Pre-Recap Notice: Technicial difficulties bite me on my first
ever WWF Recap show. I went over to a friend's house and recorded the whole 12
hours. I get home, and both tapes are blank. Damn! So, you get the live,
one-time-thru recap version of the show. If Chris Jones does file a report, I
encourage you to check it out for detailed rundowns on the three-way IC-Euro
match [the only one I didn't take notes on.] Oh yeah - I'm filling in for
absentee WWF Recapper Marvellous Martin, but he still manages to get his two
cents in, as his editorial comments are in italics here and there.
Lillian Garcia works tonight! As she sings the national anthem, and damn she's got the pipes, we could not possibly be any more LIVE from the sold-out Anaheim Pond in California, 4.2.2000 for Wrestlemania 2000, brought to you by Snickers! And we get right to the action on the biggest PPV ever!
The Godfather and D'lo Brown [with Long Island Iced T and the
hoes] vs Bossman and Mini-Bossman Buchanan
Stephanie and Triple H chat backstage - nothing noteworthy said.
Earlier Today, Teddy Long explains the rules of the Hardcore Battle Royale: there's a 15 minute time limit, and if you score a pin on the champ, you're the champ. There can be as many pinfalls [or none at all, notes Crash] as 15 minutes will allow and whoever's holding the title at the buzzer is the winner. Fair enough, and this of course seques into
13 Man, 15 minute, last pinfall Battle Royale for the WWF
Tazz, Viscera, the Posse, Hardcore Holly, TAKA, Funaki, The
Headbangers and the aPa vs Crash Holly
Nice timer graphic in the corner, as Crash storms the ring,
and the brawl quickly spills outside. Tazz hits a head-and arm Tazzplex on Crash
Holly. 1,2,3! (:29) Both are yanked outside and Viscera hits the big splash for
the pin! (1:01). This is a bunch of I Hit You, You Hit Me(tm) goodness! Bradshaw
WAILING away with the cookie sheet, Crash blades off of a shot the camera missed
from Farooq, and Pete Gas has the AUDACITY to blade at the five minute mark off
a Funaki flag shot. In the ring, Viscera being doubleteamed [and not selling one
bit of it] by Taka and Funaki, and Bradshaw and Farooq pearl harbor Vis from
behind! They put Funaki on top! 1,2,3! (7:20). Funaki runs like a chicken [ha!]!
We're in the back - Rodney blasts Funaki with ...something and pins him. (8:15).
WWF Axxess - the atmosphere is ELECTRIC! At least, various WWF Stars spend five minutes telling me so in this clip.
Backstage, in the restroom, Al Snow is talking to a mystery person in a closed stall - Blackman stops by and warns him not to pull any stunts, cause this is Wrestlemania and all. Al gives him the "Who? Me? Pull any funny stuff? NEVER!" routine and then,after Blackman wanders off, wrinkles his nose at the smell. HILARITY, THEE NAME IS SNOW!
WHY do they let Trish talk?
The Lethal Cheddar Steve Blackman and Al Snow [w/Chester McCheeserTon and Head] vs T & A [with Trish Stratus, the Lethal Interview]
We bring out Chester McCheeserTon, a midget dressed as a wedge
of cheese. For the love of ....
Backlash is Sunday, April 30th! Save that 34.95 NOW!
EMTs attend to Chester McCheeserton.
The Cat is backstage totally naked. With the help of Mae Young, she manages to tease and still cover it up. "What should I wear?" Thousands of male fans: "What you've got on right now!"
Those Damn, Damn, Damn Dudleys vs Edge and Christian vs
We've got three ladders standing in the entranceway, and more laying around ringside. Those funloving California fans chant for "tables", making my blood run just a little colder. It's the three-way brawl to start, and Buh Buh nails a full nelson slam on Jeff. Incoming ladder, and Matt splats Buh Buh Ray in the face with it. Hardys gotz LADDERS! Matt covers D'Von with a ladder in the corner, Jeff covers Christian with one in the other corner. Elbowdrop on D'Von on the ladder! Christian rolls out of the way of the 450 splash from Jeff off the top! OUUUCHOLA! Jeff nearly killed himself there. Buh Buh nails Matt then puts the ladder on his head, spinning himself around to nail everyone with the end of the ladder. Christian puts a stop to that with a dropkick from behind, and then E & C FLAPJACK D'Von face first onto the ladder! We've got Ladder Number Three in here, and Edge uses it liberally on Matt and Jeff. Buh Buh and Matt on the outside, D'von and Edge down outside, Christian and Jeff in the ring, and Christian swats Jeff off the ladder, sets another one up near the apron, and does a suicide dive onto Matt and Buh Buh! That draws a "Holy Shit" chant. Jeff is going after the belts, but Edge spears him off the ladder from the second rope! Matt back in - Edge going after the titles - Matt with the cruficix powerbomb off the ladder! Matt going up - and D'Von throws him off. D'Von up now, and Christian does a flying LADDER clothesline to knock him and the ladder down! OUCH! OUCH! Buh Buh setting up ladders - Christian setting another one up - Edge is down - the Hardyz are both down - we have three ladders set up now. Buh Buh takes Christian up the ladder - HIS HALF of 3D off the ladders! "Holy Shit" chant is echoed by me and the viewing audience. The Hardy's are up on the ladders - and there's a doubleteam legdrop/elbow [called "Rolling Thunder" in ECW] off the ladders on Christian! Jeff gets tossed off the ladder to the floor. Ladders being set up again - HOLY SHIT, all six men are on the three ladders! Christian and Jeff get shoved over and fall to the floor, courtesy D'Von! Matt and Edge's ladder gets knocked over, and they get crotched on the top rope! The chanting for tables makes me ill. The Dudleys rule the ring, and they set up two ladders, pausing to beat down Christian, and give Edge 3D. And the Dudleys BRING OUT THE TABLES! This is about to get all sorts of insane. Buh Buh sets up a table on top of the two ladders, and D'Von sets up two more on the outside, one near the commentary position, one in the aisle. Cue the Carnage!
