I Get Letters
Subject: getting to know you
i saw you under wrestling and would like to learn more aboute you. my dad wont let me watch wrestling anymore. my name is jon. please e-mail me at (address removed)
Figured I'd toss this over to use since we don't normally use goofy nicknames on our site: In light of Russo's superhuman ability to withstand the figure four and the fact that he's undefeated in his matches, you might consider dubbing him In-Vince-ible Russo. Just a thought.
I hate WCW. I wish there were no such thing.
So if T & A dump Test, and keep Val Venis and the Dudleys hook up with them, would they then be called DVDA?
Subject: Test n' Val n' Albert
...are clearly TV-A, or the TV Council People's rating for Adult shows. How responsible of the WWF to add that extra little reminder!
What's that, a Canadian joke? Bah!
Subject: Miscellaneous garbage
Do you still, by any chance, have the e-mail address of the guy who mailed you at the top of your "Nitro 2 years ago" recap? If so, reply, quote him, and see if it's still WCW 4 Life, eh?
Oh yeah, I feel kinda dumb for asking, but I've gotta find out somewhere. You tend to refer to the Rock as La Roca. In "Have a Nice Day," Foley talked about an Indy fed that had a ripoff wrestler named the Fabulous LaRocca. So, uh, who was the original dude?
Heck if I know - I just call him "La Roca" because that's what they called him on Los SuperAstros.
Subject: several random thoughts
Just a couple of thoughts for whatever they are worth. I love your recaps and read them all the time to start with. I totally agree that the longer matches and clean finishes make the WWF a better product. WCW may be improving but I find it funny that Russo seems to be recycling things that the WWF did about a year ago. Didn't the Undertaker and Kane do the fire match thing about a year ago?
I don't know if you know of a way to send ideas to the WWF powers that be but I had a thought for an angle and all of the pieces are already in place for it so they may be going that way anyhow. Since Lita is apparently going to work with the Hardy's, and Chyna and Lita already "don't like each other" that sets the stage for some great Eddie and Essa v. Hardy Boyz matches. Let me know what you think.
Speaking of Lita shouldn't she be a valid contender for the WWF women's title? Stephanie has held that little trinket for far too long.
Like I said just a few random thoughts. You keep writing the recaps and I'll keep reading them.
Looks like they beat you to the punch on SmackDown! Wonder if Lita will continue to pursue the title or if they'll just drop it? And when will she hook up with the Hardys, anyway? Gotta be soon...right? Hell, if this were WCW, she'd have already turned on them in AN AMAZING SWERVE!!
Subject: Other names for Stratus' group
I always thought a woman like Terri or Trish should collect a bunch of pretty boy wrestlers (say Edge/Christian/Matt/Jeff) and call them "A Bevy of Beautiful Boys" - but I digress.
For Trish - how about VAT (Value Added Tax)? -- It's a british thing.
I like the Valley Transit Authority
I like VAT - the VTA is more a Silicon Valley thing...
Subject: Nash's gimmick?
For what it's worth, after several unnecessary moments of thinking, I finally figured out that the gimmick Nash was babbling about refers to a comment made by Sting a few weeks ago. Sting said something about Nash always being late and that being his gimmick. Entirely too random, and it made me think that Nash was going back to the Commissioner Gordon schtick.
Subject: Hi! About Kimberly......
Do you really think Kimberly is that bad of an actor? She's pretty good...in sports entertainment standards. I mean, she's better than Stephanie McMahon, but I don't see anyone in Wrestleline complain about her. She does not play a convincing heel at all. As a matter of fact, she never convinced me that what she was doing was PARTIALLY real, especially during her little stint with Test. Now, Kimberly - that's a first class b*tch she's playing! She does what all sports-entertaining heels SHOULD do: act snobby, obnoxious, and play with the crowd. She's gotten a lot better, don't you think? Come on, take this into consideration, won't ya? hehe.
Well, *I* complain about Stephanie, but apparently not enough for anybody to notice.
Subject: (no subject)
O. K. LET ME GET THIS OUT OF THE WAY FIRST, I LOVE WRESTLELINE AND ALL OF THE INTERVIEWS AND COLUMNS AND MOST OF YOUR OPINIONS, BUT I THINK ALL OF YOU TAKE YOURSELVES WAY TO SERIOUSLY. YOU ALL TALK ABOUT WRESTLING BEFORE SMASH T.V BUT YOU COME OFF LIKE YOU JUST STARTED WATCHING IT LIKE 3 YEARS AGO, YOUR ALL MARKS FOR THE WWF. I'VE BEEN WATCHING BOTH WWF AND WCW FOR ALL OF MY SHORT LIFE, I LOVE THEM BOTH .(I WON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT ECW BECAUSE ALTHOUGH THEY DID HELP REJUVENATE WRESTLING THEY ARE STILL GARBAGE.) EVERY WEEK YOU ALL TRASH NITRO AND PRAISE RAW, AND IF YOUR DOING THE OPPOSITE NITRO STILL GETS LOWER SCORES. I DON'T GET IT. I WATCH BOTH SHOWS EVERY WEEK AND FOR THE LAST 4 MONTHS I'VE LIKED WHAT WCW HAS BEEN DOING EVEN THROUGH THE SULLIVAN FIASCO, NOT BECAUSE THEY WERE A BETTER SHOW BUT BECAUSE THEY WERE DOING SOMETHING DIFFERENT, I MEAN REALLY HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SEE HHH OR THE ROCK OR UNDERTAKER IN THE MAIN EVENT, WWF HAS SO MUCH TALENT RIGHT NOW BUT THEY DO THE SAME THING EVERY WEEK. THE BEST RAW I'VE SEEN RECENTLY WAS THE ONE WHERE JERICHO WAS THE STAR. AND YOU GUYS SAID IT WAS AN OFF DAY. "IT WAS A STRONG SHOWING EVEN WITHOUT THE ROCK," BULLSHIT! IT WAS A KILLER SHOW THAT DIDN'T NEED THE ROCK. IT WAS ONE OF THE BEST RAWS' I'VE SEEN SINCE RAW STARTED, EVERY WEEK YOU SAY THE SAME SHIT ABOUT BOTH SHOWS BUT YOUR SCORES NEVER FALTER. TODAY BEING TUESDAY LAST NIGHTS BATTLE BETWEEN RAW AND NITRO WAS A GOOD ONE BUT NO WAY WAS RAW A BETTER SHOW. WCW HAD KILLER MATCHES AND KILLER ENDINGS I'D FLIP TO RAW ON WCW COMMERCIALS. I KNOW I'M A MINORITY AND MAYBE I'M JUST A BIG WCW MARK, BUT YOU GUYS ARE SO OBSESSED WITH WWF THAT YOU CAN'T GIVE CREDIT TO WHAT WCW IS DOING. YOU MAY RIGHT THAT THEY ARE GETTING BETTER, BUT NONE OF YOU HAS SAID THAT THEY ARE BETTER, MAYBE NOT BETTER THAN THE WWF'S RATINGS, BUT BETTER THAN WCW'S EVER BEEN, EVEN BEFORE THE FORMATION OF THE ORIGINAL NWO. YOU GUYS ARE ALL JUMPING ON THE BANDWAGON AND GETTING CAUGHT IN THE HYPE, I LOVED WRESTLING BEFORE IT WAS COOL, TO PARAPHRASE SHAWN MIKE, GIVE ME STING BEATING JARRETT AND THE CROWD EXPLODING, FLAIR AND RUSSO IN A BLOODY MESS AT THE BOTTOM OF A CAGE, GOLDBERGS' RETURN AND QUICK DECIMATION OF TANK ABBOT,( YOU ALL WANTED THAT FEUD ENDED QUICKLY BUT WHEN IT WAS YOU SAID IT WAS ANTICLIMACTIC, DID YOU REALLY WANNA SEE TANK GIVE GOLDBERG A HARD TIME? COME ON NOW), BUT ANYWAYZ GIVE ANY OF THOSE THINGS OVER HHH VS. THE ROCK,UNDERTAKER, KANE OR EVEN "STONE COLD" ANY DAY. JERICHO VS. ROCK FOR WWF CHAMPIONSHIP THAT WOULD BE REFRESHING, ADD SOME MORE CONTENDERS TO THAT WORLD TITLE AND BRING SOME VARIETY THEN YOU CAN SAY RAW WAS A BETTER SHOW, BUT SAYING THAT NOW IS LIKE SAYING VANILLA ICE CREAM TASTES BETTER EVERY TIME YOU EAT IT, IT'S THE SAME SHIT JUST A DIFFERENT DAY.
