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I Get Letters


Really, can you go wrong with TERI?
Thanks to: Jim Gramze
We start with a few stragglers between the last batch of letters I'd collected (but hadn't put up until a few minutes ago, d'oh!) - three weeks ago - and then segue into the usual suspects from Monday and Tuesday.

Subject: My Coolness Is * Always * on trial !

That gal has some nerve. Lissen kid, your coolness will be on trial till the day you die. Get over it. Hell ,fire up a smoke. " Sometime it's what you don't do....". Yeah right kid, try not filing your taxes. Oh, sorry.
Do you find it as amusing as I do when the young married couple ask Arsenio Hall, " Who are you ? "....BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh art imitates life sooooo well sometimes.
" Well I used to be a superstar. I had my own talk show, and spewed nearly as many catchphrases as The Rock. Eddie Murphy is my friend ! " Coming To America ! I was in that movie ! Okay, okay ......Sammo Hung is MY co-star on a TV series. Hey..Hey we are ya going !!!!! ....THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO HMMMMMM.......Ya gotta remember ( sob ) that ....". Of course the guys gross income annihilates mine. Long live Arsenio....WOOF WOOF WOOF... Oh for pete's sake.
Speaking of Long Distance commercials. Bobby Heenan gave us the PWI Almanac moment by asking if Courtney was " Killer's daughter " ..hee hee. If David Arquette can marry Courtney Cox..... well I think if you called Spice, I'm sure she'd at least CONSIDER. I mean you are in possesion of " all of her love " , are you not. Open that safety deposit box.
Hey, no Torrie Samuda ogling from you. That's respect for Mike...right ? Well ,clearly The Awesome Three have no such respect for Mike Samuda. But Tony likes Mark Madden. That's just wrong.

Have a dandy
Shawn Colton

Subject: Teri, Buh Buh Ray and Droz

I don't want to seem too overly sensitive or self-righteous when discussing a wrestling show. But having said that, I did think that it was more than a little bit eerie last night when we saw Droz and his real life plight less than half an hour after the Dudley Boyz/Teri angle. Watching Teri immobilized and wheeled off on a stretcher was an effective way to put the Dudleys over as monster heels. Hearing JR and Lawler wonder aloud whether she might not have permanent neck or back damage added to the scenario. But the whole thing took an unintentionally grisly turn when we saw Droz, in his wheelchair, minutes after Teri was whisked away in an ambulance to a "local medical facility." It seemed a less than sympathetic juxtaposition. When one portion is so clearly a work, how do we react when the same situation is handled sincerely after the beef jerky and toy commercials?

I'm reminded of your reaction to Jeff Jarrett's phony tears on Nitro from a few weeks ago. You said that it cheapened Jarrett's genuine emotional display from WWF's Owen Hart tribute. Well, that series of events happened over several months. Yesterday's sequence went down in a matter of minutes, and the tribute to Droz felt all the cheaper when the audience had the Teri angle to reconsider.

Again, I don't want to belabor this too much. But I do think the WWF might have done well to reconsider the material, or at the very least, when it aired. I don't know what the solution might have been. Perhaps they could have shown the Droz footage on Smackdown, after the Teri scene was not so fresh. I might be the only person that feels this way. And clearly, no one in charge at the WWF put half as much thought into the matter as I have. Droz may not have been a main event fixture. But his struggle shouldn't be reduced to television filler material either.

What do you think?


I think that's a GREAT point.

Subject: Wcw

I hate WCW!

Ryan Rautio

Thanks for sharing!

Subject: youre horrible

do you really have nothing better to do than to sit at home and return emails to people who critisize your crappy ass work?

David Graner

Actually, I try to do it at work - that way, I feel like I'm getting PAID to talk to you!

Subject: (no subject)

stop calling rock la roca!!!! it is very gay that you call him that!!! if rock knew you were calling him that he would beat your candy @$$


Be sure and tell him for me next time you see him.

Subject: search...

Hey CRZ!

I just finished searching for the word "walking" on the new search option on the slash and this is what I got: "Your search for walking returned 446 Items"

Now I KNOW you have mentioned the word walking more times then that!! Get those bugs fixed!! Bye!



Subject: WWF raw Comments.

All i gotta say, is that anyone who takes out the Roadd Dog like THAT is A-O-K in my books..


Subject: cyansuckindigo and michaelindulgentangelo

Their columns are self-indulgent, annoying and not at all worth reading. Get rid of them or discipline them. Either way I am never reading anything from them again. At best, they are midcarders with little of substance to say beyond any other fan who knows how to express him/herself.

Ian C.

BUT, in their defense, they DO produce content every week! Except...I haven't heard from EITHER of them THIS week....hmmm...??

Subject: RAW thoughts


As always, great reports. I don't see why people don't appreciate the occasional smartass comments, but I for one find it refreshing. And the Rock is beginning to annoy me. I wait for Taz to ruin him.

One thing from RAW: The Acolyte Protection Agency? The way Bradshaw got into the whole thing is amazing, what with making a sign up and all. How long before he makes a hat out of newspaper and a sword from tin foil and plays pirate backstage? If the fans can attach themselves to "head cheese" then what's to stop this from getting over?

Frank Doosey

Subject: Y2Jeeziz

Y'know, if the churches are swiping Y2J, maybe turnabout would be fair play. Jericho, being Our Role Model as well as the Saviour (!) of the WWF, should adopt the "WWJD" stuff, with the obvious switch of Js.

Wrestling Jesus, indeed!

Dave Mitchell

Subject: whoa

Mark Madden is one FAT man. Just thought I'd share. To Mark Madden: "PUT DOWN THE BIG MAC!!!!!! LEAVE IT ALONE! THE BIG MAC IS YOUR ENEMY!"

Chris Wills

Hey, now, it's not like he has CONTROL over the fact that he's...oh, wait, I guess he does. Never mind... Madden wrote a bit about his one-night stand on, go check it out - or don't ;)

Subject: RE: Terry funk

I think you missed when Funk screwed up Ric Flairs name by calling him Lick Flair


It's in the transcription! (Isn't it?)

Subject: Old Journey

Hey Chris,

I 'm shocked, stunned, and otherwise amazed. In your Nitro report you mentioned T's new music as "old Journey". I didn't think you were that ancient. I realize peple from the Bay were always fans of the old style, but its so rare to actually see or hear anyone who remembers those days. Keep up the good work!

Dan Hain

Did you just call me "ancient?"

Subject: white?

Jeff Jarrett being white has nothing to do with CHIZZAMP...carny was wrestling locker-room kayfabe talk looooong before it was hip for biggie smalls to yap away in it in songs...

Sterling Rick Silver
Commissioner, NWA-NY

Yeah, but did you ever hear Jarrett use the word before Monday?

Subject: 1/31 RAW

Have I yet mentioned Show's new "I'm Buff and I'm the Stuff" haircut? Did I follow it up with "What the HELL was he thinking?" Well, I MEANT to.

You missed HHH's off-hand line when the Show was in the office, whining. His first words were, "What's with the haircut, Gomez?" Cracked my ass up. I was waiting for a Lurch followup, but it never came...

Robert C. Biggs
Richardson, TX

Subject: RAW

Hope jury duty isn't going to be one of those OJ, six-months-later CRZ is still sequestered sort of things...
I'm thinking after Raw this week that apparently Stephanie Mc. and I are fated for each other. She looks good but every time she opens her mouth i just shake my head in confusions or embarrassment. Sounds like the rest of the women in my life--she's the perfect fit!
Yeah, its a really slow day at work if I'm having thoughts like that. On the similar thought, I'd like to see Steph get involved in some of the women's action going on. Of course, I'd still like to be Wrestleline's resident perv. But really, as the only woman on tv under 50 who regularly wears clothes, the slightest bit of skin from her would seem like full frontal from Stacey Carter.
Ok, that's it from the thoughts dept. today

Todd Thomas

Subject: RAW

Hey CRZ...

Shouldn't it now be called the "4D"...Damn Dudley Death Drop?

Jamie MacQueen
Ottawa, Ontario

Subject: What's up with Scott?

Do you and Scott Keith have heat? I noticed he dissed you a couple of times lately. What the hell is his problem?


For the record, I started it in my SmackDown! report. Of course, I dissed him only ONCE, so if he dissed me a COUPLE times, I'll have to find a way to make it up to him!

Subject: nitro

2 bits:
Cut to the NWO dressing room - Jarrett: "Looks like we just found Sid two partners." Steiner tries to make a joke but he's cut off by

Promotional consideration paid for by Jolly Time Blast'o'Butter



MAMALUKES (Luke, Mama, I love you)

A Howard Jones reference!!!! That's your best one since (with Riggs and Murtaugh) which took me weeks to figure out (and when I did, I felt really stoopid that it took me that long.)


I used that Howard Jones one a couple of times earlier, but nobody wrote until now. I was getting worried! (Well, not really.)

Subject: Big Show's New Name

Hey CRZ,

With the Big Show's new haircut and all, shouldn't he be called "The Buff Show" from now on?

Michael Javornik

Subject: Rock is Dead

Thank you, my brother. You see, I was suffered through a severe case of Rocky-Markaviacitis. I was one of those obnoxious a-holes that you hear yelling ,"it doesn't matter blah blah blah!!!!!!", in the mall. Shamed I am. And then I grew tired, so very tired. Tired of the catchphrases, the eyebrow, the sing- a- longs. But I was scared. Scared to admit that the love I felt had turned into a black, festering hatred of the "people's champ (Hah!)". But then you, my brother, showed me the light, showed me that's it's okay to hate the Rock. For this I am in your debt.
To use another catchprase, "I once was lost, but now I am found". Although I think that one has some legs, and will be around longer than "roody-poo candy-ass".
Rock on (oops) Chris.

Spencer Sussman
Phila, PA

Subject: Haircuts.

Big Show - Got one.
Ric Flair - Needs one.

Geoff Smith

This suddenly makes me want to take another picture of myself! Oops - I'm not at the computer with the QuickCam...well, maybe later

Subject: whatever

I'd just like to pass along that Cactus Jack and the Radicals is like my all-time favorite rock band.

Markus Bishop

I HATE when I feel like I should know what you're talking about, and yet I don't!

Subject: hi!

Well I have been reading your Raw/Nitro recaps and I must say they kinda suck.
Your just a long haired freak with no talent.
get a job, get a life.

Darren Crawford

Thanks for the constructive criticism! We here at [slash] wrestling aim to please!,

Subject: Superbowl Miss. Congeniality Commercial

You know the winner of the of the Miss. Congeniality is from Connecticut. You ever notice that the lady that attacked Connecticut was from Georgia?


NOW I did! :)

Subject: Miss. Kitty

Do you have any e-mail address for The Kat? I'm a huge fan and I woul dlike to contact her in some way. Can you help me out? It would be much apprecieated. Please e-mail me back at [address deleted]



I DO have her email address, but I'm keeping it all to myself because I don't think I could handle the competition. (Sheesh)

Subject: La Roca

Hey Chris, I caught the Rock's promo on RAW, and I couldn't help but think how great it would be if he turned heel again. I miss him saying "this isn't sing along with the champ!" etc. Anyways, I was just wondering if you had any idea what the deal the WWF and the NFL are striking up. I'm guessing it'll be incredibly lame (like LT main eventing Wrestlemania against Trippa B).


We'll know TOMORROW!

Subject: Nitro

Did you notice that the money that Knobs gave to Jarrett was pink? Ahh, the production values! You'd think Bill Busch would spring for something a bit more realistic than a pack of freakin' monopoly money.

Ryan Paul

Subject: ramblin' replies

LASH LeROUX v. EVAN KARAGIAS (with 2/3 Count and the Green Circles) in a World Cruiserweight title tournament match

I'd like to see some brackets in this tournament.

Oh sure. NOW you appreciate Russo!

BOOKA T. (with Mydnyte - hmm, the graphic says so - but he's not) v. BIG T (with Stevie Ray and J. Biggs) in a "loser can't use 'T' in their name anymore" match

Midnight climbs on the back of Big T, but he shakes her off but quick.

