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WWF Jakked by The Cubs Fan




Intro, which has been changed up, but I only get to see the last two thirds of it, so we'll wait to later to outline it.

Raven (w/WWF the Music Volume 4 and Foley is Good is #1 on the NYTimes Best Seller's List) vs Tony Jones (already in the ring) - Your announcers are Michael Hayes and Jonathon Coachman. Has Tony been working on his upper body? I think it's a new outfit, but the same style. Hayes deftly combines insults in the arena bit and voice over stuff. Lockup, Raven pushed in the corner, Break, rinse, repeat. Tony tries a punch this time but Raven ducks, hits one of his own, then drop toe holds the charging Jones. Right, right, right, right, right no Raven's pulled away from Jones in the corner. Hayes and Coach are pumped to be going to Miami, for Sgt. Slaughter's golf tournament. Jones out with a knee, whip, head down too soon, Raven with a kick and a running clothesline takes them both out. Jones gets thrown in to the barricade. Russian leg sweep in to barricade. Talking about the Hardyz in the golf tournament leads to TLC talk. Raven throws in Jones, goes to get himself, awkwardly between the bottom and middle ropes, looks at Jones, and then Jones is finnaly off the ropes with the sandwich guillotine legdrop. Whip, clothesline, cover one two. Right, right, corner whip, charge in, Raven moves out of the way and Jones runs his shoulder into the second turnbuckle. Right, right, right, right, corner whip, Jones is slow to rebound out of the corner so Raven can hit a clothesline. On to Triple H talk. Mr. Wrestling #1 Knee Lift, Bronco Billie Special by Raven, cover one two.  Jones with a eye poke, swinging neckbreaker.  Whip, reversed into a kick, DDT - Hayes called it the Evenflow, whoa - sit down cover one two three. (2:43) Playing nice lasted for one week, I guess. It's still weird remembering they can use WCW stuff and not get in (a lot of) trouble for it; I still think of it as a big thing, even though it's not really. Hayes beats Cole talking about Jericho's "heart of a lion" on Smackdown, though.

Later on, Shane and Angle talked on Monday, the prestigious Light Heavyweight Champion Jerry Lynn wrestles but next, the biggest night in Y2J and the Crippler's life.

Chris Jericho and Chris Benoit have had a really big three days. Let's take you back to Sunday (stills) and Monday (long clip) right now. (6:29)

Coming up, Angle was looking for Shane but found trouble instead (or Spike Dudley at any rate) and clips from the TLC match, but next, Jerry Lynn puts the gold on the line.

Combos Big Show Hardcore Title Win Of Last Monday

Light Heavyweight Champion Jerry Lynn vs Christopher Daniels (already in the ring, w/o robe - 2 for 2 on the graphics) for the Light Heavyweight Title - Circle, Lynn ducks the lockup and goes low for a takedown, getting it but getting pushed away by Daniels' feet. Daniels doesn't look good on a kip up but gets a headlock takedown. Leg scissors reversal and pin attempt by Lynn gets zero, break, headlock by Daniels, Lynn with a right, right, Daniels off the ropes, shoulderblock, off the other set of ropes, over, under, Lynn off the ropes and hits a spin kick. Daniels picks him up, slam. Daniels slingshots to the apron, turns around, and hits a slingshot legdrop. Cover one two. Forearm, forearm, forearm, off the ropes, clothesline misses, Lynn's tilt-a-whirl backbreaker doesn't. Lynn rams Daniels in to the corner, pulls him back out, back suplex. Cover one two kickout. Stomp. Stomp. Lynn picks up Daniels and does - that's like inverted (upside down) Gory Guerrero Special - and now he's spinning it around even. Hayes calls it a "version of the Tarantula" which sounds technically right but altogether weird coming from Michael Hayes in the middle of a Jakked match - has he been catching up on tapes this week or something? Has Jerry Lynn? Daniels manages to slip out, misses a clothesline try and a 'rana as Lynn comes off the ropes gets turned into a powerbomb, one two. Coach remembers that we've seen Daniels before. Knee drop. Side backbreaker, one two. Hayes says Daniel's neck is Gumby-like. Lynn with a fireman's carry pick up, and tries to spin him into a TKO (I guess), but Daniels lands on his feet and ducks the clothesline. Lynn off the ropes, Daniels grabs him and puts him on his shoulders in Victory Roll position, then falls backwards to hit the electric chair suplex. Daniels pounds the mat and waits for Lynn to get up - Lynn's punch is blocked, Daniels is not, repeat. Whip, clothesline, clothesline, clothesline misses (Lynn ducks), tilt-a-whirl side slam by Daniels does not. Daniels takes time to celebrate - Hayes complains about the lack of follow up. Elbow drop, now going to the corner - double springboard moonsault to the back! Celebrate again, and then a throat slash. Bow and Arrow by Daniels! I've seen that move more in Lynn matches than everything else combined, I think. Lynn breaks free but gets a turnbuckle smash anyway. Right, corner whip, reversed, Lynn charges in and gets flipped but lands on the apron, Lynn punches but it's blocked and Daniels hits his own, Daniels tries for the shoulder to the gut but Lynn jumps over it and hits a sandwich guillotine legdrop. Lynn back in - jumping Tornado DDT and that's one two three. (4:37)

The First Even Broadcast TV TLC match and Kai En Tai Later, but when we return, Kurt Angle had an interesting week.

