I Get Letters
Hey, the one year anniversary of my last set of letters! Just think, since then I've left WrestleLine, WrestleLine went under (a COINCIDENCE, I'm sure ;-) ), I dumped the ezboard for Wienerville, my QuickCam stopped working (hence the rerun photo from last year) and pretty much stopped getting letters. Still, never let it be said I'm not above begging! Thanks to the following folks (as well as a few others) for sounding off. Maybe I'll get more next week - maybe we won't see this for another year. IT'S UP TO YOU! LET'S GIT IT OWN....
Subject: A note on Latino Heat's Promos
Just a slight technical observation on Eddie's promos concerning the ladies, it's mami not mommy.
Subject: New site look...
Hey... I hear there's some NBA team you're fond of, but I just can't put my finger on which one. If you could try to be a little less subtle with your hints, I'd appreciate it.
I'll definitely see what I can do about that.
Wouldn't it make more sense for ALL titleholders to be able to work both shows? If the tag team champs are stuck on Smackdown only, doesn't that make the Raw tag division pointless?
The NWO needed the Big Show. Hall and X-Pac alone are hardly a terrifying prospect. It makes sense history-wise, and makes them look like more of a threat now that Nash is *cough cough* injured. I still don't give a shit for 'em tho. If they added the Bossman and Mr. Perfect to their ranks, I might care for a minute. But a minute, no more. Maybe less. See below.
If anything I like the split for the little things. We get a couple new faces (Brock, Rico) and the chance to see more in the future, more cruiserweight stuff...plus with the split the way it is it makes the world title mean a little more.
Remember when the belts meant something? I miss them days.
The Dudley splitting worked out pretty well. The Acolytes split...not so well.
And can we fire Goldust and Bossman? Do we really need these guys? And scrub Crash as well. AND Stevie Richards! If they really wanna push the new talent, they need to make room for 'em. So start by cutting the roster, and start with these heatless, aged or just plain uninteresting jobbers.
But Bossman and Crash Holly. Cut 'em loose! Every minute of TV they take up is a minute that could be used for D-Lo Brown, or Lance Storm, or Tommy Dreamer. Three guys who I think are cool and deserve a chance to get over. Crash and Bossman have had that chance. They have failed.
You? You're doing good.
Also: Jim Ross STILL sucks.
Good of you to get that in there. ;-)
Subject: You Want Letters? You Get Letters.
You asked for it.
Forget Hogan’s inspired title run or HHH’s backstage maneuvering. No, the Rock is the REAL Cerebral Assassin, and here’s why.
The Rock is going to come through this Brand Extension business less blemished than practically anyone. Now, don’t get me wrong. I think the CONCEPT of the Split is great, but let’s examine it more closely, shall we?
It’s a given that The Rock would go to Smackdown – after all, it’s “his” show. And it was a given that Vince would gain control of that show, since Austin/McMahon is played out but Austin/Flair and Rock/McMahon aren’t. Left little question about where Austin would go, right?
Wait, it gets better. Vince, the guy who coined the term “sports entertainment,” the guy who redefined his product as “an action/adventure soap opera for men,” is running a show that’s in prime time on a network, where he can’t be nearly as raunchy as he was on cable. (Case in point: Stacy’s audition. Now, I love to look at Ms. Keibler, but that whole skit would’ve been more appropriate for Raw, IMO. Here’s another one: did they even think about which show Rock’s “You Are! An Asshole!” chant was headed for? Good thing it didn’t catch on, so we don’t have to listen to months of “You Are! A [mute]!”) Meanwhile Ric Flair, the greatest performer of the last quarter century and a guy we might’ve counted on to bring us a more wrestling-focused, family-friendly, sure-to-get-the-PTC-off-the-WWF’s-back product, is on Raw, where he CAN say “ass.”