Midnight, Asya and Chyna* have a booking oddity in common. They are all booked so that they go down and STAY down from any half-way decent bump. What's up with that? They LOOK tough. Why are they booked to take bumps like fragile little flowers?

*Chyna has bounced back quicker now that she's in singles matches on a regular basis so the comment doesn't apply as much to her anymore. BUT, didn't she sit out a large portion of the 3-way match between Chyna, Jericho and Holly after taking an early bump?

Flair/Funk interview. The only part of this weeks nitro that I liked a lot.

CHRISTIAN (with Edge - you think you crow him) v. D-VON DUDLEY (with Buh-Buh Ray Dudley) -

You know, I was just thinking. That last segment was all spots! Now that I think about it, I have *no idea* WHY I enjoyed it so much!

Because the Dudleys are playing UBERheels to perfection so all the cool stuff the good guys do to them are made magical.
BTW, smooth move by WWF in making the Acolytes happy heels (facelike heels) so that the Dudleys have the pure heel turf to themselves.


and Tazz ends up taking off *the Rock's* head with his clothesline before going after Angle. One would imagine that the Rock couldn't be too happy about THAT....

So Tazz gets into a feud with a top rank headliner this quickly, eh? And the WCW guys seem to be getting decent push (witness the punk out of the feds top heel, HHH). Think about it - a few months ago WWF had a shortage of Top Rank talent - now they're flooded with main eventers.

HARDCORE & CRASH HOLLY (with Scale Holly) v. VISSSSSSSSSSCERA in a Handicap match

Off the ropes, alleged spinning heel kick COMPLETELY misses but Crash sells it

I guess the kick always misses but this time they showed the only camera angle they shouldn't have shown. Anyway, I hope that (with all the new guys to incorporate) they no longer have enough time for Viscera and Mideon appearances on Monday or Thursday night.

MATT HARDY (with Jeff Hardy) v. BUH-BUH RAY (DAMN) DUDLEY (with D-Von [Damn] Dudley)

Jeff is placed on Buh-Buh Ray's shoulders - and there's the poweromb THROUGH MATT, THROUGH THE THREE TABLES! For added effect, one doesn't break! Here's replays from several angles - Buh-Buh Ray ain't blinkin'. Ho-lee-shit.

Criminey! How are they going to top this? A SCAFFOLD match?

Arthur Kimes

Subject: WCW SUCKS

I' M sorry for all the negative mail I've sent you in the past foolishly I've tried to defend wcw but now I see my judgment was wrong last night nitro was the worst I've seen in a long time no storyline no action no russo no benoit just a bunch of crap sadly you've been right the whole time WCW SUCKS ! I will never everrrrrry doubt you again

vincent ceaser

Another one SEES THE LIGHT! :)

Subject: Mon. Nitro

Hey CRZ. the boos when it was announced that Nash wouldn't be there were real. The crowd was pissed. You've got to understand though, they had 3-count come out 3 TIMES. Once was before it went on air and they did their damn song twice. The crowd was calling for Norman. About the asshole chant for Harlem Heat, it actually went on for a lot longer than the T. V. showed. We were edited man. One last note from your first hand eyewitness, the highlight of the night, and it's not Flair. He's a distant second. Ms. Hancock was brought out on commercial break and put in the cage to dance. Poor girl's skirt kept riding up on her. Later.

Scott G. Girard

What, no pictures? This mental image alone isn't gonna cut it!

Subject: Flair's Comments...

If God created Flair on the ninth day, then he really is as old as he looks.


Subject: About Raw...

I'll have to wager that you were pleased with the way the WCW folk were used last night?

Faithful reader,
-Andy Napier

That'd be a safe bet.

Hi Crz -
Just a little feedback on the search - I love it! Better than on any other site I can think of....
Thanks heaps!


C'mon, it can't be THAT good. (Can it?)

Subject: Intercourse, PA

Hey CRZ,
I noticed in your report that "Hervina" was announced as hailing from Intercourse PA. In case you did not know this, Intercourse is actually a real place. It's about halfway between Philadelphia and Lancaster. One time I had to go there for some reason, and as you could expect I was just a little shocked to see that there actually was a town with a name like that. It's actually a nice little town, and nowhere near as sleazy as the name would suggest. All the same, I'm sure the good people of Intercourse are grateful for the WWF to get them even more publicity for their weird name.