ALWAYS A FAN,
If anyboy actually got to the end of this letter, could you please write and let me know what he was shouting about? He Cc:'d everybody at WrestleLine - I'm guessing NONE of them wrote back...
i don't get to watch much of nitro but maybe a little bit of the 1st hour...but did goldberg wrestle tank or what? or was it another clusterfrick?
WILLIAM BB DEARTH
It was pretty much a squash - if you blinked, you missed it.
Subject: Hi Again
Sorry about all the crazyness with the show last time. Hockey has no business being on our station, but who am I to say. ANyway, Bill and I were hoping you were free on June 22nd, same time 6:45 CT. There is no hockey, and it will just be us. Let me know if that is ok!
Once again it's on for Racine! WJ...WJ...hell, I forgot the call letters. Let me go check. WJRN! OK!
Subject: about Monday Nitro....
actually this isnt about Nitro. I was wondering what you think about the Sacramento Kings' upcoming season. Do you think they will be contenders? or do you think they will choke at mid-season again?
I expect that, unless they can dump some of the high-priced low-producers and get ONE more quality starter, they'll crap out in the first round of the playoffs like they always do...
What, your not impartial?!!? OIC, you were being sarcastic....u know u should be a writer for WCW , lord knows the program would be funny then.....
Subject: Raw Report
Hey CRZ. I was just reading your Raw Report and even though you were so happy about it, I thought I'd inform you, from one Concentric employee to another, that technically Kurt Angle was not the legal man for his team and thereby the legal man for one team did not pin the legal man for the other team. If I remember correctly, Kurt came into the ring while Edge did the heel "clap-my-hands-really-loud-in-the-air-instead-of-tagging-my-partner-even-tho ugh-I-could've-just-tagged-my-partner-instead" move, thereby letting Kurt Angle in the ring illegally and so he was NOT the legal man in the ring. Sorry to ruin your high, but thought you should know. Sorry man.
Well, there's legal and then there's legal...you know?
Subject: Hancock & Smith?
Pretty good reports this week. It's pretty damn funny to see what gets you excited about Raw. Not that I don't like the tag matches to follow the rules (re:legal men), but it's make the freakin' night for you. Heh.
I used to think that the worse Nitro got, the funnier your report would get and, while it was still great, it seems that Nitro has gotten so bad, it's not really that funny how bad you think it is. Sad, really.
Finally, what's the deal with two mentions of Kevin Smith productions (Mallrats and Clerks: TAS) when Ms. Hancock came out? I can usually pick up most of your references but that one flew right over my head. Then again, it could have been just a coincidence . . .
Nitro has been getting better lately, at least to me. Yeah, the production isn't top notch but it also has been getting better lately. To bad about GI BRO that is pretty stupid. I would like to see BOOKA in the main events one day.
What do YOU think the big surprise is at the GAB? Me and a few other people say it's ROCK-E hey if the Rock leaves the WWF won't you just love the WWF even more now. Cuz you dislike the rock ... don't you?
If you really dislike Nitro so much and hey some things aren't for everyone ... why keep doing the damn reports. Why not give it to someone else? Just curious.
Hey Paul, this is like the fourth or fifth time I've put a letter from you on one of these pages. I'm pretty sure that by now, you should have stopped reading my damn reports!
Subject: hey crz
dude why don't you let somebody else recap the shows because you are way to biased toward wwf you said it ruled this monday dude it's been the same shit for months why dont you read some other critics once and a while to get some ideas how to be a real wrestling writer cause frankly you SUCK! COCK
Please tell me how reading other critics will change the way I personally feel about a show. That doesn't make sense!
Subject: I noticed...
During the "segment clusterfuck" on Nitro, we see Mike Awesome calmly stroll by Terry Funk pushing Bischoff in a wheelbarrow. That's right, Awesome does nothing. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't Awesome and Bischoff on the same team?? Wouldn't he stop to help his boss? Couldn't this have been easily avoided by simply making these 2 segments TWO SEPERATE SEGMENTS?? I guess it all starts with logic.
Also, since you also seem to enjoy pointing out the myriad mistakes Lillian makes, I noticed that before the triple threat match, she introduced Undertaker "at a total combined weight..." Did he eat Joe C or something?
Subject: Wrestleline Competition Or Sign of the Apocalypse?
Really enjoy reading your stuff. I worked almost a year in Mexico, and I couldn't get the USA Network. Reading your RAW reports was the only way I could enjoy the WWF. Good stuff. Thanks.
Check out this website on AltaVista http://live.altavista.com/scripts/editorial.dll?efi=878&ei=1870965&ern=y. Pro wrestling continues to get into the mainstream. I think this competitive website means that WrestleLine needs to advertise more to Joe Web Surfer.
Keep up the good work.
Subject: Some Praise & Some A Rasslin' Tidbit Fer Ya
You are the king of guys, man. Well, you're the king of wrestling columnists/reporters/reviewers/journalists anyway. The king of guys is actually Jack Nicholson, but you're purty swell too.
I read your stuff religiously, primarily because there might be something (errors, spoken words, neat coincidences, etc.) I missed that you caught. [See, I'm almost as observant about screw-ups as you are.] The dull thing about my loyalty to your writing is that I agree with just about everything you say. So I guess I can't debate you because we'd just end up agreeing anyway. As Homer would say, borrrring.
Hell, I think the only person who dislikes Russo more than me is you. Luckily we don't get Nitro here in Canada until TSN shows it at midnight on Tuesday (but the flip side to that is we don't get Smackdown! either). But rest assured that the ol' VCR does NOT get set for channel 32 at 11:59 p.m. every Tuesday in this house! The good things WCW has, they frick up. But you knew that. You're a busy man and I oughta get down to bid-ness...
So apart from inflating your head, I'm e-mailing you to pass on a technical glitch on RAW that you didn't point out. In the introductions to the Rock/Undertaker/Kane match, Lilian Garcia (who's undoubtedly theeeee worst ring announcer ever) described the Undertaker's weight as being "at a total combined weight". Huh? Is he a tag team unto himself? Or did the weight measuring guys (who must have a helluva time getting surly guys like Kane and Undertaker on the scales in the first place) individually weigh his feet and arms and torso and whatnot? This is the kind of stupid Lilian Garcia error you usually point out, but in case you didn't notice it, I thought you just HAD to know (insert sarcasm right here).
So keep up the cynical, hilarious, in-depth, ultra-detailed work. Cuz when the day comes that I don't agree with you, I'm sure to still laugh at you. Or is that, laugh WITH you? What the hell ever. I'm sure you catch my damn drift!
Hell, Garcia screws up SO MUCH that one's BOUND to get by, right? :)
What's with the Kevin Smith references when Miss Handcock appears? I don't get it!
Okay, here we go. The Mark likes to say "Snootchie Bootchies" whenever she walks out - I'm not sure he has any idea what that means, but I can only assume he's a big Kevin Smith fan. Well, he's big, anyway. REALLY BIG!
Subject: backstage scenery
Is it just me or does the NB room setup look like my grandmothers living room? maybe if they got some nice flowered wallpaper and a candy dish it would be more effecive!!!!
Subject: nitro sound fx 6/5/00
Was it just me or was everytime Sting's bat used there was a Hollywood sound effect as if something out of a movie with a fight scene. Watch it again & tell me I'm wrong. At first, I thought it was the ring mic's turned up too high but every time someone hit the mat it was practically silent. I just don't get it and think it was about half-retarded. Oh well, What'd I expect anyways?
I think they actually tried to use a mic IN the bat - you mean it didn't have the intended effect? Go figure! Must be WCW! ;-)
Subject: (no subject)
How many blow jobs do you the mcmahons a day? Or do you you just take it the ass?
Come on, AT LEAST be grammatically correct if you're gonna TRY to flame me.
Subject: 'Ross stole my line!'
Been reading your stuff for a couple of years now, even when I'm boycotting my favorite promotion (for whatever they may have done to hack me off) still read the recaps, your the greatest blah, blah, blah.
I'm just about the biggest Flair mark there is out here and I've been stealing that line for a long time. I just about wrote you when you remarked a couple of months ago about the 'one year anniversary' of Flair hitting that double axe-handle. My wife just couldn't understand my laughter last night when Ross said that.
'Ehhh, Thats good work there boys'
Subject: the big 3
yes I was wondering other than ECw, WCW, WWF is there any other big promotions that maybe on their way up. Such as XPW. So would XPW be in the big 4? Also how does XPW manage to have Shane Douglas and Chris Candido wrestle when they are under contract with WCW? Slso do you have any idea on the big suprise and I was at Nitro live last ngiht and I was also at Raw in NC and I thought Nitro was much more entertaining. If flows much quicker.
Thankks for your time
XPW **SUCKS**. Of course, that shouldn't stop them from being successful, right?
Subject: The figure four is useless!
Think of all the talent that's tapped out to the figure four over the years. Now, imagine Vince Russo NOT tapping out. Wow. I'm from New York. Does that instantly make me tough too? I want my title shot now!
You are the biggest WWF 'Mark' I have ever read. Is Vince paying you or what?? Raw sucks, you have something in common with the show.
Vince isn't paying me ENOUGH, God dammit!
Subject: Lilian Garcia on June 4th
Hey Wussup CRZ! I just wanted to let you know that on last night's RAW, Lilian got the name of the Hardy's hometown wrong. If you watch the beggining of the match, you can see the looks on their faces.
Subject: "farm club jam"
not that i'm a dirty, filthy, sleazy music pirate or nothin', but if you hit the napster servers, you'll find a file called "farm club freestyle" by eminem that should be to your liking. small download, too. of course, i'm probably the 5 millionth person who's emailed you about this today, but hey, at least i didn't attach the mp3, right?
p.s. liked the "walker" recap at the beginning of the raw recap. you SURE you don't want to recap "walker" for my web site? =)
(putting it on there, since i forget if i have it in my sig. :P)
I get to hear that song EVERY FREAKIN' MONDAY. I don't think I need to download it...
Subject: nitro reports
Hey I feel your pain concerning Monday Nitro. I only watch the replays of it because I have that little to do on a Monday night. If you're that tired of it, I'll write up the Nitro reports for you because all I can do is laugh at how pathetic the show has become.
OK, when can you start? I bet you get tired of it in...one week!
I think you so wrong about the Undertaker and WWF. Your reports are one sided,cruel and hateful. Bill Apter hit it on the head about about those stupid "smart fans" you should read it. How do you enjoy wrestling?, the Undertaker has work his ass off for past 9 years risking his life, heatlh and career he's no bum. His storylines has always kept me watching and in every big match (except for Hell in the Cell 3)he has help put people over like Mankind! . If it was'nt for the WWF no one would watch wrestling. Just give thanks ,enjoy the the show and give a fare report! check out myhomepage
PRINCE OF DARKNESS AKA JAVIER
What the hell did I say about Undertaker? By the way, your page SUCKS.
Subject: !~Why so easy on WCW??
Hi, I'm a frequent reader of your recaps and usually like them. I have a question though: Why are you so obsessed with being objective? I'm talking about the way you constantly feel the need to cater to the 4 or so remaining WCW fans. Just make fun of WCW freely and enjoy it like most of us fans do instead of pulling punches and dancing around idiotic Russo fiascos.
Thanks for reading.
First off, I would like to say that I normally don't mind your biased recaps. You every right to cut on WCW, just as I have every right to express my opinion that the WWF sucks. And your recaps are frikkin hilarious, anyway. However, your recap of the June 5 nitro really pissed me off. I don't care that you gave an admittedly "half-assed" attempt--I'm sure that writing those things gets old. But you completely ripped apart EVERY SINGLE THING on the show, and then you whined some more between paragraphs. As much as I hate the WWF, at least I give them credit when I think something is done well. The entire wrestleline site has become ridiculous--why not just call it "bashwcwwhilekissingthewwfsass.com?" The visit I made to wrestleline to get your address was my last. 1wrestling is looking pretty good...
p.s. Tell your little friends to stop having orgasms whenever Benoit comes out. He is the most boring man in pro wrestling (bar Luger) and will never get over with the casual fans (myself included).
I can't affect the way other people write any more than they affect me...right? I like Benoit, but "orgasms" is a bit much. If you REALLY like 1wrestling...well, you get what you deserve, I guess.
Subject: Re: Nitro BOOKING
I have watched WCW, regardless of how insipid and banal the booking, through Uncensored, and even attended Slamboree live. But this is where I DRAW THE LINE. Last night on Nitro Vinnie Ru (Oh you didn't know? You're a heel, Russo Dog!) tried to get cheap heat in Georgia by threatening newly demoted AAA also-ran John Rocker. Now if I remember my booking right, heel threatens heel= face turn. So basically John Rocker is perceived as a face in WCW. I realize they were in Ratlanta, but this is supposedly more conducive to family entertainment. I don't know about you, but on a list of people I wouldn't want my kids to admire, Rocker'd probably be on top. I guess the next step would be to have a KKK group ward off R&B security. Or A neo-Nazi packaged worker try to take out Goldberg. This angle needs to end PRONTO or I will be one less viewer.
Thanks for reading. Good report.
This might be just me...but I THINK you're overreacting.
Hey great job with the raw and nitro reports on wrestleline. I can never see the shows on Monday and have searched the web for reports and yours is the most detailed and entertaining. i especially appreciate the transcription of dialouge. I do habe one question regarding terminology: What happens when someone's trick knee acts up? It seems to be a good thing. Thanks
The trick knee is when it suddenly flinches backwards between the legs of your opponent, causing his jimmy to get bruised. I stole this line from the legend, Bobby Heenan.
Subject: Really getting sick of "swerves"
EVERY FUCKING WEEK. But it's not the swerves themselves, it's the announcers shouting "What a SWERVE! SWERVE! ANGUS McSWERVE! EL SWERVE-O! SWEEEEEEEEEERVE! WE WERE SWERVED BY LORD SWERVITY! FOR THE LOVE OF SWERVE! SWERVE!"
You know what would be a swerve? If they could trick people into *buying* tickets to the show, instead of comp'ing 2/3 of the audience.
Hey, you're giving blowjobs to McMahon, aren't you. Or maybe you just like taking it up the ass! BIAS! BIAS! BIAS!!!!!
Subject: Re: hey crz
hey i apoligize for my rude e-mail i was out of line the cock comment was totally un called for and after a few shots at the bar and sex with my girlfriend I was realize that your only voicing your opinions and if i dont like them i have the option of not reading your recaps. I mean your writing for a major internet wrestling site and im just a regular joe from Indiania at the time i read your recap i was angry and you know how us die hard fanatics can be really passionate about are love for the sport we can be really protective and i apoligize again. i must suggest that maybe you should reconize wcw,s strenghts as well as their weaknesses you must respect some fans that read your column wcw is still not great but it is better later P.s i know you get rude e mails a lot but heres an apoligie for you something you might not get very often
later keep up the good work, mark
Thing is, I can't tell if he's being serious or not. I guess anybody who can't use capital letters probably isn't smart enough to grasp the use of sarcasm, so I have to assume he means it? Hey, if YOU can get a girl, that should give everyone else hope...right?
Subject: It's all Jimmy Baron's fault.
Think about it. If they had scrapped the lousy road report angles years ago, back when "Sara" Lee Marshall did them while everybody at home went to take a piss, then WCW may have never started a relationship with David Arquette through those damn 1-800-callATT of 1-800-collect comercials (forgive me for not remembering which one it is, but I was taking a piss).
On the bright side, showing the same damn 1-800-whatever video segment every freaking week does have positives for WCW. It's well edited and produced compared to the other prerecorded crap the promotion botches on a regular basis, and it adds continuity to an otherwise lacking product. I don't know about you, my friend, but when Baron and that broad hit the tube, I know it's time to hit toilet.
AND, let's face it, Baron is one of WCW's top 5 promos. Week in and week out he sells his angle convincingly. I mean, unlike other WCW stars when they've got the stick, I believe him when he says Nitro is going to be here and Thunder is going to be there and, GET THIS, that PLENTY OF GOOD SEATS ARE STILL AVAILABLE.
Just a question before I go: How many collect calling minutes could one purchase with $60 MILLION?
PS - Vote Jimmy Baron for the Wrestleline WCW Top 10!
Jimmy Barron is like Todd Pettengill without the personality.
Subject: PICK ME THIS TIME!!! COME ON MAN!!!
You know what WCW really needs? Realism. It's too contrived....even fake. Take for instance....the red stuff that falls from the ceiling. I mean...COME ON! Are we to believe that, when this stuff falls from the ceiling, that not ONE guy out there doesn't feel like going bonkers and telepathically closing every door in the building and bringing the house down on everybody inside? It's only natural to feel that way, you know.
Subject: Corporation X
I'm so glad you reminded those not in your target audience that you aren't impartial. I'm sure some were beginning to wonder if you have, well never mind that.
I like the new style of recapping Nitro. Not only do you rip the bad ideas on the show, but now you interject negativity that has nothing to do with the show. At first the names and bias were enough, but clearly you've taken it to another level by carefully selecting negative comments from fans who don't have the balls to say they paid for the tickets. Although, it must have been hard not to rip on their attendance and crowd response. (that's the best of the recap, even though the crowd pops, you can still slam it and act like it never happened, cool.) I'm sure they can't have too many more like that, since they are going under like you say. And people shouldn't pay any attention to the ratings. So what if Nitro and Thunder have raised their ratings. What's important is that the WWF stay at 6! Why do people insist on calling that a plateau, just because they haven't hit 7 consistently?
Close one, we nearly had a Raw Main Event there. Luckily Corporation X got out there in time. I'm worried you don't make enough noise about Mr. McMahon reeducating his audience. I mean, people should know that a main event that's goes 8 to 10 minutes, then is blown off is COMPLETELY different from an undercard teaser match that gets blown off. Duh. While he is at it, he can explain to all the fans how Dean Malenko does those nice flips while in Guerrero's arms. I mean, thank god no one knows that's impossible to actually pull off. They do a great job of hiding those pesky wrestling inconsistencies, and so do you.
I can't wait for the PPV. People say its gonna be like Mania, but they are dumb. Look, there are 2 different wrestlers who won't be winning. Why can't people get that?
And why do WCW marks say that Jericho isn't moving up? He is tagging with cool guys. Its not like they put him on the shelf, he's out there, kinda.
Thanks for not mentioning the trouble McMahon might be in for using his public offering as start up funds for the XFL. Considering there was no mention at the offering, its only a matter of time before the SEC pays him a visit. Thank god we won't have to read about that, or the money they'll be losing from that league in your columns. Oops, sorry, I keep forgetting that yours is not a column, its just hard to tell sometimes. By the look of it, so do you.
Blah blah blah, you're as bad as Paul up there and you right just about as often. MONTH after MONTH you send me whiny emails, yet...YOU KEEP READING. By the way, the WWFE prospectus clearly states that the funds raised will be used, in part, on new ventures. If you can't figure out that that's EXACTLY what the XFL is, you may wish to stick to SCOOPS.
Subject: damn thats bad
Just wanted to let u know I happened by wrestleline, decided to read ur report for Nitro and Raw, and man u suck. Easily the worst peice of literary crap i've ever read. I hope the 10 bucks they pay u is worth it to them. Oh by the way, did u ever take writing lessons?? Wait..dont answer that i know the answer. Please leave that web site so i can go back there again.
U ruined my opinion of hack wrestling reporters, which was bad enough as it was. Anddddddddddddddddddd.........
Tommy "t2k" Krantz
U R so right - I wish I could write good like U.
Subject: Broken Noses
That knee drop to Russo's face looked damn close to a broken nose. ...And either Russo can sell it great (by checking it for blood several times in the following few moments) or he got a real close brush. I'm glad that you brought that part up, since it was within the six minutes (of commercial time for Raw) that I viewed.
My take/question on Goldberg saving WCW is this:
I remember a time when Goldberg was the Champ, and while he still got the chant and the pop when he came out, they had his championship matches on about three quarters of the way through the shows, not headlining. To me, this says that his championship matches aren't expected to bring the house down, or that people are either getting tired of his schtick or at very least are becoming too used to him winning to pay much attention to his matches.
If/when Flair retires, and WCW relies solely on Goldberg to save the company, how long do you think they (WCW) will last? They are having trouble staying afloat as it is, and they have both Flair and Goldberg. Is Coldy going to be as big a draw six months from now as he is right now?
Jeffrey M Oswald
He's not much of a draw now! (sadly)
Subject: RE: The New Man
Do you think they are really going to "turn" him soon? It seems what all the smarts are saying...though I can't see anyone else to be a top level heel. Chris Jericho is just too well liked; Benoit is good, but I like him better as the "underdog" type babyface, much as he was at the end of his run in WCW; I don't know if the Undertaker can be a top heel anymore; seems like the Rock would be the most obvious choice, though I don't know how they could pull it off properly.
One problem I noticed on RAW was that they were trying to gauge how the crowd reacted to McMahon vs. HHH interview, and McMahon was getting the babyface heat, which I guess is understandable since HHH has been a great "asshole" for a long while now. Seems like they're trying to build to something big though, which is good b/c the "regime" is starting to get old.
P.S. - It was an insult that Russo didn't submit to the figure four. I was giving him props for taking the chops like a man (as some wrestlers are afraid to take chops like that), and 5 minutes later he's an iron man in the figure four. Made Flair look bad (if that's even possible). I don't know why Russo and Bischoff insist on putting themselves over the workers.
The Rick actually did a pretty good job this week talking speculative about a Triple H face turn. I'm with him; they COULD do it, but they better wait until WAY down the road. He's all alone at the top, and there's no heel to take his place just yet.
Subject: It's your fault
Your referencing the Hollywood Squares made me spill my coffee at work.
Geez, Greg, that's pretty weak. I hope your coffee was stronger!
Subject: WHAT A DUMB ASS REPORTER
WHAT KIND OF REPORTER WAS AT NITRO? IT TOOK ME THREE READINGS TO UNDERSTAND ANY OF IT. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK?
Johns, Charles, MSG, MA, 143AW
And...you're defending our country?
Subject: HEEL TURN
"Oh yeah...let me tick these off before YOU get ticked off...I'm not a journalist, I'm not objective, I'm not impartial, and don't you DARE think I'm supposed to even INSINUATE otherwise."
All that's missing is for you to say 'hit my music.'
HIT MY MUSIC!
Wait, that's Heather's bit.
Subject: Why Wcw SUCKS:
Reasons why Wcw SUCKS:
1.lex luger:Reid flair sells better than him,he cant cut a promo that keeps people interested,and Chuck Polumbo still has to job to him.
2.Hogan:Boring,Dumb,and weak-assed wrestling.Lets hope Kidman wins at the GAB
3.Kimberly's acting:every time I hear her voice I change the chanel along with 1000000 other viewers.
4.The production crew:segments out of order,bad editing,blurring out signs,and people being in 2 places at once.Great combination, if you want to suck.
5.Russo & Bischoff booking:GI Bro, The MIA, The Filthy Animals, The Cruiserweight division, and the value of titles have all taken a downward spiral upon R & B's arrival.
6.The Announce Team:I will not waste a page of writing on the peace of shit called the announce team.
Ways to improve Wcw:
3.Fire Tony (I don't feel like writing his last name)
4.Get Rid of the dead weight in the new blood:Filthy Animals, Crowbar, and Chris Candido(need to go out on their own and start the rebirth of the cruiserweight division.)Drop the cat.
5.New New Blood:Mike Awesome, Jeff Jarrett, kidman, Shane, DDP, Goldberg.
6.New Storyline:After cutting the fat from the New Blood, R&B decide to get 2 new members.They turn out to be Scott Steiner and Kevin Nash. This angers Jarrett who gets a few new blood members to brake away and form a new group.The rest of the millionaires join R&B.At the next ppv, the main event is Kevin Nash (c) vs Mike Awesome, during the match a big fight brakes out between the 2 factions.Just when it looks like nash is gonna win, DDP distracts Nash and Goldberg spears him into a table, and awesome hits an awesome bomb for his first world title.
Note:Awesome and co. are faces, while R&B and co. are heels.
Thx For your time and consideration.
I've already passed this right along.
(Just kidding. I don't know anybody at WCW)
Subject: Re: Great American Bash Promotion
Long time reader, first time writer.
I just checked out the WCW webpage and found out that if you order the Great American Bash you can get a free Hulkamania Raft. I guess they realize that after people watch the PPV they'll need some way to get away from the sinking Titanic.
By the way, my friend and I have complied a list of potential wrestlers that WCW might dig-up next. The sad thing is that we might even see some of these wrestlers in WCW soon if Russo and Bichoff get desperate enough.
John Tenta: Desperately in need of that 7th gimmick.
And finally, you know deep down, our good friends Oscar and Mo are waiting for a phone call at home. Sad but true, this is the state of WCW today.
By the way, please provide your readers with the status of Meng's contact? There seems to be some sort of confusion because on one hand we heard Meng got his walking papers, well as on the other hand we hear that his Afro is now a member of the New Blood.
Let's all say it together now, "FUNE-BUH". Hulk Hogan is so cool, that's a shoot!!
Yeah baby! Ha ha ha! Yeah baby!
Subject: A quick line...
Due to my position in the toy industry (ie, stockboy at Toys R Us - shows just what an English major can get you!), I am on the pulse of what items the youth of America what. This poor little boy was absolutely crushed because he couldn't find the wresting figure he wanted. Who was he looking for? The Rock? Y2J? Chyna? Nope. He desperately wanted a *Steve Blackman* Titantron figure.
You're not alone...
Does such a thing exist? What does he say? "...." or something, right?
Subject: Wed. Thunder
After watching Survivor, I tuned into Thunder to watch the car crash that is WCW now and was greeted by that friggin' idiot Tony Schivone talking about Scott "I'm too 'roided for my pants" Steiner (remember when his signiture move was the Top rope Frankensteiner which left us all in awe, instead of a lame ass "camel clutch" type of move that doesnt even look uncomfortable). Any way Tony called Steiner " The Loose Cannon" Scott Steiner. The loose cannon? Not only is that an insult to Brian Pillman but to all fans as well. To compare these two is like comparing Marilyn Monroe and Rosie O'donnell. Pillman was and is a Legend and everyone who saw him perform or met him in person came away with the feeling that they had just had a brush with greatness. With Steiner, it's a memory of what he USED to do and how he USED to perform and all we can do is watch and say " that guy USED to be great."
If WCW is going to market Steiner as "The Loose Cannon" then they have a long road ahead before Scott can even be worthy to lace Brian Pillman's boots.
Subject: I have come around
CRZ, I have tried to give Russo and Eric a chance. I have thought at times your criticism of them has gone to far.
After watching last nights Thunder, I have finally realized how bad this promotion is.
It's not just that the two biggest pushes are going to the bookers. It's more that nothing on the show makes sense, I have no idea who is on who's side. I don't care about any of the characters. The best feud in the company is between Russo and Flair, but will do nothing to help WCW turn things around. It elevates no one.
Speaking of elevating new talent, I am so sick of Big Lazy. I am surprised that even the casual fans find him entertaining. The guy has a gut, can hardly wrestle, and it not funny. The only thing he can do is act cool, actually, it's more like he acts like he is above all of this, like he does not care and he is bored, just waiting to go back to Titan. I don't believe for a second Nash wants to be there, he is just trying to collect his fat pay check. For someone who puts so little effort into his craft, it's a crime that he is getting a title shot. Then again, with the title meaning so little, maybe that is a punishment.
I am rambling all about here. It makes me laugh when I read those wrestline rankings of the Monday night shows. For so called smarts, they sure are dumb. Even Goldberg's big return was not done right. Look at how the WWF handled the returns, of Undertaker, Austin and even Kane. After jobbing Abbot to Sid and Arquette, did anyone really want to see him fight Goldberg? Speaking about Abbot does any fan really buy into this guy being a tough guy? Even though I know he is some UFC fighter, I have trouble believing he is that tuff. Does anyone in WCW management realize how it looks with this guy standing in the ring with his huge beer gut in his boxers? When I see Abbot, I laugh. I don't think that is the response they are looking for.
Well I could go on. I feel for you buddy. Why don't you let that Bishop guy do Thunder? You need a break before you get burned out!
A reader a week...that's all I need to convert...I don't know, I actually enjoy recapping Thunder more than Nitro, but that's probably because it's only one show a night instead of two. I keep hoping WCW will just shut down and save me the work.
Subject: thoughts for tonight's report
Hey, could you do me a favor? "The Rick" had some blather about King Kong Bundy winning a match in under 9 seconds, but he was 'pretty sure' that wasn't the shortest match ever. Could you remind him about, oh Diesel's first title (6 seconds), and The Rock vs. Bossman at 1998 Survivor Series (FOUR seconds)? I'd tell him myself, but you know, you actually READ your mail.
Yeah...Diesel's was eight seconds, but I think that Rock/Boss Man one was four. I blame Rick's bourbon problem.
Subject: I Get Letters?
I know you're swamped having to do all those re-caps (transcribing Poppa Pump is a truly thankless task) and maintaining the site, but where's "I Get Letters". After your re-caps, it's my favorite feature of yours. I love the outpourings of pure, unadulterated rage heaped upon you by the WCW fans (these guys are little too serious), but you handle it perfectly.
Take it easy--Dan
PS--I miss the Team Package Concept
Here you go, baby - doing four shows has taken away my "I Get Letters" time, unfortunately...which do you enjoy more, getting four reports a week or reading letters? Toss up?
Subject: Bash this
Question one-Is Mick Foley under contract since he retired? He has always stated his desire to wrestle a lot of the guys in WCW, and since, (in spite of all the accolades duped on him by the internet marks) his #1 guiding force in life has always been money (read the book and see how often its mentioned) I would not be surprised if he were the big Bash.
I would SURE be surprised.
I am assuming that your crack about Tennessee being the crappiest state in the union is just your trademark humor rearing it's head, since while I agree with some of that, by and large Tennessee is not really the crappiest state in the union. And I might have to be offended at that.
But here's something interesting.. The guy who plays Kane has a gym in Knoxville, and the WWF has always played at Thompson Boling Arena, whereas the WWF was always at the Civic Center. And the local public access channel has a "smart" wrestling program that was run by someone well known in SMW. I know it's not Buddy Landell, but it's someone who's name escapes me at this point.
StDharma of Tennessee
Over a year ago, Del Tavian took me to task over at tOA for slighting Tennessee when I'd done NOTHING of the sort. Now, I try to head off his complaints by making sure I deserve it. :)
Subject: More entertaining than the show itself
First time writer, long time reader.
Anyway, your column is the only reason I hope WCW stays on the air.
Did somebody write you before about how the WWF is not realistic because they have small guys beating up big guys? Did that guy ever see Royce Gracie (165 lbs) kick Ken Shamrok's (215 lbs) ass in the first UFC? Or do the same thing to Severn (250)? Or, ah forget it, my brain hurts now.
Anyway, keep on watching that WCW crap so I don't have to and keep up the funny ass writing.
if you hate wcw soooo much and its just so awful then why do you watch it? i mean clearly you have shown to everyone that wcw can do no right in your eyes and wwf can do no wrong. so, why do you feel the need to watch it and give reports on it. as far as im concerned the only reason you arent so fond of wcw is because its wcw and the reason wwf is so "amazing" is because its wwf. believe me chris (if i can call you chris) i understand the criticism, your'e right wcw has a lot of glitches to work out but then again, so does wwf but no, you cant point that out. now can you? i will say your reports are always funny but the constant bashing is just ridiculous. i truly feel sorry for you that you have nothing better to do with your life then this. you must be one hell of a guy! thanks for you time.
I'm optimistic? Hope springs eternal the show will get better? Nah, maybe I AM just one hell of a guy...
Subject: A Thunder Tidbit
As Thunder ended and Scott Steiner was put in a bodybag, I can't help but remember the ominous Chorus of the Wolfpac song:
Don't Turn Your Back on The Wolfpac; You Might Wind Up In A Body Bag.
Now MY head hurts. I can't get that song out of my head.
Subject: Smirk to the CRaZy man
I would never accuse you of bias, but I can accuse you of missing stuff (you forgot to admit you half-assed it again) in Thunder.
At least the Misfits in Action are starting to get their "act" together and wrestling instead of being goofballs. They can be goofballs in the ring all they want instead of wasting time like Ralphus and Smiley were. By the way it was Corporal Cajun holding Major Gunns back, but I know you don't care.
The Nitro ad was full of irony, as nearly three-quarters of the people in there are either hurt or missing
It wasn't "Lube Jobs at the Waffle House", Cat said "New Jobs at the Waffle house"... can't you speak eubonic?
"Private Stash" was a JOKE.... then again, Kidman was never good at humor
Horace got all that offense off behind Johnson's back is because the bald jobber can't do it any other time in the ring
I'm SHOCKED that you didn't say anything about the fact that only HALF the balloons dropped at Ric's retirement party.... or the fact at the end of one of the commercial breaks they forgot to turn off DJRan's mic
...or the fact that Russo abuses balloons throughout his tirade, or the bit about the soggy washcloth, or the lawsuits for throwing food at people - it's only fun until someone losses an eye (there's three lawyers in the building - maybe Cracka Easy-E would loan us one!)
If you listened closer, Abbott was trying to get the crowd to shout "Goof-berg".... oh, THAT'LL hurt someone's feelings
The cop that told off Cat should have arrested Cat for being a bad stereotype and impersonating a martial artist. Shame.
What's with the "Awesome Mullet" Schtick?
What? No shock or surprise that DDP DIDN'T do the diamond cutter?
Read over your list of who you would have RATHER seen..... Regal's "retired", Lane's halfway out the door, they probably DROPPED the villanos after the big editing gaffe, you forgot High Voltage, Avalanche, Shark Boy, and Andre the Giant (yes, I know, he's dead, and God love him - but that old man was close)
I'm also surprised you're not ripping the magazine for being at least two months behind - with so many title changes and "surprise swerves" along the way the cover's outdated.
No complaint that Vampiro wasn't even part of the match with Cat and Sting? or had you had enough of talking about the "relaxed rules"?
If Wall hadn't had a match yet when they got to the shot of the "Awesome 3" and their new table, would you have considered it "Foreshadowing"?
Surprised you didn't berate a cameraman on the bad pan across Hogan signs during his entrance... musta been a Japanese cameraman
Place your bets now on whether or not we get to see Goldberg and what he did to those cops on Monday (or as filler at the GAB)
the second to last person watching Thunder (twice - don't call me masochist)
Somebody's spending more time with Thunder than I am! Can I make fun of you? Hell, your report was better than mdb's this week. HE kept falling asleep! Can you BELIEVE that? :)
By the way, how many "second to last person watching Thunder" are there, anyway? :)
Subject: WCW Thunder recap for 6/7/00
Your recap was HILLARIOUS!!!!! Best piece of comedic journalism I've read in a while. Please write more recaps like that. Thanx for the smiles dude.
Damn newbies...they just don't KNOW how far I've fallen!!
I was looking at your website's "I Get Letters" area and saw this:
well i must say crz, once again you have continued to astonish me, you continue to bad mouth wcw in your nitro reports, and then praise the wwf's "slightly above mediocre" show... On April 10th, the creative geniuses Vince Russo and Eric Bischoff put together a show that will be remembered for the ages, no one can deny that, if you think i am wrong than look a round, atleast 90% of the wrestling internet sites have agreed with me, yet you, still believe that wcw sux, and the wwf is going strong, hate to tell ya buddy, times are changing, maybe not at the speed of light, but changing none the less, you may say look at the ratings, i agree, with one show Vince Russo raised Monday Nitro's second hour ratings half a point. So for the wwf morons like yourself keep watching your show with practically the same main event every night. It's seems it always ends up the McMahons/ Helmsley vs. the Rock. No wait, I stand corrected, the other night on Raw the WWF exceeded it's normal great matches with the Rock vs..... the Big Bossman & Bull Buchanan, yah McMahon's a real genius.
In conclusion, Vince McMahon, without Vince Russo has absolutely no booking
intelligence whatsoever. Also, within a few months WCW will have surpassed
the wwf in ratings and people who give the wwf a bad name will be sorry...
p.s. Please reply back soon, i can't wait to see your next email with hopefully even more wrestling knowledge displayed than usual...
I'd like somebody to remind me to reprint this letter in...oh, let's say THREE months. Veee shall seeeeee...
I thought this wold be especially appropriate on the eve of the "Big Announcement" from WCW
1) Joey Maggs was actually "Hotshot" Joey Maggs in the independent leagues, just to let you know.
2) I don't think you would have rather seen McMichael than the old guy. LIAR!
Oh yes I would have!!
Subject: re: THUDER REPORT 6/08
This week, you wrote:
...emanating from the Civic Coliseum in Knoxville, TN - Tennessee being proven THE CRAPPIEST STATE IN THE UNION...
Now, I've lived my entire life in Knoxville, I go to UT, and...and...yeah, you're right. Tennessee sucks. Any job openings out in Sac for web designer/cartoonist/something? =]
But hey, its all good...I've been a 49ers fan since the fourth grade, so I think that evens it out, eh? =]
aaron b. murray
Subject: You're still a mark
I think that you go out of your way to verbally bitchslap WCW, put that comment about Corp. Cajun pointing to his sideburns in homage of Lt. Loco was wicked funny.
I've got my moments...
Subject: The Last Man Watching Thunder???
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... er, sorry. That's just probably the funniest little tagline I've seen on the site. Except for that one letter you got way back when, when you named the sender as Director of Continuity--[slash] wrestling.
Subject: Scott Steiner
The reason Scott Steiner can beat both Tag Champs in 90 seconds, is because they were in singles competition. Once they combine their mighty powers as a tag team, they're the WCW Equivalent of Voltron. When they combine they're so awesome that no team in this galaxy can beat them.
Subject: "The Crappiest State in the Union" Award
Excellent recap of Thunder. I don't know how you sat through all of it and still managed to do the recap justice. My guess is a quart bottle of Imodium, and a codeine suppository.
As a transplanted "ShowMe Sumbitch" from Irondale, Missoura (note proper pronunciation) by way of Rochester, New York, I've resided in the Great State of Tennessee for, what, the past thirty two years?
I think I can safely say that I qualify as a representative of my adopted home.
Ergo, next time you are out this way, (and you know you will be!), why not stop in, set a spell, and try some good old-timey down home Tennessee hospitality?
You may find your attitude undergoing a re-evaluation.
After all, even though we gave the world Al Gore, we also gave y'all Jack Daniels Ol' Number 6, and Dolly Parton, three of God's greatest gifts to mankind! I think it sorta balances out, don't you?
Consider this a bonafide invite.
If I'm EVER--nah, who am I kidding? I'll NEVER be there. :)
Subject: The sky is falling in WCW
The BIG SURPRISE at GAB (fitting acronym since everyone is gab, gab, gabbin' about this): Ted Turner joins the Millionaires' Club and wins the title after pinning new New Blood recruit Rupert Murdoch!! Then Jane Fonda turns on him and serves him divorce papers and asks for half!! Vignettes of Jane throwing crap out on Nitro!! Feel it!!
Hey, if the New Blood pour blood flavored jello on the Millionaires, shouldn't the Millionaires drop sacks of money on the New Blood? I mean, come on, $61.2 m-million down the toilet and STILL in business? They can afford it.
Subject: Bischoff chat
I overanalysed some of Bischoff's statements on WCW Live. Here:
Bischoff: "I really haven't had a chance to get a feel for it, usually (I
can) get on the Internet, read and hear what people are thinking, but I've
been traveling so much that I just don't have a feel now."
Borash: As far the PPV goes, the matches are there ... are you happy with the way this has been set up as far as what you feel can be delivered this Sunday?"
Bischoff: "I think the stories have been great."
"I'm at a little bit of a disadvantage because I know the end of the story,
that gets you a little boot more excited than people who don't... I'm
excited the way everything is gonna play itself out."
He adds brining Goldberg back and how that adds a whole new element of
excitement and enthusiasm to the show. "To answer your question, yeah I like
the build up to the show, I'm really looking forward to the pay off."
Bob: "You've set everything up really well... So much talk though, is about the big surprise. The buildup has really consumed the Internet... Is there any thought that we've pushed it too much?"
Bischoff really easily says, No. Not at all. Anticipation is one of the
things that makes a PPV special. We've created anticipation, now the
presure's. there's a tremendous amount of pressure on all of us to deliver
.... but I like that kind of pressure... At the end of the day, people will
have enjoyed it and, to a certain extent, have seen the way the stories have
built up and where they will be at the next PPV.
Caller Keith in GA: "Doing a great job so far. I'm curious if you and Russo have a steady relationship now, are you settled into roles and what are those roles?"
Bischoff: "Vince (Russo) is doing 90 percent of the work. Vince is doing the
writing coming up with ideas ... my role is essentially to take a broader
view, a longer term view of where we're going and what we're doing and to
add a different perspective. Vince has a style, a writing style, and I have
a style, and there 2 completely different approaches to the wrestling
business... The best thing that I can do for the company is to let Vince do
what he does best and come up with a different perspective or idea when
necessary, and to help Vince execute. Vince is a very open minded guy,
despite what people read or think, He likes to hear different idea's and try
different ideas and make them work. My role is to take an overall look at
things at to guide WCW in the right direction in the long term."
Ok, let's stop translating and just fill in some of the minutae he leaves out.
Jeremy brings up Monday Nitro in Atlanta, with the Turner executives there, and asks Eric is he was happy with the way it came off as a whole.
Bischoff: "Yeah. We didn't play to executives.(and my winning the Hardcore belt was actually a neccessary plot device. Of course, I can't explain in detail, as it would give away future plot twists) We don't play to 12 people we may never see again. (even if they do control my future. It's true! it's true!) We play to the crowd.(in the back) The crowd was hot. Lot of anticipation, (followed by severe let-down) they expected a lot, we delivered a lot, (Hey! Most of them got in free, so they got their money's worth) they left (and we were) happy, everybody we talked to said it was the best wrestling shows in Atlanta in years (everybody except Goldberg. Actually, I was careful to speak only to Russo, and he spoke only to me & Nash) (and Nash was really pleased)... We delivered on everybody's expectations... Whoever they were.(It's true! It's true!)
Caller Nick: Mr. Bischoff, I've heard you worked in production. Is that true?
Bischoff: I've worked in production?
Same Caller: "Certain things improved on Thunder, but it still looks like a house show on TV. Not to offend you, how are you working to improve the production?"
Bischoff: "I think that was a stupid question.(from a stupid caller. Did the WWF pay you to call and ask me that?) When you say 'how do you improve production'(no really, how do we improve production? We've got a big problem in that area and we're looking for any suggestions) that's like saying 'how do you improve the world.' It's a very broad question from someone who doesn't understand production or what production means.(especially directed at someone with the same shortcomings) Production is a lot of elements (that we don't understand). For example on Thunder that was such a confining building and that limited the ability of the production crew. We were constantly shooting into dark holes... It makes the show look very dark and dismal. So, one of the things to increase the production value is find the right buildings.(It's the buildings' fault!)You need great crowds (it's the fans' fault!)... You have to have the right venue right, the right staff (It's the staff's fault!), the right lighting(It's the fucking lightbulbs' fault!). I'll go back to Monday in Atlanta, that show looked phenomenal(and not just becuz of those Turner bigwigs you mentioned earlier, someone said they saw Brian Lee in the crowd). True there were some camera shots we missed (but most of those were of useless ring action, I got good face time), it was (technically) a live show. Some audio issues (sucked)... it was a live show(so get the fuck off my back, ok?). But overall the production was great(except for all the mistakes). It was a 7 or 8, maybe an 81/2 on a scale of 10. Tonight that show was in Knoxville, Tennessee. We're somewhat limited in what we can do in terms of production values.(since we're not expecting those 12 Turner bigwigs and we didn't sell too many tickets and nobody watches the tv show. Did I mention it's the building's fault?)"
Bob: "Goldberg was interviewed in Knoxville in the local newspaper and was picked up by the AP and had some not so positive things to say about WCW and also speculated that at the end of his contract, he might consider going to the WWF. Have you talked to him about this and what's your reaction?"
Bischoff: "Well, there were a lot of guys that were upset at that article. It unfortunately made it's way around the locker room and created some problems. Did I talk to Bill about it? No.(Don't be silly. Did you see how fucking big he is?) Did I read the article? Yeah, I did. (I like this interview style. Can I just keep asking myself the questions?) But I'm gonna give Bill the benefit of the doubt (because I fear him), often times you do an interview with someone over the phone and the writer can interpret a quote and color an interview any way they want to (like those bastards at the Torch. I hate those guys). There's a lot of talent (like Hogan) who might position themselves in such a way that they always have options. It's nothing new(I've been doing it for years)... I watched Bill the other night, he seemed to be very committed to WCW and the direction we're going(he showed up for work didn't he? I mean hey, it's not like he's faking a concussion to get out of work for a few more weeks, right?), I judge people more by their actions, other than what other people tend to put in their mouths from time to time.(Wait. Did that sound gay? Can we re-shoot that?)"
Caller Tim in WV: "I've read a report earlier today that Bill Goldberg had a concussion. Could you comment on that?"
Bischoff: I don't think it was a concussion at all. There was no doctor there. We have a trainer, who every once in a while thinks he's a doctor(but he's not. I am. or I could've been. My momn would've been very proud of me), he may have suspected that there might possibly be a concussion, but I don't think there actually was one.(because Eric Fucking Bischoff Said So! now break the glass)"
Caller JD in Pa.: My question is, as far as the luchadors go, where are they gonna fit into all of this? Are they gonna comeback, any of them?
Bischoff: To a certain degree, yeah. (How did this guy get thru again? Don't we have caller ID for chrissakes?) Juventud has been working off an injury (because we've always felt that the Mexican wrestlers should give a little more than their anglo counterparts)and he has some personal problems to work through(like our travel staff fucking up his Visa). Rey Mysterio is down with an injury(and won't work. That lazy bastard. Didn't he hear Hogan's speech?). Konnan was suspended (for the same things that got Benoit, Guerrero, Malenko, and Saturn their release and Shane Douglas a push, but that's not a race thing). There is a lot of Hispanic wrestlers that are still part of WCW that for a variety of reasons, that have nothing to do with creative direction (read: Russo's personal prejudices), are just kinda of on the shelf(well, not literally a shelf, it's more like in a closet of a motel room outside of Tulsa, but I digress). I've always enjoyed the high-flying element(of my social life. and partying with wrestlers really rocks. I'm so lucky.). Certainly it's something that made WCW unique in the past and it's something we'll fit in in the future(just as soon as they all learn to speak English, gain at least 50 lbs each and cut promos like the Rock). It's just timing (it's true!).
Borash: There's a lot of talk about wrestlers who get injured sometimes where some of their money is sometimes cut in half or cut in a third, what is your opinion of that? Especially when it's a serious injury, or if it's being taken advantage of.
Bischoff: By whom?
Borash: By the wrestlers.
Bischoff: Well I know for a fact that (all of the)wrestlers (currently on the top of our card) have taken advantage of their contractual relationships with WCW (especially me).
Same Caller: When Dustin Rhodes comes back will he have the possibility of doing a Goldust gimmick?
Bischoff: I don't know (who Dustin Rhodes is). (so) I Haven't thought about it.
Ryder: So much is emphasized on the rating's every week, we've seen improvement, but are we were you wanna be or where you'd thought we'd be?
Bischoff: Actually, I think we're a little short (on cash. About 60 million to be precise). I'm a little disappointed (in the lack of free money floating around here), I knew before we ever launched the Vince Russo-Eric Bischoff product that this was gonna be one-tenth of a point at a time (per year). You know, we're a little bit behind that... I also knew that this was the worst time of year, when it starts getting warm people (like our former Champion Sid) are out playing softball, at night it's lighter later. This is the worst time of year to try and have a big impact (It's the calendar's fault!)... Again all I can do is look and say is it good or is it bad(to you I say, "it's good." to my wife, I acknowledge the Russo sucks and this show is mostly shit. But hey, it keeps me in coffee and toilet paper)? And I'm pretty happy with what we're doing (when we're not hanging around work). I'd be much happier if it manifested itself in higher rating's(but truthfully, I don't give a fuck. I got one of those guaranteed contracts we'll be doing away with)... I'm not sitting here with 10 different ways I think I can make Nitro better(in fact, I don't even have one). I have that opportunity right now. If I had those ideas or the solution, I'd be executing it (I mean, Duh! If it's not yet crystal clear that I have no clue as to what works and doesn't, wait until we launch the "big surprise" at the pay per screw, I mean view.)... As long as we continue to work (against each other) as a team, it's only a matter of time before the audience decides that this is a more entertaining product to watch (that Rock and Bowl, but not by much). I'm not taking anything away from the WWF (I did that last time I had this job.), it going to sound like I am (rehashing all of their old ideas), but I'm watching them do the same thing and make the same mistake that Eric Bischoff made in late '99, or early '99(or maybe it's me I'm watching. I get confused.). They found a formula that worked several years ago and they're riding the horse until it dies(alternately, we found a dead horse and we just keep beating it). It is the same program week in week out(that keeps kicking our ass. it's kinda embarassing). Same talent, same finishes(same fucking ass-whooping in the ratings the next day). It's only a matter of time till the audience figures that out and says I'm going to check out the competition. I only hope (ECW is still on TV by then)(I also have to admit) that we have a product that's (not much) more entertaining (than watching snails breed) (But, our Ho's, or hoochies, as we like to call them, smell cleaner) and fresher(, except maybe Tammy, but she's not really a hoochies as much as a valet) and (that) is substantially different. If we do(I'll be amazed),(I'll probably jump around saying, )" we win!"(until I hurt myself), if we don't(get too fucked up on the way to the next show), we won't(let Russo keep hiring guys like Rection's Dad. What the fuck is that?).
your columb in wrestleline is beyond ignorant, you are such a sheep it isnt funny.
if wcw were too put on the best show ever, you would say "well heres another lackluster performance by wcw". you dont care about the promotions, you care about wwf, thats it, your a mark, nothing more, now keep your oppinions too yourself and to your fan page, dont ruin a good non biased web site with your dribble.
BAAAAAAA baa baa baa baa baa baa baa.
I tell you what - LET WCW put on the best show ever. Then we'll see what I say. How about it, WCW? Will you accept my challenge? Not bloody likely? Aha.
Subject: what are you talking about?
I have never read such a 3:30 in the morning high on pixie sticks washed down with Mountain Dew in my life! I know that some of the WCW angles going on right now are a bit confusing and the production gaffs are terrible but at least their trying! I think you should try and rip in to Vince's verbatim empire every Monday and Thursday night. How many times can we have the, "Oh no, do they trust each other and what's going to happen at the pay-per-view (Fill in the title) it's only 77 days away!"
"At least they're trying?"
Is THAT the best you can come up with?
"At least they're trying?"
King of the Ring is FOURTEEN days away.
Don't blame me - at least I'm TRYING!
Subject: (no subject)
My good friend Josh West know Rick stinner, and i wish even though im 5'4'' im 109 pounds, crazy funny and loves to talk and show off so i want to talk with rick, if i can!
CHRIS BENOIT v. JEFF HARDY for the Intercontinental championship - ...
Hey, Benoit offering the Hand of Friendship! Hardy takes it and you gotta enjoy the rare display of sportsmanship--oh, wait, Benoit WAFFLES him with the title belt. HA! Benoit with a sneering grin. Wow, that rules even harder now. I guess he isn't a face anymore....?
Anymore? CB has been a heel since he turned on Foley many moons ago.
BALD VENIS (with Trish Stratus - the fitness model) v. RIKISHI - ...
Damn straight. My favorite cheating move. It's so visual too. Should be used more.
Rikishi checks what he's done...oh no - he's not - yes he is! SUPERFLY SPLASH!!!!!!!
DAMN! If Venis survives, that's the spot of the month!
Is it just me, or is Chris Jericho not really that funny on the stick? I have not really heard a kneeslapper from him since the whole Harold Finkel/Curtis Hughes phase of his WWF tenure, yet he is perceived to be some great comedic genius in certain SE circles (alright, VANCE McMahon was kinda funny). What gives? Instead of trying to cut that next not-that-funny promo, he should just stick to his in-ring greatness. Maybe this is all because he's just horrible as a weak-dick babyface.
Subject: SmackDown! Recap
Being a Buffalo native and a WWF fan, naturally I was at the taping Tuesday night. Thank you for clearing up what Edge said because I couldn't understand what the hell he was talking about. He rattled the name of the pose faster than that guy in the American Express commercials. That, and I was too busy laughing my ass off because what they said was pathetically true. Especially that "NO GOAL" sign. (God, I'm so embarrassed for my city.)
I also learned why the crowd is always so dead during the middle of the show. The breaks we sit through are as long as the commercial breaks you bitch about. You'd think they'd do something to keep the fan's interest during those breaks instead of shilling shirts and Rock's elbow pads!
Anyways, it was a great show overall, and I can't wait for them to come back. Keep up the great recaps.
Subject: DX's matches
I just realized that X-Pac is always the one getting pinned in DX's matches. Why don't you give him a nickname on your recaps CAUSE I JUST CAN'T STAND THE SON OF A BITCH ! ! !
Wait...so, he isn't really WORTHY of a nickname, right? Hey, have you ever noticed that although X-Pac is more than happy to job in tags and 6-mans, he'll NEVER job in a singles match? That's interesting, isn't it? Eh? Eh? No? Oh.
Just wanted to let you know about acouple minor errors I discovered in your latest Smackdown! report.
First off, this is your transcribe of Triple H's comments during the balloons and confetti celebration: "when somethin good happens... blah blah blah.... I just want to share it with all my familyh, with all my friends...blah blah blah"
Oops, I guess that was just a mistakeh.
Later on, this is your transcription of Triple H talking to the Rock " You wanna talk about payback?...blah blah... -the problem is, it's a little big misguided, because...blah"
Hmmm.....t, g, g, t, they're just soooo close together.....yet soooo far apart.
Here is your commentary after Shane McMahon booked a six-man tag match: "Does Triple H seem less than..blah...Seems like it was HIS idear...." HMMM....lemme check my Funk and Wagnalls dictionary.....ideally, ideate, ideation, ideefixe, damn no idear. Maybe in Websters?
Finally, hear is you callin' the action for the Val Venis vs. Rikishi match "Rikishi and the ....blah...because it muts be time for...well,....blah" Muts? muts? MUTS? MUTS? DO THEY PAY YOU TO SPELL WORDS CORRECTLY? (OBVIOUSLY NOT.) Do you care how BUSH LEAGUE you look? How many LAME mistakes must be made, week after week, before you realise this reflects on the OVERALL CRAPPY PRODUCT??? When you email me back and bitch "you wouldn't be this hard on M.D. Bishop or Sean Shannon if they did this," do you understand that the reason I DON'T is because THEY DO NOT F*CK UP THIS ROYALLY????
I MEAN COME ON, MUTS? MUTS? WHAT THE F*CKING HELL SHIT HAVE I BEEN READING, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. MUTS, WHAT IS THAT? ENGLISH, SPANISH, OH I KNOW, MAYBE ITS SOME KIND OF SECRET DECODER LANGUAGE FOR ALL YOU WWF MARKS!! YEAH THATS IT.. I'M GONNA CRACK THAT CODE. M=I, U=S, T=U, S=K. YEAH, YOUR NOT SAYING MUTS YOUR SAYING I SUK... OH SHIT, S=U SO S CANT =K AND U CANT =T ...DAMN..well I'll crack your little code someday.
Anyway, you always slam on WCW for all their mistakes, but what about yours dawg? If you keep this up I may have to start recapping your recaps.
P.S. Eminem's Farm Club Freestyle is on Napster.
Subject: Malenko should get a new tag team partner
I haven't been paying attention long enough to see if they've always done this, but as far as I know Malenko has gotten pinned in every tag team match he's had with the Godfather as his partner. Just an observation...
Subject: Re: question
im seriously really curious to know why you suffer through those shows if you hate them so much
God only knows...and He ain't tellin'.
Christopher Robin Zimmerman