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/14 October 2000

WWF Jakked


Guest columnist: The Cubs Fan



The Dark Lord of Jakked Gangrel and Just Joe vs the Dudley Boys - Joe looks like he digs the fire entrance. Hayes (yay!) and Coachman are right into the Rikishi hype. The heels jump the Dud before the match stars, and why is the arena so dark? Simultaneous back suplexes by Duds, and they take over on Just Joe. Bubba with a slap, another whip, boot to the midsection, vertical suplex. Tag to D-Von, slam, 2nd Rope Dudleyville Jam. D-Von with a whip, reversed, Joe with a clothesline. Tag to Gangrel. Punch, punch, tag to Joe. Quick. Double whip, double clothesline, D-Von under and off the ropes with his own. Hot tag already? Tag to Bubba. Clothesline for Joe, clotheslined for Gangrel, backdrop for Joe, full nelson drop for Gangrel. Dudley Doomsday Device on Joe. Gangrel back in on D-Von, whip, reversed, 3-D, and we're in a hurry tonight. (2:01) I'm SHOCKED that Joe didn't take the pin, especially 'cause he was the legal man and all. Oh, wait, he's back in, slam, we forgot the wazzup spot. Here's your headbutt - time to get the tables? Hey, they're smart enough to do it after the match so they don't get DQed. Gangrel has wandered off, and Joe gets beat down by Bubba Ray while D-Von sets up the table. Is it kinda sad that this is just a normal squash spot now? Joe, Superbomb, hit the music. Replay. If Just Joe ain't get laid out, you ain't watching Jakked. Post match attack lasts 1:06.

Chyna had a bad week, Too Cool wrestle, but next, there was thing with a driver.

And what do you know - it's a No Mercy PPV ad right here.

WOW! - I wonder if those people who just showed up for a 3:00 battle royale last week got paid.

Austin/Rikishi replay package - as seen on Smackdown. Nice attention to detail - getting a picture of Hogan that makes him look ancient. On to clips of Smackdown - there was a truck, a commish, an announcer, and a no holds barred match. "Don't do it (Mookie)" The previous match was short to accommodate this extra long video package. I'm disappionted by the lack of armdrags and dropkicks - could we get to Essa already?.

Coming up later - Albert (w/Trish) and it looks like the engagement is off - but next, Too Cool get down.

Coach hypes Heat - last week, Steph was the guest host, and Pat Patterson took out DJ Skribble. What'll happen when Mick Foley shows up?

WWF random clips for - a WWF house Show, Sat Nov. 25. Tickets got on sale October 14th (thanks for telling me now.) That'd be Thanksgiving weekend, right? The WWF always picks the toughest schedule for me.

Lugz Boot Of The Week features three teams - The Hardyz, Lo Down and the Conquistadors.

Too Cool (w/that new music, no hos) vs The Latino Heartbreak Kid Essa Rios and Funaki - Taka's hurt, but no one mentions it. Essa's music plays for his team, and he's wearing his cool half red/purple tights. If Kai En Tai is ever pushed, Funaki needs new tights - Taka's always cool, but that plain blue thing Funaki's not.. We'll start with Funaki and Scotty. GMS starts the Clap. Scott with a headlock, off the ropes, shoulderblock, celebrate, off the ropes, under the leapfrog, takes Funaki down by the legs, elbow drop, Booker T's kip up. Tag to Sexay, double kick, double push down, homies double elbow. GMS gets down with his bad self. Sexay pulls Funaki up, eye poke, tag to Essa, who charges right into a hiptoss. Sexay with a corner whip, charge in, ducks the boot and slides to the outside. Sexay trips him up, and Scotty's over for the double team ring post crotching, but Funaki breaks it up, so he gets crotched into the post instead. Essa with the somersault plancha! That came from nowhere, and surprised the announcers as much as it did me. Essa almost dances, but instead kicks and punches. Head to the turnbuckle, clothesline, shots to the gut. Corner punches reversed by Scotty, corner whip, reversed, Scotty falls down .Essa with a European uppercut, that's different. Choke on the ropes. Essa with a body slam, and he's going for the moonsault. Does it hit? Nope. Scotty moves for the tag, tag to GMS, tag to Funaki. Clothesline, clothesline, body slam, enziguri.. Funaki goes for a rana and gets powerbomb - cover, 2 count. Corner whip by Essa, splash into the corner misses. Coach says Funaki's legal, and questions the ref for not noticing it. There's the bulldog on Essa, W-O-R-M, Scotty promotes the missionary position. Double flapjack on Funaki, and Scotty to the top. Hip Hop Drop, and that's it.(4:03) Both men were legal. Hayes like the music, and both guys get down in the ring, with the help of spotlights or pyro.

Later - Chris Benoit's beating people up, and Crash is in action - but next, Billy Gunn comes to Chyna's aid.

This program is brought to you locally in part by KIA..

We go straight into the Eddie/Chyna video package. Something's not right when Lawler's complaining about someone getting two women. To Smackdown where Eddie went after Billy Gunn. I guess Billy and Chyna got over that whole IC title thing.

Coming up later - Steph's managing someone new - but next, Albert vs Crash.

WWF Vote ad leads right into

Crash vs Albert (with Trish) in a KOTR 2000 Qualifier rematch - Crash strikes the Simon Diamond pose. Or is that the other way? Lockup, no Crash ducks it, kicks to the leg, off the ropes and right into a something from Albert. We'll call it a clothesline. Albert with lockup, down goes Crash. Crash ducks under a clothesline, kicks, corner whip, reversed, down goes Crash. Crash is hidden by the Heat graphic, but helpfully gets up to clothesline Albert. And again. Crash off the ropes again, and right into a bicycle kick. Albert with the double underhook hold slam. Cover, 2 count, foot on the ropes. Albert protests loudly. Albert with the slingshot into a hot shot into the second rope. Crash pulled into the center of the ring, elbow drop misses. Crash working that left leg with more kicks, and a dropkick. Crash to the top, and in tribute to Lance Storm appreciation week, here's a missile dropkick. Cover, 2 count, big kickout. Albert misses the clothesline, Crash charges him, gets backdropped on to the apron, kick to the left leg again, Albert stumbles around, tornado DDT, but Trish puts Albert foot on the ropes. He was close enough to the ropes that the ref . Trish up on the apron, Crash is interested. He wanders over, and gets slapped. There's your Albertbomb. (2:48) Albert sells the leg after the match some more.

Pure Ride Rewind shows Chris Benoit beating Triple H. Coach and Hayes talk about Benoit "actually" getting a pin in "controversial fashion", which gets us to Smackdown, and Triple H/Road Dog vs Saturn/Benoit. Later, Steph and Triple H talk. Apparently, Triple H went home after that. And then Steph and Angle and Kane. Hayes: "Any time Steph is in Kurt's corner, Kurt wins."

WWF "Don't Try This At Home" plug

One last segment to hype Heat - Mick Foley guest hosts, Too Cool takes on Edge and Christian, Road Dogg versus Chris Benoit and William Regal fights Chris Jericho. Cyprus Hill will play "Rock Superstar", too. See you next week.

The Cubs Fan
DDT Digest

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Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission