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WWF Jakked by The Cubs Fan




Hardcore Holy vs Mike Curtis - That name may be wrong. Headlock by Holly, off the ropes, shoulderblock. Off the ropes over the drop down under the lap frog quick turn around an atomic drop. Clothesline.  Push in the corner, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, boot choke. Corner whip, reversed, Holly with a boot up, throwing Curtis in the corner. Holly is slow to pick Powers up, whip, reversed into a short clothesline. Choke by Curtis. Shot the back. Shot the back. Shot the back. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Whip, reversed, Holly eliminates Mike something. Hardcore has chair. Ref Jimmy Korderas takes it away, and Mike sneaks in a clothesline. Whip, reversed, Mike into the steps. Hanging suplex on the floor. Curtis is rolled in, and then gets up and leans on the ropes facing the crowd. Hardcore grabs him by the legs, hanging  Curtis from the top rope - LOW BLOW. Korderas does not DQ Hardcore. Side backbreaker. 2 count. Forearm to the back, eye rake by Mike, punch, punch, whip, Holly stops short and hits a thrust kick to the head. Whip, dropkick. That's a gentle Hollycaust, but it's over. (3:58

Coming up, Chyna broke her neck - let's watch it again! Also, Saturn will be in action. But next, Steve Austin and Triple H don't like each other.

At Royal Rumble (stills) Steve Austin cost Triple H the title. In turn, Triple H tried to cost Steve Austin from winning the Rumble. Triple H didn't do as well a job. This takes us to a video package that recaps that title match once again, and into RAW. And then a video clip from Smackdown. (9:50, 5:18 of it on the unedited Smackdown clips.) On Monday, we'll have an exciting CONTRACT SIGNING! I'll leave you to make the (easy) jokes about past contract signings - at least this one didn't have a crow.

Coming up, the story of Steve Regal's Besmirching. Also, Taka is in action. But next, Saturn.

Mick Foley has a contest for YOU! Go to Approximant retail value is $3,900? Wow, I should've done three PPVs with Mick instead of going to school for a semester.

Perry Saturn (w/Terri) vs Chris Nelson - Nelson is fat. Ha ha. This odd: While Coach is doing the (local?) drop in to hype Enforcer tickets, the voices of Kevin Kelly and Tom Pritchard bleed in (from Metal?) You can't tell what anyone's saying, but it the Metal guys disappear right when the bell sounds. Hmm. Lockup, waistlock by Saturn, takes down Nelson and does push ups on his back. Okay. Kiss from Terri. Lockup, waistlock by Nelson hammerlock by Saturn, into hammerlock, off the ropes, shoulderblock. Saturn waits for Nelson to get up, headlock,  off the ropes, hiptoss blocked, Saturn's hiptoss blocked, Nelson with a knee, and turns it all around into a backslide for 2. Nelson's up first and hits a clothesline. Right, right into the corner, kick, kick, Saturn reverses position in the corner, three hard kicks to the gut.  Pull by the hair, Knee, knee, knee , and Nelson falls down in the ring.  Saturn picks him up, reverse neckbreaker. Saturn uses, um, we'll call that a modified cobra clutch. Nelson gets up , Saturn lets go - so he can hit an overhead belly to belly suplex. Nelson looks like he wants no more. Snap suplex. 2nd rope muscle pose. Terri with the muscle pose. Saturn with a - hangman neckbreaker on the floor. He lets go. Punch, Boot to the head knocks Nelson to the apron. Saturn to the outside, elbow. Snap mare, figure four sleeper. Saturn lets go, talks to Terri. Slap, slap, slap by Nelson, whip, spin kick if we're nice. Whip, reversed, Saturn with a clothesline. Canadian backbreaker run into the corner. Death Valley Driver signal. Death Valley Driver. That's good enough. (4:02) Saturn and Terri hug and celebrate and Devil horns and bow and all that.

Still to come, Essa Rios is in the house. But next, Chyna's neck is really broken.

