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WWF Jakked by The Cubs Fan




wwf world leader. intro.

Grandmaster Sexay (w/WWF the Music Volume 5) vs Essa Rios (papi chulo pull off pants, green and black No Destiny and your announcers are Michael Hayes and Jonathon Coachman) -   Sexay holds up the glasses - is he going to give them to Essa? No, Essa's gonna take them - AND RIP THEM APART! Ooooh, that's EVIL. Essa runs out of the ring, Sexay chases him, Essa in first with forearms Whip, clothesline. Whip, no Sexay with a series of punches is whip, reversed, Sexay slides under, kick is caught, enziguri is not. Slingshot to the floor! Essa recovers with two rights, but misses on the third - belly to back pickup, and Essa gets run groin first into the ring post. Hayes thanks that should be a DQ. Everyone back in - Sexay charges in the corner, but Essa moves and Sexay lands crotch first in the corner. They're both holding their injured parts. Whip, head down too soon by Essa, so he gets a kick, Seaxy off the ropes, 'raan reversed into a powerbomb. Whip, flapjack.  Push in the corner, Sexay backs up and charges - shoulder first into the corner.  Essa goes to the op - moonsault over shoots even if Sexay didn't move out of the way. Essa falls right in position, Sexay goes up and gets the goggles (how are they always there when he needs them?) and there's the Hip Hop Drop. Night. (2:42) That was much quicker than it needed to be.

Still to come, Trish and Vince were up to stuff this week, and Kai en Tai is near by, but first, the Rock and Austin have issues.

My Way Video Package, Version 3. Wait a minute, is the song supposed to be about Austin and Debra? I guess it's coincidental, but if you listen to the verse...hmmm.

Someone worked hard on this video package to explain the whole Angle/Rock/Austin stuff from RAW and doesn't deserve this one line sentence about it, but that's what they're getting it because this is the third time I've seen it today. Hey, but I do like when they edit and produce them and this one of there best ones. And then they get lazy and don't edit the Smackdown stuff and I go watch something else. You know who's not a good live group is Crazy Town, at least not on SnowJob. Treble Charger is much better. Shaggy was pretty funny thinking that anyone wanted to hear more out of him then his hits. Trish Stratus is a hot chick, don't get me wrong, but when she's in normal clothes, it's weird to see how certain aspects look normal-er (saying it another way: seeing her without the push up bra is weird and kinda makes you wonder why they feel she needs to wear it.) And I never noticed Melissa Joan Hart's forehead before. But then I don't see her that much. How come I think it'd be cool to hang out with a MuchMusic VJ for a day, but I only wish physical harm on the MTV ones? Man, this goes on and on and I take back the good things I said before. I think it's that I just hate MTV. Oh, it's finnaly over. (13:25) The Rock will indeed face Steve Austin at WM

Coming up, Crash and Molly will be here, and Shane has issues - but next, Kai En Tai are evil.

Lugz Triple H motorcycle drop of the week onto Undertaker's leg.

Kai En Tai (w/Flags) vs Frank Gizara/Kejia Shihoda (w/o graphic but badly spelled names) - "Look at you - this week, you're trying to make a name for yourself against Kai En Tai - ha, I say! We have a name for you - it is losers! For we are eeeeeeeeeeeevil! hahahaha ahahahaha hahahahaha." "inDEED" Coach (and Kelly on Metal) make 'it must take a lot of words in their language to say what they say in English", which makes absolutely no sense unless we got a universal translator installed and no one told me about it. Enforcer Have A Game Tomorrow Hype Here - other people got the "bug people to pay attention to the XFL" bit here, I've been told. Frank and Funaki lockup, mat reversals gets us to Frank off the ropes and knocking down Funaki with a springboard back elbow. Frank goes for a whip, Funaki with the blind tag to TAKA, TAKA comes in but Funaki ends up running right into him when Frank drops down. Funaki gets dropkicked and rolled out, so Frank goes to the apron and slingshots Taka in. Tag to Keija, kick to the stomach, kick, kick, whip, clothesline misses, push down (maybe a double chop) works, gets 2. Whip, reversed, into Funaki's knee, Keija turns around to him him but gets a palm shot from TAKA. Tag. Whip, drop toe hold, came clutch, dropkick to the face. CELEBRATE! Taka crawls out of the ring for no particular reason but be cool. Whip, reversed, double clothesline, everyone down. Time for the hot tag - T      AKA and then Frank, clothesline, clothesline, armdrag, Funaki with a kick turnbuckle smash, double whip, Funaki gets in and misses, but Taka gets a palm shot. Michinoku Driver signal, TAKA goes for it but Keija pushes him in the back. Funaki charges at Keija but Keija ducks the clothesline. Keija charges at Funaki, but Funaki drops him to the floor. Meanwhile, Michinoku Driver on Frank, Arrogant cover and TAKA's the only person who can win doing that. (2:40) Hey, TAKA spoke without using the microphone! They go back and get the flags.

Eddie and Benoit finnaly had it this week, but we'll look at Vince next.

Vince and Shane and Raw and Smackdown. Here's the subtle difference between Metal and Jakked - this whole Trish/Vince stuff was only briefly shown, in one of those "X of the weeks", and only showing Shane coming back to kill Vince. Though the announcers mentioned it, no clips were shown on Metal (we got a Triple H/Undertaker clip set instead), but here on Jakked get the video package. The only difference between the stuff shown on the English and Spanish versions of Metal was that they showed almost the entire Christian/D-Von match from RAW on Telemundo, instead of the clipped version on the English version, as they need to make up the time for My Way not being included. I really should've done more than sit around and watch TV all day, but there you go. Anyway, I guess a good question is why they decided to have the Benoit/Guerrero stuff here, and the D-Von/Christian stuff on Metal - I can't see that match being aimed at a older audience. Maybe they think people watch both shows? (5:05

Still to come, the Radicals are breaking up (and it's hard to do) but next, Crash is in action.

Classic WM moment: Undertaker beats Jimmy Snuka. This was Bret Hart's win over Roddy Piper on Metal. 

Crash vs Scoot Andrews - Lockup, waistlock, reversed by Scoot, reverse into a hammerlock, Scoot reverses it, into a headlock, Crash with hammerlock into a takedown into a headlock, Scoot into a hammerlock, back no feet, Crash into a headlock, off the ropes, shoulderblock. Off the ropes, Crash is over, under, then turns around to do a double leg trip, then a headlock takeover, getting one count. Leg scissors escape by Scoot, both up, another headlock take down by Crash, and gets a one. Into the ropes, break, Scoot with a right, elbow, whip, , back elbow misses, Crash's flying headscissors gets reversed into a face first power bomb and Molly is concerned. Scoot celebrates, then chokes. Blockbuster suplex facing Molly, and then Scoot has words for her - rollup by Crash for 2. Scoot with a clothesline. Shot to the back. Stomp. Legdrop. Bodyslam. Going up - super legdrop comes up empty. Right blocked, Crash's hits. Repeat. Right, right, whip, back elbow, Scoot gets up but goes back down to a clothesline. Off the ropes, under the clothesline, diving shoulderblock. Crash is pumped and charges at Scoot in the corner, but Scoot drop toe holds him into the second turnbuckle. Corner whip, reversed and held on, Acid Drop by Crash and that's it. (3:13) Scott goes one on on with Dean Malenko for the LH title on Heat.

Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero have issues: to make sure Smackdown didn't get repeated, Benoit first took out Saturn and Dean Malenko, and then settled in for the big match. The background sound comes in and out throughout here, very annoying. Not as annoying as the extension cable for my headphones malfunctioning so that only one ear gets sound, but plenty annoying in itself. (3:18)

Heat: Special Guest Hosts are Kai En Tai! Chris Benoit vs Haku - it's live tomorrow night. See you next week.

The Cubs Fan
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