MX2's take - Some great spots, but not as good as the last Ladder Match, or the tables match.
Christian came close to matching Jeff on the bump-factor, who'd have thought?
Edge and Christian win!! YYYYYEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS
This match misses out on four stars because its too difficult avoiding comparing it to the previous gimmick matches involving these teams. It only gets *** 99/100
Backstage, Mick Foley and Linda Mac give us what for. Linda's glad he gets to live his dream, and Mick thinks that finally, it may be his night.
Catfight - The Kat [w/Mae Old] vs Terri Runnels
Chyna and Too Cool vs Those Rascally Radicalz
Backstage, Big Show speaks [and says nothing I care to transcribe!]
Backstage, Kurt Angle inquires about extra security for his celebration after he retains both belts. The security guy seems kinda apathetic about the whole thing.
Triple Threat 2 Fall Match for the IC and Euro
Well, as I said, I watched this live- but I didn't take any notes, figuring to do it from tape. No such luck, as the VCR was broken. Therefore, I have no recap for Fall #2, featuring Y2J's Euro Title win - please check other FINE [Slash] recappers [perhaps a link here or up there, Chris?] for details on that.
Angle gets the first shot in, but Jericho slides out of a
belly to back suplex attempt and dropkicks Angle in the back. Flying elbow from
Beniot to Angle - Jericho with a springboard dropkick on both
Backstage, Vince is gonna be raising the hand of the victorious Rock in the main event, or so he says.
More Backstage Goodness - Stephanie and HHH note the fact that they are both WWF Champions, and they're gonna keep them, and such trivia.
Kane and Rikishi Phatu vs Those Dastardly Weed Lovers,
Backstage with the Rock - and I hand you over to MX2.
MX2 Special Addition -
Seeing as people complain when CRZ doesn't transcribe the Rock, I went out of my way to make sure that his big speech as Wrestlemania did not go undocumented.
"Finally, The Rock has come back to WRESTLEMANIA. I know, the millions, AND MILLIONS of the Rock's fans have come here to see The Rock win the WORLD TITLE. But that's not the only reason The Rock is here. The Rock is here to talk to his army, his army of bunnies. They have been waiting for my signal to invade the Whitehouse. ATTACK, THE ROCK'S SMALL FLUFFY MINIONS!! SOON THIS COUNTRY WILL BE THE ROCK'S!! The only ones who stand in the way of The Rock and his millions, AND MILLIONS of The Rocks rabbit death squads are the hedgehogs. IT DOES NOT MATTER ABOUT THE HEDGEHOGS!!!! Those hedgehogs can take there tactical nuclear wepons, shine them up real nice, and shove them right up their candy asses!! If you SMEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL MY GOD GENE what The Rock is cooking!!"
