You are here /wrestling

I Get Letters


Please chant 'slut' to me
Thanks to: Jim Gramze
Subject: See your famous


Dip shit Mark Madden mentioned you on his latest recap....

The H-Bomb is quickly going to become one of WCW's most feared maneuvers. It destroys everything within a 20-foot radius (that's the size of the ring, for you internet big thinkers that couldn't figure it out). A double power bomb delivered by two men of that size and disposition is going to leave a mark both physically and mentally.

Boy for someone who hates you, he sure reads your articles.

Keep up the good work.



Its 10:30 and I'm still watching Raw. What seemed to be a good match between Benoit and Tazz turned into WCW quality bullshit. Bossman and Prince albert need to be given their releases IMMEDIATELY. Bossman seems to always get into some bullshit angle with someone that never really accomplishes anything or gets anyone over, and it's terrible to see WWF using Tazz this way when is he capable of far much more. And as for Prince Albert, those sissy-ass love taps he thinks were punches he was giving to Tazz looked more like complimentary pats on the back for a good performance against Benoit so far. What a shit thing to do to Tazz, especially in front of his home crowd.


Subject: raw 28.2

RAW has just ended and I feel bad for all those ticket-buying people who were expecting another big MSG show because that totally blew chunks from start to finish. It fucking sucked. I listened to Fatboy Slim's "In Heaven" just to hear the word "fuck" a hundred times in thirty seconds, and that only made me feel a little better. Even the good stuff was only so-so. I mean damn. And the night after a killer ppv too. Nothing about the issue between Hebner and White. Shane almost made me wish he hadn't come back. Another stupid beatdown for Tazz. Plus they're jerking us around with this main event, and it's bullshit. Nobody believes Big Show-HHH will headline Wrestlemania. There's practically NO back story, so why bother? And I swear the Mae Young shit must have been written by the former Conan writer. Granted, Conan is usually funny, and this angle is anything but. Still, in the proper context (say, sketch comedy, like SNL or Kids in the Hall) a story about a seventysomething-year-old woman who thinks she's been impregnated by a 400-pound Olympic weightlifter and then delivers a... whatever the hell that was... could be funny. But in *wrestling,* where we have to suspend our disbelief so we can pretend there's some reality to it, well, not funny. Kudos to the EMT though. He STOLE THE FUCKING SHOW! And unlike BB, he can, you know, kind of *act*! RAW usually gets me worked up before bed on Monday nights, but in a good way. Thank God for The Daily Show. Looking forward to reading your recap.

Mike Arnold

Subject: raw

Greetings from Pittsburgh..

Can someone please tell me what the fuck they were thinking when they came up with Mae young's hand?



Subject: Gone too Far

I have been a wrestling fan since I can remember and I am 46 tears old, but tonight you went too far. The May Young episode was sickening. You seem to forget or you just don't care that children watch and are highly influenced by what you do. I for one am disgusted and I will never, EVER watch another WWF program and hope others follow my lead.   Some day, whoever is really in charge may find some decency and clean up the WWF programming. I just have one more thing to say. CAN YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROG IS COOKING!!!


Umm, Roger, you DO realise I have NOTHING to do with the shows, right?

Subject: wrestlingobserver

the guys at are a bunch of pussy-ass marks. Their review of this monday's raw was ridiculous and contradictory. They gave it a D, and then called things "awesome" in their point-by-point review. Ooh, the Rock lost. Wah wah wah. Morons.

I remember back to the good old days of november 98 - february 99, when my email name was "Rocky Sucks" instead of my name and now I forget why I changed it. I mean, not really, I do remember, and the Rock is pretty damn amusing when he wants to be, but still.

die rocky die.


Subject: callin the Calvary

Charles L. was only partly correct in his etymology of "cavalry" and "Calvary" ... Calvary doesn't mean "church"; it's the site of the Crucifixion ... which actually might have made sense during the stupid Ministry of Darkness angle. Actually, maybe the WWF mushmouths are foreshadowing a Lance Storm jump from ECW and are trying to learn how to pronounce "Calgary".

Dave Mitchell

Subject: Last Night's RAW

Now before you go be an "I told you so" saying Stephanie Ono broke up DX like Yoko Ono broke up the Beatles, I saw something else.

Last night I saw and injured Billy Gunn try to undermine the authori-tay of HHH and even say he could beat him while injured.
It's clearly a case of HHH establishing his "Alpha" role in DX, notice X-Pac didn't seem to mind and he's been most vocal about Stephanie.

Second, "I Will Remember You"? You gotta be kidding me.
I think "My Hero" by Foo fighters would have been better tribute music for Mick Foley. or "My Way" covered by the Sex Pistols. What's your pick.

