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WWF Jakked by The Cubs Fan




Two Years Ago, Marc Taylor watched Bulldog need to cheat to beat the Godfather and keep his European Title, the Acolytes triumph over Mideon and Viscera, D'Lo pin Funaki and Steve Blackman make Shawn Stasiak tap out.

One Year Ago, I saw a new open, Raven beat Essa when Essa lost it on the armdrag, Just Joe job again (this time to Steve Blackman), Saturn and Malenko win a squash and Gangrel out maneuver Funaki for a win.

It's nice that they have a commercial telling me that WWF Jakked is on at 8, because it's 8. 

TV 14LDV Attitude Open

Billy Kidman vs Jeff Hardy (w/clips from Smackdown but no Team Extreme) - Certainly, the place for this match is Jakked. Lockup, no Kidman with a kick, forearm, forearm, whip (1), ducked clothesline, Jeff comes back with the spinning (I don't feel like calling it flying anymore) headscissors. Your announcers are Chris "Are you sure there's nothing there?" Leary and Jonathon "Not to discount what the Hardyz are going through, because certainly a lot of couples go through turmoil..." Coachman. Stomp. Turnbuckle smash. Corner whip (2), reversed, kip up, Kidman stops short, Jeff headscissors him out of the ring. Waiting for Kidman to get up - pescado. Whip (3) into the stairs, reversed, Jeff jumps on the stairs, leaps to the barricade, turns around and starts running at Kidman but Kidman darn sure have had time to trip him up, and he did. Jeff falls to the floor. Thrown in, slingshot legdrop. One two kickout. Stomp. Grabbing the leg, now Jeff flips over, so Kidman grabs both legs, turn, slingshot into the ropes holding on so Jeff can fall back onto Kidman's knees. Snap mare, chin lock! I hope the people who complain when Gunn does that complain here. Jeff battles up with elbows but gets pulled down by the hair. Choke on the ropes. Sidewalk slam, one two shoulder out. Chin lock #2! Jeff battling out, off the ropes, right into the dropkick. Kidman positions Hardy's dead body, goes up, flying splash hits no one. Punch/block sequence, corner whip (4), reversed, kip up and Jeff dropkciks Kidman in the back. Split legged jawbreaker, split legged legdrop, one two no. Jeff goes for a suplex (I guess) but Kidman gets out of the facelock and reverses to the Ski Hi. One two shoulder up. Slam, no Jeff falls behind and hits the DDT. Jeff going up - crotched by Kidman. Coach actually says "Team Extreme!" Kidman with rights - he'll get pushed off - going up, suplex blocked, blocked, Kidman pushed off (oddly enough, falls right in to perfect position), Swanton Bomb. one two three. (5:23) Someone mailed that in, maybe it was a good thing it was only on Jakked. Either that, or they were told that chinlocks were a convincing way to be a heel. Jeff's back to holding his side post-Swanton.

Coming up, Austin vs Undertaker on Smackdown. Also, Albert vs Hugh (oh no), but next "Why Kurt Why?"

So, what happens to WrestleMania if the WWF loses? (What happens to those tapings and house shows the next week?)

Last Monday recap. You don't know HOW worried I am that they had all those guys out there and Essa was nowhere to be seen. We move on to Smackdown at some point. Didja SEE that 7 OT game Saturday? That was something wacky. (8:40

Coming up later, Spike and Crash. But next, Albert vs Hugh.

Hugh Morrus vs Albert - Puddle of Mudd sucks. I like how Coach makes fun of Leary for being uncool, like he's the coolest person in the world. Edge on Heat. Leary forgets if Edge lost to RVD on RAW or Smackdown. Lockup, Albert pushes Hugh into the corner, break but Hugh eye pokes, punches. Albert pushed in the corner, punches, slaps, Hugh's turning around and all the sudden Albert's feeling fine. Thrown in the corner, punches. Coach says "I know you like big guys" and Leary's annoyed because his mom watches this show and thinks he must be gay. Whip, back elbow. Whip (2), Albertsmash. Albert corner smash. Second rope, yell, splash but Hugh moves (how? he doesn't actually seem to be hurt at all, HMMM.) You know, perhaps you shouldn't tease a move you're never ever going to connect on. Hugh with strikes. Coach and Leary are talking about how great Michael Hayes is, but then, them talking reminds me how great he used to be on this show. One day one (or both) of these guys will be gone and he'll be back, we hope. Hugh with a whip (3), reversed, Hugh with the jump to the second rope, slightly slow turn around, clothesline for Albert. Strikes. Corner whip (4), Hugh with an Albert corner smash! Albert does not go down. Bearhug. Albert with punches to the  head, Mongolian Chop(!), off the ropes, under the clothesline, turn around and punch. Whip (5), scissors kick. One two no. Albert corner smash, but Hugh gets an elbow up. Hugh with a slam! Going up - second rope elbow drop. One two of course not. Stomp. Oh that'll really keep him down Hugh, I'm sure you're not going to miss with the No Laughing Matter again. Albert doesn't even wait for it - he gets up, gets in to the corner, and Baldo Bombs off the top rope (not that much higher, actually), one two three. (3:03) Albert holds his back.

Still to come, Sean Stasiak vs Billy Gunn, but next Undertaker and Austin on Smackdown.