Big Show vs Mick Foley vs HHH vs Rock [w/ One McMahon
Rock and Show pair off, as do HHH and Foley to start. Mick hits his running knee smash in the corner, the Rock tosses a few rights the shows way before a powerslam puts him down. Show nails a double clothesline on HHH/Foley, then gorilla press slams the Rock and HHH to show his POWER! Headbutt knocks Mick down, but Mick jumps on Show's back, applying a facelock, and of course, Show falls backwards to put mick in serious trouble. Show with the sidewalk slam on Mick, Mick hits the low blow, and they are triple teaming the Show, with a 3-on-1 offensive flurry! Rock clotheslines the Show, double stompfest, Mick grabs a chair, and PLASTERS both Show and HHH with it! There's the Rock Bottom on Show, goodnight. (4:47)
HHH filibusters with Foley - nope, no doubleteam there - the Rock agrees to doubleteam Mick - but of course, plasters HHH with a right to the back of the head as soon as they charge! Rock and Sock Connection shows their championship doubleteam work [HA!] with a double clothesline. Brawl on the outside - Mick holds HHH for a bell shot - and in the MOST SHOCKING turn of events EVER, HHH ducks and the Rock nails Mick. H takes advantage, whipping Rock to the steps and then dropping him throat-first across the guardrail. We return to the ring, and then Mick brings in the barbed wire board. HHH with the low blow, there's a board shot to the head. H tosses Rock, but Mick's up and it's the final appearance of Mr. SOCKO! Crowd goes crazy for that- HHH escapes - and Rock clobbers him with the title belt! Mick applies Socko on Rock, drawing the ire of the crowd. As Rock and Mick tussle, Vince slides in a chair, but nothing comes of it immediately, as Mick hits a clothesline and Double Arm DDT. 1,2,NO! Boot, and then the floatover DDT by Rock, and HHH with the save? Ross speculates that it's because HHH wants to pin Mick himself. HHH with a takeover - Mick with a kneelift for two - Double Suplex on Rock - HHH with the kneedrop for another two. Outside we go, and the Rock gets the better of HHH, and then whips Mick to the STEEL steps! Mick pastes the Rock with a chairshot, then HHH puts Rock on the Spanish table. Mick to the second rope - and he BLEW that one - slamming his elbow into the corner of the table and completely missing the Rock. HHH with the improv - he jumps onto the rail and then jumps off onto the Rock - using his weight to put Rock through the table. Back into the ring- Mick missing a charging elbow - HHH with the chair shot - Pedigree gets only two. HHH pedigrees Mick on the chair - DAMN IT, 1,2,3. (19:43)
Mick runs back to the ring, and NAILS HHH with the barbed wire
board, and Rock gets two off of that. Punch, punch, punch, punch, duck-n-miss,
Cactus clothesline puts both men on the floor, and the two fight down the aisle
towards the back, with the Rock hitting a suplex on the concrete near the
curtain! They fight through the crowd, and back to ringside, where the Rock
charges with the steps - and HHH blocks that with a chair shot. PILE DRIVER on
the steps on Rock! OUCH! HHH gets him back into the ring, but it gets two. Rock
Bottom blocked - Pedigree countered into a back drop to the floor. Spinebuster
on the concrete [Ross, "double leg takedown"], and snap suplexes
HHH through the Spanish Table! Good stiff spot there, and HHH
with the drop toe hold, dropping Rock into the STEEL stairs. Cue
the McMahon Overbooking of Doom.
Vince attacks HHH to save Rock, and then Vince and Shane get
into it, culminating in Shane using a TV Monitor on Vince. Shane and Vince brawl
towards the aisleway [apparently Rock and HHH are both still out], where Shane
absolutely SLAUGHTERS Vince with a chair shot. The Stooges appear to take Vince
away, leaving Shane and Stephanie at ringside. FINALLY back to the ring, the
Rock is up first, with a DDT that gets two. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two.
Powerslam gets two. HHH comes back with the facebuster and a barbed wire board
shot. Shane into the ring - he's got the chair - but Rock ducks and slingshots
him into HHH to end THAT noise. Vince has seen enough, so he returns, grabs the
chair - points at HHH - and then hits the Rock with the chair! That gets two,
and Vince hits him again and HHH gets the pin? The Hell? (36:31). Well, fuck,
ExxxTra featured one notable thing - Hardcore Holly calling Michael Cole "a little shithead.". Heh. Otherwise, it was 30 minutes of Ross & Lawler recapping the show's happenings and throwing to interviews.
MX2's Take - I knew this would be an overbooked mess and
that's what we got.
Match by Match Breakdown
Godfather/Dlo vs Buchanan/Bossman - Absolutely no storyline here, but the story as far as wrestling's the same - D'lo rules, Buchanan has potential, and Godfather/Bossman are loyal WWF stiffs. Since they let Buchanan & D'lo do most of the work, this worked. Thumbs Up.
Hardcore Battle Royale - Here's your comedy match - guess what? It was funny, well booked, and worked well. They blew the ending but a good improv by playing up the "controversial" factor of the pin. Thumbs Up.
Head Cheese vs T&A
Dudleys vs Edge and Christian vs Hardys
Radicalz vs Too Cool/Chyna
Angle Vs Benoit vs Jericho
The Main Event
Overall - Certainly a mixed show, and the main event's horrid booking sank it somewhat - but the wrestling don't lie - and with four EXCELLENT matches and a hugely entertaining hardcore battle royale, there's just no other way to go: Thumbs Up. When was the last time you could say the excellent wrestling carried a WWF show, rather than the outlandish storyline?
Final Thought - This show is expected to be the best PPV, buyrate-wise, ever. And they sold it with WRESTLING. Get the hint, Vince [and Vince & Eric, and Paul].
And you *can* quote me on that.