolled up 1 2 NO! Both men up - kick is caught - punch misses - DIAMOND CUTTER! Cover, 1, 2, 3!
The winner, and STILL European Champion, 'Diamond' Dallas Page (6:09)
Page celebrates, then gets a mic! "Christian, I gotta tell you somethin', I'm proud of you bro! Not only did you lose tonight, but you didn't lose your temper, and that's pretty impressive! You controlled your anger, even though you lost in front of 67,000 fans here watching in the SkyDome, and the zillions of fans watching at home. And Christian, that's not a bad thing - that's....a good thing." Cue the MEGA-TANTRUM!! It's just like somebody from FLORIDA to cry when they lose, eh? DDP leaves amongst US (not MY side, though), and Christian simmers in the ring.
Coach interviews The Rock "Finally, The Rock has come back to Toronto! Hulk Hogan, the stage is set, WrestleMania, the biggest matchup of all time, a matchup that will determine who will go down as the greatest ever! And Hogan last week you asked the Rock, you stood in the ring and asked the Rock 'What'cha gonna do when Hulkamania tuns wild on you?" After making the Coach look bad, he goes on to say he wants Hulkamania in all of it's glory, 'cause what'chYOU gonna do when THE ROCK runs wild on YOU?"
WWF Hardcore Title Match
THE CHALLENGER: from Hollywood, California, weighing 262 pounds - GOLDUST
THE CHAMPION: from Somewhere (we weren't told!), weighing 229 pounds - MAVEN
I didn't even know this match was going to take place - I guess it was added at Heat and we didn't find out. Goldust sends Maven crashing to the ground as he tries to get in the ring and we're on!
Goldust pounding away, then whips Maven NASTILY into the barrier. Then he props Maven on the barrier, breaths, and double ax-handled Maven off the railing! That looked GREAT. Cookie sheet shot which I hear VERY clearly from where I'm sitting. Goldust rolls him into the ring and grabs and sets up a golden trash can. Takes down Maven - catapult into the trash can but Maven dodges it (sorta), grabs the can, and drop-kicks it into Goldust's face (sorta) - Cover, 1, 2, no. Goldust with a kick to the gut - suplex NO small package 1 2 no! Maven's punch misses - neckbreaker. Cover, 1,2, no. FRONT SUPLEX! Goldust goes under the ring and gets a golden shovel, puts the handle under Maven (who's on his hands and knees), then steps on the end, spearing Maven right in the throat! Kick, Goldust sets up the can between the second and third ropes, head into the turnbuckle - assorted punches. Whip into the garbage can! Cover, 1, 2, no! Goldust gets another golden trash can lid, but Maven's got one too - and they CLOCK each other! Both guys down, so Spike Dudley sprints down and covers Maven - 1, 2, 3!!
Your NEW Hardcore Champion, Spike Dudley (3:16? - hmmmm)
Spike celebrates, but there's Crash Holly, and Spike sprints out through the crowd, Spike hot on his heels, and Goldust and Maven follow them...and that's it. Guess we'll get back to them later.
Here's Drowning Pool with "Tear Away" to tell us the story of tonight's WWF Undisputed Championchip Match. This sounded pretty good live, but I was waiting for "let the bodies hit the FLOOOOOR". The video behind them was cool - well, except for all the Steph in it.
Meanwhile, the Amazing WWF Camerman has caught up to Crash and Spike! Crash whips Spike into a sign on a wall, cover, 1, 2, no! Exchanging punches but there's Al Snow (in a golf cart with Teddy Long) and they drive right though a whole bunch of boxes and disappear! Crash gets right back on Spike but Spike throws Crash into a STEEL door and walks away with his belt - but wait, there's a WHOOSH and The Hurricane swoops in on a rope and gets within two feet of Spike, which is somehow enough to knock him down! Cover, 1, 2, 3!
Your NEW Hardcore Champion, The Hurricane
Hurricane grabs his new belt and WHOOSH's away, while Al tumbles through the boxes. "Where'd he go? DAMN! DAMN!" Spike sells Hurricane's body odor like a king (had to be that - nothing ELSE knocked him down).
Your hosts, Jim Ross and Jerry 'The King' Lawler give us a Moments Ago of Moments Ago, and remind us that on April 21st in Kansas City is WWF Backlash!
ONE FALL MATCH
from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, weighing 237 pounds, KURT ANGLE
from Parts Unknown, weighing 326 pounds, KANE
The "You suck" chant was SUPER-LOUD in the building, and HARDLY EVEN THERE on the tape. Angle has words for us! "Before I get started, I just wanna say one thing. If I would've one my Olympic Gold Medal the way this country won its Figure Skating medals, I'd wanna shoot myself in the freakin' head!" Once again, the boos on the tape do not do the actual noise level justice. "Because unlike your so-called Olympic Gold Medallists, I didn't win my Olympic Gold medal by whining and complaning under someone gave it to me! I won it the old-fashioned way - I EARNED it! Becuase I am the Big Red White n' Blue Machine! And Kane, I hope you're listening, because after tonight, yer gonna wish you" BOOOOOOOOM that's the end of THAT promo. Kane lights the four corners on fire, but Angle NAILS Kane with the ring bell! They get it back to the timekeeper so he can ring the bell and start the match!
