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/20 November 1999

WWF Jakked by Marc Taylor

20.11.99

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BLAH

Mark Henry vs. D'lo Brown
The Michaels talk about the past friendship of these two as various clips are shpown of them palling around. D'lo dropkicks Henry's ankle, which causes Mr. Chocolate to head to the outside to try and walk it off. D'lo takes this oppportunity to nail a tope. D'lo's snap legdrop gets 2. D'lo actually tries the RealDeal on Henry, but gets backdropped out of it, and Henry sits on D'lo for a 2 count. Then, in the "Damn!" spot of the night, D'lo manages the SkyHi, albeit with a healthy jump from Henry. The LoDown gives D'lo the victory over his former friend at 3:55.

Now we head back to Survivor Series where Steve Austin was run down by a car, which gives us all a nice big fat angle to chew on for a while. From Raw we see the investigation of DX, where HHH suggests Vince McMahon as a suspect, which segues into the main event between Kane and HHH, where Vince and Kane pound on Helmsley a bit. Now to Smackdown, where DX beat up the Stooges, kidnapped Test, and smoked out the McMahons. HHH also challeneged Vince to a mtach at Armageddon, and then we saw the McMahon family at the bottom of staircase.

And now we take ANOTHER GODDAMN LOOK AT ARNOLD SCHWARZANEGGER'S INVOLVEMNET FROM 2 FRIGGIN WEEKS AGO! ENOUGH!

Brian Christopher w/Scott Taylor vs. Edge w/Christian
Its just a whole lot easier to refer to Too Cool that way as opposed to their nicknames. Christopher's gold chains fly off after he takes an atmoic drop from Edge. Its always nice when your ring gear helps you sell a move. An enzuigiri hits Edge in the back. Brian hits a nice superkick in the corner, and then a missile dropkick for a 2 count. Edge manages a tornado ddt out of the corner after being set up by Christopher. Edge rolls up Christopher, but a missile dropkick from Scott Taylor sends him over to be pinned, giving Brian the win. 5:21 Post match, Edge/Christain get a small measure of revenge on Too Cool.

Stills of Jericho vs. Chyna from Survivor Series lead us into another Raw recap, where Chyna and Miss Kitty taunt Jericho, distracting him enough to be beaten by Gangrel. Chris then plays a little MC Hammer on Chyna's thumb.

4 corners tag team match: Dudleys vs. Headbangers vs. Hardy Boys vs. Kaientai
Matt and D-von start out, as a rematch of sorts from last week. Buh Buh Ray gets tagged in, and then botches a 'roll-up out of a splash' spot, which sucks because it makes both workers look like idiots . Taka and Chaz each get tagged in and Taka hits a missile dropkick quite nicely. Once we make it to the obligatory spotfest on the outside, the cameras totally miss Funaki's tope. Taka's asai moonsault is shown, however. While everybody else is dicking around outside, the Dudleys hit 3D on a Headbanger for the pin. 4:34 Ya know, this match alone could've gone for like 30 minutes, and been pretty damn good too. And with the Hardys and Kaien-motherfucking-tai in there, they could've had plenty of highspots to keep the crowd into it. But nooooo, we get shit like the repackaged Fatu. Oh well, at least we do still have the occasional bit of extreme goodness, like Taka vs. Stevie Richards on the September 11th edition of Jakked.

Bop-it Extreme Adventure Hour: this week the ExtremeGuy (I refuse to learn his name) is in the hospital, all bandaged up from previous Extreme Adventures. His doctor tells us that he wants us to all play Bop-it, or something, and then the Dudleys come into his room so that they can fuck him up some more while they play with Bop-its.

Crash Holly comes out, accompanied by Hardcore Holly, and challenges any superheavyweight to come out, so of course here comes Rakishi Fatu, and we have...
Crash Holly w/Hardcore vs. Rakishi Fatu w/gigantic ass
Crash basically gets squashed, falling victim to the same fat-guy offense that put away Julio Fantastico last week. I will give Fatu this at least, his sit-out piledriver finisher does look pretty brutal. Said piledriver gives Fatu the win at 2:15.

Since Heat has already started, I should probably get this mofo sent off to CRZ.
So long, humanoids.

Marc "the Mark" Taylor
[slash] wrestling

Send carnal lustings to: takakdx@aol.com

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