You are here

WWF Jakked by The Cubs Fan




Thought: If WCW is getting the RAW taping, either they're getting this show too, or we're getting an hour of clips. 


K-Kwik vs The One Billy Gunn - Hayes says it's very appropriate for Kwik to be singing "Rowdy" since the WWF and WCW have been. Oh, your hosts are Michael Hayes and Jonathon Coachman and the war is gonna leave everyone laying. That new video screen in the entrance is very distracting. Hayes says that other people say Gunn and Show are underachievers, but not him. Maybe he's suited better to tag teams. Lockup. Coach just said "Road Dogg"! Kwik won the lockup but Gunn got in a knee, whip, hiptoss no it's blocked and there's an armdrag by Kwik, armdrag by Kwik, kip up, split, dancing. Hayes is insulting Nick Patrick now. I was so disappionted when it wasn't Patrick and Teddy Long who were fighting. Lockup, hammerlock by Kwik, Gunn look for an escape, elbow, elbow out. Whip, reversed, Kwik with a drop toe hold. Gunn is up holding his face - SLOW bodyscissors roll up one two kickout. Gunn still holding his face - right, whip, reversed, Gunn with a tilt-a-whirl slam. He's still checking out his face. Stomp, and look at the fans. First drop. Rights to the head. Pulling him by the braids! That's hardcore. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. Choke, let go at four. Right. Cover one two kickout. WCW has no chance against the WWF straight up against each other, we're told. Gunn is having trouble with the ugly looking people in the crowd. Probably the other people too, but there's one ugly guy who sticks out. Whip, sunset flip for one two kickout. Corner whip, reversed, Gunn gets the boot up. Out of the corner, right misses, back suplex by Kwik. Both slow up - Kwik gets the better of the punches, whip, flying forearm. "WHAAAAAA!" Right, whip, reversed, flying headscissors by Kwik. Not-Flatliner! One two that move never works. Corner whip, reversed, Kwik with the kip up, the flip (stumble on the landing) and the splits under the clothesline. Jumping side kick is supposed to be caught and turned into a powerbomb but Gunn kinda never really catches him and just pushes Kwik down for one two three. (4:28) Well, that looked completely horrible. The fans give Gunn their own one. Why'd we watch him walk up the apron?

The tensions are high between WWF and WCW, Kaientai fight Jerry Lynn and Raven later, but next, Vince gets caught with his pants down.

Vince and Torrie and Kurt and Austin and Linda and fast forward. I wonder if Torrie's neck is doing better. Hey, look, it's the time where Road Rules steals Real World's electronic dog. Shouldn't these people be alarmed that it's that easy to sneak into the house? Then again, it's not like they could rob someone off camera. Look, he's an idiot and forgets his fake name. Good thing they didn't bother to edit the Smackdown clips. Watch these (Road Rules) editors try to convince you that these guys took an hour to steal a dog and got out at the last second. And then this gets boring. Wow, Vince is still talking. I can't believe the Cards have fallen 9 back. Still going. I gotta stop watching this live. I like how the announcers are shocked that Twins fans would start showing up after the team starts winning a lot. Ah, it's over. (8:59)

Later on, Spike teams with Jericho to take on his brothers, while Jerry Lynn and Raven try to stop the evil that is Kaientai. But next, the WCW Invasion went on this week. 

In case you didn't have enough clips, here are some more. This time, the WCW/WWF war. And to the WCW match on RAW. Crowd reaction is muted - wait, no, the pop for Angle and Austin is darn loud. And then something happens that gets the crowd quiet during the run-in, except for when Booker T's run into the stairs. C'mon, Royals! You can win! Loud pop for turning on Buff. Hayes: "That was so fricking cool!" Then on to Thursday. Why doesn't Awesome have the Hardcore belt with him? I like how DDP keeps repeating his line until the camera comes over to watch him(8:21) So, logically, Shane's gonna fight DDP on Monday. Please pack away all glass objects. 

Tough Enough later, Kaientai next!

Greyhound new WCW champion of crusierweights.

