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WWF Jakked by The Cubs Fan





Jacqueline (w/Divas Magazine, PMS' music) vs Molly Holly - Why does Jackie wear her knee pads on her shins? PLEASE WATCH HEAT message - I guess making the show every so slightly meaningful gets ignored when the stupidity of the skits gets increased. "Tough Enough" is mentioned; I guess seeing Jackie means the taping is over for that? Circle. Lockup, Molly with a waistlock, takedown, armbar into a hammerlock by Jackie. Molly rolls into a reversal and then a inside cradle for one two. Jackie charges with a clothesline, Molly ducks, kick, corner whip. Charge in but Molly meets Jackie's elbow, then gets clotheslined. Jackie almost fell out of her top there. Stall, right to the head. right. Kick. Kick. Tossed by the hair. I guess Jackie's a heel here. Whip, reversed, bodyscissors into a bulldog by Jackie! Haven't seen her do that before. Jackie is surprised and walks backwards. Pick up, side slam. Jackie to the second rope - elbow drop come sup empty, Molly misses. Chop by Molly, and another. Whip, backdrop. Molly's holding her head - Northern Lights Suplex one two. That move may never work but it's always cool. Chop, whip, back elbow misses, Jackie hits the floatover DDT cover one two three (2:29) I thought that was her finisher last time we saw her, but I wasn't sure. Your announcers are Michael Hayes and Jonathon Coachman and they'd like to talk about the Two Man Power Trip.

Still to come, Gold Medallist Chris Benoit (in clips), Light Heavyweight Champion Jerry Lynn (in action) and the Two Man Power Trip (in trouble.)

From Raw, Undertaker vs Austin was set up. That didn't work out too well. So it'll happen again at Backlash. This violence is too harsh to be shown in color or without dramatic pauses. Then, on Smackdown, Undertaker got some revenge. Rikishi makes a cameo here. (8:25 - 2:00 in the RAW edited package)

the bizarre Al Snow returns to take on Essa Rios, Kurt Angle takes down Chris Benoit and next, Jerry Lynn takes up a challenge to his belt.

RC Light Heavyweight Title Change Of Last Sunday

Jerry Lynn (w/pre-recorded comments earlier today!) vs Kevin Kruger (already in the ring - 1 for 1) for the Light Heavyweight Title - Holy crap, someone has something to say (besides TAKA and Funaki.) "You know, when I got this opportunity to be in the World Wrestling Federation, I made a promise to myself that I was going to make an impact. Well, last week on Heat, I did just that, by capturing the Light Heavyweight Championship. And I'm going take this belt to new levels. And if you don't believe me, just watch me!" You think when he says "new levels" he means "I'm jobbing this to Chyna"? That would be a new level. Having matches on Jakked is not a new level. Also, he needs to lay off the caffeine or whatever it was that he couldn't stand still for a 15 second bit. And just because we can (Kruger's announced at 218 pounds), here's a title match for you. Circle. Lockup, hammerlock, reversed by Kevin, takedown by Lynn into a headlock reverse into an armbar, back to their feet,  fireman's carry takedown by Jerry Lynn. Break, circle. Lockup, armbar, twist, reverses, armdrag by Kruger. Kruger did good (he's got ugly looking tights) and Jerry Lynn mouths "nice job" before offering a handshake. The handshake is accepted - and no clothesline! Wow. Circle, lockup, push in the corner, break, no Lyn's gonna kick him, kick, open hand slap, slap, corner whip, clothesline. Side backbreaker, cover one. Push in the corner. Right, corner whip, charge, Lynn's flipped to the apron, his punch is blocked, Kruger's connects, Kruger tries a shoulder to the gut through the ropes but Lynn jumps over it and comes down with a legdrop on Kruger's hand, while sandwiched in the ropes. Stomp. Kick to the back. Pick up, right, walk to the ropes, whip, reversed, Kruger goes for a slam but Lynn falls behind right into position for an inverted DDT and it connects, cover one two kickout. Lynn argues the count - inside cradle, one two kickout. Stomp. Wacky submission hold time - we'll call it a crossface inverted Indian Deathlock but you can just think of it as a modified STF. Lynn let's go, stomp. Slam. He's going up - second rope, flying legdrop connects, cover one two kickout. Double leg takedown right into a single leg crab - Hayes calls a tap out up but Kevin get to the ropes. Stomp. Whip, reversed, Kevin goes for a Northern Lights Suplex but Lynn reverses it into a giant spin DDT - that seems familiar. At any rate, one two three. (3:54) Hayes points out what a great move the DDT is tonight - but then remembers it's always been a great move when he made it famous.

Dean Malenko and Perry Saturn will wrestle and Terri will stand on the outside and do little later, but when they return, where are Kurt's medals?

Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle. Hmm, 3 months, (3:00).

Still to come, the Rock's motion picture debut, but on the way, Essa Rios will fly into action. 

Lugz we won't really show you Shane's dive this time either from last Sunday.

Essa Rios (w/leopard tear a way pants, white tights and Jeff Hardy's arm wraps) vs Al Snow (w/Head and Tough Enough shirt) - Talk about Shane segues into another Heat plug - you'd think they'd mention that Al got Head (back) on Heat (before he took off for Tough Enough) but I don't think they watch the show either. Anyway, we get a special look back at the most powerful couple in Sports Entertainment History. I think that translates into "Extra Large Video Package" which will surely do wonders for improving that rating. Actually, if I wanted to prove my drawing power, it'd be a smooth idea to go on a show that's rating is certainly going to improve at least 50% (because non-PPV weeks always do a lot better than PPV weeks) to make myself look better. Circle - Essa starts to reach for Head but Al's not having any of that. Lockup, waistlock, takedown by Al, hammerlock by Essa, reversed ("We Want Head!"), al gets punches to the kidney in, whip, clothesline misses, Essa tries a Thesz Press (!) but Al catches him in a bear hug, then finishes off the over head belly to belly suplex. Stomp, stomp. Whip, clothesline misses again, Essa tries to slide under but he's stopped - shot to the back, waistlock, release German suplex but Essa lands on his feet, kick is caught and Al sweeps the legs. Essa kicks Al away when he comes close, kip up, arm bar and a kick to the midsection, another, Mexican armdrag that lands Al all the way out of the ring. Dropkick and Al's out of the ring. Essa goes to the top rope - Al moves out of the plancha, and Essa hits the barrier face first. OW. Thrown in. Al with a slingshot legdrop, cover one two. Al goes for Head very slow, then changes his mind. Right, right, turnbuckle shot, corner whip, charge in, Snow meets boot. Corner whip by Essa, and Al is dropkicked into the corner. Right, right, corner whip, reversed into a pumphandle back suplex but Essa lands on his feet again, victory roll (Essa having trouble getting his legs in the right place), Al spins Essa around for a powerbomb but someone loses his grip and Essa very nearly gets dropped on his head. Just an extra stiff powerbomb there, one two. Whip, clothesline misses (again), flying headscissors by Essa. Kick (that doesn't really hit), whip, backdrop. Push in the corner, right, right, right, climbing the ropes - now Essa's standing on Al's shoulder's for no reason except he can (Hayes: "What the hell!") - drop down into a 'rana. Al gets dropkicked out the ring. Hayes questions the reasoning behind that stunt before the 'rana - what's the upside? Speaking of moves that are loaded with risk, corkscrew plancha over the corner (with rope assist.) Essa picks up Al and throws him back in. Going to the rope rope - missile dropkick. Essa is very slow to cover one two shoulder up. Essa looks annoyed. Right, corner whip, Al Slides short, Essa' clothesline misses - release Northern Lights Suplex by Al, cover one two kickout. Al points at Head - is he going to use it. Jim Korderas doesn't like that idea, so Al kicks Essa instead - Snow Plow one two three. (6:00) Al shows off Head. Those two weren't in sync, but still, plenty of fun

The Rock went to his movie premiere, which is nice for him but boring for me by the third time. (1:13)

Dean Malenko & Nice Hat, Jacket and Boa Perry Saturn (w/Terri and tweaked Radicalz music) vs Race Steele and Steve Boz (already in the ring - 1 for 2) - The announcers predict a big opening weekend for the Mummy and wonder if Stallone is still doing movies. Steve Boz is no longer your WCPW Battle Royale Champion - if they air a new episode this week and I actually catch it, I'll explain how that happened. This is the third straight week Steele has been on Jakked, I wonder if there's a story to that. Steele and Malenko start, lockup  into headlock by Dean, push into the ropes and back with a shoulderblock. Armbar by Dean, headlock reversal by Steele, push into the ropes and Steele with the shoulderblock this time. Off the ropes, drop toe hold by Dean, headlock reverse into a hammerlock, reverse into a fireman's carry, kip up by Steele, eh reverse the armbar, Dean pushes him away, Steele kips up. In a strange bout of deja vu, Dean says "Good job" and asks for the handshake - and clotheslines him! Dean and Jerry rule if they planned that - that rules even if they didn't. Shot for Boz on the apron. Tag to Saturn, but he runs right into a powerlsam, cover one two. Armbar by Steele, shoulder, shoulder, tag to Boz, Boz hits the axhandle to the arm. Armbar, kick to the back, kick to the back, Saturn reverse into a whip, hiptoss by Boz. Boz with a series of stiff kicks to the leg, but a jumping one is ducked and Saturn clotheslines him. Shot for Steele. Whip, Saturn gets his head down too soon, kick, corner whip, springboard dropkick. Boz signals for something, goes for a 'rana and gets powerbombed. Hayes out what a stupid idea that signal was. Saturn with a suplex on to the top rope, then a elbow smash to knock him to the floor. Dean distracts the ref as Saturn can get a chair - oops, Dean didn't do a good enough job because Korderas grabs the chair. Terri and Korderas have a conversion while Saturn introduces Boz to the steel steps. Everyone back in, tag to Dean. Camel clutch by Dean, kick by Dean.  Turnbuckle shot, corner whip, follow in clothesline. Corner whip, Dean picks him up on the rebound and sets him up on the top rope, right, right - suplex is blocked,  and Boz pushes him down. Missile dropkick. I sure hope Terri's wearing pasties with her shirt that open. Hayes thinks that a Malenko/Lynn match would be great. Tag to Steele, right for Dean, right, right. Whip, reversed, Dean's clothesline misses, jumping high kick by Steele connects, cover one two. Saturn in and Steel clothesline him, and then Dean and then Saturn superkicks him to stop that. Boz in and his clothesline misses - kick, release three handled moss covered family credenza (Coach says). Meanwhile, whip by Dean on Steele, sunset flip but Dean rolls through - Texas Clover leaf - and a quick tap. (4:38) Hayes is talking about the Lynn/Malenko match up again. Then they start talking about Eddie's actions on Smackdown.

Good lord I never really wanted to hear Marilyn Manson in the first place but I know I never EVER want to hear this song again. (1:02) Tomorrow night, Triple H and Steph guest host Heat. A special look back! Apparently no intresting matches. See you next week.

The Cubs Fan
[slash] wrestling

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