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/30 October 1999

WWF Jakked by Marc Taylor

30.10.99

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BLAH

After my little experiment last week, the only feedback I got was in support of the more standard, detailed recap style. So this week I'm back to my normal format, and away we go...

As usual, the hosts are the WWF's pair of Michaels, Cole and Hayes.

Gangrel vs. Al Snow
A "we want head" chant gets going at the beginning of this match. Both guys do their usual stuff, until they end up outside the ring. Here, Al grabs a chair, swings at Gangrel, but only hits the ringpost. Gangrel then spews the "red liquid" in Al's face. And the bell rings. 3:50 The Michaels are just as confused as I am, and bring up the possibility of a double count out, while I'm thinking Gangrel may have been DQ'd for using the "liquid". No official announcement is ever given. Anyway, both guys keep going after eachother post match, until they run off to the back. I actually expected Snow to go over clean here.

Next we have a recap of the reunion of D-Generation X, from Raw where HHH and the Outlaws setup the Rock/Austin vs. Outlaws tag match, and the DX reunion ending, and then on over to Smackdown, where DX mugged the Rock, Xpac turned on Kane, and Austin went DX hunting. The footage of Austin 'hutning' DX is accompnaied by what I can best describe as some "Good 'ol Southern boy gone huntin'" type music. We also see the end of Smackdown, where DX is netted by Austin, and then beat on by Austin, Kane, and the Rock.

Slam of The Week: From Smackdown, Mankind realizes he's misplaced Socko, but his good buddy Al Snow helpfully totes the sock to the ring.

Val Venis vs. Shawn Stasiak
Val looked pretty good here, while Stasiak was just plain Stasiak. Val pulled off a cool sleeper reversal by twisting out and powerbombing Stasiak for 2. Los Michaels are hyping Val quite a bit here, noting how he "doesn't let his opponent gain any advantage". Ok. I saw Stasiak get enough of an advantage to stretch this match out to 6:34, where Val puts him away with the Money Shot.

Now we go all the way back to Rebellion, where the Bulldog got pissed and swung a trash can around, nailing the most attractive member of the McMahon family in the head. This helpfully sets up the recap of Test vs. Bulldog from Raw, since Test is Steph's fiance and all. The freaked out highspots occur as Test does the elbow from the top of the cage, and then after the Posse attacks Test, Shane does his crossbody from the top of the cage. Test chases the Posse out of the ring/cage, but gets whapped in the head by the door. Steph then bounces down to ringside to be with her fiance and brother. Now we go to Smackdown, where the Bulldog gets a little help from his sweater vested bitches to take the Euro title from D'lo Brown.

The Headbangers vs. Knuckles Nelson and Dukes Dalton
Hey! Knuckles Nelson, the comically named jobber, is back on my tv! And he's brought a comically named jobber friend! The Headbangers rather handily go through these particular opponents, hitting most of their neato double teams along the way. I particularly like seeing the "one 'banger powerbombed by his partner onto the opponent" move back. Stage Dive ends it at 4:42 for the 'bangers.

Oh my, I can't possibly do this justice... in one of the lamest segments of the past couple years in the WWF, we have some 'extreme biker' guy with the Dudley Boys in "Bop-it Extreme Advneture Hour". The Dudleys play around with Bop-its in the background while the biker guy tells us just how cool Bop-it is. Then the biker guy says that you should always wear protective headgear while going 'extreme biking', but before he can put his helmet on, one of the Duds shoves him, and he and his bike are sent down the hill they were standing on, into a pond. Yee-haw.

Blue Meanie vs. Tom O'sullivan
Quick squash, with Meanie hittng the Meanie-Sault at 1:46 for the pin.

Heat hype: Hollys vs. Acolytes, and Headbangers vs the Posse.

And that would be that.

Marc "the Mark" Taylor
[slash] wrestling

Send carnal lustings to: takakdx@aol.com

BLAH

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Guest column text copyright (C) 1999 by the individual author and used with permission