I Get Letters
Thanks to:Jim Gramze
How'd this guy get so over?
I guess you're referring to Rakishi. Well, I think it all goes back to Keith's theory about characters versus personalities. A "Wrestling Sultan" isn't exactly the most believable character in the world. But it is conceivable that a big fat guy gets befriended by 2 hip hop wannabes for no reason...wait a second. I guess it doesn't go back to his theory......who knows. Angle for President! Angle for President! Angle for President!
Subject: Thunder Recaps
Chris, If you want to have an on-site Thunder recapper I understand, but you might consider hyperlinking to Keith's recap as well.
Subject: Rikishi = OVER~!
Phatu shakes his ass up at the ramp - in Helmsley's direction. Credits are up - Helmsley is fuming - we are out.
How'd this guy get so over?
Considering that Too Cool don't really cut any promos (is dancing a promo?), I'd have to guess it's that enormous ass, and as much as I hate to say it, Lawler really helped Rikishi and his rear end get over.
Maybe you should call Rikishi "King Ass"...it's not like Billy Gunn's career has changed a bit since winning KOTR!
Oh, and great job on the awards. Go Sixers!
Christopher P. Grovich
Subject: PHATTY TOO SLAPPY!
How did that guy [Phatu] get over?
It's as simple as the hackeneyed one-two-three. One, with his blond hair, he just has a cool look to him. Two, man, that cat can dance! Three, remember when he was at the club with Too Cool?
That's all there was to it!
Something interesting to me is that Too Cool were getting over, themselves, and Phatu has just taken them to the next level, eclipsing Sotty 2 Hotty and G-Master Sexay... two of my favorite wrestlers now. How is that that the groups known as Too Cool and the Hardy Boyz sucked soooooo much just a year ago?
Enjoyed your typically entertaining review, as always. Do you smell a DX turn at the Rumble, giving the belt to Mick? At least they could go back to being faces that way, which is apparently what the unwashed masses want. Over on WCW, isn't it becoming more apparent week by week that the real writing talent at WWF was not these two clowns, but Vince McMahon and company? WWF has not skipped a beat in its story lines, while Russo and his butt-boy continue to pur out most pitiful crap I have ever seen. No wonder VInce didn't make any effort to keep them.
Subject: Rikishi Fatu's ass and Jerry Lawler's worm!
It has gone far enough, CRZ. I'm an open minded man. To each his own, and what not. But last night was just TOO MUCH, no pun intended. I'm forced to look at Fatu's big, fat, jiggling, cottage cheese ass busting a a little more than a move each week on TV, but do I have to see a close up of it, and then hear The King in the background saying, "Here comes the worm!" If you don't know what I'm talking about, review the commentary from the Too Much/Rikishi Fatu v. Headbangers/Al Snow match, namely the post match celebration.
It's just plain sickening. I'd hate to see what goes on in the showers back there, CRZ.
Subject: (no subject)
I MISSED THE GOLDBERG INJURY ON THAT THURSDAY, DO YOU HAVE A WRITE UP OF THAT MATCH.....IF NOT
-AL RAMOS KYLE TX.
He fought the window of the limousine - and lost.
Was at the St. Louis RAW last night. I had my "CRZ is God" sign in tow, but alas, sat out of camera range. I tried....8+>
Thanks. It's the thought that counts anyway - although I am SO *NOT* God. :)
Subject: Just a theory
Who on earth are they playing to with this show?
You strike me as the type who appreciates the handful of comic book writers (Frank Miller, etc.) who've been able to take old, dead characters and make them new again. I can only guess that there's a movement at WCW to do that kind of "Dark Knight" thing. I know, I know, "Age as a gimmick?! Could anything be stupider?" But that's my only guess.
Tony Dela Cruz
Oddly enough, I found last night's Nitro to be the most entertaining in a while. This is not necessarily a good thing, but nevertheless... Saturn's splash, the stuff with the old folks, Daffney hissing at Asya, Zybzko's speech, there was some entertainment there. Some.
Also, I laughed hard as Jarrett desperately tries to be a heel while Nash and Steiner steal all his heat by acting cool and coming out with women. If they did a viagra angle and let the Old Age Outlaws get the women, that'd get 'em over, I swear to god. Put Torrie with Paul Orndorff!
But please, god, take Oklahoma off my television. I don't care who in the WCW wrestles during that spot, ANYONE but Oklahoma, please, god...
Regarding your scathing comments about last night...You didn't mark out just a little when Superfly climbed to the top of the cage? Speaking of oldtimers, it's amazing that Tito never won a match in any Wrestlemania, yet he beats Jeff Jarrett last night. Who would have thunk it? Maybe it's not amazing....just sad
You know, the one thing I hate about your recaps is that, while I can always tell if you hated a show, I can never tell if you LIKED one. For example, take the 2/10/00 Raw (no please, take it. I'm not using it anymore. I insist.). Did you like it? Was it good for you too? Better or worse than the last two weeks of treading water?
WHAT DO YOU THINK!!!!????!!!!
You know, this letters page is almost a month ago but we STILL haven't seen this far into the future! ;-)
Subject: The "privite" area Picture.
I see what you see. It's there as sure as I'm standing here in the middle of the ring.. No wait that's someone elses line(sorry). they took the picture that way for ratings, a Little T&A always helps, look at WCW they use it all the time, but does it really help them? oh well, just wanted to say what I thought, love your Raw and Nitro Reports.
Subject: Your Articles
I love your articles/recaps. They are some of the funniest stuff that I have ever read. I look forward to reading them every Tuesday. Keep up the good work. Your takes are right on, WCW woulnd't know how to make a show if their lives depended on it, keep up the heat.
Phil Palisoul II
Subject: Fill in the blanks...Nifty!!
do you know if rikishi is yokozuna??
Yes, I do know.
I LIKED IT. THEY ARE PLAYING TO ME. NOPE AND I'L STILL ORDER SOLD OUT CAUSE I GOT A LOT OF MONEY TO WASTE JUST LIKE I ORDER EVERY WWF AND ECW PAY PER VIEW NO MATTER WHAT CRAP THEY PUT ON TV. HEY BY THE WAY HAVE YOU EVER WRESLTED BEFORE?
Carl "I got too much time on my hands" the Canadian
Hey I thought a schwa was an upside-down "e!" Problem is, there's no schwa key on my keyboard - so you get "uh" instead. They pronounce them the same way in Canada? Who knew?!
Subject: RE: FYI
It is an upside down "e" as well, however this is another definition rarely used anymore except in those snooty expensive English language schools that I could never get into even if I sucked off the Dean. But I said too much. Later dude.
Subject: Your nitro report
Good call Chris, last night's Nitro sucked ass. I turned the channel as soon as Raw started.
And to think, this guy used to REAM me for dissing Nitro! They ALL come around...eventually...
Subject: nitro recap
how much does the wwf pay you to write that crap about wcw. in you look like a girl so think twice before you call someone gay vincent ceaser
And yet, there will always be those struggling to convince me WCW is... wait, did he say I look like A GIRL?!?
Sorry-I'm shallow! What was that joke about Bret's attitude/karma about?
I think he's almost run out...
Subject: you rule
you are probably the biggest peice of crap writer I have ever read. you are way to biased and i am surprised wrstleline still has you do the nitro report. you are taking a dig at a guy who is spending the time to write you a letter about how he feels you do the job that you get payed for? how can you tease that guy for liking Bagwell? admitedly he is pretty crappy, but grow up! nitro was not all that bad. if you would look at it in an unbiased non prejudgemental way, you might be able to actualy write a report with some good stuff in it. Maybe even a funny joke or two... or would that be to much of a strech?
I'M a little surprised Wrstleline still lets me do the Nitro report, too! Except, of course, they can't seem to FIND anybody else...
"unbiased non prejudgemental..." - that sounds like how most people who write me these letters come in when they start reading my Nitro reports...HA!
