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WWF Jakked by The Cubs Fan




HEY - If you (or you know someone who) work over at WCIU Chicago (particularly in the programming department), can you please ask them to move Jakked and/or Metal so they don't both run right against Excess? And then thank them for all the wacky wrestling companies they've allowed on the air the last couple years. (I figure the odds are low but I might as well try - no website and finding a snail mail address is a challenge.)

wwf tv 14 ldv - I guess you can do more on an over-the-air channel than TNN at the same time.


Raven (w/Terri) vs Essa Rios (red - no tear away) - Terri's still getting the handle of the whole Raven pose thing. Circle, Essa' got to fix his hair. Lock up, headlock by Raven, elbow, elbow, push into the ropes and Raven comes back with a shoulderblock. Off the ropes, over and into an Essa. Dropkick. Raven's clothesline out of the ring and Essa follows with a pescado. This match never ends happy, you know. Kick, right, corner whip, corner clothesline, Raven put on the top rope, right, top rope 'rana NEVER works. Raven comes of the top and stomp stomp stomp and right to the ninth. Here's a choke. Essa is on the outside, Raven follows and gives him a Russian legsweep into the barrier. Essa thrown back in, Raven back in. Corner whip, rebound clothesline. Cover one two kickout. 8 head smashes into the mat by Raven, which ref Mike Sparks seems to dislike - a hair pull going on? Raven wanders around - corner whip, charge into a back elbow, charge in again and Essa ducks a clothesline before hitting his own. Dropkick. Dropkick. Right, whip, jumping back heel kick. Whip (again), kick, right, kick but it's caught, oh no Raven's turning Essa around by his leg so Essa's is back to the ropes and flips him again - this time Essa's midsection lands on the top rope hard. I wonder if that was supposed to happen last time. Raven pulls Essa's body a little bit towards the ring, and hits an elevated Raven Effect for the one two three. (2:52) Hooray, they got through the match without a badly blown spot! Of course, it was a three minute match. Here's a replay of that Evenflow - hey, stop doing that Hayes.

Still to come, Funaki and Crash collide! Also, midgets. (There's a difference between those two subjects, I swear.) But next, Stone Cold STeve Austin is a very special person.

Steve Austin and Kurt Angle - from SummerSlam to Raw! This time, the Tazz bit is left in. (7:44)

Coming up, highlights of that twelve man tag from Raw, and highlights from Tough Enough. But next, highlights of Rock and Booker T.

RAW and Rock and midgets and Smackdown and a match and Booker T. (9:42

Still to come, Edge became a singles title holder Sunday - would Christian do the same on Monday? But when we return, one more down on Tough Enough.

Slim Jim Hardcore Title Match of Last Sunday

I'm guessing they don't show the commentators again this week - but they're Jonathon Coachman and Michael Hayes, if you're wondering.

Crash vs Funaki (w/Flag) - shockingly, Funaki has nothing to say. Crash is either raising the roof or pumping the engine. Regal and Tajiri on Heat. Funaki's not wasting any time; let's get this started. Lockup, waistlock by Crash, go behind by Funaki, Crash looking for an escape and finding it with another go behind, now turning it into a headlock, Elbow by Funaki, into the ropes, shoulderblock by Crash. Crash is a little surprised, off the ropes, under a clothesline and over with a flying headscissors. Kick times three, corner whip, Crash charges with a splash, Funaki moves out the way - bulldog! Funaki is proud of himself but the crowd isn't. Funaki starts clapping - jawbreaker for Crash. Choke over the second rope. Funaki celebrating - "USA" chant. Hayes starts ripping into Chris Leary for daring to exist on this planet, much less commentate on Jakked last week. Oh wow, I've missed Hayes. Snap suplex by Funaki, who's obviously not used to this much offense in this ring. Cover one two kickout. Leary looks like Satan - I wonder how Hayes knows what Satan looks like. Whip, sunset flip attempt by Crash, Funaki's not gonna go, now he is, one two kickout. Clothesline. Celebrate! Cover one two kickout. Hayes moves on to the normal Mike Sparks bashing, but then promises not to make fun of his mother this week. "What about his grandmother? She should've been shot years ago!" Back suplex by Funaki. Clap! Cover one two kickout. Now they're bashing the Red Sox. Chin lock. Crash manages to get to his feet without an elbow, but then hits three to escape. Off the ropes, Funaki clothesline misses, double clothesline and both men are down. Both up at six. Funaki's punch is blocked, Crash's is not. Right. Right. Right. Right right kick kick kick kick, Crash celebrates. Corner whip, charge in, yell, monkey flip. Corner whip again (Funaki spins around for some reason), Crash charges and gets kicked. Funaki with a corner whip, follow, Crash kips up - nottheAcidDrop. One Two Three. (3:53) You think Crash will get his own finisher one day?

Tough Enough clips (2:23) I keep forgetting to point out Taylor's nifty "dripping blood" artwork (not featured here) - one of those things that remind you that you only really know a drop or two about these people.

We're short a match this week, so why not watch part of that twelve man from RAW? Didja catch CRZ making calling the reverse neckbreaker/back suplex combo the Dudleyz did '3D' - it's like he's JR or something. (You take that back! - CRZ) I think I might just be bitter that he was smart enough not to recap Excess. (2:50)

RC IC Title Change of Last Sunday

Christian wanted to win the European Title but didn't. Then he wanted to win the Tag Team Titles but didn't. It was a tough week for Christian and his Christianics (I dunno) everywhere. And what of Edge? Where was he when Christian got pinned on Smackdown? Why didn't he help out Christian like Christian helped Edge out at SummerSlam? Nutty submission master Undertaker is the coolest thing yet. (5:31)

Hey, wasn't there supposed to be a TAKA match here? Guess not. (Alliance wins 1-0) William Regal and Tajiri are your hosts on Heat. Matches too, but nothing worth talking about. RAW is Live. See ya.

The Cubs Fan
[slash] wrestling

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