And finally, why and Mark Henry and Mae Young produce Thing from the Addams Family? That didn't make any sence and was sick. Still I bet it beat WCW.

Andrew Fitta

Subject: My apologies...


As a loyal reader and former columnist (and now lazy bastard), I want to apologize for the demand we put on your, FORCING you to watch stuff like last night. Both shows were pretty bad...and we had two clean finishes on RAW, one from a guy who never won when he was active and one from a team that hasn't wrestled in a couple of months. Too bad the aPa can't protect us with disclaimers about how stupid the shows are going to be...

Keep up the good work, here's someone who thanks you for wading through the insanity for us,


PS - So, "Bradshaw" is a financial expert...wonder what he did with the WWF stock? "IPO's suck, get it out of here." I just like his comment about wrestlers who can't read...

Subject: Great RAW recap

Of course people will still accuse you of being biased towards the WWF...what can you do?

Greg Klein

Subject: hi

wud up email me


Yo bud, wusshappenin' witchoo

Subject: year in quotes note


Finally got to take a look at the year in quotes. Here's something I found that almost seems eerily psychic considering last night's RAW:

Who is booking this crap? The Rock against Billy Gunn. The Rock against Gangrel. I mean, next week the Rock will be laying the smack down on the Brooklyn Brawler, for Chrissakes.
RAW is WAR 23.8.99

Almost too scary. Thanks for all the hard work.

Tyler Johnson
Northwestern University, Evanston, IL. USA

Several people sent me this. Is it really stealing if you just rip off yourself?

Subject: Hennig


Just wanted to let you know that the street was Hennepin Avenue. Hennepin avenue is famous for being the center of the homosexual population in Minnesota. Keep up the good work.

Myron Ubl

Hey, how do YOU, no, I'm kidding.

Subject: Re: hi

Nothing much here


Wow, great talking with you.

Subject: Mad(den) About You! Starring...CRZ

Dear CRZ:

Any chance of you explaining why you refused to acknowledge Madden's existence this past Nitro? He is obnoxious, he does tend to "sample" pop culture references, and he does jump to conclusions all the time without having a clue.

BUT...He is a pretty damned good color man, and with a few more weeks under his belt he might even be better than Lawler. Did he do something to you, as I have read?


Well....we *do* have "issues," but I really don't want to go into it.

Subject: Raw is War

I read your column all the time and enjoy it very much. I have been following wrestling for a long time and I'm partial to the WWF. However, last nights vignette of Mae Young in labor had to be a new low for WWF television. I still believe that WWF is the best at what they do but on occasion they really make themselves look stupid. Hopefully they will realize this and not do stuff like that in the future. Thanks for letting me vent a little. Long Live Mick Foley.

John Sporrer

Subject: Raw

Hey CRZ,

I was live at the Garden last night with my "RAW IS CRZ" sign, I don't know if I made it on TV though. A few comments about the show:

Crowd chants "Rock E" while Ross pretends to hear "Foley."

It was about 50/50. *I* was chanting "Foley" at any rate.

NOW IS THE TIME ON SPROCKETS WHEN WE DANCE! Hey, I don't care HOW funny this is - IT AIN'T WRESTLING! This could be the FUNNIEST thing I've seen all night and the LOUDEST pop the crowd gives out but STILL, it's....ah, screw it. I'm biased.

I agree with you, but I have to admit that I enjoyed this the most out of anything last night. Eh, the show just wasn't that good.

After some crazy sound effects, the EMT emerges, I STILL don't know what it was. Whatever it was, it DAMN sure wasn't worth this ride. No, I DON'T care. Now let's NEVER hear of Mae Young's "pregnancy" again. Brisco spits up, yay! ALL HAIL SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT!

My friend tried to convince me that most people thought this was hilarious, but all I could think of was what you said of the Undertaker angle last year: THIS WAS THE MOST FUCKING STUPID THING EVER.

Meanwhile, SCREW Foley! The Rock is WALKING! You know, JUST once...just ONCE you could have given us a nice fade to black. Just ONCE. Was that too much to ask? For Foley? Just ONCE? And WHY am I so pissed off tonight?

I was thinking the exact same thing. I tried starting a "Rocky sucks" chant but to no avail.


Michael Piaker

Hey, thanks for trying with the sign...but thanks even MORE for the onsite account!

Subject: WCW


Quick note....When Crowbar says "Souffle", he's actually saying "suplay", which is how many old-school announcers, like Verne Gagne in the AWA, used to pronouce "suplex". I absolutely crack up laughing when Crowbar says that because he is a total old-school mark that I can relate're right, Crowbar announced circles around Schiavone and Fatten....

