I Get Letters
I continue to thank you for your support of my work here and over at WrestleLie.
A few of you asked me about Sean Shannon's comments about [slash] wrestling included in his WL ECW TV report. I actually hadn't read them until last night, but I'll include them here to save you a trip (Sean Shannon's comments are probably (c) 1999 Sean Shannon and definitely used without permission - however, call it "fair use" if it makes you feel better):
I know you're DYING to hear me respond to this, but I think I'll just let what I'm doing (and this site) speak for itself. Instead of trying to figure out any sinister motives I might have behind it, and whether or not I'm hurting myself, why not sit back and read some columns? Think about some opinions? And laugh at the crappy jokes? Then send me a letter for THIS page!
On to the letters!
I don't know if I approve of you using the word Frick. My mother's family's name if Frick. I would be less offended if you would just use "Fuck." Thank you. :)
Geez, SORRY. Did you tell the Ringmaster at WrestleLine this?
Subject: WCW Nitro
Ignorant @ss. If you hate WCW so much, why do you watch it. Just go and watch your precious WWF and your precious Pebble, Tiny Show, Kind Man, 123 Kid, Hunter-Hearst Helmsley, Luke Warm Steve Austin and the like.
In fairness, I got this letter before last Monday's show, so maybe they don't have such a strong opinion of me today. I mean, hell, calling me an atsignss. That's BRUTAL, man.
Why do you keep writing a Nitro recap if you hate it so much?
I only saw a couple of these in the "I get letters" and I thought you might start to miss them.
Subject: FYI fun
Just thought I would write in with a couple bits 'o info.
While flipping through the magazine racks at Tower Records Monday I ran across a women's bodybuilding mag with Christi "Asya" Wolf on the cover. Turns out the mag is a new "adult female bodybuilding" publication, for men and women, it says! Very disturbing. The freakiest thing is seeing all the botched implant jobs. They look more like Nerf balls than breasts. Nipples pointing in all directions. Asya's chest looks like a guy's buffed pecs stuffed with a couple of grapefruits that have somehow slipped to the four and eight o' clock positions. Ewwww... indeed. What's the moral here? Steroids and women don't mix, mmmkay? Fitness good, lantern jaws bad.
Also, I believe one of the other "Mystery Men" cast members in last night's GTV spot was none other than Paul Reubens. He's sporting a crew cut. I hope the guy gets some semblance of a career going again. Pee-Wee's Playhouse was a fine piece of surreal entertainment.
With a hearty "Hooty hoo" to you too,
All right, I should have spotted Paul Reubens. I have no excuse. As for lantern jaws - well, there's a lame blowjob joke in there somewhere, only I don't know what it is.
Backstage, we see STEPHANIE ready to walk out and TEST stopping her.
"Steph, where you goin'?"
"Angel, he's my brother, I'll be okay, I promise. Just trust me, please."
And here she comes.
c/Angel/Andrew, as in "Andrew Martin", and you got it right.
SHAME on Stephanie for mumbling! Hey, maybe it's just a pet name? Okay, maybe I just goofed. I'll try not to ever make a mistake again. Geez, first Pee-Wee Herman and now this...must have been a bad week for me! Or maybe I was too busy putting the word SLASH in the report...naah
Subject: Lodi loves Lenny
Hey guys, *I know you're brothers* - you need to sign 'em in the proper way." WOW! THEY REALLY HAD US GOING! IT WAS ALL A GIANT SWERVE! THIS IS WCW!
I do not believe they are ending this angle. It looks to me like dillon thinks they're brothers due to having the same last name. Its gonna turn out that they're married. I could be wrong, but ask yourself this: when does WCW ever bother tying up dead angles? They usually just discard the notion and then act as if it never existed. Its rumored that the Hummer angle is dead, and we have heard nothing more about it (nor will we). No, I think WCW will fly in the face of adversity and carry on this ridiculous farce, if for no other reason than to prove they have the stones to do so.
Could it be POSSIBLE that THIS is the angle which marks the return to the complex subtlety of the art of storytelling that we've all come to know and love as wrestling fans to WCW? Naah.
Subject: OMEGA CW Congrats in Nitro report
This is a sign for CW Anderson, who made his name wrestling on the N.C. independent scene in Omega, Southern Championship Wrestling and others. He recently signed with ECW. Others that came out of SCW and Omega in the last several months include the Hardy Boyz and Jason Ahrndt (Joey Abs) to the WWF, as well as The Bad Street Boys ('Serial Thrilla' Shane Helms, Joey 'The Future' Matthews, 'Kid Dynamo' Shannon Moore and 'The Hunter' Christian York), who all signed individual deals with WCW.
just a little 411 for ya. Keep up the good work.
Thanks for the info!
Subject: Raw report
I'm one of the guys that reads your report and exists sans life.
I have one question after reading the report...
How did you miss that the fourth guy in the GTV skit was Paul Reubens? How does a gem like that slip under CRZ radar?
Ummm....I guess I was staring at Janeane?
Subject: a certain little lady that deserves a little more respect
The name is very simple- J-A-N-E-A-N-E G-A-R-O-F-A-L-O
I think you should no better than "that one that hangs from Stiller." Sure, Janeane and Ben are often connected someplace or another (The Ben Stiller Show, Reality Bites, The Cable Guy, MTV Movie Awards, Permanent Midnight, Feel This Book, Mystery Men, etc.) but Janeane's quite a talent on her own. Besides all of her movie and TV projects, she's (in my opinion) one of the best stand-ups in a long time. And if you don't believe some schmo like me on her greatness, even the late Gene Siskel called her "one of the best supporting actresses of our time."
billy hot chocolate
Two things - one) Gene Siskel is dead and two) it's all right billy, I wanna do her too. Actually Ben & Janeane wrote an article for Playboy a few months back - if I recall correctly, it wasn't terribly funny, but that wasn't Janeane's fault. I sure would like to see Katarina Witt naked again, come to think of it. Wait, what was I talking about?
Subject: RAW Report--"Two other actor types?"
While your RAW report delivered the goods as usual, there is one thing which I absolutely think you needed to point out to the entire world, which you completely overlooked.
I might not be the first person to mail you this, but by god, something must be said.
One of those "two other actor types" was a man named Paul Reubens.
Paul Reubens used to do a certain children's television show. He used to be known as Pee-Wee Herman.
PEE-WEE HERMAN WAS ON WWF RAW TONIGHT.
DO YOU REALIZE THAT THIS IS THE MOST ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC THING TO EVER HAPPEN ON RAW, EVER? FORGET EVERYTHING ELSE THAT HAPPENED--PEE WEE WAS ON RAW.
All right, that's about ENOUGH of Pee-Wee for tonight...
Subject: Shout out to me!
Hey, CRZ, thanks for mention in the latest RAW recap, I really appreciate it. Truth is, though, I pretty damn sure I didn't think that "Vince McMahon would book himself out of a job at this Sunday's pay per view and miss the chance to appear with Ventura."
No WAY, Jose!
give me a break. Nitro was actually good last night and deserves more credit than you're giving it.
Man, and I thought I BENT over backwards to get across that Nitro was pretty good. Some people are NEVER happy!
Subject: Hmm End of an Era on Raw.
But that doesn't mean WWF Smackdown or Sunday Night heat. Remember they keep mentioning no Vince on RAW. Not no Vince on Heat or Smackdown.
Probably think Smackdown will be Vince's focus.
Something to file away and think about later...good point.
"Omega CW Congrats" is a reference to Chris Wright. He's the guy who trained Lodi, (and me!) originally, and he just signed on with ECW. So he's giving his man some props.
Speaking of giving props... I gotta give you some. Many months ago I wrote an e-mail to you dissing your column. As it turns out, I was wrong. I have grown to enjoy your columns for their insight and details. Thanks.
Thanks for the Lodi info - AND for joining the Dark Side!
Subject: About the End of Era
Hey, I was reading your recap and I was thinking about when McMahon first made this challenge about the end of era. I think Jim Ross screwed it up. Mcmahon said he'd never interfere w/ Austin again, any of his matches or nothing. That doesnt exactly constitue him to have to leave TV. Ross was the one saying we'll never see him again and all that BS. Personally I think is much as a powerhouse on TV as Austin is.
I think Austin's lawyers probably would know the REAL answer to that, but I'm with you. McMahon's comments have been expanded quite a bit.
Subject: raw report
Not that it matters, but just so you'll know, the windshield of the bloodmobile was broken because SCSA slipped off the roof and landed on it rather less than gingerly. WWF edited it out. It was quite obvious live, even from the cheapseats where I was (wearing a very cool SASUKE mask but unfortunately never on camera...).
Time for the new WWF bloopers tape - I MUST see this!!
Subject: Hilarious unintentionally seen spot on RAW!!!
I love reading your columns each week, and wanted to take a second to point out something I noticed on the July 19 airing of Raw. During the tag match with Median and Gangrel, there was one spot where Gangrel was thrown into the corner, and while he was still there, Median was thrown in to the same corner (Median was now leaned up against Gangrel in the corner). At this point, if you look carefully, Gangrel quickly reaches down with his left hand, and grabs and pinches Median's ass. Do you care to speculate whether this is in ring humor or homosexual tendencies in action??? Take care and keep up the good work! WCW SUCKS!
- John Presley
Oh man, you gotta believe I'm NOT looking out for moments like this. Anybody else wanna check their tape for me?
Subject: RAW report
Just a bit of trivia you probably already learned...those dealy-bobs that Blackman whipped out when Shamrock showed up with the bat are called kama(s). If he had put the lanyards around his wrists he could do some really cool looking grandstanding with them (assuming he can actually use them).
Also, at some point you said Gunn (not Dogg) was wearing a steel cup at KotR. I don't know if you update things like that, but you might want to fix that one.