And he’s got nearly all the big lugs! Undertaker! Big Show! Nash! Kane! Lesnar! Hall! Bradshaw! All on Raw! What did Vince get? He got Test… and Albert… and Rikishi… and the Cruisers! Yes, Vince “Big Man Fetish” McMahon, who could never get a light heavyweight division off the ground, is now responsible for the Cruiserweights! Go figure – it’s the only singles title that’s exclusively Smackdown’s.
Yeah, that’s right: Flair got the IC strap, the Euro strap, the Hardcore strap (even though the joke is dead), and – since he got all the women who can actually wrestle – he’s got the Women’s title by default. Vince has the Cruiserweight belt and the Tag Team belts, even though all the tag teams that weren’t broken up (Hardys, n.W.o.) are on Raw. Dudleys? Gone. APA? Gone. Edge & Christian? Long gone. Then he went and broke up Scotty and Albert so the division can revolve around Billy & Chuck and Al & Maven. If somehow Goldust & Booker T or Bubba Ray & Spike gel as teams… wait, they’re on Raw, too. Silly me.
You know, the only way to top this would be to have Russo writing Crash TV skits for Smackdown’s wrestler-centric talent (Angle, Benoit, Storm, et al), while turning all Raw booking over to Terry Taylor and Johnny Ace.
So here we are, trying to make the best of the situation, and where’s The Rock? Funny, what with the promotional tour and the vacation time, he’s not even going to be around for months… which makes him the Smartest Man in Wrestling.
You know, last night's airing of "Time's Arrow, Part I" also continues TNN's tradition of fucking with the order of the episodes they play at 8/7c...last week, they were in season 6, now they're apparently back to the end of season 5. Hmm...maybe they're trying to put cliffhangers on Mondays, to get some of the wrestling audience? If you ask me, they'd be better served by upping the quality of their promos (some of which have been playing over and over since October).
I certainly hope you're trying to compare the conclusion of those two episodes with that of "Descent." And hey, you're not going to blame "Time's Arrow" on Jeri Ryan, are you?
On another note, I think you should use one of your TNG reviews to mention Brent Spiner's extreme devotion to the "Data" gimmick. It's also funny to imagine what the show would be like if TNG had the same sort of backstage politics as wrestling does...can you imagine if Patrick Stewart wouldn't come to work because he was sick of jobbing to the Borg? Or if Geordi got pushed to the undercard because Jonathan Frakes told Rick Berman that Levar has a poor workrate? Or what if Michael Dorn, during contract negotiations, demanded that Worf get a promotion?
On the split:
Personally, the biggest problem I have with the split is that it looks as though most of the best workers are on Smackdown, which means their matches will only be called by Michael "Takedown/Knockdown/_____ is BATTLING BACK/shot to the _____" Cole.
BTW: good call in recognizing the superiority of the Goldust/Booker T movie review segment. Normally I'd be pretty pissed that Booker's being teamed with a midcarder (especially after the Bossman debacle), but that RULED. I also like the idea of two guys that cooperate in the ring, and hate each other outside of it. And besides, Booker & Dust have good...uhhh...chemistry, I guess. Or maybe I'm just hoping to see Booker act out famous movie roles for the next few weeks.
Subject: Here's your goddamned precious email CRZ,
About how long does it take you to bang out a recap? I do it for Will Parrish over at altwrestling.net and I clock in at about three and a half hours, although I don't go into the dialogue as much as you.
Since this is the era of the big comeback, I had a question that I think only you could answer. When Ken Patera came out of prison with his brown hair he was immediately antagonized by Bobby Heenan. At one point they engaged in a "debate" on one of the Saturday morning syndicated shows, and during a segment of Heenan's spiel he was muted out and a message crawled at the bottom of the screen, saying something like "due to the sensitive nature of his comments we can't air it...blah, blah, blah." What in the hell was he talking about? The only other thing I remember about the whole bit was the Brain unfolding a piece of paper when as he was getting into it. Eventually Bobby lost it and attacked Patera with his belt, and Patera injured Bobby's neck with it, which became an angle on "Saturday Night's Main Event" the next month. Help?
