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WWF Jakked by The Cubs Fan





SummerSlam promo (:21)


Mike Awesome vs Albert -  Lockup, no Albert kick, right, corner whip, charge in but Awesome gets an elbow out. Awesome charges out, Albert tries to lift him into the press slam, but Awesome falls behind and drops Albert with a back suplex. Right. Right. Whip, reversed, head down and Awesome gets a kick, DDT. Hayes reminds us that Awesome help cost Albert the IC title, which allows us to mention that it'll be Edge versus Lance Storm for the IC title at SummerSlam. Awesome all the way up - Awesome splash one two kickout. Right. Slap, slap, right, right. Right. Albert's feeling each one less and less. Right. right and this one is blocked, right clothesline. Whip, clothesline misses, flying forearm by Albert or one two kickout. Argue the count. Whip, scissors Kick. He's calling for the Baldo Bomb already and even gets it locked on, but Awesome gets an eye poke in. Corner whip, reversed, Albert Splash. Calling for it again, and calling for Awesome to come out of the corner. Awesome does his part and Albert takes care of his - Baldo Bomb. One two three. (2:02) Play X-Factor's music! Albert is happy and the fans are happy for him. Think someone's in the dog house?

Still to come - new tag team champions, and new tag team champions. Also, Jerry Lynn will take on Justin Credible. But next, the Rock returns the ring.

Oh man I already hate this song. Somethings gotta give. Somethings gotta give. SOMETHINGS GOTTA GIVE.

SummerSlam Hype: Rock and Shane McMahon Booker T have issues. Why yes, they didn't bother to edit the Smackdown clips. Will we have Smackdown clips next week? (12:15) At SummerSlam, this graphic will come to life. 

Coming up, Crash and Essa "get it on" in a match, I hope. Also, Undertaker may finnaly get his hands on DDP. But next, more clips!

Tough Enough promo. Why we didn't get on the show. Greg gets an MRI and cries about. Chris No.'s girlfriend comes to visit and we're reminded that Chris didn't agree with Jason's decision, I guess. Big says something was gutwrenching and sad, and I think we're talking about Greg and not Chris. Ever notice how the "Next time on Tough Enough" one, the WWF one and the MTV Ten Spot ones are always different.

SummerSlam Hype: Kurt Angle and Steve Austin. This time, we skip ahead to the six man match, and we skip around to tell the story of Austin ducking Angle (verbally) and the two on one situation that Angle was in. Snap crackle pop. I wonder how Scotty 2 Hotty feels about Kurt Angle's ankle getting snapped. (4:00) Hmm, one third the time of the Booker T match.

Justin Credible vs Jerry Lynn - Raven is on Heat tomorrow - maybe we'll get some answers about his relationship to Terri, if there is one. I'm pretty sure these two have fought somewhere before. Circle, lockup, Justin pushes Jerry into the corner, Jerry turns it around, referee Brian Hebner tries to break it up only to provide an opening for a Justin Credible cheap right. Then again, he is an Alliance referee. Right. Whip, clothesline misses, Lynn's headscissors does not. Lynn with a kick, right, corner whip, Justin Flip falling back in the ring, Lynn goes for a bulldog but Justin holds him up and reverses to a knee breaker. Justin pulls Lynn's leg to the ring post - slamming his right knee into the ring post. Lynn pulls himself up. Justin back in, kick to the left knee. Laying on the bottom rope and sitting on it. Putting it on the bottom rope and sitting down on the left leg. Now Justin pulls Jerry to his feet and grabs the injured left leg, forcing Lynn to hop on the right one. Lynn still manages to hit an enzuiguri, but he's unable to follow up. Lynn up and limping, Justin's right is blocked, right, grab the hurt leg, repeat. Windup punch knocks Justin down for a second, then Lynn whips him, back elbow. Lynn's selling this leg more than either guy sold anything in the RVD/Lynn match last week. Slam, Lynn's leg's still is bugging him but he's going up. Second rope legdrop but with the bad leg! Lynn's such an idiot! He can't cover because his leg hurts too much. Commentators question the sense of that move as well. Cover one two kickout. Lynn pulling Justin to the corner and getting up to the second rope. Is he gonna hit the Swinging DDT? No, Justin pushes him off in mid-swing and Lynn lands - get this - right on that bad left leg. SUPERKICK. That's it. One two thr-HE KICKED OUT? Crowd is as surprised as I am. Justin: "Now it's time!" - he's hooking on the figure four! Unfortunately, he's being too much like Flair, because Jerry Lynn just rolled him up into a small package one two three! (3:17) Lynn's a counter wrestler, don'tcha know. Justin is shocked at this turn of events.