Let's go back to the Royale Rumble (with clips!) as we're still not sure how Chyna hurt herself. (:46)

TAKA Michinoku (w/Funaki, the flags, and a microphone) vs Vito DeNucci - "Ha aha ha ha, look at you, you stand there you like have head in hands - but you should not feel cocky. You should be afraid, be very afraid, and prepare to die!" "inDEED" Okay. Lockup,  rake. Slap, slap, kick to the gut. Whip, clothesline misses, Vito with a hiptoss. TAKA rolls out of the ring and takes off, Vito in pursuit, Funaki with a flag shot that Vito didn't see coming. Stomp, stomp. Throw into the ring. Palm shot. Palm shot.  Pick up. Palm shot. Snap mare, kick to the back of the head. Dropkick to the head of DeNucci. Cover, 2. Pick up, palm shot. Palm shot and DeNucci is down to his knees. Whip, reversed,  sunset flip and Taka gets 2.  DeNucci up with a clothesline, but it misses and Taka hits a spin kick. Taka Celebrates. Cover, 2 count, shoulder up.  Camel clutch by Taka, shot to the head. Now he's pulling on the teeth!  now he lets him go. Turnbuckle shot. Kick to the gut, kick to the gut, kick to the gut. Shot the face. Shot to the face. Kick to the gut, kick to the gut, boot choke. Shot to the head. Snap mare, chin lock. Palm shot, snap mare, chop to the head. Signaling, and going up top, DeNucci getting to his feet and he dropkick Taka in the air. DeNucci with a slam, cover, 2.Corner whip, charge into a boot. Taka with a superkick. Michinoku Driver dance.  No he can't get him up. DeNucci with shots to the back - powerbomb. Cover, one, two, kickout. DeNucci off the ropes, no, Funaki grabs his legs, Vito turns around to look at him and turns right back into the Michinoku Driver. That's all he needs. (4:50)

Essa will be flying high later on, but next, how we got a new European Champion.

The Weirder Results Slam of the Week was Test winning the European title in no time. at all. I think it would have been better if he just did a kick and  a powerbomb to win, but still.

This leads us to clips from Smackdown where Test defends against Christian. The ring microphone is really turns up here - Christian is yelling so loud, he sounds like Albert. That's a big big boot. (3:44)

Essa Rios (w/tearaway pants) vs "Sometimes the Black Nature Boy" Scoot Andrews (w/black hair) - The Green and blue "No Destiny" tights look better, I hate to say. (Commenting on people's outfit choices while having no fashion sense of my own - that's the legacy RollerJam has left me.)  Headlock, off the ropes, no, Essa stops. and again. Scot tries for a back suplex but Essa lands on his feet and pushes Scoot in to the ropes, Scoot comes back with a shoulderblock, cover, 2 count. Scoot tries for a leg trip but Essa jumps, elbow, tries for snap mare but Essa lands on his feet, Essa off the ropes, Scoot leap frogs him, off the other set of ropes, caught in a spinebuster by Scoot but Essa causes him to fall backwards. Essa with mounted punches,, push in the corner, double chop,  taunt, double chop. Corner whip, charge, Scoot moves out of the way of the dropkick (I guess) as Essa hits the ropes with the back of his legs. Scoot picks him up, whip,  HIGH dropkick. Scoot Wooos. Shot to the corner. Chop. Elbow. corner whip, reversed, Scoot flips to the apron. Scoot points at his head, and is dropkicked to the floor.  He's the somersault plancha to Scoot. Coach mentions the "No Destiny" on Essa's tights on THIS show too - don't tease me with an Essa Rios angle unless you plan on delivering, please. Essa throw Scoot in, covers, 2 count. Right, whip, reversed, Essa tires a headscissors but he gets powerbombed. Cover, 2 count. Punch, and Essa falls all the way to the ropes. So Scoot chokes him there. Corner whip,  Scoot charges but Essa moves out of the way a. Essa with a falling vertical suplex. (A suplex from Essa?) 2 count. Whip, reversed, Essa goes high in the air on the backdrop. Scoot with the blockbuster suplex, and picking Essa by the hair, whip, Essa with the Tajiri flip into the ropes and the back flip over Scoot, before hitting a spin kick. Essa up with punches, corner whip, reversed, Scoot charges in but Essa moves out of the way and hits a powerslam. Signaling, going up top, moonsault. (4:42)

Tomorrow night on HEAT, the Dudley Boyz are in action, defending the tag team titles. (Ad for the Billy Gunn match on Metal but not here?) On Raw, a contract signing.

The Cubs Fan
DDT Digest

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