Great report. Nowadays when I see the folks walking backstage I can't help but think "they're.....walking". :)
Kamas - used by a Supreme Fighting Machine?
Subject: Couple of Notes from RAW is WAR report 7-20
Couple things to point out to ya
1.) In a spolier report, a fan said Austin slipped down the hood of the mobile and cracked the windshield with his ASS! He said Austin started to laugh about it, then just went backstage.
2.) If you look at the countdown, the first time it came on, it was 10:51 and the countdown said 9 minutes. This past Monday it said 23 minutes and came on at 10:37. So my guess would be Jericho (if its him) would come out @ 11 pm EXACTLY! So I guess if August 9 is the day for Jericho, he will come out to close the show or do a run-in. I dont know about this cause Aug 9 is the LAST live Raw before SummerSlam, so I dont know why Chris would come out to interfer with the main eventers, Austin, HHH, UT, Rock, whoever it is, unless the main event WILL be HHH vs Austin and Jericho helps out HHH and joins the evil DX.
Just food for thought
Hmmm... didn't I read a rumour somewhere that Jericho would debut at SummerSlam? Maybe we need to pay special attention to the last minutes of the last RAW before then...
Subject: July 20, 1999 Raw Recap
The other Mystery Men included Kenan from the Nickelodeon show, Kenan & Kel, and Paul Reubens - the former Pee-Wee Herman
Ben's excerpt makes this page because he's the ONLY guy to bring up the actor who wasn't Paul Reubens. Kudos, Ben!
Subject: Rodman does it again
Here in Los Angeles we get a lot of wrestling news from the WCW side because of the ties with Leno. So every time a WCW wrestler show up on the show NBC always seems to be doing a report on pro wrestling. Well since Rodman is (was) a Laker and a LA resident as well as part time Las Vegas resident he is in the news and tabloids allot. Last night all four of the major news stations were showing Rodman and highlights of Nitro. ESPN & Fox Sports got into the groove as well. With all the deputes that accrued on Nitro lastnight it appears that Rodmans was the most noticed. (although I thought that ICPs destroying Konad and Mini Konad was pretty close) I'm sure you agree with that one...
Subject: reasons why Nitro was GREAT!!!
First of all, seeing Shane Douglas in WCW was a nice "surprise" (it would have been surprising if he showed up 2 weeks ago, but since reading every Internet guy saying he was going to show up last week, i really didnt get that excited). ICP, who failed in ECW and the WWF, took the first step in succeeding in WCW by stepping on Konnan and Rey Jr. Dennis Rodman vs Macho man is NOT a pay-per-view-worthy match, but seeing Savage beat on Kidman was a nice change. Scott Hudson is MUCH BETTER than Tony Schiavone at commentating matches. Hudson and Heenan have a better chemistry calling the matches than Tony and Tenay. The ending of the main event sucked, but seeing Goldberg lift Rick Steiner like he was nothing was AWESOME!!! Oh, and i almost forgot the greatest moment of Nitro on July 19, 1999........
THE RETURN OF NORMAN SMILEY!!!!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!! The beginning of the end for the WWF. NORMAN SMILEY = RATINGS!!!! (not many people got bigger pops than Norman did!!)
I've always felt that about Black Magic.
Subject: a minor point
Geez I read these reports every week so I should probably tell you how much I enjoy them and have for quite a long time. Anyway I am sure someone else will point this out but the Sting Flair 45 minute draw was in 1988 (not '87) against Wrestlemania IV I believe so that would have been late March early April. Since you always seem to point out this type of trivia accurately I figured I'd mention the correct date. Sting was still in the UWF for most of 1987 but was at Starrcade that year after the NWA buyout.
Hope you don't leave Wrestlemaniacs,
You're right! Thanks also to Tony Gancarski from the Cru for pointing this out. Who am I to argue with Scott Hudson?
Subject: bravo to the chef!
just wanted to let you know that heenan was D R U N K.I live in Atlanta,and know some of the road crew,good sources.
Normally, I'd dismiss this out of hand, but...what do you think?
Subject: Easy-E on Nitro
The high spot of Nitro was Sid powerbombing Bitchoff. I laughed my ass off at that. It was probably the only time in the entire show I cheered. Maybe Nitro would get higher ratings if Easy-E got brutalized more.
It's certainly something they should consider trying!
Subject: something i have to say
You know I never really knew what was the big deal about you and wrestleline untill today. You see I just got fired from my job because my boss has no soul. He fired me from a stupid reason because i showed up late to work and i always worked hard. Well i know you don't care but now I know that coporate empires SUCK! sooner or later wrestleline will probaly fire you. Don't let them tell you what to do, You tell them what to do. If I were you, I would quit. It's not about the money is about the principle. So keep Telling of wrestleline, keep telling them they FUCKING SUCK, and you are the man, you know what exactly to say (you should be the leader of a worldwide union)
WrestleLine doesn't SUCK - it isn't worth the energy that goes into that level of contempt.
Christopher Robin Zimmerman
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