My Sacrifice. (1:25

Undertaker vs Austin (3:33)

The One, coming up later. But next, Crash and Spike team up for the WWF's sake.

WWF Rewind MAKES NO SENSE of Monday. MAYBE if they said "join and we'll give your belts back" it might work better, but Angle's isn't using one of his Is if he really believed the Alliance team was going to win.

Justin Credible & Chavo Guerrero Jr. (Justin's music) vs Crash & Spike Dudley (Crash's music) - Notice all the zoom cuts to avoid showing the rest of X-Factor. Hey Chavo's not wearing the WCW shirt for once. Crash and Spike high five and agree to get along and the announcers actually do note it which almost makes me think they remember a time when they weren't, but I'm not yet convinced, since no one's brought up WHY. Justin and Chavo wisely attack before the bell. Simultaneous whips (um, 2?), simultaneous reverses, simultaneous hiptosses, simultaneous 'ranas. Justin's takes his out, but Chavo stays in - whip (3) by Spike, backdrop by Crash, and Chavo lands on Justin. Coach thinks the good thing about a possible WWF loss is Leary needing a new job and they wouldn't be working together any more is also a good thing. Crash is in and the Alliance team takes their time getting to their corner. Chavo gonna come in? Sure. Lockup no, Chavo with strikes. Whip (4), spinning headscissors. Spike with a cheap shot and Crash with a clothesline. Tag to Spike, double whip (5), double flapjack, double dropkick to the chest. One two kickout. Spike with a whip (6), reversed, Spike gets a cheap shot on Justin but Chavo throws him shoulder first into the ring post. Chavo warns Charles Robinson that Crash is about to do something illegal and he should stop him, while Justin hits the SUPERKICK (Coach: "savate kick") on the outside. "That's what you get! [Spike thrown in] YAAAAA!" The quoteable Justin Credible. Chavo covers, one two no. Chavo puts Spike head first into Justin's boot. Tag to Justin. "Now it's time, little man!" Kick. Dragging him to a neutral corner, turnbuckle smash, kick down in the corner, boot choke. Pulling powerbomb. One two no. Kane is at a medical facility because he hurt his ankle by the end of that match on Smackdown. I only note it (the fifth time they've brought it up) to see if they change their mind by tomorrow. Tag to Chavo. Hold so Chavo can kick him. Slam. Front facelock, Spike striving for the tag but is just short - oh, Chavo decks Crash to stop that. Crash wants in but gets cut off and there's that Canadian Backbreaker again. Going up - no Crash crotches him and Chavo falls to the mat. Chavo is moving face and Spike not at all, so he makes a tag. Justin running in with an elbow drop, and missing. Spike's trying to crawl to his corner - and goes right through Justin's legs. Tag to Crash, clothesline for Justin, forearm for Justin, clothesline for Chavo, whip (7), powerslam for Justin, one two Chavo tries to break it up but Crash sees him coming and moves out of the way so Chavo hits Justin instead. Chavo thrown over the top rope, but Justin up with a kick, back up, whip (8), clothesline misses, Spike makes a blind tag, Crash holds the ropes and Justin yells at him, not realizing Spike is in. Charles Robinson asks Crash to leave the ring (Crash perhaps not realizing he'd been tagged and arguing), missing Spike hit the kick run Dudley Dog. Cover but Charles and Crash are still arguing, Crash trying to get him to turn around. Chavo up top - FROG SPLASH on Spike. Justin rolls over and puts an arm on top, one two three. (4:35) Crash can't believe they lost that match - and now he's attacking Chavo! Rights a plenty - Dudley Dog (up Justin Credible, relaxing in the corner) of his own! I bet Crash remembers when that used to be his move. Spike with a right to knock Justin out of the ring, and Crash raises their hands. Play his music! What poor sports. I wonder if they'll ask for a rematch hahahahahahaha

Greyhound Edge victory over RVD of Monday. No, we don't see RVD getting the win back on Smackdown. They do talk about it.

Shawn Stasiak vs the one Billy Gunn - He doesn't have Mecca on his tights anymore. The announcers say that Billy Gunn has been in the WWF for ten years (not exactly a Decade of Destruction there.) Fink announces Gunn's weight as "269." I have a rule about this match. The rule is "NO." Coach does question Angle's logic in trusting Austin. Leary seems to be thinking the double agent idea, but doesn't dare say it out loud. Hmm, Coach is wondering why he'd make that move too. Leary: "It boggles the mind!" Totally, dude. Stasiak is working the left arm and the announcers do remember the surgery he had there and the oddity that Stasiak is wrestling smart. Instinctively, Gunn does the punch block with his left arm the first time, but before then, it seemed like he was doing quite a better job selling it than the sixth best wrestler in some people's minds. Oh wait, there's a whip with the wrong arm. Again with the whip with the bad arm. I guess he doesn't know how to whip with his right arm. I guess he doesn't know how to do a match with out a lot of whips. 6 whips, Stasiak strangely wrestles the whole match without doing something silly, except if you want to count lifting up Gunn while going for the Meat Grinder, allowing Gunn to flip behind him and hit the Fameasser for the win. (4:08) WWF wins 3-1.

Edge will be on Heat, so like watch or something. On Raw, Chris Jericho vs the Rock for the WCW Title. 

The Cubs Fan
[slash] wrestling

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