This whole Funk thing is shit man. Funk is done, has been done, and always will be done. WWF figured that out last year and released his sorry old ass. Who in their right mind would pay $30. to watch a ppv that featured Terry Funk. What the hell is the ppv about anyway??? Beats me, I am convinced they don't want anyone to order it. Why else would they load up Nitro with a bunch of washed up out of shape has beens. Did someone owe these guys a favor or something? Their indies promotion they wrestle for go under? What gives here? The Nitro before a big ppv and they do this shit? WCW was even better without Russo. He's just making it crap. I loved Snuka, Santanna, and The Animal, but come on that was 15-20 yrs ago.
Actually, the WWF never released Funk. Just saying.
Subject: your report on nitros, read this
Your report on nitros suck dick, fuck your reports and make wrestleline get a better s.o.b to report it, you mark of wwfs.
Why don't YOU make WrestleLine get a better SOB to report it?
Subject: WCW Musings
Thanks for the continual GREAT weekly recaps of WWW and WCW, by the way. 1 quick suggestion: any chance of seeing *** ratings alongside each match recap?
Anyway, regarding WCW, two quick points:
1) I fell for it again. At least this time, unlike Heroes of Wrestling, I didn't actually spend my hard earned money to see a couple of old favorites (Steele, Superfly, and this time Santana too) move slowly. In ring ability may have degenerated, although, the one saving grace for Nitro was once Superfly FINALLY got up to the top of the cage, it was pretty spectacular seeing his dive again. Poor Tito, however, too old to get over the top rope in less than 3 takes.
2) As much as I want to like WCW, lately is blows. I'm trying to be kind here, by the way. I think they have some great talent, and some old guys who I used to love to watch. But the talent sites on the sidelines, while the old guys show their age. Reverse the booking completely and I bet ratings go up. It's been SOO painful lately, with so many POOR angles, that I was 1 or 2 sentences into the WCW Wrestling Jesus story before I realized it was a joke. That's pretty sad.
By the way: has WWF given up on Jericho as a heel? He even comments on how his pop is better than Chyna's now. I guess they're going for the Austin style "mean guy the crowd loves", at least they better be, since I'd hate to see a face version of his mic work, which is priceless.
Here's hoping for a continual heel push of him, and Kurt Angle, really the ones two guys getting great heel heat besides HHH.
Scott G. Lewis
Thanks for the thoughtful letter. I totally agree with point 2 - with such a great roster, you think they could do better than completely blow chunks.
I don't think I'll ever get into star ratings - I'm more of a "liked it/didn't like it" kinda guy and I tend to enjoy * matches almost as much (sometimes more) than *** matches - at least, as defined by other folks.
Subject: Wit and the WWF...
I don't know what all your critics are talking about... I think you've got the best spin on the Monday night wars... BTW, that first Raw report was priceless... Especially considering that you're still looking at these shows in the same fashion as you were in '93 (Yokozima... heh...)...
Keep up the good work regardless of the morons who want to believe it all...
Some people refuse to believe I've been doing this for over seven years! I mean, I've got proof and everything! Can you believe them?
Subject: u suck
why must u be anti wcw even when nitro delivers a great show u must rip i up i cant stand it cant u call it down the line once im not sayin be like wcw.com and make everthing sound all peachy keen but come on.
(singing) I GOTTA be mee.......
Subject: (no subject)
Finally! You have done it. A final response to the show at the end of your report. that's all I want(ed), thank you.
It was a mistake! I SWEAR!
I am sorry to read that you did'nt like Nitro. I thought it was very entertaining and I also think Nitro has very much improved since the Bischoff era. It is sad that all you internet reporters are pro-wwf because I can't suffer through two hours of crap on Raw just to see the Rock cut an interview, and wrestle in the main event. I don't know about you but I am really tired of seeing the Dudleys fight the Acolytes. That fued has been going on since the Dudleys made their debut, four months ago. My point is that I would enjoy reading your articles if they were not so one-sided. Give Nitro a chance.
My articles are always gonna be one-sided - MY side. Perhaps if you read more carefully, you'll see that my side isn't ALWAYS pro-WWF. Then again, maybe you won't.
Subject: Re: Ho Picture
So what IS wrong with the picture of the ho?
