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/25 September 1999

WWF Jakked by Marc Taylor




Whp0854, you kick ass! For the rest of you out there, the reason that WHP kicks the ass is that WHP was the first and so far only person to email me concerning a Jakked report. Unleash your keyboards upon me! Love, hate, and anything between is acceptable. SEND IT!

Hosted by Los Michaels, Cole and Hayes.

Godfather w/5 hos vs. Joey Abs w/Rodney, Pete Gas, and Terri Runnels
And we've got a mini-angle to start.... Godfather says he would offer the hos to the Mean Street Posse, but it looks like they've already got one, so he'll offer Terri a job instead. Terri turns down the offer, so the Godfather says he'll just have to kick Joey's ass. As the match goes on, Rodney and Pete Gas are distracted by the hos, so they aren't able to interefere as freely as Joey'd like. As he's truned around to yell at them about it, Godfather hits the Ho Train and Pimp Drop for the win. 3:26 Post match the posse gets a few kicks in on the Godfather, and Joey seems generally upset with his allies for thinking about their dicks and not him.

Rescue of The Week: HHH takes out Test and Shane on Raw, only to fall victim to a Vince McMahon chairshot.

Recap of Vince ordering HHH into the 5 matches on Smackdown, and the resultant matches. Take a look at CRZ's Smackdown recap if you really need to know specifics, since I'm the laziest recapper on the face of the earth.

Slam of The Week: Test hitting the pumphadle powerslam and top rope elbow on Jeff Jarret, which is sufficient for JJ to job to Stephanie McMahon on Raw. On a side note, I'm all for any circumstances that cause Stephanie to wear a t-shirt that tells me to "Come Get Some".

Gangrel vs. Blue Meanie
Meanie moved fairly slowly throughout this match. He was probably wondering why Stevie Richards has been on Raw and Smackdown recently, and he's stuck on Jakked. Gangrel hits the Impaler ddt for the pin at 3:31.

Recap of Big Slow, Viscera, and Mideon losing the tag titles to Rock and Mankind on Raw, and then Rock and Mankind losing the titles to the returning New Age Outlaws on Smackdown. Maybe Gunn won't be feuding with Chyna after all. Maybe I'm glad Mideon and Viscera weren't wrestling on Jakked this week.

Prince Albert and Droz vs. Khris German and Kevin Northcutt
Surprisingly back and forth here, considering the jobberiffic nature of the proceedings. Albert and Droz get my vote for most competent team of Jakked regulars. Prince Albert's press slam into falcon arrow seals the deal at 4:32.

Recap of Jarret's spiel from Smackdown of berating the stage director, and Chyna smacking him up a bit and stealing his pants. Chyna should wear JJ's pants to the match at Unforgiven, that'd crack me up.

Hype for Heat(Hollys vs. Hardys) and Unforgiven closes the show.

Marc "The Mark" Taylor
[slash] wrestling

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