Raven and Jerry Lynn vs Kaientai (w/flags) - Lynn comes out with Raven to Raven's music. Coach brings up X-Pac watching that match. Hayes makes the Raven/wallet jokes again. Coach: "Stop the pain!" TAKA: "Ha, Larry Jynn! Robin! Prepare to die! Our Grand Master, Spotin (?) has filled our souls with desire to destroy you! For we are not just the great tag team Kaientai, we are EVIL! HAHAHA! HAHAHA! HAHA! HAHA! HAHA!" Funaki pauses to spin around his shirt. "inDEED!" This is the first time that Raven and Lynn have teamed up - Hayes remembers that they were both in ECW. And then he remembers Raven was in WCW and figures he must be the mole. Raven and TAKA are gonna start out - wait, no, TAKA tells Raven to stop so he can do the sumo set up, then a karate pose, then an open hand slap to the chest. Raven hits his own. They exchange Promo for Heat. Hayes: "See what I see?" "X-Factor?" "Two out of three guys with gold. If Justin Credible doesn't win one soon, they should kick him out!" T hat's just WRONG. TAKA loads up the Three Stooges Eye Poke but Raven does the Three Stooges Eye Poke Block! Eye poke from Raven! Raven really is that smart! Hayes goes back suspecting Raven as the mole. I'll give him a dollar if he mentions Jerry Lynn was in WCW. TAKA staggers over to the wrong corner and gets a right, then runs to the right tone and tags out. Funaki gets a drop toe hold, and Raven holds him in a camel clutch while taunting TAKA. TAKA comes in, the ref stops him, Lynn comes in, bowing and clapping, sumo set up - dropkick to the face! Uh oh, I think our heroes have met their match! Lyn with a right, headlock, off the ropes, TAKA pulls down the top rope. Funaki draws away the ref as TAKA gets in his shots, then TAKA rolls him in for Funaki to cove one two shoulder up. One two shoulder up. One two shoulder up. Funaki's annoyed, picking Lynn up but Lynn has a right, whip, reversed, knee from Funaki. He claps, bows, double stomp to the chest! Celebrate! Tag to TAKA. Palm shot, whip, drop toe hold, came clutch by Funaki, clapping, bow, off the ropes, dropkick to the head. Celebration! TAKA does the Raven pose for fun. TAKA goes back to work, double face scrape. Chin lock. Snap mare. Fist to the head. TAKA goes to the second rope and makes the Michinoku Driver motion - that would be different. Off the top rope - and right into a dropkick. Race to a tag. Raven gets it - right for TAKA, right for Funaki, corner whip and TAKA bounces into Funaki, and then out into the rebound clothesline. Bronco Billie Special for Funaki! TAKA breaks up the cover. All four men going at it - Funaki reveres a whip, but gets his head down too soon while TAKA and Lynn battle in the corner. Lynn gets in a shot and they both call for it - Raven with the Raven Effect on TAKA and Lynn with the Tornado DDT on Funaki. Double cover one two three (3:45) The team that's teaming for the first (and maybe only) time. That doesn't seem right.

Coming up, Tough Enough clips and Smackdown clips. Don't stick around if you want more matches, I guess.

Lugz Handicap Upset Win Of Last Monday

We only bothered to tape two matches this week, so here's Jericho/Spike vs the Dudley Brothers from Smackdown. Oh, wow, the Heavyweight BattleBot rumble. (4:22)

Tough Enough clips. The third time you watch it, it becomes less interesting. (2:10)

WWF Magazine features Chris Benoit - oops.

Tomorrow Night on Sunday Night Heat - WCW! Sean O'Haire and Chuck Palumbo defend their titles against Kanyon and Stasiak! X-Factor hosts! It's only on MTV! RAW is on Monday! It's only on TNN! Street Fight! See ya!

The Cubs Fan
[slash] wrestling

Email the Author

Comment about this article on the EZBoard



Design copyright © 1999-2001 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
Guest column text copyright © 2001 by the individual author and used with permission