You are here

WWF Jakked by The Cubs Fan




Intros, which I should point out a little more consistently but probably won't.

this is a European Champion vs Essa Rios has No Destiny (redish-purple & black) - It's quite obvious why Essa gets the second entrance. Michael Hayes sounds a lot like - Michael Hayes this week! Coach may pretend not to miss him but I did. Hayes makes fun of Coach for Cole making him look stupid last week. Lockup,, Test throws him in the corner, right, right, right, putting Essa on the top rope and superhiptossing him 3/4ths of the way of the ring. Whip, back elbow. Another whip,  Essa holds on the ropes and goes to the apron - oh, no Test has him by the hair, back elbow, hot shot. Essa's a heel this week, I think. He's back in the ring, right, right, whip, reversed into a high knee - pumphandle no Essa elbows out, right right, whip, reversed, rolling under the clothesline, dropkick to the knee. Kick to the left knee, grabbing Test's left leg and elbowing the knee. Hey, if Test is supposed to be Diesel, and I'm occasionally deluded enough to think Essa could be HBK, shouldn't these guys be friends? No? Okay.  Kick to that knee, grabbing the leg, setting it on the ropes, an ax-handle to the knee. Essa to the top - cross body is caught, over the shoulder into a powerslam. Test is limping, corner whip, Essa with the moonsault escape, ducks Test's clothesline dropkick to the left knee. Right to the head, right, 'rana is turned into a big powerbomb. Test is limping, but picking Essa up by the hair. Whip, head down too soon, Essa with a kick to face, off the ropes - tilt-a-whirl slam, cover for 2.3. Picking Essa up, corner whip, moonsault escape again but Test nails him with a kick to the head. Test picks him up, 'cause he's not down - pumphandle slam, for 2. (3:16 - that's the closest he's coming to this show

Your announcers are Michael Hayes and Jonathon Coachman - Hayes says' there's No Way Out of Triple H and Steve Austin being seriously injured in their match this Sunday.

Coming up, Kurt and Rock have issues, Steph and Trish have issues, but next, Triple H and Austin have issues.

Let's go back to see how long Triple H and Austin have had this problem - a car accident at Survivor Series '99, a different kinda of car accident at Survivor Series '00, Triple H costing Austin the title, Austin costing Triple H the title, Austin winning the Rumble, a contract signing, the near misses of physical confrontation, Triple H's pre-signing beat down, Triple H stunning Steph, then Triple H retaliating by giving the Pedigree to JR. Totally awesome package that people are gonna rave about Sunday, dude, and it was only (3:03) - goes to show that with some actual editing, you can get the story over a lot quicker and a lot better, leaving time for other stuff. Coach and Hayes go over the three falls once again, and it's coming at you this Sunday, only on Pay Per View

Still to come, Perry Saturn is in the house, plus Trish and Steph have issues, but next, Kai En Tai is in action, indeed.

Kai En Tai vs Two Guys Whose Names Are Not Important (already in the ring) - "Hey, stuipd! ahahahahaha ahahahahhahaha ahahahhahahahahaha (TAKA stops laughing at points but the voice doesn't) you look - prepare young men to meet your demise. Prepare young men to receive the beating of your life, prepare young men to DIE! For we are Kai En Tai and we are eeeeeeeevil!" "inDEED!" Multiple "Indeed" signs this week. Play their music again as they walk to the ring. Apparently, the guys in the ring have no names, so it'll be Lavender Colored Tights taking on Funaki to start. Lockup, headlock by LCT, into a hammerlock,  reversed by Funaki, LCT with back elbows to escape, off the ropes, Funaki tries a monkey flip but LCT stops short and picks him up, whip, dropkick, and a clothesline when Funaki gets up. Funaki is not pleased and kicks the bottom rope. Lockup, no kick to the leg by Funaki, right to the head, tag to TAKA and TAKA runs into to get a hiptossed. Armbar, tag to Red Tights With Flames - double axhandle off the second rope. Armbar by RTWF, TAKA forearms out, corner whip, reversed, Taka rebounds out into a back body drop, cover for two. Armbar again, tag to LCT, double whip, double hiptoss, double elbow drop. LCT covers for 2. Armbar, tag to RTWF, who gets in a right to the chest. Armbar, TAKA out with rights, whip, kick to the back from Funaki on the outside and a spin kick from TAKA. Tag to Funaki, whip, drop toe hold, camel clutch, dropkick to the face. Let's jump up and down! Funaki grabs RTWF's arm and reaches towards the corner for the tag - no, not close enough. Right, right, whip, reversed, head down too soon, Funaki whips RTWF into the corner and he rebounds out in to a bulldog. I think, for a second, Funaki thinks about doing the Worm but then just tags to TAKA. Taka picks him up - palm shot, blowing on the fingers. Another one. Martial Arts motions and one.  Snap mare, hard kick to the back and another. Picking him up, whip, sunset flip, 2 count. Jumping dropkick by Taka takes him back down. Tag to Funaki, kick in the corner, whip, RTWF reverses, 'rana, no reversed into a powerbomb. I guess that wasn't a tag to Funaki. Hayes finnaly gives names to the guys: Matt Murphy and Steve Fender. Race for tag, now Funaki in, now LCT (he's Murphy) and he get a clothesline, clothesline for TAKA, slam for Funaki, slam for TAKA, Funaki whipped into the corner, Taka whipped into the corner, no reversed into the other corner, jumping back elbow into the corner by Funaki, superkick by Taka for Fender, Michinoku Driver for Murphy, cover, three (4:49) TAKA wasn't he legal person but let's look at the INDEED sign.

K-Kwik will move some things later on, Kurt Angle and Rock have issues, but next, Trish and Steph have issues.  

Weider Results Takedown of Two Weeks Ago has to do with Steph and Trish. "It's all because of her mother, King!

Again we try to get over that Steph doesn't like what's happened to her mother and blames Trish about it, even though Trish has little to do to it and Steph is shown later in the same segment talking about how she's happy Linda is out of it. Steph, from RAW, gets over the actual idea: Steph doesn't like another women trying to step up on her role as the top woman in the WWF. This package is not edited near as well but is short (3:45) so okay. They have a match. Also, there is this two out of three match. In case you haven't been listening the last three times, here's what the three falls will be.

Coming up, K-Kwik will kick it up a notch, Saturn will be here, but next, Kurt Angle and the Rock have issues.

Kurt Angle keeps on keeping on. Hey, who pinned Kurt for the first time? If they can show the car accident again, they could remember that. Hey, a clip of the Rock holding the title at WM - he'd be happy to do it again in the main event. Hey, there's the interview from Heat - I knew I watched that for a reason. re Kurt's days as champion over? You can't stop, can't stop the Rock. (2:18) and two out of three packages are watchable this week. On the other hand, we'll again explain that two out of three falls match.

Perry Saturn (w/Terri) vs James Grizzle - "Terri" chant at ringside. Lockup,  armbar by Grizzle, into a headlock, into a hammerlock, back elbow, back elbow to escape, kick to the stomach, corner whip, forearm in the corner, right, chop, right, chop, right, knee, knee, knee, knee, knee, whip, knee from Grizzle and a clothesline. Hayes makes a good story point: Jericho insulted Vince's decision making ability on RAW, then got that tag match on Smackdown which he was sure to get punked out on and the four way on the PPV, and maybe that's all not a coincidence.  Pick up, gutwrench suplex, two. Whip, reversed, ducks the clothesline, waistlock, Saturn goes the ropes, Grizzle lets go, but chases after Saturn, and gets batted through the ropes. Saturn to the outside - stun gun on the apron. Whip into the stairs. Saturn throws in Grizzle and going to the top - flying forearm. Hayes gives the parental warning as far as Kat goes. Brainbuster. Saturn crawls over for a kiss from Terri. Weird neck submission, Grizzle back elbows out, off the ropes, Saturn knocks him down with a running forearm. Saturn uses a new move - it starts out like a fisherman's suplex, but instead of pulling Grizzle up and over, it's more of a swinging neckbreaker motion into the normal ending position. Grizzle's feet are in the ropes, which is the only thing stopping it  from being three. Hayes calls Val's move the Money Shot, hmm. Back suplex. Grizzle gets up himself and tries to fight with rights, but Saturn stops him with a knee - no, jawbreaker from Grizzle and then a flapjack. Double under hook suplex, and he's going up. Grizzle coming off the top rope with a flying - we'll call that a shoulderblock. 2.5 count. Whip, no reversed straight into a overhead belly to belly suplex. Big clothesline.  "The moss covered three handed family grudunza" (not called) for three (5:00)

Greyhound's Overstunner of the Week features Steve and Steph, yep.

K-Kwik (w/WWF Music) vs Some Guy - It's funny to hear the rap going on after K-Kwik's put down the microphone. Headlock, off the ropes, shoulderblock. Off the ropes, leapfrog, armdrag, armdrag, armdrag. Kwik dropkicks that guy out of the ring. Kwik looks at him, running no hands (kinda) plancha to the outside. Oh, it's Derrick Stone. Throwing  Stone back in, following him back in - Stone's climbing to the top - no, now he's taking a face first bump. Cover, 2 count. Armdrag, and an armbar. Up and an eye poke escape. Corner whip, corner clothesline. Choke hold. Kwik does flip up as Stone gets down in the ring - dropkick to the back. Stone was mocking Kwik, I guess. Kwik with rights, and here's a dancing right. Whip, back drop. Whip, flying forearm, cover for 2. Picking him up, corner whip, reversed, Kwik kip up and flips to an escape, splits to duck the clothesline and Stone gets his Hat Rack Cracked. Kickout at 2. Whip, reversed, Kwik goes behind, kick to the stomach, Falcon Arrow. (3:32) This week, the Falcon Arrow (not the side kick) is the Hat Rack Cracked. Whatever.

Heat is tomorrow - and features Matt Hardy vs Rikishi. Also, No Way Out. There's a tag titles table triple threat match. The Rock vs Kurt Angle, as well. Trish vs Steph. And Triple H vs Stone Cold

The Cubs Fan
DDT Digest

Email the Author
Visit DDT Digest - home of the swingin'est Worldwide recaps around

Comment about this article on the EZBoard



Design copyright © 1999-2001 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
Guest column text copyright © 2001 by the individual author and used with permission