Scott in Chi-Town

I like your recaps, you're a funny, bitter bastard. I think I know why are you pissed off, you've got your PMS, yes my friend you got PMS or also as Post-Mankind-Symdrome (I don't know how you write the last word)
I was kinda pissed when Mick lost the match, but it's the best for him

keep up the good work


Subject: Raw Recapp

Hi Chris

Good recapp as always. I wanted to share with you some of my observations being live at the MSG show.

I think the loudest pop of the night went to Jericho when he first came out during the Angle match. I thought it was louder then any of the pops Rock got.

The dance segment, as you mentioned, was over huge.

The crowd was SHOCKED that the Rock did not win the main event. You would have heard yourself screaming for joy had you been there, the people were stunned.

Crowd enjoyed jeering Blackman.

In a Dark match Test came out to a good pop. It really baffles me that they did not elevate Test after the wedding. He also gets a good pop for his flying elbow. For a promotion which is able to get Steve Blackman over I think they really missed the boat with Test.

Tazz got a good ovation too. He was over in his hometown. Those cheers quickly turned to apathy as the WWF seems intent on burying Tazz. People around me said he looked like a midget in the ring. I am not going to say that Tazz can't get over. I remember a year ago going to a house show at MSG. The Hardy's were wrestling and NO ONE cared!! Ditto Hardcore Holly. So there is hope for Tazz.

The show was pretty dead most of the time though. Most of the online reviews I have read share that opinion. Most of the blame goes to the WWF for booking a lousy show. Only 2 clean finishes (counting Steve Lombardi!). The audience was also pretty dead unless a star is out, breasts are out or somebody is doing a career ending move. Otherwise there is apathy. It's a shame that no one can appreciate a wrestling match anymore. Or course we really don't know if they would since there were no good matches on the show!

Finally the crowd during the main event was pretty quiet too. I think most people, like myself, were waiting for the run in or the finish. Once the Rock got the Rock Bottom on HHH the place went nuts. I think most fans are smart enough to know the Rock can't beat both the Big Show and HHH. They were waiting for Foley to come in and help the Rock out. Of course no Foley, Rock losses and crowd was pissed! After the lights go out, Rock does get HHH with another elbow, but I don't think that really satisfied anyone.

I see a problem with how the main event at WM is shaping up. We all KNOW the Big Show won't headline....right? So why string this out? This is like when Big Show was the Champion and HHH had just beaten Vince. We all KNEW that HHH would get the title back. So when HHH first tired to, Big Show won. On the second try, HHH won. Poor Big Show, seems like we are always waiting for him to lose!

The problem with this though is that it gets boring. It also makes the Rock look bad, as now he has lost twice. Does he really deserve to go now? If you had planned Rock on maineventing WM they should have just had him go over at No Mercy.

I am looking forward to your Thunder recap. Now I don't have to watch it!!! :)

Dave Hanna

Subject: Your Nitro Recaps!

I watch Nitro every week, but I never miss reading your Nitro Recap. The comments and humor you mix into it always make me laugh. I work nights at a community college in east central Illinois [yes, it's as depressing as it sounds], and I need something to keep my spirits up. You point out the obvious problems and repeated quirks that I see every week and don't give a second though to. Now my girlfriend and I watch Nitro and wait for the commercial breaks. That's when we get to yell, "AND HE'S WALKING!!!"

Keep up the good work, man.


Subject: Yapapa...

Yapapa? You ask me, somebody's been watching too much anime!
Actually that's going to be Prince Iakeau's next gimmick. Dean Malenko was scheduled to be Happosai but he jumped along with Perry Saturn (The Dojo Destroyer) and Chris Benoit (Pantyhose Taro).

Michael Stakely

Subject: frogs falling from the sky

much like the miracle of frogs falling from the sky in Magnolia..... Steve Blackman is interesting now.

he's got it!

how did that Cheese Whiz commercial go?

"cheese whiz has personality! personality!"

is THAT where it came from?

If Steve has cheese then he has personality! get me Kraft on the phone, i think we have a lawsuit on our hands...

but seriously... When the makeshift Snow/Blackman team disintegrates, then what to do with Blackman?

heres my idea..

much like 'the barber shop', 'the heartbreak hotel' 'brother love' and 'pipers pit' - we should give Blackman an interview segment...

why not? lets give the man with the least mic skills an interview segment with no interesting set, call it "the steve blackman show" and have him each week interview, say, Viscera, Mideon or any one of the dark match jobbers.

Steve: hello, and welcome to the Steve Blackman show. Please say hi to Viscera!

