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WWF Jakked by The Cubs Fan




Bull Buchanan and the Goodfather vs Kai En Tai - Michael Hayes sounds like Michael Cole this week - this is getting rather confusing. Oh, here's TAKA and Funaki to help: "You, Right To Censor, so you say you fight the good fight. But what will you do when you are fighting [karate noises here - TAKA's doesn't realize that he's supposed to stop talking and start air karating for a bit]" "inDEED" Oh, wait, Bull has something to say. "Please do not hurt us! We are scared of your evil ways and we are not prepared to die!" "Yo man, light a fatty, indeed!" RTC seem as confused as you might be (the mysterious voices replacing theirs as well), but decide just to punk out Kai En Tai and ask questions later. Whip, big boot for TAKA, and everyone's out of the ring. TAKA on the apron and Goodfather has him in a sleeper - Funaki distracts and TAKA gets a stun gun jaw breaker in. Tag to Funaki, dropkick to the back of the knee, in a chinlock - TAKA dropkick to the face. Funaki wets his palms - slam is not going to happen. Right from Goodfather. Tag to Bull. Double whip, double shoulderblock. Right from Bull. Big side backbreaker.  Tag to Goodfather - hold for a right. Hiptoss. The great thing about this match is that there are 10 second pauses between moves. Boot choke. Rope choke. Tag to Bull, right to side. Turnbuckle shot. Right. Right.  Corner whip, follow in misses, Funaki rolls out of the way - hot tag to TAKA. Palm shot, palm shot, palm shot, celebration, down by a clothesline. Funaki in with aright, Goodfather in, this isn't' looking good for our heroes. Double corner whip, one for Taka - double RTC train, yes. Scissors kick on Taka, and Bull covers for the pin. (3:29) That wasn't that fun.

Vince visited the hospital, Crash and Molly visit this show, but next, Triple H and Austin have words for each other.

There was that weird singles match on Raw, so let's watch it. And then, on Smackdown, Triple H set up the stipulations. Then He wasn't all that helpful in Chris Benoit's match with Steve Austin. Later, he fought the Rock. (9:23) This will lead to a match at No Way Out. Triple H has a background in street fighting? Also, Rock/Angle. 

K-Kwik is getting Rowdy, Steph has something to say, but Crash and Molly are next.

Crash (w/Molly Holly) vs Loki (already in the ring) - Lockup, armbar, twist by Crash, into a headlock, take down. reverses into a leg scissors up the feet, waistlock, reversed, reversed, headlock, into the corner and break. Knee by Loki, corner whip, charge in, Crash moves out of the way, drop toe hold. Headlock by Crash, take down, toll for a pin, for 2. Headlock, weird submission hold - reverse camel clutch? It's turned over for a pin for 2, reverse to another pin for 2, bridged up into a backslide by Loki, no Crash flips over, kick to the gut, neckbreaker for 2. This is what you'd call counter wrestling, I think. Headlock, push into the corner. Clean break by Loki, no, right, right, reversed, kicks and punches by Crash, corner whip, reversed,  boot by Loki. Clothesline misses, sharp kick by Loki doesn't. Whip, reversed, charge - handspring jumping zero kick. Celebration, cover for 2.  Right, whip, slide under by Crash and another weird pin for 2. Snap mare into a chin lock. Jawbreaker by Crash. Clothesline by Loki misses, 3 rights from Crash, whip, back elbow. Clothesline. And another. Crash charges at Loki - drop toe hold into the second rope - Tornado DDT, no, counted into an atomic drop - acid drop by Crash, is that it?  Yes. (3:20) Whoa.

Albert will be in the house later on, but next, Vince makes money off his children.

Let's replay the Vince/Linda skit form Smackdown. Then we follow up the skit in the ring and in the parking lot. (5:40) Trish vs Steph at No Way Out.

Still to come, Albert. Next, K-Kwik

Weider Results of the week is the double team beat down on Big Show from RAW

K-Kwik vs Inferno Kid (already in the ring) - I think he's on to the CD version now - this isn't the same one he wanted to sing in previous weeks. These camera tricks are getting annoying. Lockup, m armbar by Kid, twist, takedown, flip up, reversal, headlock by Kwik, off the ropes, duck the clothesline whip  - rana is reversed into a sharp powerbomb. Inferno's head hurts, that was so hard. Stomp, stomp. Right, right by Kwik, right by Kwik, right by Kid. Whip, dropkick. Cover, 2, shoulder up. Cover again, 2. Hook the leg, dude. Surfboard, despite not being a member of the Bach Patrol.  Kwik turns it around - backslide for 2. Off the ropes, under the clothesline, into a powerslam for 2. Right, boot choke. Another. Kwik flips to the top rope, long missile dropkick. Both men down. Cole likes making Inferno Kid puns.  Duck of the right from Kid, right, right, right, dancing spinning right. Whip, clothesline missed, flying forearm doesn't. Kwik yells - picking up Kid, whip, reversed, headscissors takedown. Flip up by kick, splits for no real reason and a kick to the stomach. Corner whip, reversed, kip up, flip for nor reason, splits to duck the clothesline and a side kick, one, two, kickout. Whip, reversed into a Falcon Arrow, and that's it. (4:14) Apparently, it's the side kick that's called the Hat Rack Cracked. Let us proceed to be in a state of rowdy.

The ATT Collect Slap of the week was from Lita to Dean.

Albert vs Mike Bell (already in the ring) - Kick, thrown down by the head. Twist by the arm, right, ducked, the next isn't. Bell is eliminated from the Royal Rumble. Bell is on the apron - stun gun. Off the ropes, clothesline, no sell, off the ropes, ducks the clothesline, not the scissors kick. Weird choke on the ropes, but it's still a choke on the ropes. Right. Sling shot into the second rope. It's hazing the Coach week. Big headbutt. Double underhook hanging suplex, cover, 2, pulling him up. Coach calls him Alberte Belle by accident. Right, right, stomp. Body slam. Off the ropes, elbow drop.  Charge into the corner, misses. Right, right, right, right, by Bell, whip, reverse, Albert's head down too son, kick, foot caught, the enzuiguri is not.  Bell with punches, pushed away. Bell back up with punches, corner whip, reversed. aaaaaaaaalbert splash. Double choke - I guess we're calling it the Baldo bomb now. (3:33)

Tomorrow night, Christian vs Undertaker on Heat. Also, Kurt Angle will be on that show, as well as Hardcore Holly vs Haku, plus Perry and Terri as guest hosts.

The Cubs Fan
DDT Digest

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