Right, right, right, right, right, right, right by Kane, right by Angle, Kane, Kane, Kane, clothesline misses - German Suplex! Kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick - I sense a pattern. Angle's punch is blocked, right by Kane, another, a third, irish whip, elbow. Kick in the corner, right, whip into the corner, blatent choke! GOOZLE but Angle grabs the ropes - ref makes Kane break - Angle charges but eats clothesline. Uppercut, whip to the corner, kane charges but Angle dodges, Angle charges but catches an elbow, Kane charges and misses - Belly to Belly Overhead Suplex!! Kurt follows with a clothesline! And another (stiff) one! Commentators are really selling Kane's "head trauma". Assorted kicks by Angle, shock on the second rope. Right, Right by Kane, another, a third, kick by Angle, whip to the corner - back suplex! Cover, 1, 2, no! Angle with a front facelock, but Kane slowwwwwly powers out - punches to the stomach - Kane DROPS Angle right on his stomach. Kick by Angle, punches, off the ropes, but Angle runs right into a sidewalk slam. Big kick - Suplex NO Angle drops behind - German Suplex! Holding on for a second! And there's a THIRD!!! Cover, 1, 2, NO! Angle going up top - flying clothesline!! Angle poses! Crowd BOOS! Angle's so happy he's gonna go up top again! But this time, Kane catches Angle with a clothesline on the way down! Both men down - ref counts, but both men are up at 5. Right by Angle, Right by Kane, Angle, Kane, Angle, Kane, Kane, Kane, knee by Angle, right, right, Irish whip reversed, big boot! Clothesline! Whip, baaaaaaaaaaack body drop! Angle in the corner and he eats a clothesline! Whip to the other corner - Kane picks up Angle with ONE ARM - powerslam!! Cover, 1, 2, no! Whip into the corner by Kane - he charges but eats elbow. Angle charges - GOOZLE - CHOKESLAM!! Cover, 1, 2, NOOO Angle puts his hand on the bottom rope! Kane signalling for the tombstone!! He's got him up, but Angle goes for the mask and almost rips it off!! Kane shoves him off and fixes, but while he does, Angle from behind - ANGLE SLAM!! Cover, 1, 2, NO!!! Down go the straps - ANGLELOCK!! Kane screaming, but rolls over and kicks Angle off, but Angle SLAPS IT RIGHT BACK ON. Kane screaming even more - sloowwwlly heading to the ropes - and gets there! Angle still has Kane's foot, but Kane's up on his other foot! KANE-ZIGURI!! Down goes angle "tim-berrrrr" style! Both men down again - Kane up at 3, limping badly. But, he's goin' to the top rope anyway - but Angle springs up the ropes and suplexes Kane off!!!! GREAT spot - and there's a replay of it. Angle Slam NO - GOOZLE - CHOKESLAM NO ANGLE with a Victory Roll but he can't stay on top - now he's got his feet on the top ropes, 1, 2, 3!!!
Your winner: Kurt Angle (10:44)
Angle leaves quickly, celebrating - Kane holds his head in frustration. Great match - a shame they couldn't get that last spot exactly right though.
Meanwhile, The Hurricane is sneaking around the back with his belt. He hears something, so he grabs a broom and hides behind a dressing room wall thing while women take off their clothes. They see Hurricane holding the promo like a Hurri-schlonger, scream, and The Godfather comes running and pulls on it, causing Hurri-Perv to flee.
NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH
from Death Valley, weighing 305 pounds - THE UNDERTAKER
from Charlotte, North Carolina, weighing 232 pounds- 'THE NATURE BOY' RIC FLAIR
Ross tells us that a) Taker is 9-0, and b) Flair's career started in 1975. Cool. Flair rushes the ring and we're on!
Flair with rights, Taker right misses, right, right sends Taker outside! flair follows but eats a right, right by Flair, Flair charges and sends Taker over the announcer table! Flair with a whole bunch of rights, and one WOOO! Another right, another, Taker fires back with a right, Flair comes right back. Knee by Taker drops Flair - both men now back in the ring. Flair back on him - right, left, right, right drops Taker to the outside - WOOO! Flair jumps from the apron but Taker catches him and rams him back-first into the ringpost. Big right drops Flair. Taker rams Flair's head into the stairs, then rolls him in. Taker stares down and trash talks some fans then gets back into the ring and eats a Flair right. Right, left, right, left, right - Flair waving his fists like the pugilists of old - left, big right. WOO is cut off as taker grabs Flair by the neck and throws him in the corner - Undertaker Flurry O' Punches drops Flair to one knee. Back up now - headbutt drops flair. Taker picks him up - Irish whip into the corner and Flair tries to do the flip to the apron but couldn't do it. So, taker takes him back to the corner - elbow, right drops him. Taker whips him again, and this time the Flair Flip works - and Flair eats a HUGE BOOT from Taker. "Now we go to school!" says Taker, who just went to school himself - The School Of Test. STOP STEALING TEST'S MOVES! Big right drops Flair. Flair sitting in a chair - Taker shaking his head in disapointment - more HUGE rights and lefts. Here's the replay of the flip, and the Stolen Test Boot. Another huge right, and Flair is busted open. Another big right - another, three, four. Taker being very, very methodical here. Quick uppercut by Taker, who's cut on his cheek. Taker shaking his head at flair - ANOTHER huge right drops him and Flair's getting bloody in a big hurry. Taker rolls him back in, off the ropes, boot to the head. Pciks him up, into the corner - Right, right, right. Flair drops like a cut-down tree, bleeding profusely. Flair FINALLY gets in some offense with a HUGE chop - and another! 3! 4! 5! Whip to the corner reversed - BIG clothesline drops Flair in a hurry. Big kick to the head. Repeated rights right to the cut on the head. Taker looks at a fan and says "Get yer ass up here". AWESOME. There's blood on the camera now. Flair in the corner - Taker whips him into the other - there's a another big Clothesline. Flair is stumbling around - Taker grabs him and perches him on the top rope. Big right - Taker up on the first rope, telling Flair to look at him - headbutt. Up on the second rope - big right. Up on the THIRD ROPE - HUUUUUGE SUPERPLEX!!! Cover, 1, 2, TAKER PULLS HIM UP! Heree's a replay of that that HUGE superplex. Flair: "You sunuva..." Big chop, but Flair can't stay on his feet, and Taker puts him down further with a kick and a drop-fist. Flair draped over the apron - Taker walks and drops the elbow on Flair's head. Turns Flair over on his stomach - up on the apron - LEGDROP ON FLAIR'S HEAD! Flair is Taker's BITCH. Taker back in, Cover, 1, 2, PULLS HIM UP AGAIN! Taker shaking his head. Peppering rights to Flair's head - Flair bleeding like a stuck pig now. Taker slowly measuring - big right drops Flair, and Taker talks trash to the fans. Big elbow drop MISSES! Flair with a right! A chop! Another chop! A third NO, Taker catches Flair with a right, left, and another right and down goes Flair again. Taker's got his arm - up to the top rope - Old Skool NO, Flair pulls him off! Flair can barely stand. HUGE chop. Another. Off the ropes, runs right into a sidewalk slam. Cover, 1, 2, no! Taker off the ropes - big boot MISSES and he crotches himself on the top rope! Chop! Chop! Right hand sends Taker to the floor! Over by the bike now - big eye rake by Flair - Flair's got the lead pipe from Taker's bike - and Flair NAILS Taker with it (sorta)! WOOO! We follow Flair so Taker can blade. Pipe to the stomach! Pipe to the back of the head!! Pipe to the stomach again!! But Taker charges and nails Flair against the ring, sending the pipe rolling across the ring - Flair forlornly watches it roll away. Walking down the aisle - right by Taker - Taker runs Flair's head into the railing. But Flair's got a Keep out sign - TWO shots right to the head, and two more to the spine! Taker rolls back into the ring and Flair follows. WOOOOO! "NOW!" says Flair - Peppering rights! WOOO! Taker on his knees - Flair measures - big right hand. Flair off the ropes, but runs into a GOOZLE - but a BOOT TO THE BALLS drops Taker! Taker manages to get back to his feet - Flair with a single-leg takedowwn - FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK!! Undertaker screaming in pain, Flair putting everything he's got into the hold - Taker falls back! 1, 2, TAKER SITS UP! Flair with a "deer in headlights" look - GOOZLE breaks the hold - they're on their feet - CHOKESLAM!! Taker crawls over - cover, 1, 2, NOOO!!! Taker can't believe it! Now he's MAD - repeated rights, cover, 1, 2, NO! Here's the replay of the Taker sit-up and the look in Taker's face would scare Mike Tyson. Meanwhile, the ref is giving taker crap, so Taker runs him into the corner. Now taker out and he's got the lead pipe! But Flair kicks Taker in the knee - chop, chop, Irish whip, Flair lets him go by but there's Arn Anderson out of NOWHERE - SPINEBUSTER! Flair covers, 1, 2, NOOO!!!! Taker sees Arn on the outside, and quickly crawls over and nails him with a right! Now on the outside - another right, and Arn is ALREADY busted open. big boot drops Arn again. Dragon Sleeper on Arn! but there's Flair with a chair - chair-shot to the back!! Another to the shoulder! Ramming the chair to the stomach! Another chair shot, but there's not much on it! Off the ropes, Taker's HUGE boot drops Flair to the ground. Taker picks up Flair - LAST RIDE....no, he can't quite get him up. Now he tries again, but Flair falls to the ground. taker smiles and shakes his head - TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER!!!! Cover, 1, 2, 3!
Your winner: The Undertaker (18:47)
The Undertaker is now 10-0 at WrestleMania. Charles Robinson raises Taker's hand - and EATS A HUGE CLOTHESLINE!! Awesome! Taker steps to the apron and counts to 10 on his fingers to show his 10-0 WrestleMania record. Best brawl I've seen in a loooong time. I liked it after seeing it live - I LOVED it after watching the tape. AWESOME.
Michael Cole's with Booker T, who's wearing glasses in an attempt to look smart. That attempt fails miserably (and humerously) when he mention's Enstein's Theory of Relatives. "You mean the Theory of Relatively, right?" "SHUT UP, sucka! He had TWO theories! You think you're so smart, well let me tell you somethin'. Edge ain't smarter than me, he ain't better than me, and he DAMN SURE ain't as good looking than I am! Y'know something, after tonight, Edge is gonna be the spokesman for a new product. And that product will be the new book, called "I Just Got My Ass Kicked At WrestleMania by The 5-Time WCW Champion"!! Now can you dig THAT....sucka?"
Here's a shot of the Hard Rock Cafe and other beautiful parts of SkyDome. Ain't it purty?
ONE FALL MATCH
from Houston, Texas, weighing 269 pounds - BOOKER T
from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, weighing 240 pounds - EDGE
Edge is accompanied by the Forceable Entry ad, available March 26th. Ross tells us that the last time Mania was here, Edge was a young kid in the 6th row, wearing a Hulk Rules T-shirt. JR has been GOLDEN hyping up the guys as they approach the ring. There's the bell!
Locup, Booker backs up Edge, they roll around, ref wants a break, Booker nails Edge - Edge comes back with a forearm. Booker, Edge, Booker's is blocked, forearm, forearm, side headlock by Booker, Ieiah qhip, shoulder block drops Edge. Off the ropes, Edge drops down, Edge leapfrogs, Edge dropkicks. Facebuster! Cover, 1,2, no. Forearm to the back, another to the head, Irish whip reversed, Booker drops Edge neck-first on the top rope! Spinning kick by Booker! Cover, 1, 2, no! Clothesline sends Edge over the top. Booker measures - big shot to the back. Booker rolls Edge back in and heads to the top! MISSILE DROPKICK!! Booker can do ANYTHING!! Cover, 1, 2, NO! Big right by Booker puts Edge in the corner. Here's a replay of the dropkick wihle booker lands some kicks and chops in the corner. Booker kicks Edge to the ground, but he's back up and there's some rights and a chop for Booker. Irish whip reversed, HUGE ALABAMA SLAM! Cover, 1, 2, NO! Booker BACK to the top but Edge shakes the ropes and Booker gets crotched! Booker perc hed on top - his right is blocked - couple rights by Edge. Hurricanrana, and Edge almost landed RIGHT ON TOP of Booker. Ouch. There's a replay of the Alabama Slam. Both guys down - right by Booker, irish whip, clothesline MISSES, spinning heel kick by Edge! Clothesline! Another! Irish whip reversed, knee by Booker - he's got that look - Scissors-kick MISSES - Edge-O-Matic!! 1, 2, no! Edge going to the top - spinning heel kick from the top! Cover, 1,2, no! Whip into the corner but Booker jumps over and rolls him up IN ONE MOTION but Edge rolls out of it! Catapult into the top rope! Spear MISSES and Edge eats second turnbuckle! Superkick!! Booker's got that look! He's looking at his hand! Spinnarooni!! Off the ropes - SCISSORS KICK! Cover 1, 2, NO!! Booker "WHAT?!" Here's a replay of the misses spear BOOK END NO, Edge counters with an elbow and an arm drag! SPEAR! Cover, 1, 2, NO!! Uh oh...Edge is down on HIS knee! He's looking at HIS hand! It's the (awful) EDGE-A-ROONI! Edge knew it sucked so he shurgs his shoulders as to say "hey, what'd you expect?" Side-kick by Booker MISSES, Edge-a-cution NO, reversed, side kick NO, reversed, EDGE-A-CUTION! Cover, 1, 2, 3!!!
Your winner: Edge (6:32, which when divided by 2 is 3:16 - hmmmmmm)
Edge pounds his heart and thanks his home-town boys. TERRIFIC match on tape - didn't come off nearly as well live, which is a damn shame. I hope they keep this feud going (and give them something better to feud over than Japanese shampoo), because they work REALLY well together.
Meanwhile, The Hurricane is sneaking off with his Hardcore belt, when the Coach catches up with him and asks what happened with the Godfather's escorts. "Are those moves really becoming of a super-hero?" "Holy Insinuation, Citizen Coach! You dare question the integrity of The Hurricane? WHATSUPWITDAT? I am NOT, a Hurri-Perv. What I AM, is the Hurri-Hardcore Champion, 24/7!" Out of nowhere comes Mighty Molly, who obviously was moving faster than the speed of sound because her WHOOSH is a good second late. "Quick, to the Hurri-cycle!" "And how!" Hurricane turns to head to the Hurri-cycle, but Molly CRACKS HIM ONE with a frying pan! Cover, 1, 2, 3!!
Your NEW Hardcore Champion: Mighty Molly
Molly rips the belt off of a no-doubt-confused-and-concussed Hurricane and runs off screaming in joy!!
ONE FALL MATCH
from Victoria, Texas, weighing 252 pounds - 'STONE COLD' STEVE AUSTIN
representing the New World Order, from ? (we weren't told!), weighing 265 pounds - SCOTT HALL
The pop for both these guys on the tape sounds NOTHING like the pop they actually got. Ross tells us that Austin is 4-1, with his loss perhaps being his best effort when he passed out against Bret Hart in 1997. When hall comes out, he makes the New World Order Point towards the back, and out comes Kevin Nash. Well, at least he's there from the start and won't RUN in. Nash is a MONSTER in person, by the way. Austin attacks and we're underway!
Right, right, right drops Hall. Kick, kick, kick, lots and lots of kicks, Irish whip, elbow. head to the turnbuckle, again, chop, chop, chop, chop, EYE POKE OF DOOM stops that. Right by Hall, another, Irish whip reversed, elbow misses, Lou Thesz Press! Mounted rights! Screw You Elbow! Head into the turnbuckle many times while the crowd yells "What?" with each blow! finger to the ref! Irish whip, Hall grabs the ropes and takes a break because Hall is SMART. Hall finally gets around to taking his vest off while Nash follows, but Austin follows Nash and nails him in the back with a forearm! Austin rams Hall's head into the table, two chops, knee, head into the stairs. Austin rolls Hall in, Irish whip, Austin puts his head down and gets a kick and clothesline for his efforts - cover, 1,2, no. Kicks by Hall, Hall and Nash talk about something - Hall takes Austin to one corner and starts chopping him while Nash takes the top turnbuckle off the OTHER corner - that's TEAMWORK! Austin takes over in the corner with 7 punches, whip to the corner reversed, Austin's back hits the exposed turnbuckle! I never saw THAT happen live! Where was I?? Hall pushes Austin to the outside, right by Nash, and you know it's retribution time - big right by Nash - another floors Austin. Hall follows to the outside - nails Austin with a right and rolls him back in. Kick. Irish whip to the corner, followed by a clothesline. And another! Austin scooped up - Contractually Obligated Fallaway Slam! Cover, 1,2, no! There's a shot of Nash looking eeeevil. Irish whip by Hall, hip toss is reversed, Austin's hip toss is blocked - STIFF clothesline. Cover, 1,2, no! Hall chokes him out with his leg, and while he's got the ref distracted, Nash nails Austin with a forearm. Kick by Hall, another, another, 4, 5, 6, Hall distracts the ref and Nash nails Austin AGAIN. Irish whip reversed by Austin - spinebuster! Both men down and back up at 3. BIG right by Hall - and another. A third floors Austin. "Get up!" says Hall. Austin does so and gets two more rights - off the ropes, STUNNER OUTTA NOWHERE(!!) Cover, 1, 2, Nash pulls Tim White out of the ring and NAILS him! How Nash is in the ring! Three consecutive forearms floor Austin three consecutive times! Nash tells Hall to go get something, and that something is a chair! Full Nelson on Austin by Nash, but kicks Hall before he can hit him! He kicks Nash in the nuts to break free! STUNNER ON HALL! STUNNER ON NASH! Austin covers Hall, but there's no ref! Jack Doan comes screaming down the ramp and slides all the way across the ring into a PERFECT position, 1, 2, Nash CRUSHES HIM with an elbow! Austin back up - clothesline sends Nash out! But Hall's back up - kick to the stomach, Razor's Edge NO, Austin backdrops him over the top rope!!!! EVERYbody's down! Austin manages to pick up the chair from the ground while A Whole Wack O' Refs come down and get Nash to go back to the locker room. Austin sneaks up on the outside and lands a bunch of rights - rolls Hall in, kick, STUNNER NO Hall pushes Austin into the exposed turnbuckle - SCOTT HALL STUNNER! Tim White is back up! Cover, 1.....2.....NO! SCOTT HALL STUNNER NO, Austin pushes HIM into the exposed turnbuckle, STONE COLD STUNNER, but Hall doesn't go down! A SECOND STUNNER, and Hall goes FLYING into the air and down to the canvas! Cover 1, 2, 3!!!
Your winner: 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin (9:52)
Austin drinks many Molson Canadians in his victory celebration - he's now 5-1 at WrestleMania! Say what'cha like about over-booking, but that came off REALLY well live AND on tape. Maybe it could've been longer, but it didn't have to be. ROSS SAYS CANADIAN BEER CANADIAN CANADA CANADA CANADAN CANADA
Here's lots of great shots from Fan Axxess! It ruled! Go wayyyyyyyy up to the top of this report to read HOW much it ruled!
FOUR CORNER CHAMPIONSHIP ELIMINATION MATCH FOR THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
THE CHALLENGERS: acc. by Stacey Keibler at a combined weight of 567 pounds - Buh Buh Rey and D-Von, THE DUDLEY BOYZ
THE CHALLENGERS: at a combined weight of 574 pounds - Farrooq and Bradshaw, THE APA
THE CHALLENGERS: at a combined weight of 441 pounds - Matt and Jeff, THE HARDY BOYZ
THE CHAMPIONS: at a combined weight of 529 pounds - BILLY AND CHUCK
The Dudleyz come in to the LIVE version of their new theme music from Saliva, and it sounded GREAT live - or maybe I was just staring at Stacey gettin' down with the lead singer. Either way, I love the new tune. This report's long enough, let's get started!
The APA attack Billy and Chuck as they come in - Bradshaw Irish whips chuck - elbow. Right, irish whip, clothesline misses, cross body but Bradshaw catches him (you CAN'T cross-body Bradshaw!) - Billy back in and ducks the boot and yanks Bradshaw to the canvas. Chuck off the ropes but eats boot, and now BILLY goes for the cross body because he's STOOOO-PIIID - guess what? Bradshaw catches him and lands the Fall-away Slam. Kick to Chuck, forearm to the back, chop, back suplex which looked REALLY painful. Kick, forearm, tag to Farrooq. Rights by Farrooq while Bradshaw holds him. Another right drops Chuck. Whip to the corner but Farrooq eats clothesline. Buh Buh: "Tag ME!" 360 punch floors Farrooq. Chuck boots away now, and billy joins in. Ross: "These guys enjoy a double-team, I can tell you that." Lawler: "What?!" Tag to Billy - chokehold. BIG right floor Farrooq - cover, 1, 2, no. Kick to the gut, call for the Famouser, off the ropes but Farrooq catches him in a powerslam and tags Bradshaw. Shoulder block, irish whip, elbow, shoulder block for Chuck, DDT on Billy. Cover, 1, 2, no! Billy tags in D-Von, who runs in and eats shoulder block. Irish whip reversed - D-Von gets a kick while Buh Buh (who snuck in to go for the 3D) get spinebuster from Farrooq. Farrooq and Chuck on the outside. Whip to the corner by Chuck, he charges but misses - CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL, and Billy does that AWESOME inside-out flip to sell it. But Bradshaw walks right into 3D! (3:26) Jeff and Matt come in - Matt nails D-Von, Jeff wails on buh buh. Double Irish whip on Buh Buh, Double baaaaaack body drop. Double Irish whip on D-Von, elbow, double elbow-senton. Jeff covers, 1, 2, no! Ross: "Who in the hell is legal?" You got ME!Double Irish whip on Chuck - double kick, double DDT which looks GREAT live, and AWFUL on the tape. The Dudleyz set up a table until Matt attacks D-Von. Jeff and Buh Buh on the inside - Jeff kicking away, whip to the corner, Whisper in the Wind. Shirt comes off and there's some weird dye stuff on Jeff's chest. Stacey's up on the apron and wiggles her ass while hitching up her shorts - and Jeff copies her, which is REALLY, REALLY FUNNY. Jeff smacks her one on the glutes, applies a Figure Four Lip-Lock and Stacey falls to the canvas. Oh yeah, you're not gay NOW, Jeff. Now Jeff's on buh Buh's shoulders while billy goes to the top rope - Dudley Device (sorta)!! Billy punches matt, but backs into a Buh Buh Bomb. Buh Buh: "Time to die, Jeff Hardy!" Big chop, Buh Buh's got a shirt or something and he's chokin' Jef with it at Stacey holds her butt. Big chop, another, right hand, whip into the corner, Buh Buh follws with a forearm. Another whip into the corner but Buh Buh eats feet, but D-Von whips Jeff into the ropes from the apron - baaaaaaaack body drop. Kicks by Buh Buh. Cover, 1, 2, no. Side headlock by Buh Buh but Jeff powers out - rights, irish whip, blind tag by D-Von, Buh Buh catches the foot and D-Von clotheslines him. Cover, 1, 2, no. Big right floors Jeff. "Get up, boy!" Rights and kicks by D-Von. Vertical Suplex. Cover, 1, 2, no. Tag to Buh Buh. Big right drops him. Whip into the corner and Jeff ends up in the Tre of Woe so Buh Buh stomps away, than STANDS ON HIS GROIN (ow!!) until Matt knocks him off and send him to the outside. Buh Buh from the outside: "Don't let him tag!" Buh Buh RULES. Buh Buh back in - tag to D-von, who applies a choke. Irish whip, torpedo elbow, "Who's The Man", no answer. Irish whip reversed, clothes reversed, Slop Drop reversed into his own Slop Drop for Jeff. Both guys down, and it's been about 3 years since Billy or Chuck have been in the ring. D-Von tags Buh Buh, Jeff tags Matt! clotheslines by Matt! Another! kick, DDT! Baaaaack body drop for D-Von, who is then thrown to the outside! Punch for Billy, top rope clothesline for Chuck, but Buh Buh lands a back suplex! Buh Buh up top - OH MY GOD WILL THE SENTON WORK AT WRESTLEMANIA? NOOO! Ross: "I don't think Buh Buh's ever hit that move." NOOO KIDDING. AAAaaaaahh leg drop, cover, 1,2, no! Irish whip reversed, slam by Buh Buh - Whazzzuuuuup NO, Billy PUSHES D-VON FROM THE TOP RIGHT THROUGH THE TABLE FACE FIRST!!! WOW! Buh Buh nails Chuck, charges Matt, clothesline misses, Twist Of Fate! Swanton from Jeff! Cover, 1, 2, 3! (11:48) Chuck in and clotheslines Jeff, and a big super-kick to Matt! Cover, 1, 2, no! Clotheslines misses Jeff - Groin Leg Drop! Billy throws Jeff out - One And Only NO, Matt gets out of it - Side Effect! There's a replay of D-Von going through the table, but it's a horrible angle. Billy whipped into the corner - Poetry In Motion on Billy! Now Chuck whipped into the corner - Poetry In Motion on Chuck! Twist Of fate! Swanton Bomb!!! But there's Billy with the FAMOUSER! Matt clotheslines Billy and himself to the outside! Cover, 1, 2, NOOO! Billy runs in and NAILS Jeff with the tag team belt! Cover, 1, 2, 3!!
Your winner, and Still WWF Tag Team Champions: Billy And Chuck (13:51)
Billy shows his belt to a dead D-Von on his way back to the dressing room.
Meanwhile, Scott laments over his loss. "He got lucky", he said. Nash says "what just happened tonight, we take out on the Rock" Hogan comes in and asks them to stay at the back - he needs to do it himself. He needs to find out in his heart if he's the man. Hogan leaves, but Hall and Nash whisper to themselves that they're gonna get involved anyway. Well, thanks for telling us ahead of time....
Meanwhile, Molly is sneaking around the back with her newly-won Hardcore Title. She heads toward one of those doors where the top and bottom open seperately, and as she goes through, she is ABSOLUTELY HAMMERED by somebody slamming the top part of the door in her face! We can't see who it was....now we do! It's Christian! "Stand back, there's a new champ comin' though!" Christian covers, 1, 2, 3!
Your NEW Hardcore Champion, Christian
Christian celebrates, then instantly becomes aware of his surroundings and runs off.
ONE FALL MATCH
representing the nWo, weighing 280 pounds - 'HOLLYWOOD' HULK HOGAN
from Miami, Florida, weighing 275 pounds - THE ROCK
The entrance pop for Hogan is CRAZY. I'm really surprised. MAMMOTH stare-down, and the crowd is going NUTS, although I'd say it's about a 50-50 split between the two right now. Hogan's had enough of the stare-down, he moves away, the ref rings the bell and IT IS ON:
Lockup, Rock forced Hogan back a couple of steps, Hogan walks back, Rock back him off again, Hogan FIRES ROCK OFF TO THE CANVAS. CROWD CHEERS!! Hogan PUMPS UP!! CROWD GOES NUTS!!!!! Hogan says "Just Bring It!" They lock up again - side headlock by Hogan. Rock tries to shoot him off but Hogan won't let him - he sinches it in. Rock with a right to the stomach, another, NOW he shoots him off, shoulder block by Hogan! Hogan PUMPS UP AGAIN! CROWD ABSOLUTELY LOSES IT~! And let me tell you, not even the tape does the cheering justice. It's now about 70-30 for Hogan. Hogan tells Rock again to bring it - Rock nods and says "OK!" Rock looks a little stunned with the crowd reaction, to say the least. So does Hogan, for that matter. Lockup, knee to the gut by Hogan. Punch to the back. Another! Right to the head! "You ain't nothin' but a meatball!!" Big right! "You ain't nothin, meatball!" THUNDERLIPS RETURNS~!!! Irish whip, clothesline by Hogan, and THE CROWD LOVES EVERY MOVE HOGAN MAKES. Big right, Irish whip, clotheslines misses, Flying Clothesline by Rock! Kip up! Crowd BOOS!!! Rock says Just Bring It! Crowd BOOS HARDER!!! I do NOT BELIEVE what I've hearing - this is AWESOME. Rock walks right up to Hogan and gives him the Just Bring It sign - shove by Hogan! Shove by Rock! Hogan's right is blocked, right, right, right, right, BIG right almost sends Hogan to the floor! Hogan now goes out himself to re-group, and Rock follows! Shot to the back of the head, and Rock rolls him back in! Right, right, Irish whip reversed, body drop NO, Hogan gets kicked - clothesline! Rock measuring Hogan - Rock Bottom NO Hogan lands an elbow and the CROWD CHEERS! Big right floors Rock! Irish whip, big elbow by Hogan! Crows CHEERS! One elbow! Two elbows! Three - no, a rake of the face with the boot instead! CROWD DRINKING HOGAN'S KOOL-AID! Big right! Whip to the corner, clothesline! HUGE "Hogan" chant! Big right, another whip, kick to the stomach, repeated rights! Irish whip, spear by Rock! Mounted rights! Lawler CANNOT BELIEVE how hostile the Crowd is to Rock, and neither can I! Rock's right misses - back suplex! CROWD LOVES IT! Cover, 1, 2, no! Abdominal stretch by Hogan! Nailing Rock with rights at the same time! SCHOOLBOY BY HOGAN 1 2 NO!! BACK RAKE OF DOOM! AND AGAIN, AND THE CROWD IS GOING BATSHIT~! Hogan smiling despite himself! A THIRD, and there is 67.000 consecutive orgasms throughout SkyDome! big right, chop, right, chop, right, chop, Hogan to the second rope - 3 punches - HOGAN BITES HIM!!! WOW! Rock takes over and the CROWD BOOS IMMEDIATELY! Chops by Rock, whip into the corner is reversed, Hogan charges but eats elbow! Rock charges - CHOKESLAM BY HOGAN!!! Hogan choking out The Rock! Hogan takes off te tape from his hand and chokes out the Rock with it!! ANOTHER "Hogan" chant!! Hogan's right is blocked, right by the rock, Hogan's is blocked, right, right, right, crowd BOOING AGAIN, off the ropes, Hogan throws Rock over the top! CROWD LOVES IT! I cannot explain what is happening with this crowd right now, but I love every single second of it. Hogan rams Rock's head into the stairs, then drops him on the barrier! Now Hogan takes apart the English announcers table! But Rock stops him - Hogan right blocked, right, right, right, right, head rammed into the table thee times, Rock TALKIN' TRASH, head AGAIn into the table. ROCK'S GOT A CHAIR!!! But the ref takes it away from him!! When Rock turns around, he's clotheslined by Hogan! Hogan rolls Rock into the ring and follows him in. Right by Rock, another, Irish whip reversed, double axe handle across the back of the head, which sends Rock right into the ref! Big right by Hulk, another, here's a replay of the ref bump. Irish whip by Hogan is reversed - spinebuster by Rock!! Crowd BOOS! Both men down.....then slowly back up! Rock takes Hogan down - SHARPSHOOTER!!! Hogan tries to power out.....and he gets to the ropes!! But there's no ref! Rock PULLS HIM OFF THE ROPES!!! And HOGAN TAPS!!!!!!! But there's no ref to see it! Rock releases the hold and angrily tries to revive the ref. "ROCKY SUCKS" CHANT!!! THIS IS INSANE!!! Rock heads toward Hogan - UPPERNUT BY HOGAN! ROCK BOTTOM BY HOGAN!!!!!!! I DON'T BELIEVE IT! COVER! ONE! TWO! NOOOOO! Hogan can't believe it, and the crowd is MAD! Hogan takes off his belt and waves it around, and WHIPS The Rock two or three times! Now he puts the belt around his hand - Irish whip, right hand with the belt misses - kick, DDT by Rock! CROWD BOOS AGAIN!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?! Now ROCK's got the belt, and he's WHIPPING HOGAN!! ROCK BOTTOM!!!! Cover, 1, 2, NOOO!!!!! Hogan's HULKING UP!!!! Right hand - NO SALE!!!!!!! Another right hand - THE FINGER POINT OF DOOM~!!!!! Spit right is BLOCKED, Right, Right, Right, off the ropes, Big Boot!!!!! LEG DROP!!!!!!!!!! Cover, 1, 2, NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Hogan can't believe it! The entire CROWD can't believe it!!!! Hogan with right hands - ANOTHER big boot! Leg Drop MISSES!!! Rock measuring.....ROCK BOTTOM!!!!! CROWD BOOS!!!!! Rock's up....picking Hogan up - ANOTHER ROCK BOTTOM!!!! Rock nips up! Off comes the elbow pad, and ***NOW*** the crowd cheers for the Rock! PEOPLE'S ELBOW! Cover, 1, 2, 3!!!!!!