Eamonn Tigani
Villanova PA



It has to be said that something's amiss by Dustin Rhode's first public announcement stating that wrestling should be left to trained professionals and then the next match features David Flair!


Now THAT'S a great line. I'm gonna steal that if I get a chance - hey, maybe on THE EDGE.

Subject: Free Radicals?


After good ol' JR referred to the Four as "free agents" and then repeatedly as "radicals", I thought a good name for them might be the "Free Radicals." It's a chemistry term...


But don't free radicals cause you cancer?!?

Subject: The Rock

Why is that gentleman insulting The Rock? The Rock is entertaining and fun to watch. Yeah, he can get a little repetitive with the catch phrases but he does put on a good show. He seems to be willing to sell other wrestlers and does job from time to time. At least he doesn't run around with overbleached hair and a flabby man chest and yell, "WOOO." Granted, he's not Austin or Foley but he is entertaining. By the way, I never liked NKOB.

Scott Griese

Subject: Size Matter in WWF?

Maybe i am overestimating the obvious. While the "radicals" are good ring specialists, there size can only make one wonder. I mean they are great workers and all that but next to the "Greenwich Posse" they looked tiny, and they are first class jobbers. I don't know but i think that the WWF is getting good workers but need to put some lifts in their boots to gain credibility. You get one of them in the ring with Rock, TBS, or Helmsley, they will have to flat out work to show they might stand a chance. Tazz is i think providing a big booking problem, i really don't think that he is going to be used right and suffer. Maybe i am way off, could you enlighten me on the subject??

Great Column!


Why are you so height-biased, and how can we cure you of it?

Subject: Question to you


I have been reading your recpas for a few years now, keep up the good work. I have an assignment for school and a questions asks what are some wrestlers named after greek gods and myths? The only ones I could think of were Perry Saturn, John Kronus, and Hercules. Any other info would be helpful. Thanks again.

Best regards,

Myron Ubl

Got me. Zeus?

Subject: Stevie Ray....

He got a good one by Booker T when he said (paraphrasing) " Maybe you can get your G.I. Bro gear from ten years ago and making some money from that sucka!"

......New WCW signings to make people forget about those guys who can actually wrestle, you know those not over like that other Canadian Crippler or something...

Nikita Koloff, Dutch Mantel, Greg Valentine, Jake Roberts, The original Sheik, Nikolai Volkoff, The Mulkey Brothers, and the long awaited return of yep, The Rock 'N Roll Express.

Damn, It's like 1993 all over again.

Jason Hyska

Subject: Another Rock hater

Greetings and Salutations,

You know, I shouldn't really say a Rock hater, because I still do enjoy the Rock. I am an older Rock fan. A fan of the young upstart leader of the Nation who feuded with DX and lost the IC strap at Summerslam. I loved Rock the heel, but apparently he was so good at getting the fans' reactions he won himself over to the crowd. I still get a kick out of the Rock, but I just can't believe that he literally has millions of people hating the Big Show (with Keith Olberman) for no reason.
Also I'm curious about what you think about the rumored heel turn of Austin. I believe that Stone Cold could come down to the ring drown some kittens in a pool of beer, flip off the pope, give a cripple a stunner, and still walk away a fan favorite.

Chris Schadt
Warwick, New York

Subject: Something different...

First of all, in honor of Mr. Wight's new haircut and the new look that comes with it, I believe it is time for him to be re-christened as: "Well, It's The Buff Show." ("Well, It's the Big Buff" or "Buff Is The Big Show" could also work.)

I was originally going to offer to do a recap of some sort, but all the shows are taken (well, except for the U.S. version of Metal), so instead I figured I'd try out a fantasy booking column like Kevin used to do on WL (whatever happened to Kevin, anyway? ). I don't really know if it could be a weekly thing or not - maybe something that could go once a month, or after a pay-per-view or something like that.