*Whaddaya mean* girls don't have penises?
I bet the Powers That Be are part of some WWF conspiricy to destory my once beloved WCW. Okay maybe it was dead from the start but before russo and ferrara came it had a chance not its chance is dwindling. They destroyed the cruiser weight title and the T.V title. not even the wrestlers care about the Tag titles any more.
I bet Vinny mac paid them to go to WCW and drive more in the dirt. Please some stop them before its too late. I thought they wanted to get people over so far i've seen only 2 improvements benoit and jarrett. They can't push the Luchadores or the Japanese. They also keep throughing old people on my beloved show i thought they got rid of hogan flair and savage to show WCW isn't a wrestler retirement home. but i've seen more old people now then ever that serve no purpose. They already rid the the show of Goldberg and Sting whos next. Get rid of them now!!!!
Bill busch is part of it too fireing everyone whos decient and has skills and keeping the jabronis. Me and my friends gather round the television on monday hoping WCW will put something together to save the promotion. but it hasn't happened so send this to your friends stop the conspiracy before its too late please!!!!!
Subject: what is that?
the "thing" appears to be the bottom part of her panties, although my first impression was that i was seeing some type of "ho-maphrodite"
Subject: "Bombshell" photo
Yeah, I think I saw waht YOU think you saw in that photo- skanky.
Love your columns. I just wanted to point out that no one other than you called the Santana match correctly. NOT EVEN HEENAN. I hate to admit it but I popped for the Flying Jalapeno. But alas I was crushed when Bobby Heenan failed to call the move. How could Heenan not call that? For how many years did Heenan give Santana shit. At least you can call a match.
To be fair, I ALWAYS call that move the flying jalapeno, though...
Do me a favor jerk, If your gonna write the damn NITRO report, Please don't slam it jackass, You never slam WWF...One word...MARK .....Maybe you should try booking, until you do, Keep your damn mouth shut.....
Man, dissed by a girl named "Twinkles." That sounds SO out of character!
Subject: Just a few words for you..
Find a new profession.
You didn't think this was my REAL job, didja?
Subject: This past week'ss shows.
I truely love your reports. But the next time the two reports have this to tell me please save your time. I work at night so what I dont wake up to see Iget from your report. But if that is all you got from the BIG TWO then why you stop waisting time and do another pastime report like you did with the old WWF RAW.The one from the 7 year itch . I want wrestleing not this new shit.(by the way I can't get the original Horsemen and the New Breed out of my head please post. I think they were Chris Champion and Sean Royal . they were the original "high flyers"
I can't tell from your email - do you like my reports or not?
I think that Ho is a man. No woman should have anything hanging that low anywhere in that area. As for RAW, loved it, especially the Mankind-Torri bit. you have to admit that was funny. I also like the way they brought back Cactus Jack. Definitely not the easy way to work things. Saw the Rock at Mall of America and they were not lying when they estimate about 15,000 people. It was packed all the way around the mall and on all 4 levels. Don't know if you've ever visited sorry MN but this is really the largest mall in the US taking up almost 1 square mile per level. He was awesome, gorgeous, and went out of his way to be good to us. The event coordinators wouldn't allow us to take individual pictures with him or get personalized autographs and didn't even want us to pick where to have him sign our books. Still, when I asked he wrote Happy Birthday, The Rock in my son's book (it was his 5th birthday) and stopped to talk with him for about a minute or so. He started by spending about 3 minutes with a fan in a wheelchair, went down and signed his book, talked with him, and took some pictures. The fans were screaming and crying, just like he was Michael Jackson overseas or something. I would love to know the actual decibel level when he threw the people's eyebrow up - the crowd went wild!!! Literally! We were in line for almost 8 hours but it was worth it. Can't wait to see where he goes from here.
Tasha N. Williams
Subject: Raw 1-10-00
I just wanted to drop you a line about your 1-10 RAW column. As you may or may not know, after the cameras went off, Mick Foley grabbed the mike and announced the return of Catus Jack. ( I was there) Just thought that this may be of interest.
Thanks...I enjoy your column.
Subject: the pic
I saw the picture that you were referring to in this weeks Raw report, and I would have to say that it looks like a little bit of penis to me.
I really think WCW is putting out really poor shows. Russo has so far been a dissapointment. Why in the world is Tank Abbot and Jerry Flynn still around? They are boring and their matched are not entertaining to say the least. Where are the luchadors? Just because they have no mic presence does not make there matches less fun to watch. I personally do not think that Terry Funk makes a good commissioner. I thought last weeks NITRO was a really poor show. It was nice to see these old wrestlers again but to make a whole show out of it is Ridiculous, even though I must say that it was great to see the Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka coming off the top of the cage once again. How many matches were there anyway....like 2? I do not count the matches with the old school wrestlers. I think they should bring back Ric Flair on TV and have him be in a major storyline. He always draws big ratings. They should reform the Horsemen to fued with the Revolution or the Filty Animals. I'm mot really a big fan of the NWO. I think they should of just left that dead. WCW just has way too many people on their roster. Now that their show is 2 hours long, they don't have enough time for all their wrestlers. They should slim down there roster so it is easier to maintain and focus their storylines better. Just wanted to voice my opinion. By the way...I think your reports are great. Keep it up....Peter Poon
Subject: raw and nitro reports
I love your dry sense of humor and the fact that WCW leaves you scratching your head proves to me that I'm not retarded after all.
By the way, Roger Corman is not dead. He's alive and kicking in Los Angeles running Concorde-New Horizons, his production company. I worked for him as recently as two years ago.
Once again Thunder sucked and the double turn by Hart on Funk and Anderson was SOOOOOOOOOOOO predictable. The most uncomfortable was watching Funk and Anderson try to get down to the ring as fast as they could and they were still moving as slow as my Grandmother. Funk is almost a cripple and does NOT belong in the ring. The moment of the night was as Terry Funk and Arn Anderson were getting there asses kicked in the ring, Paul Orndorff and Larry Zybysko came running down to the ring Mighty Mike Tenay calls out " and here comes the NEW AGE OUTLAWS!!!!!" HELLO MIKE....... Smackdown is on THURSDAY NIGHT!!!!! Other than that Thunder once again, even on Wednesday, Sucked!!!
Subject: You suck soooo bad!
I am so sick and tired of your columns, that I can't take it anymore. You are the WORST writer of wrestling news on this planet. You are so freakin biased it's ridiculous. I am making it a point now to spread the word to everyone, that they not read your columns and boycott your dumb ass!! Never again will I click on that little icon to take me to your "CRZ report" and I swear that I will make sure that SO many other wrestling fans will do the same. You make me sick and I wish you would find another profession.
CRZ's former reader!
Wow, the WHOLE planet??
Subject: Renaming WCW
Long time listener, first time caller. Anyhow, since you like to rename things and since WCW has degenerated into all Jeff Jarrett all of the time, I think it's time that we refer to the AOL-Time Warner-Turner/Fonda product as DoubleJCW. Just a thought.
Subject: i have a Question
hi chris. i Was wondering something and i thought you might know coz your the Best. when is the genius going to come back to Wrestling? he was the best and he told those really good poems and things. he was a Good dancer too wasn't he? he would be Great coz there is no stone cold and i miss him because he drank beer. do you drink beer? the genius would be good against triple H because he would say "hay genius, suck it" and the genius would say "no" and the crowd would cheer. what is the geniusus real name? i asked someone and he said it was lionel fitzgiven junior the third. is that right? what happened to the yeti he was cool coz i like bandages coz i hurt my head a lot on the wall and mom keeps taking me to hospital coz i bleed but thats because i want to be like mickkind coz hes hardcore. what is ecw? why does the wwf have the wcw too because i see a wrestler in the wcw then he just goes to the wwf instead and then goes back again later why do they not have one show instead of splitting the wrestlers up coz they might be friends and miss each other. why do the undertaker not wear his hat any more coz that was cool and he had the urn and it was real shiny. make the genius come back thanks chriS
Stop sending me fake letters, Martin!
Christopher Robin Zimmerman
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