Your winner: The Rock (16:26)
That was UN-believable. Rock slowly gets to his feet and gets his hands raised in victory - does the victory post on the corners - but Hogan slowwwwly gets to his feet. They're face to face - Hogan looking sad, stunned, and hurt, holding his ribs.......he extends his hand. And Rock takes it. WOW. Rock poses again - Hogan gives props to Rock in the ring - but wait, there's Hall and Nash! Hall throws the toothpick! Nash nails Hogan! Another right! Hall with the kicks! Nash with another forearm but The Rock's back in! Rights to Nash! rights to Hall! Hogan floors Hall, and Rock clotheslines Nash over the top rope! Hogan dumps Hall over the top! Rock's music plays again! The nWo back off while Hogan makes the "4 Life" sign and looks upset that his brothers would turn on him. Hogan goes to leave...but Rock stops him. He wants Hogan to hulk up for the crowd! He wants him to hold the ear to the crowd! So Hogan slowly comes in - and there's the hand to the ear on all sides! There's some Hulking up as the Rock eggs him on with a smile that would light up Toronto. They shake hands again and leave the ring together - Rock holds the ropes open for Hogan. Rock checking on Hogan to make sure he's ok as they head up the ramp, and there's a replay of The Handshake Seen 'Round The World. They get to the top of the ramp and Hogan raises the Rock's hand, and The Rock literally has tears in his eyes.
Wow. WOW. I have no idea how to explain what I have just seen. That was, by FAR, the greatest wrestling moment that I have personally witnessed. This is your Match and Moment Of The Year, to say the LEAST. There is no way to put into words the emotion that went through me as I watched that. For about 16 and a half minutes, I was a 10-year old wrestling fan again, and I loved every second of it. I sure hope you did too, becuase I don't think it gets any better than that.
WELL....I guess there's more matches, eh? While I'm coming to terms with my emotions, the Big Show kidnaps a small child at WWF New York.
Howard announces the attendance of 68,237 - the biggest crowd at SkyDome in the history of the building. Beautiful.
WWF WOMEN'S TITLE TRIPLE THREAT MATCH
THE CHALLENGER: from Somewhere On The Planet, LITA
THE CHALLENGER: from Toronto, Ontario, Canada - TRISH STRATUS
THE CHAMPION: from New Orleans, Louisiana, JAZZ
Champion enters first because she's a) not over, and b) not from Toronto. Trish is wearing the Maple Leaf CANADA CANADA CANADA but before he gets tor the ring, Lita an Jazz get into it and we're underway!
Lita with rights, Jazz with rights, Trish gets there and hauls jazz off and her and Lita start kicking her down. Excanging blows, double irish whip, kick to Trish and a right to Lita by Jazz. Trish with some forearms, but Jazz counters into the half-crab! She lets go to attack Lita - Weird Submission Move Nobody Likes! Big leg drop! cover, 1, 2, no! Double-underhook suplex by Jazz! Reverse kick sends Trish outside. Monkey flip and mounted rights by Lita. Irish whip reversed, flying head scissors. Kick, whip to the corner, spinning back suplex! Cover, 1, 2, no! Rake of the eyes by Jazz - clothesline on the top rope! Perching Lita on the top rope - Jazz climbs up setting up a superplex but Trish comes in and puts Jazz on her shoulders, but Jazz lands a right to break free. Back to Lita, but she gets kicked - schoolgirl by Trish, cover, 1, 2, no! Lita high cross body's Trish but Trish rolls through! 1, 2, no! Right by Jazz on Trish, Lita with a clotheslines - Trish with a big kick on Lita - Trish-dog! Cover, 1,2, Jazz saves. Big splash by Jazz, 1, 2, No! Trish charges and misses - fishermanbuster by Jazz! Cover 1, 2, no!! Jazz axe handles Lita and goes back to Trish, but Trish lands a bulldog, 1, 2, Lita saves! Now THEY have words, but both turn and nail Jazz, then start shoving each other! Slap by Lita! Forearm by Trish! Lita, Trish, Lita, Trish, Lita, Trish, Lita, Lita, Lita, Irish whip, UGLY back body drop which probably hurt Trish's knee. YIKES. Lita going for the Twist of Fate on Trish, but she changes her mind and lands it on Jazz instead. UGLY slam on Trish, Lita goes to take her shirt off but almost took off something she wasn't supposed to so she stops - up top, Double Moonsault EATS KNEES! Rollup by Trish, 1, 2, no! Trish with a chop, another, a third, 4, 5, Whip is reversed but Trish blocks with her foot, charges out, and they kinda bump heads. Jazz back in and Trish backslides her, 1,2, no! Lita baaaaaack body drops Jazz over the top! Kick by Lita to Trish, back suplex NO, bulldog but Lita tosses Trish right into the corner and outside. Ouch! Lita wants Jazz to get up - Lita goes to the top but Trish knocks her off - trying a bulldog from the top but Jazz knocks Trish off - TOP ROPE FISHMANBUSTER!! Cover, 1, 2, 3!
Your winner, and STILL WWF Women's Champion: Jazz (6:17)
So Edge is the only Canadian to win tonight - wowzers, didnt' expect that. I'll get over it though. Some ugly spots here but a real cool finishing spot and considering what they had to follow, they did pretty well.
Meanwhile, Christian is celebrating his Hardcore Championship! He throws his stuff into a cab and opens the door, but first stops to admire his belt. "I can almost see myself!" He's about to get into the cab, but there's Maven with a ref, and he schoolboy's Christian, 1, 2, 3!!!
Your NEW Hardcore Champion: Maven
Christian FREAKS! He can't BELIEVE IT! that guy is JINXED!
UNDISPUTED WWF CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
THE CHALLENGER: from Grenwich, Conneticut, weighing 272 pounds - TRIPLE H
THE CHAMPION: accompanied by Stephanie McMahon, from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, weighing 227 pounds - CHRIS JERICHO
Well, I'm very glad they had this match last. Drowning Pool plays Triple H down to the ring with their version of his theme song - it's not too great, but it doesn't completely suck either. We know what this is about - let's see who The Man, is, shall we?
They circle each other, Jericho goes for a leg takedown but doesn't get it. Lockup, H forces Jericho to the corner, Jericho reverses, he goes for the leg but H lands a few punches and they break apart, H limping slightly. Lockup NO H lets him go, then catches him with a right on the way back. Right, right, Irish whip, baaaaaack body drop. Arm bar, clothesline. Jericho in the corner, H follows but gets a kick, 3 chops, irish whip reversed, clothesline misses, high knee hits but it makes H limp noticeably. H charges but gets baaaaack body dropped over the top rope! Jericho poses on the top but gets caught, and he throws Jericho across the barrier!! Jericho lands on the fan's side, and H SUPLEXES HIM BACK OVER. H breaks the count and begins to take apart the Spanish announcer's table. H grabs Jericho but Jericho starts kicking the knee! Three kicks later and H rolls back into the ring. Chop block! Jericho puts H's leg on the ropes and lays in the boots! Ref backs Jericho off - heads back but eats a spear from H and gets some mounted punches too. 2 elbow drops on Jericho's knee - make it 3. Now H is working on JERICHO's leg, kicking it out from underneath him a couple times. Eye rake by Jericho, clothesline misses, BIG kneebreaker by H. FIGURE FOUR BY H!!!! But Steph rakes H's eyes to break it! She poses, but H grabs her by the hair! He about to throw her in, but Jericho charges - but H dodges and Jericho nails Steph!! They both tumble out of the ring! H comes down and puts Steph in the ring - I think this is the moment they've been teasing for the last two weeks....PEDIGREE ON STEPH NO, Jericho with a missile dropkick from the top! The tease continues! Jericho drags H to the ring post and SMACKS his knee against it! And again! Steph is over and SHE gets a kick to the leg in! Jericho rolls H back in - Kick to the head, right by H, but Jericho lands some forearms and drops the elbow on H's bad knee twice. Now Jericho puts his leg on H's thigh and yanks upward on his leg!! But H is able to get free. Now jericho RAMS H's knee into the canvas! Another time for good measure! Back to the ringpost - another smack for the knee! There's a slap from Steph! Jericho's got H's legs wrapped around the pole - FIGURE FOUR AROUND THE POLE!!! But the ref makes him break it! Hebner telling Jericho to get back in the ring, and he does. "C'mon, baybah!!" Jericho heads to H but gets some rights to the stomach, now some to the face, but a drop toe hold sends H to the ground - INDIAN DEATHLOCK (I think)! Jericho working over the knee again, using the ropes for leverage when the ref doesn't look! Figure Four NO, H pushes Jericho into the ringpost! Jericho clothesline MISSES - neckbreaker! Right by H, two kicks to the leg by Jericho, off the ropes, HUGE clothesline by H - cover, 1, 2, no! Right by H, another, Irish whip reversed - facebuster but H did it on his bad leg! Jericho charges but H basically tosses him aside - looked like a blown spinebuster. H Irish whips Jericho - and THERE'S the proper spinebuster. cover, 1, 2, no! Rights by H, whip into the corner reversed, reversed AGAIN, H is sent FLYING over the top rope. H is selling the quad like a king. Now Jericho takes apart the English announcers table, throws some kicks H's way, then puts H on the announcer table - Walls of Jericho NO, H kicks Jericho off him. Right by H, Pedigree NO, BACK BODY DROP THROUGH THE SPANISH ANNOUNCER'S TABLE!!! There's a replay of it. Jericho grabs H and throws him in the ring - LIONSAULT! Cover, 1, 2, NO!!! Another cover, 1, 2, no!! Jericho is getting mad! Jericho takes H down - trying for the Walls but H lands some rights and pushes Jericho off! Jericho charges - bulldog but H sends him into the corner - Pedgiree NO, Jericho punches the bad leg - this drops H! WALLS OF JERICHO!! H SCREAMING trying to get to the ropes - can't quite make it! And JERICHO DRAGS HIM BACK TO THE MIDDLE! H not moving much now - Jericho: "ASK HIM! C'MON!" Hebner checks - the arm falls once...twice...third time does NOT go down! Another burst of strength from The game, and he reaches the ropes!!! Jericho can't believe it! He thought he won! Jericho throws the timekeeper out of the way and gets a chair! Goes for the chair shot but Jericho eats boot, which sends the chair back into his own face!! DDT BY H ON THE CHAIR!! Cover, 1, 2, NO!!! now Steph's in the ring - she's got the chair! She takes a run at HHH but Hebner grabs the chair and tells her to get out - Steph shoves Hebner! Steph turns around and there's HHH - maybe THIS is the moment we've waited for - yep, PEDIGREE ON STEPH!! Crowd loved that! H talks trash to Steph, but turns around and EATS A NASTY CHAIR SHOT! Cover, 1, 2, NOOO!!! Jericho is SHOCKED! There's a replay - OW. Jericho wants H to get up - kick - Pedigree by Jericho NO, H catapults Jericho but Jericho lands on the second rope!! He turns and jumps off but gets kicked in the gut - PEDIGREE!!!! Cover, 1, 2, 3!!!!
Your winner, and NEW Undisputed WWF Champion: Triple H (18:41)
H looks utterly spent - but he's got enough to stand and raise his belts in victory! There's a pose on the ropes! There's a replay of the Pedigree on Steph - and the Pedigree on Jericho for the title victory. H kneels in the middle of the ring with his belts, a happy man.
Here's a video recap of everything I've spent all day typing to the live "Superstar" by Saliva that they played at the start of the show - I'd recap it but, technically, I already have! There's a shot of H holding the belts up, HUGE WWF logo, and THAT'S IT.....for you!
For us, however, we get a few short words from the new champ: "I'm not gonna make any sappy speeches, but for all you guys in the back...it's TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!" H leaves to his Motorhead theme, and that's REALLY IT!
My expectations we're great, but once again, the WWF delivers when they have to. A total thumbs-up WrestleMania. If you really wanna gripe, there were a number of blown spots - the biggest one being the one at the end of the Angle/Kane match, but the overall show was amazing. Hell, the Rock/Hogan stuff was completely worth the admission alone. Hall and Hogan both lookeed solid (well, Hogan looked good until the match was over, then I thought he was gonna drop dead), and the "Reset" button is officially pushed. It's pretty much an clean slate for RAW - which is technically over now, so make sure you read this first. Whaddya MEAN, "Too late"?
Whew....longest recap in history! Hope you enjoyed it.