Crowd: -----

Steve: hi Viscera!

Viscera: hello

Steve: so, do you like wrestling?

Viscera: yes, i certainly do!

Steve: how long have you been wrestling?

Viscera: i dont know. pretty long, i guess

Steve: thats very interesting. would you like to wrestle?

Viscera: no thank you

Steve: okay. hey, have a mint!

Viscera: mmm... tangy!

Steve: that they are. Hmmm...

Viscera: .....

Steve: ......

Viscera: .....

Steve: its nice out today

Viscera: yep.

Steve: well... bye!

Viscera: bye.

what do you say? I'd watch!

Lik D. Splyt

I think you're a GENIUS!!

Subject: Line o' the night

Gene O. says the Champ has been recommended to refrain from all strenuous physical activity, so I guess no title match tonight...whoops, Sid interrupts...

Oh, man - you missed line of the night. Gene O: "The medical examiners have [pause] examined Sid..." What, and officially pronounced the rest of the show dead??!!

Deb & Sean

Subject: hey MAN !!



I can't let a week go by without one of THESE letters, yo.

Subject: One Last thought on that (nameless guy here) situation

Very apt punishment for The Mark. Sometimes it isn't what you put in about a guy, it's what you leave out.

Jack Shaloo

Who?!? ;-)

Subject: mystery "birth"

actually, the "birth" was a hand in goop. (that's why the "give her a hand" line was just SOOOOO funny).

now if i could just figure out WHAT the "joke" is....


When you figure it out...don't bother to explain it to me. The less we hear about that, the better (and did you notice they did NOT return to it during SmackDown!?)

Subject: Mark?

Hey, you wrote this:

King...I didn't think she was pregnant all along..." Hey Ross, go screw yourself TWICE for me, okay? Jesus. By the way, Ross, just to stave off any mistakes you might make down the road, here's some free advice for you - the BLACK guy is D-VON. Write that down, it might help you call this MATCH.

What's the deal? Why are you dissing the GREATEST Monday Night Sports Entertainment (tm) play-by-play Bell's Palsy sufferer EVER?

You're just an anti-Fed, biased mark for the WXO!

Just kidding, man. I always love your columns. You're easily the best RAW recapper Wrestleline has had all year.... errrr, ever. I meant ever!

Pittsburgh Love,

P.S. I get the impression you're a Kurt Angle fan. I met him at a restaurant in December. He signed a matchbook for me. Wanna have a JPEG of that?

Bring it, dude! We ALL want to see it!

Subject: 'Yapapa' Strap match

I really think the big lug actually said "Yavapi Indian Strap Match"- and the Yavapi are an honest-to-God Indian tribe (I'm pretty sure they're in Arizona, but you can check that out yourself, if you care to). I haven't the faintest clue why their name got attached to the strap match, since I don't ever remember that being part of their culture, but maybe he just wanted to add a name more exotic that "Apache" or "Comanche". Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Chief Jay Strongbow do those same style matches and stick some other tribal appelation on them?


Subject: SID vs. TANK

In the immortal words of the comic book shop owner from The Simpsons: "Worst match ever."


Subject: Well fertheloveofgawd....

Meanwhile, SCREW Foley! The Rock is WALKING! You know, JUST once...just ONCE you could have given us a nice fade to black. Just ONCE. Was that too much to ask? For Foley? Just ONCE?

Amen brother. Amen. Something very special left our little sports-entertainment club and a show that includes that Mae Young bullshit is NOT the show to say goodbye to a (dare I say it?) hero. Jesus Christ...I'm a 30 year old who knows better...and I blubbered like a baby once the retrospective hit the "Peace, Love, and Mick Foley" sign.

But now! The Rock is PACING! Oh fuck you WWF. I'll forgive 'em. But for right now, fuck you WWF.

Chris in Oregon

Subject: faroqes slam on hardy

was there amy serious injury to hardy from the slam of faroque on the ppv sunday?

Didn't seem like it, since Hardy appeared on RAW... Swmunson6

Subject: You suck

could we please get someone that still likes the WCW to review their shows? I know that they are struggling right now, but your reviews are absolutely fucking horrible. Just tell me what happend. Don't tell me how much they suck. I already know.


Umm, sorry.

I guess.

Subject: No Way Out:

A depsicable plea, but a plea nonetheless....

You have a bunch of English writers for /wrestling (a periodical I've enjoyed for many years):

I'm in England:

I really want to get hold of a tape of NWO, since the nasty uni I'm at won't let students have cable.

Could you help (or suggest someone who can)

Matt Stuttle

Somebody hook up poor Matt already! Even if he fibbed about how long he's enjoyed the site (we've only been AROUND for eight months!)