Do you agree that Raw has come away as the better show so far? "Planet Stasiak" needs to become a weekly segment a la "Piper's Pit", no?
I think you overestimate my old school knowledge. ;-) I can't help you with this one, but I bet somebody will come up with the answer on the message board tout suite.
Subject: Raw rant
I don't know what show you were watching, but Hogan got a bigger pop than Austin last night. He got a bigger pop than Triple Itch at Backlash. Besides, Missouri isn't in the North and therefore not really pro-Hogan. Hogan will be over like gangbuster in New York.
Well, that just made my day. Still, I contend that Hogan's reaction on Monday wasn't nearly as big as you've made it out to be. I guess we'll see as time goes on - and it steadily diminishes...
Here's a look at the dotcom - HOGAN DOES THE IMPOSSIBLE, it says - when Hogan last held this title, there WAS no World Wide Web - chew on THAT.
Hate to break it to you, Z but Hogan has NEVER held THIS title.
And since you asked so nicely: The split is treating me just fine, thanks. Especially RAW. I feel indifferent toward the nWo, but I like heel stables and Scott Hall, so, I'm all for it I guess. Hogan as champion is ok, as long as they keep it short. Strike while the iron's hot as the saying goes.
As for how I feel about you...I like you just fine when you aren't threatening to ban me from the board.
I'm glad to know that I wasn't the only one who thought the Booker T/Golddust film spot was hilarious. That was the funniest wrestling moment since......heck, since I don't know when.
That's a different Matt. (I know you were wondering.)
Subject: Mail call
First of all, last year I sent you some spoilers from the 29 January 2001 Nitro/Thunder tapings. I'd like to apologize for a couple of grammatical errors, but more importantly after I saw the event on tape again, I realized some sections I misjudged greatly. First of all, that was a helluva match between Kidman and Helms on Thunder. The lack of excitement was probably since it was after the Nitro main event and everyone had to "recover". Also, I wish Helms would use the Vertebreaker again. That move is absolutely devastating, and it puts finishing moves like the Rock Bottom to shame. Certainly it has something to do with the WWF's reluctance to use pile drivers and similar moves. But if Helms were to turn heel, it would be an effective way to get him over as a heel by destroying a cruiserweight face (like Kidman, who would already know how to take the bump properly).
On to more current news. The NWO poison, just like the WCW/ECW InVasion, has just about failed. The WWF bought the WCW tape library, haven't they been watching any of it? The original NWO failed due to talent dilution, when people just didn't care anymore about the group of B-teamers. If Vince allowed the NWO to build some individual credibility, then that would be something. During the WCW invasion, I recall Booker T only getting one squash (Tajiri). Sure he's a heel so he's supposed to cheat to win, but fans need to see him beat someone cleanly to show off his moveset and to gain credibility. Now with the NWO, I thought the beatdown of the Rock on Raw was a well done move. Of course, they never gave Hall or Nash any genuine credibililty either. Wait didn't Hall beat Spike Dudley on Heat? Exactly.. no one watches Heat. Of course Hall and Nash are past their primes, so it would be hard but not impossible to make them look good.
So, now it looks like Hogan vs. the Undertaker as the main event for the next PPV. And WWF fans used to mock WCW for headlining old guys... like at the Nitro/Thunder event I went to, Dusty Rhodes made an appearance. For a few minutes, I was in nostalgic heaven. But once the novelty wore off (the next day), Dusty was just another blubbering fatass. For Hogan, the novelty is already beginning to wear off. If the WWF is going to ride the nostalgia angle for a while, why not have Hogan vs. Flair? Both guys can still get a rise of the crowd. Better yet, we could bring back some old NWA/WCW fans by having Mulkeymania running wild...
I know the WWF is trying their best to put out a quality product, but I'm sure it much more complicated than we fans think. Besides the fans, the WWF has to satisfy its shareholders, advertisers, wrestlers, and most importantly Vince's ego.
P.S. With Booker T on Raw and Chris Benoit on Smackdown, when are we going to see a best of seven rematch? Both wrestlers would love to do it again I'm sure. I guess either one of them would have to win the WWF title. I can dig THAT.
They'd NEVER do anything that could be construed as "coming from the WCW..." would they? Too bad.
On your Monday recap you asked, ...say how many weeks has Lesnar been here...how come they STILL haven't given us a name for this move yet?
To which I say what does it really matter what they name it, Good Ole' J.R. isn't going to remember to call it that anyway.
Still, would it KILL them to come up with a name? Just a li'l ol' name. Shoot, that shouldn't be this hard!
Subject: YOU GET LETTERS
Let me begin by saying the KINGS RULE--although that's kind of redundant and unnecessary, right? I mean, that's what kings do; they rule.
The split is a very good thing. It means that ALL the stuff that sucks--Kane, Undertaker, Hall, Nash, X-Pac, Big Show, Bossman, Hardcore Title, Goldust--is on Raw so I can skip it EVERY week. I never thought I'd miss a single WWF program deliberately in my life but I've gotten frustrated enough with it that I will now. The new circumstances allow me to see just about EVERYBODY I want to see on SmackDown every week with minimal crap to put up with, Hogan, Helmsley, Vince, Chuckabilly and crappy booking notwithstanding. Sure, I'll miss RVD, Eddy, Booker T and Bubba Ray along with a few others, but they should be on PPV where the only things they'll do that'll really matter will occur along with, hopefully, the particularly brutal Brock Lesnar squashes. I miss jobber squashes, don't you?
P.S.I'd say Hogan sucks, but instead I'll say he can't walk, brother.
I don't miss the endless stream of jobber squashes, but I'm convinced the occasional squash would definitely serve a purpose in this day and age, yep.
Subject: LLL recaps
Is the site going to have LLL recaps? I noticed there aren't any yet, and I still have the second episode on tape, so if nobody else volunteers I could write something up.
PS Wasn't Brock Lesnar a 'free agent' but he still got drafted? In that case, it's nuts that nobody took Goldberg, Sting, Bret Hart, or Gangrel.
PPS JR said something about how the Big Show is the absolute tops in the pure strength department, where does that put Mark Henry?
I CAN'T WAIT for your LLL recaps! They are GOATS WHO PLAY FUTBOL
Subject: Unique? Well, U did ask...
Hey dude, U can either take me as another suckup, or just listen already.
I have been readin UR stuff, since I first got hold of RSPW on an *OLD* BBC A (Acorn electron - probaly a tandy kit over there) machine with a so called modem.
Yeah, I'm in the UK. I saw the Bulldogs and Hogan on UK "saturday afternoon wrestling" when I was a kid. And I was a kid into computers and wresting in the 80's.
In short, I have read literrally thousands of so called "recaps" through the years, by no choice of my own. Now, I read CRZ by choice, got it yet?
Yeah, RSPW. I was that lurker. And Pendleton... (I think U were gone 2 RSPWM then! I followed soon!)
Dude, U kid about it (your millions etc - my choice of words, not yours) but your style of recapping "puts you there" like none other. (How much *does* VKM pay you not to do PPV's BTW!?)
I'd be delighted to send a very occasional comment to slash, (even though I'm a wrestlemaniac at heart, Rick won't get a word!) , but I guess UR overloaded.
But I do think PPL like me who clicked so fast, like I guess U did, at the end of backlash, back to Tuesday in Texas? The Chair? Flair UT Hogan? - is Perfect *really* gonna hang with Stasiak?
Hey, I don't expect 0.001% of this 2 reach slash, but PLS acknowledge at least the first few lines, 2 show what *YOU* have done for fans like me, and MANY others over the years....
As I *ALWAYS* sign my stuff (go check it out),
Tnx, Prince!! I lk U 2!
Christopher Robin Zimmerman