Coming up, Tough Enough. But next, DDP and Kanyon had an unsuspecting ally.

RC Cola That Turncoat Test Turns, Tag Team Titles, Thursday.

SummerSlam Hype: DDP/Kanyon vs Undertaker/Kane. If you're really wondering why the WWF isn't drawing in as many WCW fans as you'd thought they might, things like Tazz saying: "I don't know if DDP and Kanyon have ever teamed before" might give you a clue. (3:46) This graphic will be a match. This match will be graphic.

Coming up, the Hardyz visit Tough Enough. But next, Crash and Essa square off.

This Telepersonals ad has been bugging me for months now, so I'll share it with you. "This is Sam. She's 27. She's an office manager. She's having a hard time managing her love life, though. Six months ago, she ended a five year relationship. Right now, she's just looking to relax and have some fun, no strings attached. She didn't realize how hard it would to be to get back in the game and find someone normal to hang with. A friend at work told her about Telepersonals. She figured she had nothing to lose, so she called. Today, she's talking to Jack, he's 33, in the same boat as her, and extremely funny. He knows how to let loose, and have a good time, with no expectations. And he also happens to have a best friend who's a fireman. Things could get interesting. Suddenly, the single life's not so and - thanks to Telepersonals." Either my mind goes in it's own place there or that last bit about the fireman is getting out there. 

JVC Steve Austin Stunners of Last Monday. "Debra jerking Lita off..."

Crash vs Essa Rios (red tights, no tearaways) - The positively odd thing about this Invasion thing (which, assuming this is the last match, went 2-0 for the home team tonight) is that besides the little graphic differences, the matches are pretty much the same as this ordinary WWF/WWF match. They're going to Chicago but I'm not. Coach's birthday is tomorrow - Hayes thanks he should just be happy he has a job. Your ref is the Alliance's Billy Silverman. Lockup, waistlock by Crash, Essa with a hammerlock, headlock, elbow, elbow, off the ropes, shoulderblock by Essa. Off the ropes, over, turn around and dropkick to Essa' legs. Right. Whip, reversed, hiptoss, blocked by Essa, Crash blocks Essa's attempt so Essa flips out (it is a WWF Light Heavyweight Match!) but Crash clotheslines him. Crash pulls him up, whip, reversed, Essa with a kick but Crash holds the ropes. Essa charges and gets backdropped to the apron. Right by Essa blocked, Crash with a shoulder to knock him to the floor, off the ropes, baseball slide dropkick, Essa jumps up to the apron to avoid, so Crash trips him off the apron. Essa throws him in. Covers one two kickout. Slam. Crash does Essa's No Mercy taunts! That's not nice. Crash going up (not for the moonsault) flying right. Cover for one two kickout. Whip, back elbow misses, Essa with the cradle for one two kickout. Crash up first with the clothesline to Essa down. Forearm, whip, clothesline is ducked under, spin kick is ducked, clothesline misses and Essa hits the back elbow to stop the misses, then a reverse neckbreaker. Both men down. Crash' right is blocked, Essa hits one of his own. Repeat. Right, right, whip, backdrop. Dropkick. Kick, whip, reversed, Crash missed a clothesline (but looked like he was expecting Essa to do something with that free arm), Essa turns and hits a clothesline. Pulling him back up, wristlock, kick, right, Mexcian armdrag into a powerslam. Cover one two kickout. Pick up, no Crash goes behind, elbow, elbow, off the ropes and a spin kick. Pickup, fireman's carry and forward drop. Going up - moonsault misses, but Essa lands on his feet. Charging Crash misses too, and Essa runs into the corner. Crash takes advantage - nottheAcidDrop and one two three. (4:07) Coach says that was a Torando DDT but he's not right. I believe that after I went of on the WWF last week, they decided to get revenge by jobbing all my heroes. (Also, Mike Awesome.) I believe many strange things.

Tough Enough Clips (3:27)

Heat Hype and we're out.

The Cubs Fan
[slash] wrestling

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