I could probably have a sample something in a couple of days if you're interested... I know you're busy this week with the jury duty thing, and I sympathize. (Last October... four days of inconveniencing me just to find out I'm not needed - fricks up the whole f'n week)

Matt Spaulding

I kinda don't like fantasy stuff but I'll still put it up - ask Matt Hayden :) - hey, I'll print almost ANYTHING, right?

Subject: wwf ads

i see your sick and tired af the WM 2000 ads, well here in Dallas every damn commercial break we get those annoying ass 1800 Call ATT comercials with the 2 ninjas GEEZUS THOSE AR SO DAMN ANNOYING, if you dont see them consider yourself fortunate that u just have 1 repetetive commercial to watch.


I generally only recap the wrestling-themed ads, or the promos that take place during shows. Unless I'm REALLY annoyed by something - those old Coke ads come to mind. As for David Arquette, I try to mentally block him out - I've had varying degrees of success with this...

Subject: Just out of interest...

How many people have sent yo this URL from the onion by now?

Matt Stuttle

You were first! Welcome to the Letters page!

Subject: Benoit and others in wwf

Short and simple. Finally Benoit Malenko Guererro and Saturn are some place where they can get a push. Now I have absolutely no reason to watch WCW.Ha Ha Ha!


I think you're BIASED!!!!

Subject: Big T takes the mic and says "Yuh Guhn Duhn! Yuh Guhn Duhn!"



Sometimes the oldest jokes are the best jokes...

Subject: thats it i'm coming down there!

tell that godamn fool the new kids on the block were never cool, the rock has been cool since he arrived, the nkotb sucked hence not around anymore. the guy who sent that e-mail is a loser and probably thinks the wcw is going somewhere real fast.
yeah as soon as kedvin nash jumps into the gulf of mexico!

quick quote: wwfe +1 3/16 at 2:04

david m

Subject: what do mean i can't fucking write for you cuz i mark out for the rock

are you still l.ooking for writers for your site?
i have been thinking, about a lot of stuff and lately i feel it is festering inside of my head and....well i just get so godamn pissed off i want to powerbomb tedturner through the wwfe symbol at the new york stockexchange or where ever the fuck it is (hey if nash can act like the wcw is ok than that can godamn sure as hell happen!), . i want to editorialize like everybody else but what i really want to do is chop off maddens head. hahahaha
so give me a friggin job.
or not
thanks for listening cris

david m

Yeah, umm, I think spelling and capital letters are important things for prospective writers to use when asking me about columnist positions, y'know? And if I were Madden, I'd probably be LEGITIMATELY scared of you. ;-)

Subject: New theme song for The Big Stuff, er.. The Big Show

Hey CRZ,

My co-worker and fellow wrestling mutant Karl Stoll coined the new name "The Big Stuff" in honour of The Big Show's new "Buff Is The Stuff" haircut. After splitting our sides laughing I set to work on a new theme song for the big man. Here it is!

   Wellll, it's The Big Stuff,
   It's The Big Stuff show tonight,
   He's Rough,
   And he's Tough,
   He's Big,
   And he's Stuffed,
   It's The Big Stuff!!!!
Hey, the lyrics are just as darned unimaginative as the original version :)
So how about including this in one of your updates and giving us a plug? :)

Gary Chan
Toronto, Ontario

Is being on the Letters page good enough? Well, sorry, that's all you get.


Hey man, what's going on with Hyatte? And what snotty e-mail did you send him? That dude has lost it.

Hector Sanchez

The only thing I can think it might be was when he sent an email saying something like "You and I could build a wrestling website from the ground up and make it a huge player" and I wrote back, TEASING, saying (and I quote) "I already did that, babe - without you!" Now, I SEVERELY doubt that Chris saw that as anything other than a joke - well, I doubted that until his "snotty and cocky" remark - but you never know with Hyatte - that's probably just a joke as well.

Still, we haven't seen the man in two weeks have to admit that's not exactly the way to reclaim your "kingdom."

Oh well, doesn't affect ME - does it?


Christopher Robin Zimmerman
[slash] wrestling


Letters from three weeks ago

Copyright (C) 2000 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications