WWF Jakked by The Cubs Fan
Crash (w/Molly Holly) vs Vic Capri - Crash is too busy flirting with some fan to walk to the ring, so Molly has to pull him back on track. Your hosts are Jonathon Coachman and Michael Hayes and the benefit of this show moving to Tuesday is that I SHOULD tune them out, since anything they say is even less meaningful than usual. We last saw Vic getting beating up (then losing!) to Just Joe. Joe winning a match, that doesn't sound quite right . Lockup, headlock, off the ropes, shoulderblock. Off the ropes, off the ropes, under the leapfrog, Vic does a back rolling for no reason, let's run a little more, waistlock by Capri, Crash with an elbow, out, holds on the ropes, pause, Capri's cross body misses and he goes to the floor. Crash out, he's moving the stairs - why? Running up the stairs - and off with a somersault senton into the now standing Capri. Back in, Crash celebrates, corner whip, reversed, Crash rebounds out, Capri pulls him by the arm and runs him into the corner and Crash eats the second turnbuckle. Stomp. Right, off the ropes, reversed, clothesline misses, Capri with a Northern Lights Suplex, one, two, Crash gets a shoulder up but Capri holds on and chains it into another Northern Light Suplex (!) for 2, this time Crash getting loose. Capri argues the count. Right by Crash, right by Capri. Kick by Crash, right by Capri. Capri pulls him into the middle of the ring, hangman's neckbreaker with a little hip swivel for Molly. Molly is so not impressed. Capri doesn't give up, and gets rolled up for 2. Clothesline by Capri. Picking him up to a sitting position, right, right by Crash, right by Capri, choke on the mat. Break at 3, Capri tries for a German suplex, but it's blocked twice and Crash rolls him up - for 2. Whip, reversed, back elbow by Capri. Capri tries for a suplex but Crash falls behind and another rollup - for 2. Capri up with a kick. Stomp. Right. Lifting on the top turnbuckle, superplex? No, blocked. Blocked again. Super face buster. Crash rolls off the top, hangs in the corner, kick to the gut, clothesline misses, Crash with punches, whip, back elbow. Clothesline. Body slam. Head to the middle buckle. Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp, ref backs Crash out. Crash goes back in, and gets rammed into the ring post. Capri covers - feet on the ropes and the ref (Jack Doan) catches it. Corner whip, following in splash comes up empty - ACID DROP! 1, 2, 3. (5:12)
Here's that Rumble hype video I saw, what, twice on Heat? (3:08)
Coming up, Chyna hurt her neck. Later, Lo Down is in the house. But next, that World Title feud.
Kurt Angle and Triple H don't like each other. (2:51)
Coming up, Terri (w/Saturn), plus Chyna returned. But next, Lo Down.
1-800-Collect Slam of the Night was a Con-Chair-To and other assorted stuff.
Lo Down (w/Tiger Ali Singh) vs WCPW Battle Royale Champion Steve Boz & Jason Reign - You get one Tiger transcription a week and that's it. Oh, you can have "The three of us would never want to be like the rest of you" but that's all. Chad Patten holds the tray of rose petals. Hayes reminds Patten (and Mike Kiota) getting Rock Bottomed a few weeks ago - I wonder if they do? D'Lo and Jason. Right, right, right by D'Lo. Jason points to his chin, whip, D'Lo misses the clothesline but hits the forearm to the chin. How odd. The announcers got silent for a bit for no reason. Off the ropes, over the leapfrog, hiptoss blocked, clothesline misses, side kick hits. Tag to Chaz, whip, side slam/axe kick combo. "D'Lo sucks chant." Chaz chokes Jason with his shirt. Stomp. Kick to the back. Chop in the corner. Open hand slap. Corner whip, charge, Chaz eats a boot an then a spin kick. Tag to Boz, who's in and off the ropes - inverted atomic drop by Chaz and then a flying forearm. Corner whip, tag to D'Lo. Continuing the current discussion about Drew Carey, Hayes mentions that he's a ladies man. Hmmm. Chaz whips D'Lo into D'Lo-er Splash on Boz. Right, right, corner whip, kip up by Boz by D'Lo stopped well short and Boz turns right around into a flapjack. Elbow to the back. Another. Whip, reversed, head down too soon, big swinging DDT. Race to the tag. Tag to Chaz, tag to Jason. Punch misses, Jason's down, whip, backdrop. D'Lo's clothesline misses, double armbar, punches, kicks, double spin kick. All four in, Chaz gets a corner whip, reversed, Boz gets a fireman's carry face buster while Jason gets a clothesline. Double whip, double layout powerbomb. Chaz covers, because he's legal. (3:23) Hayes says it's Lo Down's time now. It's their time now, it's their time now, let the silly crap set them freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
As amazing as this sounds, this is actually not the first time Chris Jericho and Chris Benoit have met. They have the pictures to prove it, later. But up next, Chyna will get her hands on Ivory at the Rumble.
Chyna and Ivory. Yep. I might have already seen these video packages, but I rather see them again than have the long, unedited stuff that they usually do. (2:07)
It all comes down to one match for Jericho and Benoit. I guess Saturn's match right now isn't as important, because they don't say that about him.
Royal Rumble is Rikishi eliminating Too Cool from last year - no Luger and Bret for me. This year.
Perry Saturn (w/Terri and Tough Enough Hype) vs Chad Collier - Hey, last time we were in time, same match, and Collier looked good, but spelled his name differently. Lockup, waistlock, hammerlock by Saturn, reversed in own, Fireman's carry by Saturn in to an armbar, reversed into a fireman's carry by Collier, Saturn takes him down by the leg, arm bar, modified Northern Lights Suplex by Collier (grabbing the leg instead of really hooking the head) Saturn escapes, hammerlock, headlock, off the ropes, shoulderblock. Saturn stops to kiss Terri. Collier waits till he's ready. Lockup, headlock, off the ropes, shoulderblock for Saturn. Saturn to the second rope. Muscle pose. Terri does a muscle pose but they make something else look better. Oh well. Collier waits. Lockup, off the ropes, Saturn gets a drop toe hold and seems to hurt his nose. Big clothesline by Saturn. Saturn is groggy, shot in the turnbuckle, corner whip and Saturn falls down. Now it's Collier's turn to celebrate on the second rope. Saturn waits, clothesline misses, hiptoss blocked, Chad with two punches, whip, head down too soon, kick ,whipped, superkick. Terri distracts while Saturn gets the low blow knee. Cover, 2, kickout. Terri fixes her top. Reverse neckbreaker. Some rotated ad in another window I've got open starts playing music and scares the crap out of me. Saturn with a standing cobra clutch to give me some time. Thanks Perry! Let's look at Terri. Chad escapes, but gets an overhead belly to belly suplex. Saturn celebrates. Terri bounces, almost out. Kick to the back, Canadian Backbreaker pickup and run into the corner. Saturn looks at the crowd. Terri motions for them to be quiet. Snap mare. Chinlock. Chad elbows out, off the ropes, big knee from Saturn. Double underhook powerbomb. When talking about New Orleans, Michael Hayes gives props to the late Junkyard Dog. Corner whip, charge in meets elbow, than a boot. Stop doing that Saturn. Chad with a flapjack. Chad with a German suplex with a bridge but he doesn't get it good, 1.5 then readjusts for a full 2. Trying for another, Saturn escapes and swings around but gets the Northern Lights Suplex (hmm, this seems familiar), uno, dos, shoulder up. Whip, pick up by Saturn, Chad escapes the fireman's carry by falling behind, off the ropes, Saturn clothesline misses, Chad with a waistlock but he reverses it into a full nelson, now turning it back around and picking up Chad - Death Valley Driver. Is that all? That's all. (5:41) Terri skips.
Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho rivalry video package. (1:26)
We've got time to fill and we should've filmed an Essa Rios match but we didn't so you get this replay of the BIGGEST SIX MAN TAG IN THE HISTORY OF SMACKDOWN. (3:20)
One last run down of the matches, and we're out.The Cubs Fan
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