Lillian Garcia works tonight! As she sings the national anthem, and damn she's got the pipes, we could not possibly be any more LIVE from the sold-out Anaheim Pond in California, 4.2.2000 for Wrestlemania 2000, brought to you by Snickers! And we get right to the action on the biggest PPV ever!

The Godfather and D'lo Brown [with Long Island Iced T and the hoes] vs Bossman and Mini-Bossman Buchanan
Why does Ice T repeat himself so? This sucks even worse live [as if the CD wasn't bad enough.].
[MX2 -Ice T? Shit.]
D'lo and Buchanan start, trading right hands, and D'lo goes to work, sliding underneath a Bull clothesline to hit a flying backkick [Ross, "spinkick"], and clothesline. Elbow dropped, nice powerslam and D'Lo misses with the elbow that time, Buchanan backkick gets two. Whip to the corner, Ten Punch Count-A-Long for D'lo, and Buchanan FINALLY decides to hit a WRESTLING move, that being a nice springboard clothesline out of the corner. Punch, punch, punch, kick, punch, Drop Toe Hold into the ropes by Buchanan! Youch! Big Boot by Bossman, Scissor kick by Buchanan, and we're outside to do some brawling, baby! The pace has considerably slowed here, fast-forward time as D'Lo escapes a Buchanan bear hug, but falls victim to a double-team double axe-handle attack, courtesy of a blind tag by Bossman. Gutbuster by Bossman gets 2, Buchanan off the top with a sledge, and D'lo Really Needs to Make a Tag, but Buchanan takes him to the top rope. Top Rope Superplex countered to a 'rana by D'lo! Tags on both sides and the Godfather is the Pimp of Fire! D'lo backdrops Buchanan over the top, Bossman in the corner, and there's the Ho Train! D'lo up for the Lo Down - but Buchanan crotches him! There's the sidewalk slam by Bossman, and a guillotine legdrop by Buchanan. 1,2,3. (9:05)
MX2's take - I kinda liked the ending, though I could see that Boss Man slam coming from about a million miles away. The match still kind of sucked though. 1/2*

Stephanie and Triple H chat backstage - nothing noteworthy said.

Earlier Today, Teddy Long explains the rules of the Hardcore Battle Royale: there's a 15 minute time limit, and if you score a pin on the champ, you're the champ. There can be as many pinfalls [or none at all, notes Crash] as 15 minutes will allow and whoever's holding the title at the buzzer is the winner. Fair enough, and this of course seques into

13 Man, 15 minute, last pinfall Battle Royale for the WWF Hardcore Championship Tazz, Viscera, the Posse, Hardcore Holly, TAKA, Funaki, The Headbangers and the aPa vs Crash Holly   Nice timer graphic in the corner, as Crash storms the ring, and the brawl quickly spills outside. Tazz hits a head-and arm Tazzplex on Crash Holly. 1,2,3! (:29) Both are yanked outside and Viscera hits the big splash for the pin! (1:01). This is a bunch of I Hit You, You Hit Me(tm) goodness! Bradshaw WAILING away with the cookie sheet, Crash blades off of a shot the camera missed from Farooq, and Pete Gas has the AUDACITY to blade at the five minute mark off a Funaki flag shot. In the ring, Viscera being doubleteamed [and not selling one bit of it] by Taka and Funaki, and Bradshaw and Farooq pearl harbor Vis from behind! They put Funaki on top! 1,2,3! (7:20). Funaki runs like a chicken [ha!]! We're in the back - Rodney blasts Funaki with ...something and pins him. (8:15).
(It hardly seemed worth Kaientai showing up really did it? -MX2). Joey Abs immediately attacks Rodney, and secures a pin following a gutwrench powerbomb on the concrete. (8:34). Joey Abs gets up - and runs into a Thrasher clothesline! (8:48). The brawl slowly spills into the entranceway, and back towards the ring. Pete Gas grabs a fire extinguisher, and sprays Thrasher in the eyes, and then hits him in the head with it! (9:31). Gas, Holly, Tazz, and Hardcore Holly are in the ring, the rest are fighting and such around ringside. Tazz grabs Gas - Northern Lights Tazzplex gets a pin! (10:11). Gas powders out, and we're down to Crash, Hardcore, and Tazz in the ring. The Hollys doubleteam him, as Hardcore hits The Best Dropkick in the Business, and a powerslam on Tazz for two. The Hollys fight amongst themselves, as we tick down to the one minute mark, and Hardcore gets tossed outside, how we do not catch as the camera is on Crash Holly, who has procured a cookie sheet, and PLASTERS Tazz with it for the pin. (14:24). Crash gets up - and Tazz slaps on the Tazzmission! 30 seconds! Crash trying to hang on as Tazz clamps in on - 10 seconds - there's Hardcore Holly with a glass candy jar to the head of Crash! 1,2, -not three - but Hardcore Holly is announced as the winner? (14:58). Looks like time was supposed to run out there - and somebody screwed up.
MX2's Take - The most enjoyable clusterfuck in wrestling history. They managed to keep surprisingly good track of the action, which is to be commended. Good booking, good ending. If it wasn't a big hardcore brawl it would have scored better. **1/2

WWF Axxess - the atmosphere is ELECTRIC! At least, various WWF Stars spend five minutes telling me so in this clip.

Backstage, in the restroom, Al Snow is talking to a mystery person in a closed stall - Blackman stops by and warns him not to pull any stunts, cause this is Wrestlemania and all. Al gives him the "Who? Me? Pull any funny stuff? NEVER!" routine and then,after Blackman wanders off, wrinkles his nose at the smell. HILARITY, THEE NAME IS SNOW!

WHY do they let Trish talk?

The Lethal Cheddar Steve Blackman and Al Snow [w/Chester McCheeserTon and Head] vs T & A [with Trish Stratus, the Lethal Interview]

We bring out Chester McCheeserTon, a midget dressed as a wedge of cheese. For the love of ....
Test and Blackman start, punch, punch, whip, Albert interferes, they make a wish[bone], Test CLOBBERS Blackman with a clothesline, and Snow tags in, double whip in, Stinger Splash from Snow! Punch, punch, punch, duck-n-miss by Test- nice clothesline by Snow, Snow ducks a Test clothesline and runs right into a Albert shoulderblock, trip by Test, springboard spinning legdrop by Albert~!, T & A going for the Vegomatic legdrop, but Steve chopblocks Test's right leg to prevent that. This pace would be described as "deliberate" by some. Northern Lights Suplex by Blackman, kick,kick,kick, kick-n-miss, blind tag to Albert, double whip, double elbow smash by T & A. Steve Blackman does his Benoit impression! DIVING HEADBUTT on Albert! There's one for Test! THE LETHAL CRIPPLER! Top Rope Sledge by Albert stops Blackman's momentum, double-arm suplex by Albert! Holy shit, Albert's got his WORKING boots on tonight! Test tagged in, sidewalk slam on Blackman, and there's a double team spinebuster by T & A! Blackman OFF THE TOP with a Plancha! Snow tagged in - but VegoMatic goes wrong thanks to a Albert save. Scoopslam by Snow - Albert in with a gorilla press slam, and Test drops the elbow off the top! 1,2,3. (7:10)
After the fact, Al Snow and Blackman beat up Chester McCheesterton, bringing in the obvious Chester Cheetah "It Ain't Easy Being Cheesy" joke, and they hit the Vegomatic on Chester.
MX2's Take - Good match, good solid performance from all involved. What does beating up Chester McCheeserton mean for the future of Headcheese? WATCH RAW TO FIND OUT. I want some CLOSURE dammit!!!
Solid and fun, would have made a better opening match. **4/5

Backlash is Sunday, April 30th! Save that 34.95 NOW!

EMTs attend to Chester McCheeserton.

The Cat is backstage totally naked. With the help of Mae Young, she manages to tease and still cover it up. "What should I wear?" Thousands of male fans: "What you've got on right now!"

Those Damn, Damn, Damn Dudleys vs Edge and Christian vs the Hardyz
Triangle Ladder Match for the WWF Tag Team Titles

We've got three ladders standing in the entranceway, and more laying around ringside. Those funloving California fans chant for "tables", making my blood run just a little colder. It's the three-way brawl to start, and Buh Buh nails a full nelson slam on Jeff. Incoming ladder, and Matt splats Buh Buh Ray in the face with it. Hardys gotz LADDERS! Matt covers D'Von with a ladder in the corner, Jeff covers Christian with one in the other corner. Elbowdrop on D'Von on the ladder! Christian rolls out of the way of the 450 splash from Jeff off the top! OUUUCHOLA! Jeff nearly killed himself there. Buh Buh nails Matt then puts the ladder on his head, spinning himself around to nail everyone with the end of the ladder. Christian puts a stop to that with a dropkick from behind, and then E & C FLAPJACK D'Von face first onto the ladder! We've got Ladder Number Three in here, and Edge uses it liberally on Matt and Jeff. Buh Buh and Matt on the outside, D'von and Edge down outside, Christian and Jeff in the ring, and Christian swats Jeff off the ladder, sets another one up near the apron, and does a suicide dive onto Matt and Buh Buh! That draws a "Holy Shit" chant. Jeff is going after the belts, but Edge spears him off the ladder from the second rope! Matt back in - Edge going after the titles - Matt with the cruficix powerbomb off the ladder! Matt going up - and D'Von throws him off. D'Von up now, and Christian does a flying LADDER clothesline to knock him and the ladder down! OUCH! OUCH! Buh Buh setting up ladders - Christian setting another one up - Edge is down - the Hardyz are both down - we have three ladders set up now. Buh Buh takes Christian up the ladder - HIS HALF of 3D off the ladders! "Holy Shit" chant is echoed by me and the viewing audience. The Hardy's are up on the ladders - and there's a doubleteam legdrop/elbow [called "Rolling Thunder" in ECW] off the ladders on Christian! Jeff gets tossed off the ladder to the floor. Ladders being set up again - HOLY SHIT, all six men are on the three ladders! Christian and Jeff get shoved over and fall to the floor, courtesy D'Von! Matt and Edge's ladder gets knocked over, and they get crotched on the top rope! The chanting for tables makes me ill. The Dudleys rule the ring, and they set up two ladders, pausing to beat down Christian, and give Edge 3D. And the Dudleys BRING OUT THE TABLES! This is about to get all sorts of insane. Buh Buh sets up a table on top of the two ladders, and D'Von sets up two more on the outside, one near the commentary position, one in the aisle. Cue the Carnage!

• Buh Buh powerbombs Matt through a table on the outside
• D'Von misses a dive onto Christian from the "ladder table" and puts himself through a table
• Jeff runs the rail outside and gets SWATTED LIKE A FLY with a ladder to the face! OUCH!

Backstage, Mick Foley and Linda Mac give us what for. Linda's glad he gets to live his dream, and Mick thinks that finally, it may be his night.

Catfight - The Kat [w/Mae Old] vs Terri Runnels [w/Moolah]
"Blind" Val Venis is the special guest ref, with cool referee towel. Wrestlemania and Val have something in common, so sayeth Val. Hairpull, and the catfight punch session is on! Terri gives Val a long, involved kiss, and the Kat tosses Terri off, only to give Val a quick smacker of her own. Mae tries to get involves, and the Kat tosses Terri over the top! Unfornuately, Val misses it, dealing with Mae. Terri's back in by the time he turns around - more PUNCHING! THIS is Wrestlemania, the biggest PPV of them all! Mae is in - and is kissing Val herself. UGH! Kat eliminates Terri - again - but Moolah pulls her out and puts Terri back up - when Val finally frees himself from Mae, he calls for the bell. (2:24)
MX2's Take - What, no hardcore nudity?
What, no lesbian love fest?
What, nothing of any worth to speak of? -**

Chyna and Too Cool vs Those Rascally Radicalz
Eddy and Scottie start - rope sequence ends with a nice takedown by S2H, and backbreaker - S2H tags Chyna, and Eddy RUNS and tags Malenko in. Heh. Chyna nails Malenko with a clothesline, Malenko's attempted powerbomb is blocked, double suplex by Sexay and Chyna! Chyna with a pretty good German Suplex but Sexay gets shoved off the top before he can do the Hip Hop Drop. Saturn in, doing nothing much besides mocking Sexay with his own glasses. Eddy in, dropkick, kick, kick, kick, S2H tagged in, double clothesline! Eddy snaps off a nice suplex, and drops S2H throat-first across the rope! Springboard senton in the corner by Eddy, Superkick by Sexay on Eddy! DOUBLE WORM on Saturn and Malenko! Saturn and S2H are legal now, uppercut, punch, kick - Saturn misses the elbow on S2H, Eddy G. is climbing but Sexay crotches him on the ropes! S2H with the superplex! Chyna tagged in! Eddy hides behind Saturn and Malenko - double clothesline from Chyna! Handspring elbow - on Saturn - another one for Eddy! Malenko and Saturn FINALLY get the best of her - but it's the DOUBLE Golotta! Chyna powerbombs Eddy [sort of]. Testicular Claw by Chyna on Eddy! Drop Sleeper by Chyna on Eddy. 1,2,3! (9:38)
MX2's take - Where did all the wrestling go?
Eddy is such a great heel.
Who came up with Chyna pinning Eddy and did The Rock teach her how to do powerbombs?
Disappointing. *

Backstage, Big Show speaks [and says nothing I care to transcribe!]

Backstage, Kurt Angle inquires about extra security for his celebration after he retains both belts. The security guy seems kinda apathetic about the whole thing.

Triple Threat 2 Fall Match for the IC and Euro Titles
The Robotic Crappler Chris Beniot vs Chris Jericho vs Kirk Angel

Well, as I said, I watched this live- but I didn't take any notes, figuring to do it from tape. No such luck, as the VCR was broken. Therefore, I have no recap for Fall #2, featuring Y2J's Euro Title win - please check other FINE [Slash] recappers [perhaps a link here or up there, Chris?] for details on that.

Angle gets the first shot in, but Jericho slides out of a belly to back suplex attempt and dropkicks Angle in the back. Flying elbow from Beniot to Angle - Jericho with a springboard dropkick on both men!
We're outside - brawling about, and Angle slingshots Jericho face-first into the STEEL steps. Jericho takes a DIVE into the Spanish table! Back in the ring, Kurt Angle has a suplex for both men, then a clothesline on Jericho gets 2. Y2J counters a flying shot into a backbreaker - Jericho headed upstairs - and Benoit SHOVES him off the top rope! German Suplex on Angle gets 2.9! Jericho back in, lands a dropkick on Angle - Jericho's Irish Whip is reversed, and Benoit lands a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for 2.5. Jericho up - and lands a bulldog on Kurt Angle for 2. Angle hits a German Suplex on Beniot, and Jericho off the top with the double axe handle for the save. Jericho applies the camel clutch! Angle saves - whip -big boot! Hanging Suplex from Jericho capitalized on by Benoit for 2. Y2J and Benoit into the corner, odd-looking victory roll by Benoit - gets 2! Sunset flip by Angle on Benoit - blocked for two! Angle's got the cross-face chickenwing on Jericho - Beniot saves! Angle dropkicked out by Benoit - FLYING HEADBUTT by Benji! 1,2,3! We have a new IC champion, CHRIS BENOIT! (8:02)
Fall #2 - For the Euro Title
Chris Jericho won the European Title with a Lionsault at (13:49)
MX2's Take - I got swerved. GO BENOIT!!!
I got swerved again. GO JERICHO!!!
Match of the night, these guys worked their asses off and managed to slip in a few wrestling moves while nobody was looking.
I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next here.
A big v.good for all involved. ****

Backstage, Vince is gonna be raising the hand of the victorious Rock in the main event, or so he says.

More Backstage Goodness - Stephanie and HHH note the fact that they are both WWF Champions, and they're gonna keep them, and such trivia.

Kane and Rikishi Phatu vs Those Dastardly Weed Lovers, DX
Tori slaps Paul Bearer, drawing Kane out of the ring as the bell sounds. Rikishi and Road Dogg start with a dazzling display of fistwork, then Road Dogg gets the ass in the face! Paul Bearer tosses Tori in, and she is saved from the hideous fate by Xpac, who then finally enters the fray when Kane tosses him in. Xpac quickly spinkicks Rikishi, and there's the Bronco Buster! We seem to be in fast-forward toss-a-match-together-mode here. Road Dogg tagged in - Shake-N-Bake punching, Shake-Rattle-Roll kneedrop, tag to Xpac. Xpac quickly gets mauled by Kane and Rikishi - a Kane Big Boot floors Xpac - Rikishi rids us of Road Dogg by tossing him over the top - Tori in now - Ass in the face on Tori! Xpac takes a neckbreaker [diamond cutter?] from Rikishi and the Tombstone from Kane in short order. (4:16)
And here's Too Cool - and the San Diego Chicken in to dance with Rikishi! Kane, remembering last year, glares at the Chicken, and attacks him following the dance sequence - everyone INCLUDING the announcers apparently thinking that it's Pete Rose in the suit - that is, until Petey runs in from behind with a baseball bat. Rikishi saves Kane, chokeslam on Rose! ASS IN THE FACE! Better luck next year, Petey.

Backstage with the Rock - and I hand you over to MX2.

Big Show vs Mick Foley vs HHH vs Rock [w/ One McMahon each]
Fatal Four Way Match for the WWF Title

Rock and Show pair off, as do HHH and Foley to start. Mick hits his running knee smash in the corner, the Rock tosses a few rights the shows way before a powerslam puts him down. Show nails a double clothesline on HHH/Foley, then gorilla press slams the Rock and HHH to show his POWER! Headbutt knocks Mick down, but Mick jumps on Show's back, applying a facelock, and of course, Show falls backwards to put mick in serious trouble. Show with the sidewalk slam on Mick, Mick hits the low blow, and they are triple teaming the Show, with a 3-on-1 offensive flurry! Rock clotheslines the Show, double stompfest, Mick grabs a chair, and PLASTERS both Show and HHH with it! There's the Rock Bottom on Show, goodnight. (4:47)

HHH filibusters with Foley - nope, no doubleteam there - the Rock agrees to doubleteam Mick - but of course, plasters HHH with a right to the back of the head as soon as they charge! Rock and Sock Connection shows their championship doubleteam work [HA!] with a double clothesline. Brawl on the outside - Mick holds HHH for a bell shot - and in the MOST SHOCKING turn of events EVER, HHH ducks and the Rock nails Mick. H takes advantage, whipping Rock to the steps and then dropping him throat-first across the guardrail. We return to the ring, and then Mick brings in the barbed wire board. HHH with the low blow, there's a board shot to the head. H tosses Rock, but Mick's up and it's the final appearance of Mr. SOCKO! Crowd goes crazy for that- HHH escapes - and Rock clobbers him with the title belt! Mick applies Socko on Rock, drawing the ire of the crowd. As Rock and Mick tussle, Vince slides in a chair, but nothing comes of it immediately, as Mick hits a clothesline and Double Arm DDT. 1,2,NO! Boot, and then the floatover DDT by Rock, and HHH with the save? Ross speculates that it's because HHH wants to pin Mick himself. HHH with a takeover - Mick with a kneelift for two - Double Suplex on Rock - HHH with the kneedrop for another two. Outside we go, and the Rock gets the better of HHH, and then whips Mick to the STEEL steps! Mick pastes the Rock with a chairshot, then HHH puts Rock on the Spanish table. Mick to the second rope - and he BLEW that one - slamming his elbow into the corner of the table and completely missing the Rock. HHH with the improv - he jumps onto the rail and then jumps off onto the Rock - using his weight to put Rock through the table. Back into the ring- Mick missing a charging elbow - HHH with the chair shot - Pedigree gets only two. HHH pedigrees Mick on the chair - DAMN IT, 1,2,3. (19:43)

Mick runs back to the ring, and NAILS HHH with the barbed wire board, and Rock gets two off of that. Punch, punch, punch, punch, duck-n-miss, Cactus clothesline puts both men on the floor, and the two fight down the aisle towards the back, with the Rock hitting a suplex on the concrete near the curtain! They fight through the crowd, and back to ringside, where the Rock charges with the steps - and HHH blocks that with a chair shot. PILE DRIVER on the steps on Rock! OUCH! HHH gets him back into the ring, but it gets two. Rock Bottom blocked - Pedigree countered into a back drop to the floor. Spinebuster on the concrete [Ross, "double leg takedown"], and snap suplexes HHH through the Spanish Table! Good stiff spot there, and HHH with the drop toe hold, dropping Rock into the STEEL stairs. Cue the McMahon Overbooking of Doom. Vince attacks HHH to save Rock, and then Vince and Shane get into it, culminating in Shane using a TV Monitor on Vince. Shane and Vince brawl towards the aisleway [apparently Rock and HHH are both still out], where Shane absolutely SLAUGHTERS Vince with a chair shot. The Stooges appear to take Vince away, leaving Shane and Stephanie at ringside. FINALLY back to the ring, the Rock is up first, with a DDT that gets two. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Powerslam gets two. HHH comes back with the facebuster and a barbed wire board shot. Shane into the ring - he's got the chair - but Rock ducks and slingshots him into HHH to end THAT noise. Vince has seen enough, so he returns, grabs the chair - points at HHH - and then hits the Rock with the chair! That gets two, and Vince hits him again and HHH gets the pin? The Hell? (36:31). Well, fuck, fuck, fuck!
Postmatch, the Rock passes out Rock Bottoms to Vince, Shane, and Stephanie [following her Slap on the Rock.]. He then delivers the People's Elbow to Stephanie to try to send the crowd home happy. It's over at 10:22!

ExxxTra featured one notable thing - Hardcore Holly calling Michael Cole "a little shithead.". Heh. Otherwise, it was 30 minutes of Ross & Lawler recapping the show's happenings and throwing to interviews.

MX2's Take - I knew this would be an overbooked mess and that's what we got.
This match was so predictable (except for Foley losing the way he did, that caught me), it was so obvious Big Show was going to go out.
I don't think there is a fan alive who wouldn't have seen the Vinnie Mac heel turn coming.
Too long, too much brawling, no closure on the ending, though it was quite compelling at times. *1/2

Godfather/Dlo vs Buchanan/Bossman - Absolutely no storyline here, but the story as far as wrestling's the same - D'lo rules, Buchanan has potential, and Godfather/Bossman are loyal WWF stiffs. Since they let Buchanan & D'lo do most of the work, this worked. Thumbs Up.

Hardcore Battle Royale - Here's your comedy match - guess what? It was funny, well booked, and worked well. They blew the ending but a good improv by playing up the "controversial" factor of the pin. Thumbs Up.

Head Cheese vs T&A
All of these guys are decent workers - Albert worked his ass off - but this was phoned in by everyone else. The Chester McCheeseton stuff was ..there. Thumbs Down.

Dudleys vs Edge and Christian vs Hardys
Like you have to ask...the only way this match could have been better is if the Hardy's had managed to nab the straps. TESTIFY! Thumbs Way the Hell Up. Match of the Night, as well. The Catfight
Your T&A match - but not even any notable T&A there. Nothing notable at all, now that I think about it. Thumbs Down.

Radicalz vs Too Cool/Chyna
Eddy Guerrero rules it as a heel. Chyna's work is sloppy - but all things considered, an excellently worked match. Thumbs Up.

DX/Rikishi/Kane
Um, no. The match looked like it was thrown together seconds before they went out under the curtain. A sloppily worked excuse for the now-traditional Pete Rose mugging. Thumbs Way the Hell Down.

Angle Vs Benoit vs Jericho
This would have been the Match of the Night on most PPVs - an excellently worked match with almost no blown spots - and of course, CHRIS BENOIT is the new IC champion. Was giving the WWF it's next megastar worth keeping Kevin Sullivan around, Mr. Busch? This is your [snort] legacy. Thumbs Up.

The Main Event
This was an excellent match - but the atricious booking killed it. Sorry,  but this is the BIGGEST goddamn PPV of the year, and I sure as hell didn't spent 45 bucks to see HHH and the McMahons continue to put themselves over for 37 minutes. Imagine if Austin had lost to the Rock last year via Vince chairshot. Thumbs Down.

Overall - Certainly a mixed show, and the main event's horrid booking sank it somewhat - but the wrestling don't lie - and with four EXCELLENT matches and a hugely entertaining hardcore battle royale, there's just no other way to go: Thumbs Up. When was the last time you could say the excellent wrestling carried a WWF show, rather than the outlandish storyline?

Final Thought - This show is expected to be the best PPV, buyrate-wise, ever. And they sold it with WRESTLING. Get the hint, Vince [and Vince & Eric, and Paul]. 

And you *can* quote me on that.