Subject: a comment

Hey, for all the times you rag on Lilian Garcia (who is incredibly hot, and therefore totally blameless for anything)... you keep spelling "Jabroni" wrong. You always spell it with an "e" at the end. I know that you're too cool and too smart to like the Rock, but you should at least spell correctly... and if you don't believe me, look it up in the dictionary.


Yeah, I looked it up - it wasn't there. Dammit! Now I'll NEVER know!

Subject: Mae Young/Mark Henry

I know you are an experienced professional, but prior to your latest Raw report, I also thought you were also a pragmatist as well as someone with a sense of humor...I mean you have always seemed like the columnist of the "smart" fan...but in speaking with the plethora of "average" fans like myself, it has been the hilarity of the Mae Young bit that has convinced many of us that Vinnie Mac should delve next into the Saturday Late Night Comedy genre. If it was just about wrestling, Raw would be in the sub-hades ratings region with WCW. As much as you might hate to admit the obvious, Pro Wrestling is the epitome of the male soap opera (not a new concept obviously) and the Mae Young bit was a smashing conclusion to the Mark Henry sex addiction storyline (which prior in Mae's involvement seemed very un-funny). I can tell from your writing that you enjoy the humor found within your own cynical outlook on wrestling-Where is your appreciation of the really fine comedy writing that went into this superbly conceived, and moderately well-acted storyline?

I can only say that, personally, I have not enjoyed wrestling this much, since Dusty Rhodes turned baby-face down in Florida in the mid-seventies. Now that was sports comedy ahead of its time!

Ray Bewley
Patron of Sports Entertainment

You probably don't enjoy "WCW Saturday Night," either. Your loss!

Subject: New Names

I've got some new names for the recaps

ROCK...The Artist Formerly Known As Rocky Maivia (bwahahah...TM THE CHOSEN ONE)


TAZZ's Tazmission...OompaLoompajime

BENOIT...Krispin Wah

Enough ?


All of those suck.

Subject: Re: New Names

All of those suck.


CRZ La Roca better ? Naaaaaaah



Subject: Re: hey MAN !!



Didn't I already ignore you ONCE this week, already?!?

Subject: (no subject)

hey crz,

I was wondering after reading your scintilating Nitro report that you totally ignored Mark Madden's presence at Nitro. You didn't mention Mark as one of the hosts of Nitro (you only mentioned Schiavone) and also didn't mention that he called the 3 count's song "crappy music" while Symphony played it during the 'stro's match and he always puts the song over. Do I sense a little dissention between you and Mark?


Between me and...WHO?!?

Subject: Emzee column

Well... that was pretty damn good. I stumbled upon my tape of the show not too long ago, and it was truly engaging. It seems hard to believe it's been over 4 years since that all went down. I can say honestly that I suspected it was fake... about a minute or so into it. I was the farthest thing from being "smart" then, but it was just my cynical nature. Still, it was an amazing piece of acting by Michaels (and everyone else, for that matter.) Even more important to the entire concept (to me, anyway) than the 7 seconds of black was when Raw didn't end. It just stopped. No closure, no nothing. Hey, even suspecting it was fake didn't mean I couldn't be concerned, at least a little bit. Not having a voice on commentary trying to explain things played such a big part in that. You had to pull in everything simply based on what you were seeing, nothing more. I know that guys like Ross nowadays are applauded for their ability to tell a match's story just as much as the wrestlers themselves do, but silence is sometimes indeed golden.

I mean, imagine that Mae Young sketch without Ross to comment on it. Go ahead, imagine.

One thing about emzee- you might want to have them fix the "send him feedback" link. Last time I checked, "" doesn't work too well.

BTW, good luck with Thunder. One of my fellow Binos thought up a great way to tackle doing the reports- act like it's the greatest show ever. Oversell the importance of everything, but do it convincingly enough so that people wouldn't suspect you were being sarcastic. That'd be fine for an unknown doing the reports, but I suspect they're on to you.

Essa Rios sucks. Bad. I miss Papi.

Cheers, Dr. Joshua Slade

(-We're doing haiku now-)

Benoit has short arms
Can't even wipe his own ass
Nancy licks it clean

You still rock, Slade.

Subject: WM2K

Here's an idea I have for the main event:

Stephanie is already with multiple H's. Shane has aligned himself with TBS. Vince could come back and hook-up with Cactus. Let Linda pick up the Rock and we have a four-way main event.

Its a way to get everyone back for 'Mania. Plus, the McMahon's could use the wrestlers as pawns in their power struggle. Winner gets control, the wrestler gets the belt.

Of course, Cactus wins and Vince reclaims his position at the top. Foley goes out as champ. Everyone's happy.


Subject: Mae Young's Hand

Regarding that rubber hand the EMT pulled out of Mae of my more perverted coworkers tells me that was a vibrating adult novelty hand.

I don't know if it's sicker that it was embedded wrist deep in Mae, that my coworker knew this so quickly, or that I feel compelled to tell somebody else this. All part of life's rich tapestry, I suppose.

Eric Wilson

The sad thing is I can't come up with a zinger to follow this up!

Subject: Wrestling moment of the century?

How could you forget these other classics:

Papa Shango making the Ultimate Warrior vomit
Barry Horowitz Americanizing Hakushi
Dino Bravo bench pressing 705
Ronnie Garvin dressed in drag
The emergence of the Yeti

I am very disappointed in your selection.


Maybe a followup column for Emzee?


Subject: Nice recaps

CRZ - I am very proud of the way you are handling the Fat-ass' appearances on Nitro. By ignoring him completely is the best revenge, I say. If only we could somehow mute his part of the broadcast. Oh wait, I can do that!!

Pairing Madden and Schiavone has got to be the worst team ever. They are wasting the Brain on Thunder. Oh wait, now you have to watch that too!!

Good luck, man!


I am SHOCKED and DISAPPOINTED that you would all take MY side when I'M only a nowhere, no happening nickel and dime wanna be and HE'S a BIG SIX FIGURE BIG BIG BIG STAR BIG

Subject: (no subject)

Very good debut recap of a sub-par Thunder. Which is tremendous by WCW standards. Keep up the good work.


We'll see...I hear the over/under on me and THUNDER! is four weeks - I'd bet on the over, myself...

Subject: Thunder

Hi Chris

Good recap. I too thought the Wall angle was done very well. I noted they had camera men stationed behind the table to get different shots of the spot. Like you said, they have potential. Now they just need to give the guy a marketable name and a little more character and you may have something here.

I don't get the Buff angle either. At first I thought all of his hitting one women was to confirm DDPs suspicions about him. But, he is always rejected. That does not make you a hero to the 18-34 male demographic. Giving him the Blonde is a good idea. Buff should have a valet, it fits the character (what little character there is though!).

See ya Thursday
Dave Hanna

Subject: Mr. Keith, I presume?


Just got through reading the Thunder recap, and I couldn't help but notice the statement in the prologue about how you were going to do the report for WrestleLine under a pseudonym. It would have only been quite sufficient if you had chosen "Scott Keith" for this. Oh, the boys over at Rantsylvania would of had a few myocardial infarctions over that one. But that was your plan the whole time, right?

David Deuyour

I don't think I could properly imitate Scott...ah, hell, ANY shmuck could probably work up a decent imitation of Scott. ;)

Subject: (no subject)

Nice column, much better than the Bishop one that just popped up.

However did you check out the fact that the watch reappeared on the wrist of continually tanned one? So much for continuity, and so much for that lawsuit that Sonny Ono has out there. You can either say WCW has some nuts or say for a leagal standpoint, what the hell are they thinking.

Also did you count the amount of time that the mikes hadnt been turned off, like when Mean Gene turned around to go back to the women, you herad a what the hell in the background.

And last but not least, why drown out sucks when Daffney is yelling kick his ass loud enough for the floor mics to pick it up.

Keep it up

Brian Shaw

Oh, you can SAY "ass" - but you DAMN well better not say "sucks!"

Good call on the watch!

Subject: The Rock book signing in Toronto

Hey Chris - how's it goin'? Just thought you'd get a scare out of this little bit of knowledge....

I work for a Web Development company in downtown Toronto. Tomorrow, starting at around 1pm, The Rock is doing a book signing at a Chapters book store, which is part of the the building I work in.

As I was heading back from lunch, I noticed they had the barricades all set up outside the store....and there were ALREADY TWO PEOPLE IN LINE!

As much as I wouldn't mind having a wrestling discussion with a guy like The Rock (I can't say I care whether he signs my book or not), this is gettin' just a wee bit scary at how over this guy is. Not to mention that it's about -3 Celcius (about 25 F) outside right now, with a really nasty wind. Good thing the two guys brought blankets.

Yikes, eh? :)


Subject: Droppin' some knowledge.

A reader was kind enough to familiarize me with the nWo's girls after my SuperBrawl recap, so just in case you haven't gotten multiple letters on this already after asking one of their names during Thunder, I figured I'd share my newfound knowledge on the subject. ;-)

Unfortunately, if rumors are true, it seems as if WCW will be phasing out most of their women, so this probably won't matter in a week or two. But what the hell?

First, the somewhat mannish looking redhead who's been MIA recently is April Hunter (website at From what I'm told, she's having payment issues with WCW in that she's expecting money and they're not giving it to her. She is apparently also annoyed because, even though WCW hired her because she's a stripper/nude model/whatever, WCW's legal team is constantly asking that things on her webpage be changed. I guess she had something about the joys of giving and receiving oral sex, among other things, that WCW felt had to go.

The main blonde is Tylene Buck ( She's the one that acted like a secretary for a while and had a clipboard with her. From looking at a website with images of Thunder, it appears she was #2 in the contest last night. She also does a bunch of naked work. Madden did a column somewhere in which he talked about her, so I was able to correctly identify her at SuperBrawl. Go me.

The brunette that was #1 is Midajah O'Hearn ( It seems she's not a nude model, unfortunately. As I mentioned during the SuperBrawl recap, she was on BattleDome a time or two. It turns out she's married to the dude on the Dome that plays Mike O'Dell, one of the warriors.

Girl #3 from the contest was Kim Kanner ( She's a fitness model in the grain of Torrie Wilson and Trish Stratus.

And girl #4, I believe, is Pamela Paulshock ( I wasn't told much about her and her website was under construction when I looked. If she's not a nude model, damn it, she should be.

So there you have it. Occasionally there are a few other random girls, but those 5 are the usual crew. Now go visit those pages and prepare for tomorrow's quiz. ;-)

Chris Jones

As always, Jones, you're the Man.

Subject: Thunder recap

While I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss my weekly dosage of Netcop's oh-so-subtle brand of bitterness while regurgitating Thunder, I thought you did a good job with it. As the case has became with Nitro, I would rather read your take on the product that WCW is churning out rather than wasting my time watching it.



Subject: Thunder Update

Hey CRZ,

Long time no write. Excellent and fair update of Thunder, I like you have been belittling WCW for the past few months but I think for the past 2 or 3 Thunders they have been starting to get their act together. The Wall is actually growing on me and they are starting to use guys that have been buried or not used properly like Fit Finlay. Can't believe how effective Luger is these days as well, his matches have been passable as well.

Is Buff Bagwell really a fudgepacker? I hope he doesn't go to WWF, he will be pushed to the moon, since he can execute favors without sacrificing his orientation.

Take care,

I reckon Buff's straight (not that there's anything wrong with that), but it's funny that BOTH mdb and I managed to sneak in gay jokes independently.

Subject: CLASSIC!


I hope you continue to recap Thunder, because your first recap of the show was classic. When the show really sucks, and really frustrates you, remember, you have fans out there that get a kick out of reading your comments. Classic stuff.

Craig Fierro

Subject: Feedback

Hi -

He RUINED a perfectly good opportunity to write under a pseudonym and pretend to be someone else! Mike, YOU BASTARD!

Anyway, this MAY only be temporary - we'll see how it goes. Your feedback, as >always, is appreciated.

OK -- Yes, you should definitely write this column under an alias.

Always happy to give constructive feedback.


I'm always happy to RECEIVE constructive feedback.

Now, where is it?

Subject: thunder reply

Yo! Sid is WALKING! He asks TERRY TAYLOR if he's "gotten it done." Taylor says yup, and Sid seems ... pleased.

Did you see somebody hiding behind Taylor as Sid walked away?

WORLD CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE: THE ACRONYM (with Paisley) v. CHAVO GUERRERO, JNR Paisley in the ring and distracting referee "Blind" Charles Robinson while passing the Cruiserweight title to her man - belt shot. THEN, he turns around and hands the title to Robinson - errr, brilliant

I think Prince delivered the belt shot to Chavo's mid-section (wtf?) and Chavo sold it as though it was the standard blast to the head. Odd, funny and sad all at once.

DUSTIN RHODES walks to the ring...

I like Dustin's heel voice. It could have been a reasonable segment if it was half as long. Or less.

Tell me something - is Funk the FACE here?

Yes. Why the confusion? The Face is laying the smackdown on the Heel. It's a vicious smackdown but Funk is a vicious Face.

This wasn't that bad.

too long. The setup was too long. The brawl was ok.

Castrol GTX provides a replay of Vampiro jobbing - 'cause we don't see Vampiro job EVERY week - oh, wait, we DO!

Twice a week.


Are you nostalgic for Russo yet?

CROWBAR (with David Flair & Daffney Unger) v. THE WALL During this match I was thinking how everybody ('net commentators) gets down on the Wall. I don't look forward to his matches but
a. He takes bumps
b. He works better than Nash.
so he's not a complete waste of time.




Lockup, side headlock from Flair, powered out, shoulderblock by Flair, off the ropes, leapfrog, drop toehold by Bagwell, going to put on the figure four - aww, man, Flair has to HELP HIM put it on??

Yikes, that looked bad.

Bagwell hits the Buff Blockbuster (sorta)

What was wrong with Buff? One blown move after another.

Anyway, like you said the show wasn't THAT bad. Maybe they hit bottom a week or two ago. At least there weren't any hands crawling out of gential areas...

Arthur Kimes

Subject: Yo Joe!

I was right there with you on the GI Joe reference.
I bet you (like myself) did the push-ups that Slaughter ordered when you bought your Sgt. Slaughter figure over the phone with GI Joe Proofs-of-Purchase.
Great recap. I didn't see it, but I feel like I didn't miss anything after reading the recap.
Keep up the good work.

Shane Mauck
Mt. Airy, NC

Subject: Hbombs

Am I the only one who wants to get a pair of Hbombs? I'll bet if they started making the shoe, they might sell a whole bunch of em.


I keep waiting for one of the Harris Brothers to spontaneously combust!

once again crz you completely overeaggerated a table spot. when Kane chokeslammed d-von through the table it was pathetic. D-Von got no airtime whatsoever. it was a 2 foot fall through a precut table. o well props to u for marking out for Sarge. I may go to the april 3rd nitro in worcester (God help me) If I do, look for A CRZ is GOD and promos for slash wrestling.

biggest critic

Subject: your recaps kick ass!!!

hey there, I just wanted to tell ya that I love your recaps, even though it seems that others think you suck. But does it matter what I think? Anyways, I just needed to bitch - is there anyone else who is SICK AND TIRED of Triple H and Steph the Slut? I cringe whenever she gets within ten yards of a micrphone. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I wish that Vince were back (and Taker too). I'm done ranting, I feel better now.

Gam Bepko


Subject: Kings Court!!

That talkative woman that was out on a date with Steve "Lethal Weapon"Blackman was Marissa Mazzola Shane O'Mac's wife.Whassup with that? And also since when have the Kings been good anyway.They were always bad except in Kansas City.

I smelllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the manure in cowtown.
Peace Out

Don"If i see another H bomb promo I will smoke a cigar" Cornelius

I've seen Marissa like TWICE, so hopefully I can be forgiven for failing to ID her. ;-)

Subject: XFL

Dear CEO,
Could we know the lineup of the new XLF? In the meantime I will catch the movie "Beyond the Mat"; keep watching WWF Monday night, Smackdown Thursday night, Livewire on Saturday morning, when I'm not working my data entry job, Jakked Saturday night, WWF 10:00 am Sunday morning and Heat at night!!

Our local broadcasting station UPN 23 has given away many tickets for March 8, 2000. I was pleasantly suprised to see my name on the screen that I had won a pair of WWF tickets at the new beautiful Conseco Fieldhouse. Do you think I could go backstage and see The Rock and Rikisi Patu in their dressing rooms?? I even took March 9th off, Diviersity Day so I can stay up all night. By the way, who am I writing to??

God Bless You, Respectfully,
Linda K.

You're writing to a guy who has NO PATIENCE with WebTV users, Linda.

Subject: (no subject)

Kings suck! Sixers rule!


Hey, thanks for contributing!

Subject: SmackDown report - 2 March, 2000

Another entertaining report. Fortunately for the WWF, the show itself was every bit as entertaining as your recap. That's what happens when they leave Mae Young off the booking sheets.

You closed with:

...two minutes early, so we can take a special look at "Secret Agent Man," aka "Contrived Sexual Situations Set Against a Backdrop of a Poor Man's James Bond and It's Also an Empty Remake of An Old Show." How come none of 'em are named Drake? Or was I not paying attention? Or am I thinking of a different show? Oh, who CARES. Right? See you Tuesday!

I CARE! Patrick McGoohan probably wouldn't appreciate it, but I'm impressed anytime someone combines pro wrestling and John Drake in the same column! Ah, the old classic Secret Agent (aka Danger Man) show. I thought you'd be too young to remember it. This new show better not have anyone named Drake ... the real Drake used his brains and occasionally his body, not guns or explosives or bimbo-ish women. This new show will probably be declared "Unmutual" very quickly. Speaking of "unmutual," McGoohan and old classics, The Prisoner absolutely ruled!

Be seeing you,


Are you as worried about the upcoming "Prisoner" movie as I am?

That's it - SEE YA!!

Christopher Robin Zimmerman
[slash] wrestling


Last week's letters

Copyright (C) 2000 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications