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I Get Letters


Witty hair comment here
Subject: just a quick comment

I just wanted to say that i have a friend named Bobby P. or Payton9596 (you may know him) and he loves your little comments about all the matches in all the shows but if you ask me you are sooooooo BAD. And the only reason why im e-mailing you is because he always tells me your little quotes and they are just geting worse and worse... and yes your little observations are true but the jokes are horrible.... either get funnier and fast or SHUT UP.... and also dont you have anything better to do than watch WCW ..... they are just as bad as you. Thats all i have to say


Maybe you should stop reading - it'd save time for BOTH of us.

Subject: Re: just a quick comment

first of all i dont read them my friend reads them to me and thats the best you can come up with even after all your corny wrestling jokes... thats pathetic

I'm not sure what this guy wanted out of me - given his first email, it sure seemed like anything beyond what I gave him would be a TOTAL waste of my time, talent, wit, whatever. I mean, COME ON. "That's the best you can come up with?" Yeah, 'cause I only felt like spending about ten seconds on your reply - hey, feel lucky I wrote back at all, given the rude way you started the least your friend has some taste. ;-)

Subject: Getting into Wrestling


I have this friend who has very recently gotten into wrestling. SHE has become an addict, and has been talking about trying to get into a professional circuit. I have been a fan for a while and know that the way to do it is to start in the small circuits around the area. We are both Duke students, and are looking for a school and a circuit for her to join in North Carolina near Durham or Raleigh. I was wondering if you had any information about local places for her to go to.

This is not a joke if you are wondering. She is a Varsity Volleyball player here, and a tremendous athlete. Tonight we were wrestling around and she was kicking my ass and I weigh 210 pounds.



I'm in California. What exactly makes you think I'd have ANY clue about this?

Subject: I need a career, can you help?

I want to work in the business of sports entertainment. I've decided that is the only way ill be happy in life. Im actor by trade, I have a very distinctive personality, and I am a devoted fan. My true desire is to help ECW become truly the great company it could be, but they are hard to get a hold of since they have no real headquarters. If you could please send me some info or give me some pointers I would appreciate it.

Thank You,
Jason Herbert
Warrington, P.A.

Geez, they all write at once, don't they? Yeah, I'll personally put you in touch with Paul E. next time we're chatting on the phone. DUH.

Subject: You get letters.

Why is it that Rock spits in his hand before punching someone? I mean, if he's PUNCHING someone, then the spit is enclosed in his fist, right? Maybe the spit just gives him confidence.

Also, I know X-Pac will take on Blackman on Smackdown...but X-pac never jobs, remember? So unless Road Dogg turns on him, it looks like Blackman's going down.

Anyway, keep up the quality.

Bob Coleman

Subject: NO PLOT


I'm enjoying your recap of Nitro, which I didn't see, but I'm just shooting this off to you as I read it:

Why do they keep advertising movies with no apparent plot? "Oh, I'll go see Nutty Professor II: The Klumps because Eddie Murphy plays a gazillion characters - never mind that there's apparently NO PLOT." "Oh, I'll go see Coyote Ugly because lots of hot chicks spray booze everywhere - never mind that there's apparently NO PLOT."

Remember, this is Nitro. It would make sense to advertise for movies with no plot during a tv show which is also well known for also have no plot.

I like the term Russotastic. It sounds like something Edge and Christian would use, but never will.

I'll go back to reading now.


Subject: Vampiro T-shirt ad - buy it when you feel like JOBBING

Vampiro T-shirt ad - buy it when you feel like JOBBING

i know you were joking when you wrote it...but im wearing it now...and i do feel like laying down for some no talent...

and thank you for not cutting up ICP this week...i read your recaps...hmm seems like everyday recently...(i even had them printed and brought to me in the hospital when i couldnt watch wrestling there) and when you cut them up its always for something dumb...i dont know why i wrote that...i think its the pain killers...i also dont know why i didnt erase it...ah comes my cat...bett let her pin me


Subject: Lita's music

I'm sure you've gotten a fair amount of email about this already... from what I can tell you get plenty of email on just about any topic so this wouldn't be excluded... anyway, Lita's new music isn't new, Terri used it for a few weeks (maybe you already knew that). I guess it isn't too late to give it to Lita, but when I heard the music I expected to see Terri come out and then someone completely different came out... and doesn't that just defeat the whole purpose of the music, to let us all know who's coming about half a second before they walk through the curtain? Oh wait, nevermind, it's not...


Subject: wcw

This has got to be the suckiest two hours on TV....I don't know how you can stand it, other than the fact that it's your job. Thank God I don't watch that horseshit anymore.....

Peter Fonte

P.S. wcw has a website? What, Ralphus with a pencil and a stack of post-it-notes?

Subject: Raw

The hell with the shoulder tattoo- Lita's ass in a thong sends me to the woods every time! Don't worry, my man- there will be some kind of convoluted bullshit nonsensical explanation for the Big Doof's getting with the boy genius. One more thing: Foley fucking kills me! I hope this guy is commish a long time...

Peter Fonte (again)

Subject: What's with these guys?!

You know what? I have a SERIOUS problem with the way WCW is presenting itself now. As if the standard racist/nationalist bullshit from them wasn't enough, now they seem to be starting a damn RACE WAR! Think about it... Booker T wins the title. The very next night, just when we think WCW grew some class and is showing a more professional side with a speech from the new champ, Scott "I take more steroids than Road Dogg smokes WEED" Steiner comes in and beats Booker with a WHITE bat, then threatens the man's wife. Yeah, great FAMILY entertainment, Russo! Now all of a sudden, Goldberg, the great Jewish role model has developed a pronounced Southern accent and has a big problem with the BLACK World champ. Once again, great FAMILY entertainment. It's bullshit like this that kept me away from the WWF when Russo was writing there! It looks like he hasn't grown a damn bit in the past few years, and I'm really seeing him as a total waste of skin. But, on to why I wrote. As you can tell, I'm not the biggest WCW fan, and in fact I refuse to watch this waste of airtime as long as that bag of ass Russo is employed by them. I've seen you write several times about WCW fans bitching you out for your unflattering reports. Well, there's at least one fan out here who feels even more strongly about WCW's TOTAL lack of redeeming qualities than you, and frankly all of these WCW marks, up to and including that fat fuck Mark Madden should all walk into the woods and hang themselves. Sorry for the heated comments, but WCW has truly pissed me off for the last time, and I had to get thisanger out of me before doing the unthinkable and actually REFUSING to watch a wrestling promotion. From now on, it's the Indies, Japan and WWF only for this guy!


I ain't TOUCHIN' this one!

Subject: WWF's glass ceiling

I love how people are so tainted by the poorly booked WCW, that they are now applying the same judgements on how WWF is booked. After reading the match by match report on 1wrestling, I just knew that some people were going to start saying how the WWF really screwed the "new blood" by having them all job at the PPV. I guess some people forget that feuds are normally things that span the time of a few months instead of just one.

But I don't write for a wrestling site, so what do I know? It's not like the seeds that were planted at the PPV will end up helping Benoit or Angle get over by becoming part of a potentially hot stable. And Jericho? Come on, it's not like anyone ever got (or stayed) over by feuding with him for a few months. Hell, they all might as well go to WCW. They possibly couldn't overcome the Rock (who probably gets pinned at LEAST once a month, and probably rarely complains about it), HHH (who in the storylines is just so stable and focused), or Undertaker (who will soon be carrying around the chaw pouch just like Al Snow carries around Head).


Subject: austin

i was wondering if you know when we can expect stone cold steve austin's returnto the ring? thanks, jru

What'd Ross say lately? September? Maybe a surprise appearance at SummerSlam to set up a match for Unforgiven? Maybe not? I honestly don't know.

Subject: hhh/Angle


If Kurt Angle is celibate, why is HHH so concerned about a hug?

Andrew Healan

You know...that's a DAMN good question.

Subject: kill the rock!

I was on this website where you kill celebrities and I happened by something i thought you would get a kick out of. Since I know you love The Rock (note sarcasm), I decided to send you this. On the site Assassin, where you kill celebrities, there is not one, but TWO (coun't 'em two) different ways to kill The Rock.. And when you're done with that, you can also kill Hulk Hogan, Dx, Val, and Vince McMahon as well. You should check it out the site is (click on where it says "sports" to get to all The Rock killin' action!)



Subject: Windows

Hi -

Since you were complaining that you don't get enough mail <G> ...

here's a super-slo-mo of the plate window run - Jannetty was better.

Well, nobody beats Defenestration X.


Take your puns, stick 'em sideways, and...hey, I've NEVER said I don't get enough mail! You must have me confused with someone else!


Yellow shorts?
Subject: you

Yellow shorts? I've lost all respect for you!


Ey, don't dis my banana garb, mon!

Subject: Buchanan's Gymnasticky thingie

I'm sure this will fall into your I didn't really care category, but this is my area of expertise.

Buchanan's move in the corner, and also on the ropes (as well as Shawn Michael's trick is called a pullover (my 8th grade P.E. teachers insistance on calling it a belly grind notwithstanding), alternatively called a "back pullover" though for the life of me I can't imagine what a "front pullover would be".

And Chyna's tumbling in a roundoff (badly done) back handspring (also called a flip flop, or a flic-flac if you are european) back elbow (that's ROFF back elbow for short)

enjoy, or berate publicly

Steven James Oliver

"Berate publicly?" That doesn't SOUND like me...

Subject: Nitro in Paint

Hey CRZ,

It was funny, because I was getting my kitchen redecorated while Nitro was on this week. It was a cheap-ish firm doing the decorating, called We Can Work, led by a gaffer from New York, with two apprentices (he called them 'jobbers'), who also host an internet show on decorating, called Paint Live!

Anyway, first off, it all goes okay. They put some blue paint on the walls, which is well and good. So I went off to watch Lance Storm's match, safe in the knowledge that things were going to plan. However, I returned to said kitchen some half an hour later, where I noticed the gaffer was painting yellow over the blue. I asked him what he was doing, and he looked a bit disgruntled, sighed, and said that I didn't 'get it'. His two jobber blokes said that the story all along was to have the yellow paint, that was where they were going, but the gaffer likes to throw in a few 'AMAZING SWERVES!!!' along the way. They more or less put my mind at ease, and I returned to Nitro.

When I popped my head back into the kitchen, things were not going to plan. Apparently, despite the gaffer's best efforts for the past hour, the blue paint was refusing to sell for the yellow. I asked about orange, but apparently that does the job for no-one. In fact, rather than yellow, the wall was now looking slightly green. Apparently, this was an AMAZING SWERVE!!! I said that this made no sense - first it was blue, then yellow, but now it's green. The gaffer sighed, and said that I didn't 'get it'. I said that there is a fine line by saying you are going to give your client something he wants, and then not following through. The jobber blokes said that this was an issue that was completely planned, and will be addressed in the future.

I came back a while later, during a five team cage match, and my god, there was paint everywhere. Blues, greens, yellows, reds, purples. Even the jobber blokes didn't seem to understand what was going on here, but insisted that it built up interest for the final product. I told the gaffer that I didn't want the wall to end up like a rainbow, I wanted the wall finished clean, but he just sighed dispiritingly, said I didn't 'get it', and that he doesn't do things 'clean'. The jobber blokes said that it was about as clean as it could get at the moment, as the blue was an unstoppable monster, and the gaffer was a little afraid of getting rid of it, seeing as he had only recently got rid of his orange. By now, the blues and yellows and greens had changed into a kind of musty beige, in an AMAZING SWERVE!!!

Finally, just after Nitro had finally finished, I returned to the inner sanctum, and now the yellow was more or less over the blue, but the blue was still managing to rear its ugly head. I said, look, you've obviously chosen yellow as your major colour here, but you're still not quite willing to make it look good. And anyway, I continued, you've been here for months now, decorating this bloody kitchen. After the last lot, you said you could turn things around. The gaffer sighed, said I didn't 'get it', and went off to look for his business partner, who's gone AWOL for the last few weeks. The two jobber blokes were left to explain earnestly that 'rebuilding takes time', and that although there are definitely things that could be improved, these are being 'looked into', and that all the issues are 'being addressed' and that I just had to 'be patient' and look 'where things are going', and that there are 'lots of twists and turns that are going to take shape in the coming weeks', and that there is 'a pattern that is part of a story' and I 'have to give it time to play out'. I said, what about the time that the gaffer had that movie star come in to paint my wall? They said, 'It wasn't something that you would have expected to have happened'. Too bloody right! Then, the jobber blokes got out a new tin of paint, and began to paint my battered wall orange, in an AMAZING SWERVE!!!

So anyway, I give them three months before I start looking for a new decorative team. Because Vince Russo, YOU'RE CRAP, and WCWLIVE! you are even CRAPPER, peddling out this rubbish week after week. Instead of talking about doing something, just do it, to quote a phrase.

Oh, for the love of god, this is WAY too long to go on a WrestleLine column now. Oh well, nothing to worry my head, because I actually DIDN'T see Nitro this week. Or for the last few months. Why? Because in their infinite wisdom, WCW doesn't broadcast it in the UK any more! Brilliant! Try selling out Manchester, Birmingham and London AGAIN, WCW, because we're not suckers over here. What with the Queen Mum's birthday and The Patriot out in the same month, we're pretty well riled up! God, it's times like this I miss Big Daddy wrestling Giant Haystacks in a village hall on a saturday afternoon. And if you think American wrestling's big time at the moment, saturday afternoon British wrestling used to get 20million viewers. Yeah, so there.

Yours patriotically,


BTW, did you KNOW that one of the Fat Ladies (British Cooking Chicks) was dead, when you did the gag about them and Mike Awesome?

Yep. But your letter was STILL awesome (or Awesome, if you like).

Subject: 7-24 RAW

Say, didn't Show and Shane hate each other? Well, they're walking off now. Angle's right behind 'em...tho' we don't know for sure if he's in with these two or not. Let's call it (no contest 3:14). There better be a DAMN good explanation for this.

Remember when Big Show originally turned "Hollywood" and Shane said that nobody will ever care what he did because he was a joke now? Maybe on Smackdown the Boy Wonder will say that all the time Big Show was in the hospital recuperating from Shane's BRUTAL ATTACK WITH A CINDERBLOCK, he thought it over and realized that Shane was right; no one would take him seriously, so he may as well go back to being a heel bad-ass.

Maybe not a DAMN good explanation (maybe just a darn good one), but it's all I've been able to come up with, and I can't really think of any other reason the WWF could give for Show joining back up with Shane ... Unless they just decide to completely forego any explanation (like when Vince turned on the Rock at Wrestlemania), then I'll be pissed.


Well, after SmackDown!, how do you feel?

Subject: New Name For Kane

Hey CRZ, when you write your Raw and Smackdown reports, why don't you try calling Kane THE DIRT DEVIL. The announcers call him the Big Red Machine on TV, and the DIRT DEVIL vaccuum cleaner is big, red, and a machine, just like Kane.

Jackie Mueller

That's MUCH too clever for me.

Subject: wrestling fan

I have to admit that I have loved WWF promarily with ECW a close second. Why's that? maybe because WCW is now some cheap imitation of the two. They have a TV title now (ECW), a titontron lookalike (wwf), characters and storylines very similar to WWF, a hardcore title now, (wwf). my god this is cheap! Even moves that look like the rock bottom and other trademark moves. Vince Russo giving the "suck it" motion? wow... I mean I have hated Eric Bishoff forever. I mean Hey! let's take all the talent from ECW! lance Storm, Mike Awesome just to name some recents from ECW. Although I am very disapointed in the fact that the talent of Tazz is being wasted, I believe that Jericho is much better off as Y2J than the lionheart or any other names. He's at his prime right now, that's good. I'm glad to see some stuff on yur site. But I can't find IWA stuff. heard that Vader is in that now, true? ah well. And if you could explain a few things, like where Mideon and Vicera are (heard rumors both are going to ECW), and where's thrrasher again. anything about a title change for once in ECW? In my mind they are notorius for having titles for people last the longest. (Justin credible, Tazz, RVD).Ohh yeah and to end I wanted you to hear some of my opions. Mike Awesome is better in WCW. Perry Saturn, Eddy, and dean belong back in WCW. Tommy Dreamer should get more respect. Lita is the best. Little Spike Dudley is the man and should stay where he is. Vampiro was cool until his white makeup and should have went to WWF. The Undertaker was cooler as a heel and as the Phenon. When will Mr. Ass return? doesn't Lex Lugar and Mr. Ass look alike? will austin ever wrestle again? what about gangrel? Where's he? Test needs more stuff. RVD should have the spotlight like he used to. there are a lot of wasted talent in WCW. I wish everone wouldn't copy the kick that Booker T uses (I forget the name off hand) Thank you very much for letting me voice my shit. This is a great website that I enjoy going to.


Subject: Insane Clown Posse Remedial Detroit-based illustrator and sometime rock god Mark Dancey did a feature for Spin last fall on the rise of the ICP in Detroit. I thought it was worth a read.

The other irony: there's an old Detroit band called "Dark Carnival" whose lead singer, Niagara, has more evil in one of her pointy little fingernails than Violent J has in his entire body.

Britain Woodman

Subject: Long time reader, first time writer

I thoroughly enjoy your reviews of all the major wrestling shows. It's amazing how precise you are with the matches. God bless you. Anyway, I'm watching Thunder as I type this, listening for any crowd noise that isn't canned. I just heard Vampiro say, "I don't care about winning." Couldn't have said it any better than that.

It feels like WCW is pushing young guys, but they're pushing guys that are nowhere near ready for prime time. Jindrak and O'Hare? "Above Average" Mike Sanders? Skipover? If they had any sense before, they would have been pushing guys like Benoit, Jericho and Guerrero. Then again, I don't have 60 million to throw away.

Once again, excellent recapping. Keep up the awesome work.

Ken Howard

Subject: you're a dork

Dude, you are weak to me. Those made up wrestler names you seem so proud of are wack. They're just stupid, and you probably think you're so clever too, dontcha? Don't lie, you do. I stay the fuck away from anything on Wrestleline with "CRZ" on it. Don't get me wrong, I love sarcasm in writing and I put my own humorously bitter edge on anything I write, but thats cuz I HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR.

You're so not funny


Kingsley C. Sur
Product Tester II
f e a r t h e a r m a d i l l o

Man, I FEEL your humorously bitter edge in what you've written to me. I think it was when you said "You're so not funny" that I KNEW I had no chance matching wits with you. I'd try harder in my reports but since you're not reading, I think I'll just GIVE UP and do the same halfassed job I ALWAYS do. Thanks for writing!

Subject: juvi&rey???

whats up with juvi & rey r they gay??? i think juvi is but r they both??? could u please respond.
thank u


Umm....f e a r t h e a r m a d i l l o!!

Subject: just an observation

The WCW poll was so obviously a work. I am SHOCKED that people do not see this. At the very moment that the Cat announced it, live, I logged on to You could click under the name, but the buttons to actually make a vote didn't work EVER, during the entire hour. They didn't even load up. You know when you load a page an image doesn't work? That's what it looked like. Even if you did click it, nothing would load. It was a complete scam I can't believe people didn't say this ALL OVER THE NET. If it had been real, Stevie Ray would have won.


Subject: Something

Hey, I noticed something from what little I saw of Thunder. You know the Hancock-Gunns arm-wrestling match? Was I the only person who thought that that segment was a DIRECT copy of the Terri Runnels-Kat arm-wrestling match a few months ago in WWF? Russo is gettin' sloppier by the week...


To be fair, though, EVERY arm wrestling match is EXACTLY the same...

Subject: Lack of pushes.

Just because you lose, it doesn't mean you aren't being pushed. Japanese wrestlers are just not over with most wrestling fans.

You don't like Madden because he is outspoken about internet wrestling geeks like yourself. You can't handle the truth. He has pointed out that you people have no life and live vicariously through wrestling and think you know more than the people who actually make a living in the wrestling business. Instead you sit by your tv and computer all by yourself. Go out and get a girlfriend, lose your virginity.


Wow, you had me with your first paragraph and then you lost me with your second. Well done!

Subject: Muta???

Someone wrote in about trying to find a sight for the Great Muta and what "Muta" means. Well, my ex was over a few days ago. I asked her what "Muta" means in Japanese. Seemed like a good idea since she is Japanese. "Ummm...indecypherable, inscrutable, ect.." Hmmm, the Great Inscrutable..., that did sound quiet right. So I explained why I wanted to know. She said if I could show her the Kanji. Hey Sue, it's in the here. In English. Since I didn't feel like exposing her to, I never really got an answer. But she is coming by this weekend, so I think I will show it to her espedcially since if you dig far enough into it there is a "Great Muta" wrestling section. Just bored from Thunder last night (fell asleep during it),

Scott - How about calling Muta & Vampiro "Paint by Numbers" when they appear together since whatever they do is as simple to follow as those kits...

Subject: Worst Wrestler Name

By Richard Burton
Special to the Star-Banner

OCALA- Dory Funk Jr.'s "Funking Conservatory" fight camp has garnered attention as one of the top training schools for wrestlers in the nation.


Joe McMunn: Known as 'Super Hentai,'' McMunn, 22, is very Rey Mysterio-like in his ring work.

SUPER HENTAI?!? Hentai is the Japanese word for ANIME PORN!

Arthur Kimes

Subject: Your Job......

Hey CRZ,

How can you watch 2 hours of that boring ass show, Nitro? I could be drunk as hell and still wouldn't watch it. Its so damn sloppy ! ! !


Well, it all starts with the fact that I'm a dork...

Subject: wheeling thunder


i was at the taping on tuesday (of course i didnt pay for it, some dumb crew guys let me in), and it was quite possibly the worst wrestling event ive ever attended, that includes the raw the night after the survivor series when the rock (yeah i know im a mark i dont care i dig the guy) jobbed to Bossman. it was scheduled to start at 7pm, i got let in at 905 and they opening pyro was just getting underway (which the fucked up of course, as well as the cat segment with the broken glass window, they had to break 2 of them). there was a bout a 15 min. break between every freakin match w/dj ran tryin to get all up in our areas and the nitro girls, as well as having a nitro girl 3count stand off in which the entire "sing along w/ 3 count" song was played, yeah all 5:37 seconds of it. the crowd was dead the entire nite, they popped for vampiro, the cat, kanyon, jarret, booker t, and of course any one w/breasts (except paisley for some reason). but there was no reaction to anything escept the begining and ending of each match, no moves were popped for at all, and the crowd noise that was on during the show was acctually somewhat how it shouldve sounded like, but knowing wcw theyll come back 2 wheeling cuz we had the place filled to a decent capactiy. in addition the goldberg interview wasnt aired during the taping, even tho the radio commercial heavily hyped an appearence by him, scott steiner, and kevin nash, none were produced, local tv stations interveiwed nearly irate rednecks who came to see goldberg and demanded their money back. thus proving how ridiculoudsly backward, and stupid my state is to not understand what card subject to change means.

thanx 4 ure time
Steve "The Roach"

Subject: big main event on monday???

Listen, I'm confused. Throughout Thunder, especially the beginning part of it, The Cat, and especially the WCW announcers hyped the main event for Nitro. But then, we never found out what it was. Are we supposed to tune into Nitro to find out this "special" main event? Why not announce it on Thunder, and then hype it for the rest of the show, instead of hyping a "surprise match." Also, the Goldberg shoot interview. After hearing that interview, what "casual" fan still will think of Goldberg as a heel. Its almost like he used that interview to become a face again. (even though he was kinda one already). And how about that "above average" Mike Simmons guy? A week ago they had good segments of Mike Simmons being hit unconsious three times. I actually thought it was funny, even if it was predictable, but then they decide not to use him. I don't fucking get it. And can we please see Crowbar wrestle, he is actually entertaining in the ring. One last thing- maybe they should have MIke Awesome have a crush on Judy Bagwell, she is fat. Just wait, in 5 months, Mona will be getting nice pops in the WWF. I guess I just wanted to voice my opinions to someone who also seems fed up with the WCW-


You must have tuned out before the main event - it was announced that Sting would face Booker T. We've also since learned that Steiner and Nash would tie it up...

Subject: WTF? X-Pac jobs?!

X-Pac jobs in a singles match to Steve Blackman.

All is right in this world.

rock and roll.

You DAMN right!

Subject: Show's turns

Pretty lame promo cut by Big Show to explain his latest in a long line of turns. Since I've got nothing better to do, I took the liberty of trying to figure out exactly how many times he's turned since coming to the WWF. I think I've got it pegged at six, tentatively:

He came in as a heel at the St. Valentine's Day Massacre to interrupt Vince's match with Austin. Then Vince slapped him at WMXV and he turned face soon after that.(1) After he joined "The Union" with Shamrock, Test, and Foley for that short time, he teamed with Undertaker to win the tag titles, as a heel.(2) Then Undertaker left with his injury, and Show feuded with DX, winning the title, as a face.(3) Shortly after that he had that feud with Rocky, making him I guess the de facto heel in those matches.(4) Then, since there was nothing left for him to do, he stole "Stevie" Richards' gimmick, and had that little tiff with Angle and later Shane. (Showster, Showkishi, etc.)(5) Now, upon his return from surgery, he did the logical thing and team ed with Shane's new band of hooligans, forgiving him of course for shattering his knee.(6) I may have missed something, but I think that pretty much covers it. Man, I need to get out more.


Hey, *I* wasn't gonna say it... ;-)

Subject: Okerlund

Hey Chris,

I don't know if anyone told you yet, but according to the latest Observer, Mean Gene was, in 1959, the lead singer of one of South Dakota's first rock and roll bands, "Gene Carroll and the Shades." I guess that's why he got the gig doing Tutti Frutti on the Wrestling Album.

Victor Szanyi - halb Wesen und halb Ding JAPAN INDY WORLD~!
Ich bin der Musikant mit Taschenrechner in der Hand

Damn, you like Kraftwerk as much as I do, Victor...

Subject: Rikishi/Tonga Kid

I know you're an extremely busy man, but I also know you have incredible wrestling knowledge. One of my friends is sure that Rikishi wrestled at one time under the name "The Tonga Kid". I say he's wrong. Can you clear this up? Thanks

Chris Petro

Nope, the Tonga Kid was his brother Tama. Although the real names list says that Fatu DID go by "the Tonga Kid" briefly in Japan. I guess you're BOTH right.

Subject: Steph's acting

This is an interesting tidbit from one of Wrestleline's staff, regarding Stephanie McMahon's acting ability, which, as us *loyal readers* know, you mock on a regular basis:

Anybody who doesn't think she is a talented performer doesn't know much about acting. She's good. She's a natural and, like Shane, she works hard to boot, which means she gets better all the time.

So sez Steve Harper. I say "HA!" Obviously, his level of evaluating acting talent doesn't stretch much beyond "This Island Earth" or "The Mole People."


You actually READ WrestleLine columns?

Subject: HHH/Stratus/Stephanie

OKay, since you don't read my e-mails anyway, it doesn't matter what I write, though I thought it was quite funny that the entire HHH/Stratus wrestling hold fiasco was lifted from an episode of Saved By the Bell. In it, a girl joins the wrestling team and Slater has to teach her some moves. He puts a waist lock on her and she says, "Hold me tighter" just as Slater's girlfriend walks by. As you can imagine, hilarity insues but lamps and fruit platters are not tossed.


Hey, I READ your emails...I just don't write back!!

Subject: Lita


Why do you cringe when Lita does hurracanranas? I've never paid close attention, but is she really sloppy - you expect her to break someones neck sometime?

Rich G.


Subject: Lord Scherer

How can Scherer question if the Thunder interviews are a work or a shoot?

Doesn't he know the CRZ rule yet? It clearly states that anything on TV, espically during a taped show, is a work. Every comment we heard on these "shoot" interviews was approved before hand. Are some of the comments and opinions these guys express true? Of course. Are we to think though that the PPV match between these two is going to be a shoot fight? Give me a break!

David Hanna

Subject: Cupcake commercial.

I think you missed the point of that Stacker commercial.
He can reach it (the cup cake that is) - he is fingering it while he masturbates.
Fat guys and food fetishes - yum!!!

It is a pretty stupid commercial.
Now Bundy and some wrestling midgets would be a good stacker commercial

Mark Augustyniak

Geez, I needed THAT mental picture

Subject: (no subject)

Blackman is Ruthless!!!


Subject: (no subject)

MY question is...if he can't reach it NOW, how did that cupcake get there THEN?

I thought the exact same thing.


Subject: Re: HHH/Stratus/Stephanie

Okay, I feel better than. Anyway, last little comment, I feel that the trio of the Goodfather, Steven and Wall Richards should be referred to as the Jehova's Witnesses


Subject: LOL! [Muta]


I know I tried to play Mr. Know It All last week by pointing out Muta's use of the Kimura lock (which is an ARM lock!) into a takeover, but Great Muta's finisher on Thunder (out of the DRAGON SCREW LEG WHIP) was a knee bar. Nothing fancy, no great name, just KNEE BAR.

Just thought YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW....

Scott Dougherty

Yeah, but Scott, you're like THE ONLY GUY to pay attention to it. Fortunately, I had that in mind when I wrote it (yeah, right) ;-)

Subject: Steve Blackman--- I name him LORD!!

You rat bastard! Your incessant pushing of Steve Blackman in your recaps has turned me into a Lethal Weapon mark! Now, I'M popping for the Stone Faced Killer, and I hated the guy two months ago. Damn you!

BTW, with UPN officially changing their name, does this mean that they're going to make only one bumper for the Parmount Network, too? Just wondering.

Edward Madson

Every time I see that bumper, I wonder "whatever happened to Ivory?" ALL WILL COME AROUND ON THE SUBJECT OF THE LETHAL WEAPON



I have only been a "regular" follower of the WWF for about eight months. In that time I have enjoyed your columns immensely. I particularly like the names you have made up for some of the wrestlers.

I also am a fan of Steve Blackman. I hope his recent exposure on TV is a sign of a long overdue push. Do you think that will happen?


Chad Crudup

It IS happening - sit back and enjoy the ride


Why do you take the piss out of wcw so much? Is it because you can't take that wcw is finally more interesting than wwf? wwf have the same matches week after week, with the same old Rock vs HHH or Rock vs Chris Benoit main event. How BORING!!!!! RAW IS BORE, cos the wwf just keeps rotating the opponents the the Rock (or should I say the Cock) has to face. So in future keep your narrow minded, boring opinions to yourself, and look closer to home when criticising storylines and wretslers, cos the wwf has got some of THE most SHITTY wrestlers eg the hardy boys, (what a bunch of skinny pussies!!)

Rajinder Pandher

Wow, you're really all over the place here. I guess the only counter I have is: you're so, so wrong. ;-)

Subject: (no subject)



Damn, I hope whatever she's paying you to write me is worth it.

Subject: Sellout!

You know, I started thinking about the whole Viacom/CBS deal with Vince McMahon and the WWF when I noticed something. Call it "Six Degrees of Separation" if you will. The final point is this, through mystical means, you're a shill for WWF without your own knowledge. Lookee here.
1) ECW (which you've shown disprovement of) is on TNN
2) TNN is going to dump ECW for WWF in the fall
3) WWF got to be on TNN by making a deal with CBS, which owns TNN
4) Besides being a part of Viacom, CBS sponsers websites...
5) Including CBS Sportsline...
6) And Wrestleline, which *you* work for!
Face it, you're part of the machine now. No wonder why you've been such a great WWF fan all these years! Vinny Mac's dirty money is lining your pockets! Corporate whore!


Dammit, where IS all this money people think I'm getting? DAMMIT TIMES TWO!!

Subject: The (only) cool thing about Lo Down.

Is that they've resurrected _my_ personal all-time favourite finisher, the PowerPlex.

Matt S

(incidentally, what percentage of your e-mails end in 'It's True, it's true' and when did it stop being funny?)

Not as many as you'd think - and it's NEVER going to stop being funny! IT'S TRUE! IT'S TRUE!! HAAAAAAAhahahahahahahaha


I was SO bored waiting for a download, I went to the CoyoteUgly web site.

Guess what? No sign of plot there either. I mean, if you're looking at some subtle clues, I could probably guess the story (nieve girl goes to big town, joins bar, meets guy, has too choice between bar and guy, chooses bar, lesbian orgy ends movie), but they certiantly don't spell anything out.

Which menas it'll suck even more when people turnout big the first weekend.

The Cubs Fan

It's's true.


Christopher Robin Zimmerman
[slash] wrestling


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