At Judgment Day, Kurt Angle got by with a little help from his friends. Things weren't so happy for him on Raw, but he evened it up on Smackdown. (8:49)

Still to come, highlights from a four way TLC match, but next, Kai En Tai.

RC Cola Kane wins the IC Title Rewind

Kaientai (w/flags) vs Mr. Blond and Mr. Black (already in the ring and w/o graphic) - TAKA can't find his mic - oh, there it is, where it usually is. A sign in Japanese! Neato. "This very special holiday weekend, we want to with you all a very happy Memorial Day. And to make Memorial Day special, we want you all to buy brand new Kaientai T-Shirt! Because we are EEEEEEEEEEEVIL! Hahahahahaha!" "InDEED!" Hayes compliments Kaientai adjusting to Western culture by sneaking in a plug for their merchandise. And he tells us that Funaki looks like a Japanese Goldfish. You know, if the WWF had made a TV deal with Disney instead of Viacom, besides being a truly bizarre world, we would have gotten a Pearl Harbor angle right about now. Lockup, headlock, Funaki hits a shoulderblock. Off the ropes, over, under, shot to the chest, BLOND misses a clothesline and Funaki his a dropkick. Armbar, tag to TAKA. Kick, armbar, eyepoke by BLOND, tag to BLACK, shot to the arm, corner whip, TAKA moonsaults out but gets clotheslined anyway. Whip, clothesline, spin kick. Tag to Funaki. Funaki gets pumped, right, right, whip, reversed, knee from BLOND distracts more than it hurts, with Funaki giving him a right but then getting clotheslined by BLACK. Tag to BLOND - in the midst of an argument over who's to blame between about Triple H and Austin losing all that gold, Hayes complains that it was a mistake that Coach got hired in the first place and Coach says he's not going anywhere. Snap mare, dropkick to the back of the head. One two kickout. Coach: "I sure wish they'd take you off this show." Hayes: "I do too." Whip, BLOND's head down too soon, kick to the head by Funaki, off the ropes and BLOND gives him a drop toe hold. Blond puts on a headlock, tag to BLACK, shot to the gut. Whip, back elbow. Right, whip, sunset flip by Funaki for one two kickout. BLACK up first and hits a clothesline. Right, tag to BLOND. Headlock, snap suplex, float over one two kickout. Funaki gets up and punches away but an eye rake stops that. Body slam, legdrop. Hayes does the "Austin never said he liked the fans, the fans just jumped on his bandwagon because their lives suck" spiel. Coach: "It's remarkable how fast you can go south." Hayes: "I wish you go south - right to hell." Coach: "That's nice." Cover one two. Tag to BLACK, shot to the gut. Slam. BLACK is going up - moonsault? Yes but it misses. Funaki crawls for a tag - tag to BLOND, tag to TAKA! Did TAKA spit on his palm before give a shot to BLOND, ducking Black's clothesline, thrust kick. Palm shot to BLOND, drop toe hold, camel clutch, dropkick to the face. Quick celebration, double whip, heads down too soon, Funaki gets a kick, TAKA gets a whip, ducks the clothesline, 'rana attempted is blocked and turned into a powerbomb, cover one two. In the midst of that, BLACK came running into the ring, but Funaki ducked and pulled down the ropes, so BLACK flew right out the other side. Pick up, TAKA falls behind, Michinoku Driver, one two three. (4:34) I'm sure Mr. Blond and Mr. Black have real names that I could go to the APW website and figure out (or just think for and guess which one is Donovan Morgan and if the other is Robert Thompson?) but since I have a cold, six more hours of TV to recap and a show that doesn't care enough to mention either person's name, I won't bother.

TLC highlights. I liked this match, although having Benoit win just because everyone else was occupied (and not because he or his teammate hit a big move) was kinda weird. (5:12) So is this being the shortest video package of the night. Raw is LIVE this Monday.

On Sunday Night Heat: a Triple H update, APA vs X-Factor and special guess hosts Grandmaster Sexay and Steve Blackman.

The Cubs Fan
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